Persistent Ch. 02

"Linda, are you telling me..." his head was on a spin "Wait, I wasn't..."

"Let's have lunch one day and we'll talk, OK? I really have to go now. Bye."

She left him in there and walked out. He was looking behind her, trying to understand. Was she telling the truth? She had to be playing or trying to save face, those things she told couldn't be true. But...

Linda was breathing heavily in the elevator. Her heart rate was off the ceiling. She managed to do what she planned and she nailed it.

And she was horny and wet down there. That was so hot. She couldn't put a name on that but this was no different than that dirty feeling.

At first, seeing him made her feel those dirty sensations again. Especially when he pushed further, for a moment, she imagined herself giving in again. There was a voice in her head, telling her that Paul already left her and she still desired that humiliating sex. She didn't but her naughty side still wanted to be used by him. When she said "unfinished business", she was telling him the truth. Her desire to be used like a slut was unfulfilled.

But she wanted Paul back and this fantasy didn't appear that appealing to her this time. Because, this time she was feeling different.

She already suffered from the consequences, not only the ones about her marriage; she hated to be in that horrible mindset which was full of shame.

After seeing his confusion, all his dirty magic disappeared for her. His confidence was out of the window and she felt the taste of making him troubled. When she increased that, she tasted desperation, which was even more satisfying. When she added a subtle humiliation, she almost reached that arousal she felt on her vacation. Not the one in the elevator, of course. That and the thought of being used was something else.

She realized that there were many things that could turn somebody on a lot, about sex.

She didn't need that submissive itch to get horny, humiliating a man, especially Nick could be arousing too.

Probably there were many other ways to accomplish that kind of a steamy sex. Which didn't have to be as dirty and risky as the previous feeling.

But even if Paul returned to her, their sex life had to change. She had a greater appetite for games in sex.

That feeling helped her to continue her staged speech. She even said spontaneous things at that moment which fit perfectly.

At least, she managed to alter that event from the ugly reality to something which she wasn't a victim of anymore.

Her worries about her marriage were more important at that moment, so that made it easier for her, feeling less anxious about talking to Nick. And, she felt like her career was under control, so she could focus on Paul.

Her first week went on like that. She visited or called Paul, Nick called her time to time, tried to talk to her in the office, got frustrated to see her so relaxed about everything on every single conversation. His pathetic efforts let Linda practice her newly found game. She started to get comfortable about this.

He tried to imagine that was Linda when he was having sex with Emma but it was futile. He wasn't getting relieved from his desire for her. Even if he was almost sure that Linda was lying about the vacation, her current condition made him sick.

He was thinking of Linda all the time. This wasn't new, he was consumed by thinking about her since the beginning of that vacation. But it changed after that night and it became a problem after talking to her.

He didn't like feeling helpless and he kept on calling her. He started to become insistent and that wasn't helping him. That was making Linda feel more natural in her role, she was starting to enjoy that and she was feeling free of her stained mood bit by bit. At least in the office.

Her mood was also reflected on Paul as well. She wasn't acting that broken and helpless and Paul was understanding that he had to let his agitation to wear off. Not like seeing what happened as 'not that much of a big deal' but he had to act like an adult. She was doing that, apparently.

In fact, Linda was changing. She was starting to get annoyed about how she had to humor Paul all the time like that. He didn't even call her once and she didn't want him to think that she was going to pamper him like that forever. She decided to speed things up. She had many battles to fight and she needed to concentrate. She wasn't feeling that guilty anymore. If she deserved a punishment, she already declared that she was ready for it. She was going to corner him.

Fortunately, he finally accepted to go out on a dinner with her when she asked.

They kept the troublesome subject at bay and they were careful enough not to talk about their good old days. That could hurt Paul more than talking about her vacation.

Paul wasn't relaxed but Linda was acting as if they were on their first date. This was affecting Paul as well. Seeing her relaxed like that, seeing her as she truly was, these were all making him confused.

