Perri 01

I mean, fine, I have a screw loose, folks. I should have snuck away, right?

[Fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap]

"Alright, I'm backing away then, stranger."

See folks, even a loose screw can be tightened before it's too late.

"So, who is your fantasy catch then, stranger? A woman, a man or a confused boy, hmm?"

[Fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap]

"A guy who looks like a girl. Now beat it."

"You're beating it just fine and I'm a boy who dresses like a girl every weekend."

[Switchgrass bundles being swished and swooshed like a mad man was getting after it!]

Or time to exit quick for short!

[Drone humming and hovering overhead]

Um, nope! My sexual experiences may be limited and I don't have a lot of inhibitions about sex, but as for being the kneeling center target, I mean, center of attention for a one guy fantasy circle jerk, nope! I moved on and I moved on quick!

And then I snuck back. Because I have a screw loose.

"It's me stranger, but stand still. I'm not for your outdoor fantasy, but I'm asking one more time for your name and I'm asking for a friend, so you're obligated to respond, so?"

[Fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap]

[Quietly fans out tall and itchy switchgrass blades to hear better]

[Fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap]

"Kenny, gross and disgusting, Kenny."

[Fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap]

"Are you then obligated to roleplay my fantasy then? Hello?"

Ahh, no! My only obligation was to distribute trash bags and find Nathan before the end of Switchgrass.

[Switchgrass bundles and blades swishing and swooshing as if someone was getting away fast]

[Drone humming and hovering overhead]

[Quietly slips the hell out of there, even without catching a name]

[Re-emerges in the next, next and one more next bundle of switchgrass blades down]

"Trash bag, trash bag and I'm not fanning out the switchgrass blades unless you identify yourself."

"Hey, hey, It's Marci and my boyfriend Derek and we're decent, so shave your forearms and come on inside then. Derek stomped down extra dried grass bundles."

[Ruffles through the dried blades of switchgrass]

[Which still shaves the forearms, long sleeve hoodie or not]

"Oh, are you Perri then? The one that Caitlin claims to have wrapped tight? Either way, Perri, have a seat for a minute, wait, [rap, rap], okay, it's a swamp log, so sit for a minute then, Perri."

"Um, okay, um, I guess I know of you, Marci and I guess I know of you too then, Derek, so."

"Alright then, Perri, care for a mini bottle of vodka then?"

"Ooh, I like that, um, Marci, but I'm on a mission to keep someone company for my first time and I should keep my wits about me, so."

Yeah, well, two mini bottles each later.

"You know, Perri, it's not unheard of that on a 'keeping someone company" date, that you might be the one to roll the condom on, so, what kind of moves do you have and who is the lucky one then, hmm?"

"Oh, I may not have known that, but I buy bananas, so I could do that under the right circumstances and it just so happens that I have been searching for Nathan the nerd and if he doesn't have any follow up moves past my hugging move, well, Switchgrass will come around in another three years, so."

"Tell me your history then, Perri and use the word "boyfriend" instead of "date" for little ole me. And stop shaking, I'm not going to let Derek do you dirty tonight, so, your history then, hmm?"

"Oh, um, I'm still not sure what happened with my first boyfriend other than everything was awkward as all get out, but things seemed more normal with my second boyfriend and my third boyfriend wasn't more than a crazy encounter in the restroom at the mall. It didn't go very far, but it was spontaneous and fun. And my idea for having Nathan as a boyfriend tonight would be unintentional, but unavoidable due to the moment, so?"

"Damn, Perri, that last sentence sounds hot and I wish you well with that tonight, although, now that you said it out loud, I mean, it's a little pre planned now, so?"

Well, snap! Or snap for short!

"LOL, it's fine sweetie, girls fake it all the time, so you just go on about your trash bag distribution business and good luck with everything, just as soon as I put my number in your phone and just as soon as you show me your hugging move with my boyfriend, so?"

"Gulp."

"It's fine, we like the spice and I'll clean things up just as soon as this finely shaped booty disappears into the unknown of tall and itchy switchgrass bundles [slap, squeeze, slap, pat, spice]. And that drone up there is just another slice of spice pie, so, get with it, Perri, don't be shy."

"Let your boobs out for him, Marci."

Seriously? Everyone always says that they have to tell their girlfriends everything twice before anything gets done!

[Plop, boing, bounce]

Also, I like spicy food, so.

"Bye, Derek, it was nice to formally (gulp) meet you tonight, so."

[A practiced thigh nudge and then thigh nudge sawing action]

"Oh, oh, Perri, yeah, you got a move then, oh, oh, cut my wood with your sawing action then, Perri."

[Saw, zig, zag, rub, move, saw, zig, zag, rub]

"Hey, hey, Perri, watch your amount of pressure. It's a man's curse to have balls so sensitive, but I agree, we're inviting you over some night in the future."

[Gentle see saw, soft see saw, fragile see saw, a firm see saw for kicks]

"Hmph, oh, ooh, so, so, ooh, oh yeah, oh, cut it, Perri, cut it."

"And time!"

[Drone humming and hovering overhead. And acting weird?]

"Alright, Perri, disappear into the vastness of the switchgrass and find your dream company date and Derek, gag me and gag me quick before that drone overhead runs low on battery power!"

[Switchgrass bundles swishing and swooshing after two photos of new friends]

"Nathan? Nathan? Damn it. Nathan, I've gone through hell and a little dampness to find you! Nathan? Where are you?"

"LOL, here, Perri, just here to the right."

[Gets a fresh facial shave from finally finding dream "keeping company" date Nathan]

"Damn, that was insane. Did you get a lot of good video drone footage?"

[Unbutton, slip down, oh, so those camo pants do come off then, huh?]

"OMG, Perri, I got everyone! I mean, people just want to, well, people like you, Perri. And did we change our deal then? Also, now I know why people love you so much."

"Hey, we never said anything beyond tricking people into compromising situations and this is my truth from my side anyways, unless you don't like me without pants on, so?"

Well, here the normal nerd thing, folks. They stare for quite a while, pinch themselves and then stare a little more and then you have to break all that all.

"Nathan, I don't how far things will go and I don't care if either of us is any good, but I'm in the process of getting naked for you and then whatever you do, is what you do, so????"

Well, snap, maybe. I mean, after what I just went through in the vastness of switchgrass stomped down circle spots, I mean, I was worked and frisky. And after Nathan started to breathe again, he seemed to be getting after it, until I listened to Marci's advice and helped with the condom. Which was when Nathan did what he was going to do, which was phew, phew, phew, phew, phew and ahh as I sat there keeping a firm grip on the ring to keep containment. But hey, in Nathan's defense, he really loaded up, or LOL, unloaded into the condom!

Or he went back into his shy shell afterwards and I had to make my way back through the switchgrass spots again for short! In reverse.

End Perri 01