Perfect Day

Shayne remained seated for a long moment, staring up with a scrunched expression, and then stood slowly. Callie saw the hug coming just before it engulfed her, and she sighed in irritation.

"I'm really not in the mood."

"What, for a hug?"

"Fuck you," Callie whispered, "okay?" She hadn't meant to whisper it, but her voice failed her completely. "Seriously, fuck you."

"I know. " Shayne just held her tighter. "I still love you though."

"I told Echo."

The fingernails running through her hair hesitated, just for a moment, and then went back to lightly scratching her scalp. "Good," Shayne said, her voice sounding weaker as well, and when she continued it was barely a sound at all. "Better that she knows." When she leaned back, Shayne's lips were twisted into a pale imitation of a smile. For just a moment Callie was glad that saying so had hurt Shayne, but it was a petty victory that left her hollow.

Shayne cleared her throat roughly and smiled, this time doing a marginally better job of faking it as she gestured toward the front door. Callie reluctantly let herself be led, and came to a stop just inside with her arms folded in front of her.

It always felt weird to be back there. Every piece of furniture held happy memories, twisting the knife just that much harder. In her more sullen moments, it felt like Shayne was only keeping those things as a constant reminder of their time together, but Callie knew that Shayne was only just scraping by without her helping out with the rent. The little brunette couldn't afford to replace furniture just to appease her hurt feelings.

Her ex-girlfriend walked into the kitchen and turned on one of the burners on her stove. Shayne had perhaps the most androgynous build Callie had ever seen. She wore her hair in a pageboy cut, though it was longer than she'd let it get in years. She had on another of a seemingly-endless number of lowcut boots paired with jeans that were just baggy enough to look casual and just tight enough to speak volumes. She gathered two mugs, two bags, and stood over them waiting for the water to boil without looking back.

Callie looked down at her phone, only peripherally aware that she'd already done so five times since entering Shayne's apartment. She couldn't bring herself to unlock it and see the waiting messages, but she was aware of them. Her legs felt weak, so after another minute she moved to the lone armchair in the room. All the other seats were large enough for two to sit side-by-side.

After a few minutes, a steaming mug appeared next to her. Callie blinked and pulled out of her spiral, and found Shayne sitting across from her. Her ex was staring down through the floorboards.

"I'm sorry—"

"Can you be done apologizing?" Callie snapped.

Shayne gave her a level look. "That it didn't go like you'd hoped, is what I was going to say."

Callie felt her cheeks burst with color, and she looked down. "Oh."

"Yeah."

She licked her lips. "Sorry."

Shayne nodded, neither of them managing to look up at each other, and a minute passed in silence. When the tea cooled enough, she lifted it to her lips and took a sip. Peppermint, with a little bit of sugar and just a touch of honey: just how she liked it.

"Thanks," she said, gripping the warm cup tightly between her hands.

"Least I could do," Shayne said, bitterly. "Put all that time together to some use and make you a warm cup when you need one." She trailed off and shook her head, cursing under her breath. "So... what happened?" The last few words sounded like they'd been ripped from Shayne's throat kicking and screaming.

"She texted me this morning and asked me to come over. I thought it was about something more, but it was just... they wanted weed."

"And that made it seem like a good time to confess your feelings to your first crush?"

Callie looked down into her mug and bit her lip.

"I'm sorry," Shayne said. "I didn't mean to go all jealous ex on you."

"It's okay. We're still trying to figure out how to just be friends." She swallowed and added, "You're worth a few accidental barbs."

Shayne smiled weakly. "Gotta admit. It's hard hearing you talk about her. In the back of my mind, I was always worried you were only with me because you couldn't be with her."

Callie took a long, slow breath. "That's not true."

Shayne gave her a pained smirk. "Aren't we past lying about that kind of thing?"

"It's not true!" she repeated, louder. "You weren't a... You weren't a consolation prize. I was happy." Then, under her breath, she added, "Really happy."

Shayne looked down and nodded, but she didn't look convinced. "Okay."

"Hey. You left me, all right? I don't have it in me to sit here making you feel better right now."

The little brunette didn't look up, and a full minute went by in silence.

"Yeah," she said eventually, as she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I know."