A few times, he found himself watching her in awe; her beauty never became normal for him. Since he left, she was caring for her appearance better. Paul was going to have a hard time if he was going to decide to leave her.

At the end of the dinner, she invited him back to their house.

"I don't think I can..."

"Paul, it's your house, this is your woman, come and reclaim what is yours. I promise I will make you feel OK if you give me some time with you." She was lightheaded already. They both knew how alcohol affected her and she didn't spare the wine.

Those words were bold. Paul couldn't decide if he liked or hated them. But the way she was getting out of her guilty mood and narrowing his movement area like that was kind of assuring. And alluring.

"It's hard for me to guess how I will feel or act. I may break your heart."

She drank a bit too much and she wasn't caring about anything that much at that moment. She was thinking that it could be even better if he told her what came to his mouth. It could help him get over with that.

"OK, if you have to. I want you to come home with me. I don't care if you break my heart."

And she was horny again.

This time she was in a completely different mood. She didn't feel like her heart could be broken, she just wanted to control herself, not to break his. Because she was running out of patience.

Her both experiences with Nick changed her. After the first experience, she realized how she hated feeling like a victim, guilty and vulnerable afterwards. And she understood that someone could make her do anything if he managed to make her feel submissive enough.

After the conversation in her office, she understood that she liked to see men feel uncomfortable near her too. She wanted to feel impenetrable, while provoking men to try. She didn't see that in action, it only felt naughty and promising as the submissive feeling.

But she couldn't do that to Paul. She wasn't that drunk. She could calculate how she would feel the next day. She wanted her husband back and she was determined to force him to surrender.

Not like Nick did to her; for good reasons only, for his own benefit.

"If we leave it like that, the chances are worse, I will try to fix what I ruined."

"Wow" Paul thought. She was the Linda he knew, with a new level of self-confidence.

"OK." he said.

When they entered the house, Paul was hesitant, he felt like a stranger in his own house. His last memory wasn't good and since he was trying to decide to end this marriage, he knew that this was a mistake. But Linda held his hand and walked him to the living room, made him sit down and served him some scotch. She didn't want to get drunk so she poured some wine to her glass, just to keep it in her hand.

"So?" Linda said playfully.

Paul was having trouble seeing her like that. She was acting as if nothing happened. If he was planning to come back, this would have been a good thing. But since he never thought to do so, this was bad and annoying.

"Linda, stop doing that."

"?"

"I think you're acting like that because you want me get over that. But this is making me angry."

"OK. So, we sit like that." She wasn't sad and she wasn't acting as she was.

He hated the subject but he was wondering. He tried to ask without making innuendos or being cynical "Have you been seeing him?"

Linda looked at him with cold eyes. She knew he was hurting about this and there was nothing she could do about it.

"I saw him at the office, yes."

Paul exhaled and smirked. He hated everything about this subject.

"Are you going to make me ask?"

"Paul, I don't want to upset you with this subject anymore. I can tell you if you want but nothing I say will change what I did."

"Not talking about it will not cure the pain as well." Paul thought it could help him move forward.

"OK. He came to my office and he wasn't happy. When I left, he was unhappier." She wasn't an idiot. She had to be careful. On what to tell, what to save for later.

"Why? I mean why was he unhappy?"

"Because I left to return to you, to tell you what I did. To try and..." She was getting sad and unhappy again, she didn't want to talk.

"I only love you, that's all you need to know." She finished her words.

"The problem is, I love you too. And there is nothing I can do about it."

"There is. You can come, take me to our bed and take what is yours. I've never been somebody else's."

"Handsome words" Paul thought, "You became Nick's, you looked at him full of desire, you looked at him while he was having you and he looked at you while enjoying you, my wife!"

"I have to go."

Linda was getting annoyed.

"No, you will stay, we will try and then if you want, we can get a divorce. I don't want you to stay in a hotel room."

She was starting to get bored too.

Paul was ruining his image, acting so fragile.

If he left her, she was going to respect him.

