by PlainJane12
loved it please write more.. I just can't wait to know what happens next!
Nicely done, good dialogue, plausible premise. Looking forward to next chapter.
I really like this story and rated it five stars, the one bit I found slightly offputting was the bit where it said - to stretch out that cavern that just couldn't completely close. I think most girls would be insulted if you referred to their vaginas as caverns. It just doesn't conjure up a nice image to me. Saying that I really like the story and the way its developed and I like the concept. The only reason I've commented is because you can obviously write a great story and I hope you continue to write and part of that is receiving criticism so that you get better and better. Very good though.