Everything inside of her was tearing apart. It was sheer agony for her, and yet somehow Shayne looked even worse. Callie crossed the room, sat down next to her ex, and drew her head down onto her shoulder. "It's not your fault," she whispered.

Shayne didn't say anything. She just cried.

"It's not your fault."

"I didn't want it to be true," she whimpered. "I still love you."

"I know you do," Callie said. They fell back into the couch and stayed like that for a few more minutes, quietly clinging to each other. It wasn't the first long cry they'd shared over the death of their relationship, and likely wouldn't be the last.

"You had to tell her," Shayne said eventually, her voice finally having found a bit more of its usual strength. "She deserved to know. Can't control the heart. It wants what it wants."

Callie nodded absently, and it occurred to her that Shayne was probably talking to herself as much as anything else.

"You did the right thing."

"Thank you," Callie said, choosing her words carefully. "I appreciate it. I really, really appreciate it."

Shayne looked up at her and smiled. Then she sniffed loudly, blinked, and sat up a bit straighter. "So," she said, "she wanted weed. What happened next?"

"Trevor was there. He came out right at the end."

Her eyes narrowed. "I thought you said they broke up."

"She says they are, but... there he was... and they were acting all together-y. And then, the whole time that's going on, she's... she was..."

"Was she leading you on?"

Callie shook her head and sighed. "I don't know. It could have just been my imagination. I want her to be into me so bad, a-and it felt like she was getting close to... you know."

"Admitting she has feelings for you too?"

Callie nodded.

"It's possible that both things are true, you know. That she has some kind of feelings for both of you. It can be confusing, especially if she doesn't think of herself that way. She might misattribute a lot of feelings toward you as other things. You're a friend, so of course she wants to see you, and spend time with you, and make you smile. I mean, here you are, full-blown lesbian, and you can barely talk about your feelings for another girl."

"Tell me about it," Callie said, chuckling morbidly.

"I guess Echo's not just another girl for you, though." Shayne took a long breath and shook her head. "What did she say when you told her how you felt?"

"She just stared at me. I... I kind of screamed it at her."

Shayne laughed and shook her head. "That sounds about right. Bottle-bottle-bottle-explode. Rinse and repeat."

"Shut up," Callie said, but her heart wasn't in it.

"So?"

"What?"

"Does she have feelings for you?"

"I just told you. She didn't say anything."

"Did you give her a chance to?"

Callie averted her eyes and pressed her lips together.

"That's a no," Shayne said. "If you had to guess, do you think she was more upset at what you were saying or how you were saying it?"

"I don't know," she groaned.

"Is there any chance you waited until you were so upset that a real conversation was basically impossible and still gave her no chance to respond, because the idea of her feeling the same way is even scarier?"

Callie swallowed and looked away. "Maybe. Not on purpose, but..."

"Dead on arrival."

"Shut uuuuup," she groaned.

Shayne slapped Callie's thigh vigorously and stood. She said nothing as she headed down the hall, returning a moment later with a bag about the size of her hand wrapped in brown paper. "Here you go."

Callie went back to the armchair, reached into her purse, and handed Shayne the money. The little brunette didn't count it before shoving it into the back pocket of her pants. When Callie reached for the bag, though, Shayne pulled it back.

"One stipulation. I'm coming."

Callie just stared at her.

"To the party."

"What? No."

"I'm gonna wingman you, and we'll sort this out."

"No."

"C'mon," she said, smirking. "I could totally help!"

"How."

"I don't know," Shayne said, her eyes glittering. "I'll... punch Trevor. Always hated that jackass. Maybe not a punch, but something. I'll distract him. Get you two some time alone."

"Shayne, no."

"Oh! I know! I can get him drunk and promise him a threesome with me and some other girl." Her voice ramped up in intensity as she went on, becoming more excited. "If we wait until he's drunk, which he will be eventually, he won't say no, and then you can be the one that's there holding her hand when she walks in and sees h—"

Callie stepped forward and wrapped her arms around the shorter woman, and held her tightly. Just like that, all of Shayne's energy was snuffed out.

"Please," Shayne said softly. "Please let me help."

"I appreciate that, but I don't think there's any fixing this one." She sniffed loudly, and tilted her head until it rested beside Shayne's. "I blew it. Pretty sure I blew it a long time ago, and there's nothing more for it now."