If he returned to her out of love, she was going to love him. It was possible that she wasn't going to feel that respect, not at that level. Eventually, he was going to be a man who swallowed such a betrayal. He was going to have to live with the fact that some other man had his wife. On the other hand, his love would help her value him.

But this was the optimum moment for that. He was having a hard time swallowing. He couldn't leave. This was the right moment for them to go on with enough love and respect. She hoped so. How he acted after his return was going to be the key.

Linda stood up and walked to their bedroom saying "Follow me." Even doing that aroused her. She loved that new Linda.

Paul looked at her, confused and astonished.

He thought of leaving. But considering how she was acting, he sensed that if he left, he could never return. He also thought that he was going to remember this night forever.

He desired her and wanted to follow her but it felt wrong too. Because he was worried that this could mean that he renounced his rights to complain about her betrayal. As if he accepted to forgive her.

He found himself standing at the bedroom door, thinking those. It wasn't easy for any man to say no to her, he thought. You wouldn't skip a chance to be with Linda.

It was a good thing that he didn't know the whole story when he thought those.

And, she was lying on the bed in her dark gray silk panties and matching bras, looking at him. This was one of those moments that your brain would stop working and say "we'll talk later".

Linda blew Paul's mind that night. She gave him head, made him eat her pussy, rode him furiously, almost dominated him in bed and was wild for most of the night. They slept like that. Linda woke him up and kissed him before she left for work.

Paul wasn't feeling that bad in the morning. But when he was having breakfast, he started to see the difference in their sex. And it hit him. She did all those things, probably exactly the same way she did with that bastard. She liked having sex with him and she applied what she learned on Paul.

He left without finishing his breakfast. He felt hate for her the first time.

His phone was off the whole day and when Linda returned home, he wasn't there. She bought stuff and was planning to cook for her recovering husband. She called him but the phone was off again.

She decided that she was going to try one last time to rescue that marriage but that was it. If he lingered in making a decision again, she was going to make it easy for him to leave.

The next day, she went to his office and opened the door. He was sitting there.

"Hi."

"..."

She understood that there was something different. He wasn't like that the night before.

"What's going on? I thought we connected that night?"

"I thought so too. But I noticed that I wasn't the one you were trying to reconnect."

"?"

They looked at each other for a period.

"That night, it was very different, don't you think?" Paul started querying.

"Yes, didn't you like it?"

"Linda, all I wanted was to spend time with you, I even was OK if you decided to tell me about your night with him. But you preferred to show me instead of telling me. Don't you have any shame? How could you? Do you hate me or something like that?"

That was it. Linda wasn't going to be nice anymore. She couldn't stand seeing him pity himself all the time.

"OK, that's enough. You had your chance to break my heart that night but you preferred to sit there like a broken teacup. I told you I was ready for what you wanted to say or do. But you couldn't even produce a meaningful sentence. No shouting, no cursing."

She was very excited and she needed to catch her breath.

Paul finally started to say stuff "I don't understand. Did you do it because I chose not to hurt your feelings? Did you want to make me regret, because I didn't act selfish? So, you decided to show me your experiences with the new 'real man' concept of yours?"

Linda was watching him with her gaping mouth. She finally understood what this was all about. He felt what she thought about too. That he wasn't acting like a real man. And, that accusation about the sex?

"Are you an idiot?" She finally shouted. "I didn't even sleep with him you moron!"

This time Paul's mouth was open and he was speechless. All of his thoughts, imaginations were built on picturing her in bed with him. What was she talking about?

"What? Are you kidding me? Do you think you can change your story?"

"What story? I never told you what happened. I told you I cheated on you. I didn't say that I slept with him. We didn't even see each other naked."

"I don't believe you."

"Look, Paul. I don't think that changes anything. I think they are both unforgivable. And I understand if you don't forgive me."

She was getting annoyed. Being upset was something she could empathize for. Being stupid wasn't.

"But, understand that. If I wanted, you wouldn't even have an idea about what happened. You were going to be sitting here happily."

She gave him a moment to understand that fact. When she saw it on his face, she continued, increasing her pressure.

