All Comments on 'Peridur and Eleanor Ch. 01'

Intriguing thus far .

It's... A lot of exposition. (and the dialogue feels a little clunky.)

There's an interesting premise, though, and as a story for a writer to hone their teeth on, it appears to be a good one. Keep at it!

Thank you for the comments.

My girlfriend and I write collaboratively, each taking turns. The story was not primarily meant to be erotica but it turned out that way. It was meant as an experiment in co authorship and connection.