"I have tequila," the little brunette said, finally hugging her back. "If you need it. Later."

"I might take you up on that."

She took a step back, and Shayne reluctantly handed her the bag of weed. "There's another little baggie inside the bigger one. That's... that's for her parents." Just the slightest pause on her. Shayne looked miserable.

"Thanks," Callie said, as she wiped away even more tears. "I'll make sure they get it."

Shayne nodded but didn't respond, and didn't meet her eye as she turned to leave. The door quietly closed in her wake, and none of the curtains twitched when Callie climbed back into the driver's seat of her car. She wouldn't be watching as she once had whenever Callie left. Those days were over, and it was a bitter pill to swallow.

***

Night had fallen by the time Callie found her courage. Every light was on in Trevor's parent's house, within and without, and from a distance it looked like any number of parties she'd been invited to over the years. She tried telling herself, repeatedly, that it was just another party, but it didn't help. In the end, there was nothing for it but to put on her big girl pants and march.

She recognized most everyone, and most everyone recognized her. A few saw her and reacted with muted shock, and she lowered her eyes and pressed on past those. They knew what she'd done. She could see it in their eyes. After the third such time, when one of Turtle's friends leaned over to whisper in another person's ear, Callie just ducked her head and stopped making eye contact altogether.

"Callie."

Trevor's voice stopped her cold in her tracks. She hadn't really thought that she'd find Echo first, but it was still crushing to fail.

"What are you doing here?"

"I—" she started, but Trevor talked right over her.

"She doesn't want to see you."

Callie nodded quietly, and pulled the wrapped bag out of her purse. "The little baggie inside is for her parents."

"Got it," he said curtly, as he tore the bag from her grasp. "Anything else?"

Callie shook her head and turned. The crowds parted a little more for her on the way back to the door than they had on the way in, and she'd almost made it out before a hand settled gently on her shoulder, and her stomach fluttered for a moment. She looked back and up and tried to pretend like she hadn't been about to cry.

"Oh," she said, smiling bitterly. "Hey."

"Hey!" Jason said, giving her a quick hug. "Are you heading out?"

Callie nodded and he didn't seem surprised. Jason licked his lips, and his smile only looked slightly forced.

"Okay, well... It was great that you came out today. It meant a lot, especially with... you know. Everything else."

Callie gave him a quick hug and whispered, "Look out for yourself, okay?"

"Okay," he said, laughing. "I will."

"You're a good guy."

He smiled as they pulled apart, and nobody else tried to stop her as she made her way to the front door and out. She was almost relieved it was over so quickly. The night was empty, and a bit quieter with every step she took away from the party. She got to her car, sat down in the driver's seat, and started the engine. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the steering wheel tighter and tighter. It was only nine in the evening, but she couldn't wait for the day to be over.

And then the side door opened, and Echo jumped in next to her.

"Drive," she said, looking everywhere but at Callie.

Callie just stared at her, wiped at her cheeks, and blinked in confusion.

"Drive!"

Callie's foot pressed down on the accelerator before she'd even really looked at what her car was aimed at, and only a frantic, last second wrenching of the wheel avoided a collision with a parked car. She kept glancing sideways, trying to comprehend what was happening, but nothing in the last twelve hours had prepared her for the surprise sitting in her passenger seat. Echo only stopped looking over her shoulder after they'd rounded two corners, and then she sank into the chair.

"Buckle," Callie croaked, and a few moments later the redhead hesitantly reached behind herself and popped the nylon strap into place. After a minute of silence, she quietly asked, "Where am I going?"

Echo did not respond. She simply sat behind an impenetrable curtain of hair. It almost sounded like she was crying, but it was hard to tell over the sound of the engine and the road.

Suddenly, Echo burst out laughing. It was a wet laugh, bubbling up like a spring. She reached up with both hands, covered her mouth, and gave Callie a wide-eyed stare. Callie tried to look over at her and make eye contact, but couldn't intuit the expression she received in response. The redhead sniffed a few times, pulled down the passenger side visor, and checked herself in the mirror.

"Hi," Echo said eventually, her lips curled into the faintest impression of a smile.

"Hi," Callie said back. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, suddenly seeming quite lively. "How are you?" She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue from the glove box, and then put the visor back up.