"I'm the one who ran to you to tell my betrayal, I'm the one who returned early without doing worse things and I'm the one who fucked your brains out the night before."

She wanted to stop there but she couldn't.

"If I had slept with him, I guess it would have been a bit different from what we had!!"

Paul looked like he was having a stroke. His face was red, he was hardly breathing. He was trying to register her words and there was too much to process.

But he understood that she wasn't lying.

"But I always thought that..."

"What's the difference?"

"I don't know what actually happened, so, I don't know."

"I will tell you if you can handle it all." She was determined to end this nonsense and remove him from the hamster wheel he was struggling to move forward in.

"I don't want to. Not now."

"No, I will tell you. I want you to make a decision for us and live with it."

He knew he had to hear that. So, she told him everything. Except Nick's big dick and her masturbations. She even told him about the 'not here' part. She wasn't trying to protect herself; she was protecting Paul.

It took a lot of time for Paul to start talking. He cried, he swore at her, he hit the table a few times wishing it was Nick's face, then he calmed down and asked his questions. The significant one was the one that disturbed and relieved him the most.

"So, you wanted to go somewhere else and have sex but he refused? What are you saying?"

"Yes."

"Do you want me to believe that?"

"Do I look like I'm lying? I would say that I told him to stop instead of that. I'm not lying."

"What? Who is this guy? How can he refuse to have sex with you?" He wasn't even aware that how stupid his words were. As if he was sorry that Nick didn't want to fuck his wife. He got furious. The most beautiful and attractive woman, the center of his life, his everything offered herself to that bastard and he told her to 'convince him' to be fucked by him? He didn't want to believe that but this wasn't something she could or would make up.

He didn't want to admit that but this broke his heart and self-confidence more than anything. That was the first time he felt inferior against that bastard. He hated himself for feeling insecure and less, just because he rejected his wife's request to be fucked by him. As if he preferred him to fuck her instead. That scar was going to stay with him forever, his male confidence was not going to recover from that easily.

And then he remembered her last sentence before her story. He understood what she meant. She was telling him that if Nick fucked her, he was going to own her bad. That was what she thought. That was what she saw in him, what she wanted. She said 'a bit different' to be sarcastic. He knew that she wanted to be fucked like that, by him. At least that night.

He felt powerless. He felt inadequate. He always told himself that he was so lucky to have a woman like that but that was different. This time, Paul sensed that it wasn't possible for her to be satisfied with him. That made him realize the fact that he had to do whatever it took to keep her. Leaving her wasn't an option for him.

He didn't want to tell those to Linda because those inferior thoughts could ruin his image in her eyes even more.

On the other hand, he knew she was trying hard to make him return to her. So, she still loved her. He was going to return and in time he was going to feel more secure. He had to try. That way, he justified his future actions, ignoring his inferior feelings.

"You hurt me with your words, I thought I was going to do that."

"I'll let you hurt me too, time to time. Come on, we're going home."

And they went home. Those two days swept Paul's leverage away. It was like she never cheated and it was like she was the one doing a favor to him. Her increased confidence and his inferior feelings caused that. But they were OK.

Linda always was the one in control in their marriage since they married but she increased her control in their marriage, in bed and their sex life shortly after Paul's return.

She liked to see Paul try new things to keep her amused but she still wanted to go rough on him. Or to be roughed up. She waited for some time for Paul to get it together.

Since Paul returned home, he wasn't acting like himself. In a short time, she observed that lack of confidence in him. She didn't want this to happen and she wanted her husband back. But as she worried, he couldn't handle her affair. He hit bottom hearing that Nick didn't have sex with her that night, especially the way it happened.

And he demonstrated its crushing effect on him after he returned. She was right. She started to question his manhood.

He first tried to show her that he could be a domineering alpha in bed; that was awful. If they did that as a fantasy before all these happened, he probably could pull it off. But this one was written 'fake' all over it. He panicked when he didn't see her react the way he was hoping to. It was obvious that she didn't enjoy that.