Penury Falls, Emily

Penury Falls, Emily

penury

noun

extreme poverty, destitution

I met Larry in mid May. He was sitting on a bench at the park looking out at the lake. There was something, I don't know - maybe the way he sat so slumped - I felt he needed someone to talk to.

When I asked if I could join him he jumped. Almost as if I'd called him back from some where else.

"It's a free country" He said, with a faint smile. His clothing appeared disheveled, not raggedy like a bum, but more like he'd just put them on without thought. He hadn't shaved in a few days and there were dark bags under his eyes.

I'd seen that look on some of the old men back home just before they gave up and died.

Of course I didn't know him, he was just an old man on a bench, but we talked. About the weather, the lake and how he used to fish it, the color of the mountains in the distance. Just chatting.

So after about an hour I thought I would take a chance. "I need a job. Do you know of anyone that would hire someone just out of high school?"

He asked me what sort of job? Did you have any skills? I had to say I didn't other than what I'd picked up around home since I couldn't work after school because of the bus.

"Okay," he said to me, "If I give you a thousand dollars will you kill that kid over there?that wouldn't take much skill."

I thought he was just playing with me but... I wasn't sure - there was a strange look in his eyes. "God no! I couldn't do that. How can you even think that?"

I was ready to get up and leave right there.

"Hold on. How about for that thousand you strip all your clothes and run all the way around the park. For a thousand dollars?"

"Look mister," I told him, "I don't know who you are or who you think I am, but I'm not doing anything like that." And I stood up.

I was done with that crazy old man.

but he patted the seat and asked me to sit back down. he said he was just trying to find out what kind of person I was. Then he pulled some money out of his wallet and asked me to get us hot dogs from the stand.

Well I was hungry, and a hot dog sounded good, so I went over to the hot dog stand, got us dogs and pop and sat back down. he took the change I gave him and stuffed it into a pocket without even looking at it.

He finally introduced himself; Larry Cosgrove, and pointed to a house on the other side of the park. He told me his wife had passed away a few years ago and asked if I would be interested in a job as live in housekeeper. Then he added there would be a few conditions.

Believe me that's when I was up and ready to go. "I'm not that kind of girl." I almost shouted at him. "See you around."

He looked totally surprised. "Whoa, whoa. I didn't say anything about sex. And besides, all sex is to me is a pleasant, but distant memory. I'm willing to pay you a decent wage plus you will have a room and bathroom of your own. If you work out then we'll talk about my conditions."

So we talked a bit more. neither of us knew what a live in housekeeper should get so we left that open. He asked when I could start and I held up my bag with everything I owned in it; "Now."

~~~

When we got to the house he said it might be a bit messy. Let's just say I took one look and almost backed out the door.

"I'm sorry, I guess I got used to it. If you would rather not..." He was almost crying and the look in his eyes was heart breaking.

So I took a deep breath and stepped inside. Larry showed me several bedrooms upstairs and said which ever I wanted.They were all nice but dusty. You could just tell no one had been in them in ages. Probably years.

I picked the one farthest from his room. I don't know why really - self protection? Not that two more doors would have made difference, none had locks. But it seemed the least dusty, and when I peeled the bedspread back the sheets looked clean. At least I wouldn't have to start there.

The kitchen was, to me, the place to start, so I found plastic bags and tackled piles of trash. I'm talking frozen dinner boxes and paper coffee cups. Empty and dirty glass jars of all kinds. Newspapers and grocery store ads by the hundred. That's what went out. Oh, and pizza boxes. I filled a couple trash bags just with those.

Then there was the rest. Dirty dishes so caked with old food it would have been easier to just throw them away. The same with coffee cups and glasses.

But I'm from The Falls. We don't throw things away. So I soaked and scrubbed, then soaked some more. At least Larry had dish soap. I'm not sure what I would have done otherwise.

It took me all afternoon and well into the evening but I had that kitchen sparking. Well okay, it was clean.

But there wasn't any food for dinner. Larry suggested pizza and I was too tired to say no. besides, I hadn't had that many. You can't get delivery down there.

~~~

Living with Larry hasn't always been easy. He has his way of doing things of course, and I accepted that, but sometimes it was hard.

For instance the organization of the kitchen. It was almost as if dishes and pans were placed at random and that was where they stayed. It took me several weeks to gradually arrange things in what made sense to me.

One morning I came into the kitchen to find him standing there looking around. "What's up?" I asked him.

"I can't find the coffee. I wanted to make a pot and I can't find the damn coffee."

I opened a drawer right in front of him. "Coffee, filters, sugar. All right here."

"Well that's not where they're supposed to be."

"Larry, you hired me to be housekeeper, that means I organize things my way. Okay?"

He left the kitchen mumbling about just wanting coffee.

Later I took him a fresh cup - just the way he likes it.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry. You're right. Do it your way. just tell me where things are."

Another big change I brought him was in his diet. Larry had fallen into just eating prepared stuff. Mostly pizzas, Chinese take out, and frozen food.

At home we didn't have any of that. Mom taught me how to cook simple but nutritious, and how to make it appealing.

We didn't do a lot with beef because mostly it was too expensive, but I knew a dozen ways to cook chicken or ham and we always had a lot of vegetables because we grew our own.

So the first time Larry and I went to the grocery was an eye opener for him.

And for the clerk. Obviously she knew him fairly well and was surprised when there wasn't any of his usual in the basket. She looked at him, and then me, just pointed at the groceries on the conveyor and raised an eyebrow in a question.

So I just smiled and nodded. And she nodded back.

Of course all this new food caused some - shall we call it back fire - with Larry and I had to keep opening windows. But he got past all that.

A side effect was he lost some of his belly and he became more energetic and tackled things around the house that needed fixing.