"Uhhh." Callie blinked, and sat back as they sat at a red light. "Tired. Today was kind of exhausting, if I'm being honest."

"Oh no. I'm sorry," she said. "Are you okay? Do you want to do this another time?"

Callie stared hard, her jaw hanging open. "What?"

"Okay, good," she said, laughing easily. "I'd be too nervous to try this again. I can't remember the last time I was on a blind date, and... you seem really nice."

"A what?!" Callie barked. A car honked behind her, and Callie realized belatedly that the light had already turned green.

"Your friend didn't tell you?" Echo bit her lip and smiled. "They set us up. I'm sorry. I thought you knew."

Callie was all set to turn onto a sidestreet, park, and sort this out when out of the corner of her eye she saw a hopeful smile on Echo's lips. She'd seen it when they used to petition each others parents for sleepovers, or while watching the Dread Pirate Roberts court Princess Buttercup any of the dozens of times they'd watched The Princess Bride. It was a special smile, one Echo did not allow many people to see, and that made Callie pause.

"Okay," Callie said slowly, as she eased through the intersection. "We're on a blind date. Right."

"Fantastic!" Echo beamed. "If you're up for it, maybe we could grab a cup of coffee?"

After another long breath Callie nodded, her mind racing. She spun the wheel, taking a left at just about the last possible moment, and her tires squealed as she sped down the poorly-lit side road.

"There was a Starbucks just down the road there," Echo said, glancing back over her shoulder.

Callie nodded and said, "I know. I don't really like Starbucks though."

"You don't?" Then Echo seemed to catch herself and sat up a bit straighter. "I mean. Oh. Where do you want to go?"

She smiled but didn't respond. "Have you ever been to the Cleverly Named Coffee Shop?"

Echo just blinked. "I've heard of it, but no. Never been."

"Well, you won't be able to say that after tonight."

"Do you... like going there?"

"It's my favorite," Callie said.

"Really?" she asked, with a tone of mild disbelief.

Callie nodded.

"Huh." She licked her lips and twisted in her seat. "Yeah, okay. Rolling with it. Let's learn things. Tell me something no one knows about you."

Calllie narrowed her eyes for a moment, considering. "I like a lot of hip hop," she said.

Echo's brow knitted in consternation. "Really?"

"I don't... normally... talk a lot? My..." She paused and reconsidered her wording. "I have been told that I have a problem with bottling things up. I don't usually think that other people want to hear what's going on with me, or what I think." At a raised eyebrow, she added, "Most people don't, anyway, and... I think there's something about the swagger and expressiveness in hip hop that appeals to me."

"...Really?"

"Hey," Callie said, voice lilting, "I can be the answer. I'm ready to dance when the vamp up and when I hit that dip, get your camera! You can see I 'been that bitch since the Pamper and that I am that young sis', the beacon. The bitch who wants to compete and I can freak'n fit that pump with the peep in. You know what your bitch become when her weave in!"

As she went on, Callie started using her extended index finger like a dagger, and Echo's jaw dropped open.

"I just wanna sip that punch with your peeps and... sit in that lunch if you're treatin'! Kick it with your bitch who come from Parisian. She know where I get mine from, and the season. Now she wanna lick my plum in the evenin'... and fit that tongue-tongue d-deep in. I guess that cunt gettin' eaten.

I guess that cunt gettin' eaten!"

"Did you just make that up?" Echo asked, her expression stunned.

Callie laughed and shook her head. "Say what you want about Azealia Banks, but that song slaps."

"Who?"

"Oh my god," Callie said, briefly covering her eyes with the palm of her hand. "Don't worry about it."

"No! Seriously! Who is that?"

"She is a lot to get into on a first date," she laughed. "Maybe pin that one."

"All right," Echo said. "My turn. Let's see." She bit her lip, and her eyes wandered sightlessly. "Something about me that nobody knows."

Callie snuck a few glances over whenever traffic permitted, and the redhead's face was pinched in consternation.

"What nobody knows," she muttered, seemingly to herself. "Uh... You wouldn't know this, but I'm kind of a compulsive sharer. There aren't a lot of things I don't talk about... or... any things."

"Oh really?" Callie laughed. "That sounds like a terrible problem to have."

"I mean..." Echo drifted off and looked to the side. "Well, there's this friend that I have that I like. I haven't really told anyone about that."