All Comments on 'Picked Up in the Gym'

so you're a wimp in a male body or a pervert with a boy toy complex, either way it is a saggy old geezer story and every queer knows the only way old fags get a shit cock is money. no one wants geezer cum and this dipshit story is not hot!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know who that asshole is that was so rude that it could not leave a name but I enjoyed your stoy very much and no i am not gay. Keep up the great work.

I was expecting this to be a hot locker room rendevous, but I was a little bit disappointed. I do think the twink/older guy scenario is exciting and that wasn't what ruined it for me. Use of the words "whopper", "brown eye", "stench" or "gut" are not appealing in any situation, let alone in porn. You want to give your readers a very tactile experience, not one that makes them say "Ew!". Keep working, you have good ideas.

I thought that the main idea of your story was pretty good, but there are some things that I think you could improve on:

1) Try not to use "rough" words too much, because that just makes the story gross.

2) Try to describe things more in a sensual manner, so that the reader gets a better feel of the situation. Describe how the two people's bodies connect with eachother.

3) The above can, in many cases, ruin the rough image of the characters that you are trying to establish, so don't do it too much.

Those were just some suggestions, you don't need to change your story if you don't want to, these are just a few things that I would do, and are strictly my opinion, there is no obligation.

i had a similar experience once in my gym. he was older, tan, and in great shape. he wa also hung like a mule. but we ended up getting caught by another guy, and they both put it on me. but that older guy was nice. he really knew how to get it on. i guess that he was about 10inches. i suck him off on a daily basis now.great storie.

At a campsite,very late at night,i went to shower.There were about 8 showers,i chose one,i did not close the door,no need,no one around,i soaped up my cock,i heard footsteps,a guy about my age,mid 50s, walked past,my cock at half mast.He moved to the next stall,i heard the shower,i finished,dried and walked out,his door was open,he was stroking his soaped cock,i stopped and looked,he turned towards me and looked straight at me,still stroking.I moved forward,entering the shower,turned and shut the door,he moved straight behind me,i grabbed some moisturiser and spread it around my hole and reaching for his cock,which was very thick,positioned it against my opening and braced against the door.He wasted no time, pushing, pressure until my hole gave in and he entered me,his thick cock spreading me as at first he moved slowly but then fucked faster until untouched my cock was spraying cumm against the door as he coated my insides with his cumm.As his pulses finished,he pulled out,i went back to the shower and then headed back.

Really hot story and sure hope more is cuming. I'd definitely be back for more of that hung tops cock.