Oh, and his mood improved.

When I first moved in I'd ask him about friends and he'd just mumble and turn away.

One day - I'd been there a couple weeks, I brought friends up and did he want to call or get together with them.

"Fuck'em. I don't need-'em."

One thing my mother showed me - because of my dad - was when a man gets like that there's usually a pretty good reason. So I sat down with Larry and asked him what happened.

He sat there in the kitchen, we always talked in the kitchen, holding a cup of coffee and sipping every now and then.

I waited.

"When my wife was sick, she was three years before she died, at first our friends would come by and visit. Some of the ladies from the church would bring us a meal every now and then. And they'd always say if you ever need something just call."

"As she got worse I set her up on a hospital bed in the den. She was afraid of going to a nursing home. To her that was where you went to die. I took care of her. All day, every day. The only time I had off was when I went to the store. "

Larry stared out the window for the longest time.

"I'd call one of those ladies who claimed to be our friends and 'Good Christians'. They always had one reason or another why they couldn't come over, not even just to visit. I'd beg them to come keep her company just for an hour to give me a little break."

"When Mary finally died all I could think was that at last I could get a nights sleep. Except I couldn't sleep. I kept getting up to check on her. I knew she had died. I knew she was at the funeral home. But I still kept checking."

"I decided that her service would be private, just me and the kids. I didn't want to see those hypocrites with their phony condolences."

~~~

Every so often Larry would talk about his wife, the things they had done or the places they had gone. he said they traveled all over the western states. He talked about camping in Montana and the winds in Wyoming. He didn't like the heat in southern Arizona but up around the Grand Canyon was nice.

He said his wife, Mary, was always collecting rocks or taking pictures and many of the scenics on the walls around the house were hers. And, he said with a laugh, the rocks in the garden.

~~~

Maybe two months or so after I moved in we were watching a baseball game, Larry was an avid fan, knew all the players and their statistics, during a break he muted the sound and said it was time to talk about a condition.

I knew this had to be serious because he was willing to miss part of a ball game.

I tried to joke he might miss something important but he said something like; "This is more important."

"God, not the sex thing again?" I tried to joke.

He just smiled and shook his head. Then he just sat there for a minute or two. "Okay", he finally said, "Here's the deal. I want you to go to college."

I tried to tell him I didn't have the grades for college, I didn't even bother mentioning money, or more specifically my lack of. I didn't even know what I would study.

"No no," He said; "I'm talking the Community College. They have an extensive range of classes. You can take a sampling of a bunch of different things. How about art? I know you like to draw. Or, Marine Biology? They have classes on welding and auto mechanics. Oh, and yoga and astronomy"

"But I can't afford..." I tried to argue with him.

That's when he really shocked me. "I'll pay for your classes and supplies. Hell, I'll even buy you some clothes. Nothing fancy, just what you'd need to blend in."

So in the fall I went to college. Well kinda. See, I took some exploratory classes - drawing, medical billing, intro to nursing, and intro to marine biology.

Medical billing was boring as all get out, plus I'd be indoors all day, every day. That didn't appeal.

Nursing might have been interesting except when I heard about bed pans and giving bed baths I decided to pass.

When I talked to Larry about those he just shrugged and said to keep looking.

Marine Biology was interesting when we went to tide pools. Learning to Scuba dive was fun in a pool but my first trip on a boat was my last - I got so sea sick it was getting to the other students. The instructor very nicely suggested I try something else.

But the drawing, that I like. We had art classes in high school but they were more of 'paint what you want' then true instruction. Now I'm getting a true grounding in technique and I enjoy it. Will I go anywhere with it? I think it's too soon to know but I'm enjoying this and Larry says that's what's important.

~~~

At Larry's insistence every weekend I'd call my folks, just letting them know how I was doing.

Then on labor Day we drove down to The Falls. Larry wanted to look around at a place he hadn't seen in decades and meet my folks.

We spent some time with mom and dad and then Larry said he wanted to look the old neighborhood over. Dad went with him and Mom and I had time to just chat.

She wanted to be reassured everything was right, that Larry wan't abusing me or any thing. Not only could I do that, but when I told her Larry wanted me to go to college she was really impressed.

When Dad and Larry came back they were telling us about the changes he'd noticed, and the places that hadn't. Of course the house he grew up in was gone, but his grandmother's cabin was still there. I knew that one because there's only a few cabins left and most are just falling down. But not that one. It's been in the same family forever. I think Larry is like a distant cousin to them.

Larry told us about how growing up they learned the good, and bad, plants in the woods - which you could eat or the ones good for home remedies. And the ones to stay away from. "I noticed the stinging nettles have gotten close to the houses. We'd never allow that because the little kids would get into them."

Dad asked about hunting and fishing back then.

He laughed; "I couldn't hit anything if my life depended on it, but when it came to fishing I just had the touch. Mom could just about count on trout for dinner when I went down to the river."

~~~

When we got home that night I asked Larry a question that had been in the back of my mind for a while; "When you sent me for the hot dogs you took money from your wallet, but first you took your wallet out of a plastic bag. Why? What were you going to do?"

"I was going to join Mary."

I was shocked. "You mean...?" I couldn't even finish the sentence.

"Yes. I was going to go for a swim. I just wasn't planning on coming back. But I wanted the authorities to be able to identify me so they could notify the kids."

"Why didn't you? I mean, before I came?"

"I felt like I was waiting for something. A sign maybe. I don't know for sure. But then you came and sat and we talked and I had an idea. And the more we talked... Then when I sent you for the dogs and you returned all the change... Then I knew why I waited."

He turned on the TV and of course a game was on. He turned to me with a smile.

"I needed someone to watch baseball with me."

~~~~~