Pinar Ch. 02: Pinar's Story

When the time came for him to show up at my house, I was more nervous than I'd ever been before when getting ready to make love to someone. I mean, I had so many of my hopes and dreams tied up in this that I was afraid my world would come crashing down if it didn't work out between us. So much so, that I froze up when he kissed me, and pulled away from him when he tried to touch me. I just couldn't let go of the passion I felt inside, because of my fear that he'd do the same things all the other men did. He showed me he wasn't like them though, by understanding my fear, although he thought it was a virgin's fear. He treated me just like a virgin too, by sitting me on the sofa, and tenderly kissing and caressing my face until those fears were replaced by desire.

Only after I began kissing him back, did he try to touch me anywhere besides my face. This time, when his hands reached my breasts, I didn't pull away, I pushed them to him. And when one of his hands started moving downward, I gladly opened my legs to give him access to my now wet pussy. That's when I got my first glimpse of how our night would be, because he didn't roughly attack me at that point, like my other lovers had. Instead, he continued his tenderness by giving me a soft and gentle orgasm with his fingers, before pulling away and saying we should eat now.

I wanted to tell him to fuck the dinner, and fuck me instead, especially when he started talking about 'seeing myself' doing the things he wanted us to do. I thought he was saying he didn't think I really wanted him there, and I got a little pissed about that and told him so. He said that wasn't what he meant, then tried to explain how imagining myself doing those things before I did them would make me enjoy them more. Like how thinking about eating my pussy and making me cum with his tongue made him horny all by itself. I couldn't see myself getting excited about sucking his cock, since I'd only done it to make the guys happy.

But, I couldn't tell him that, because I was supposed to be a virgin to these things. Instead I told him I was only excited about learning how to make a man happy, not about the acts themselves. Then, to make up for the lie, because I did have some experience, I told him I wanted to try doing the things in the movie myself. That included taking off the rest of his clothes for him, since we'd already started undressing each other by then.

Actually, I was a virgin when it came to taking a man's pants off, and definitely one when it came to sucking a man's cock without him guiding me every step of the way. So, I really would have to try and remember all the things the girls did in the movies, so I could do them to him. That's what made me finally understand what he'd been trying to tell me, that thinking about all those scenes I'd watched and masturbated to. Because, by the time he was down to just his underwear, and I reached out to touch his cock for the first time, I was feeling that hunger.

A strong desire to have that cock in my mouth where I knew it belonged. And an irresistible urge to have him cum in that mouth, so I could taste his delicious sperm. Those movies were about people being in love, and showing that love, and that's what I was hungry to do. To show my love for him, the way they'd shown their love for their men. By using my lips and tongue the way they had, to make the man I loved cum like he'd never cum before.

When you know a man is going to start fucking your mouth as soon as he puts his cock in it, you don't pay attention to the cock itself. Instead, you make sure you're ready for him to grab your head, and brace yourself for when he tries to force it down your throat. So, I never knew how soft the skin of a cock felt on your tongue, how heavy it was when you had to hold it yourself, or how delicious those little drops that leaked out of it tasted. Once I slid my lips over the head of it, I learned all those things at once, and I learned that it really did belong in my mouth. It fit my mouth perfectly, filling it completely, without being the least bit uncomfortable.

And the way it pulsed on my tongue, plus those little drops I just mentioned, made me want to keep it there forever. But, I knew that there was more to doing this than just holding it in my mouth all night. So, after asking him how it felt so far, I proceeded to try all the things I could remember from the films, and some ideas of my own. Some of them didn't work out, because I didn't know how to do them yet, like taking his cock down my throat without him forcing it there. And some could only be done near the end, because of how sensitive he was, like using my tongue, or sucking harder. The ones he moaned about the most though, were ones I wrote in a corner of my brain. Because they were the ones I was going to use when I was ready to make him cum for me.

By the time other guys came in my mouth, my jaws would be tired, my throat would be sore, and my neck would be aching. So, it was always a blessed relief that the whole thing was finally over. This time I was disappointed that he was ready to cum so quickly, even though it had taken twice as long as any of the others. Not that I didn't want him to cum, I definitely wanted that, wanted to swallow my dream lover's sperm. I just wished it had taken a little longer, because I loved having his beautiful cock in my mouth. And, I made myself a promise that the next time I sucked it, I wasn't going to let him cum until I'd had lots of fun with it.

This time though, I knew it was already too late, and that he'd cum no matter what I did. So, I went back to doing the thing that had made him moan the loudest so far, to give him the best orgasm I could. That was gently sucking on the head of his cock, while lightly stroking the shaft, until he exploded and almost choked me to death with all the cream he squirted into my mouth. But, even though I did choke a little when the first shots hit the back of my throat, I didn't let a single drop get away from me. And, with how delicious it tasted to me, I will always make sure none of it ever gets away.

Obviously, I wanted to know how good of a job I'd done, besides just the fact that I'd made him cum. Because, while his wife makes him cum when she does it, I don't think she cares how good his orgasms are, just that he has them. I do care, and want him to have the best ones I can give him, so I naturally wanted to know if I'd done it better than she does. He kissed me several times while telling me how fantastic I had been, and that made me feel real proud. It was only later that I realized he was the first man to ever kiss me after cumming in my mouth, and that meant more than his praise had.

The best part though, was when he told me I deserved a reward, and worked his way down to give it to me. I'd never had a man lick my pussy before, so I wasn't prepared for how wonderful it felt. Even if hadn't loved sucking his cock, it would be worth the sacrifice just to have him do that. And, as my brain exploded, I swore I was going to suck his cock again as soon as I got my breath back.

He didn't let me catch my breath though, he just kept right on licking me, telling me he was just getting started. Then he cranked things up a notch, by sliding a finger in and out of my pussy while he continued to eat me. After my third orgasm, which dwarfed the other two, he added the final piece, by licking my asshole, then beginning to work one of his fingers into that as well. I was going crazy, because that finger in my ass, while his thumb was in my cunt, was the most awesome thing I'd ever felt. And even though he'd told me he didn't plan on us doing that tonight, I began begging him to please put his cock where his finger was. He told me that if I wanted that, I'd have to do it myself, which made me beg louder, because I needed him to fuck me real bad.

He laughed about that, saying I didn't need to beg, because what he'd meant wasn't what I thought it was. He would love to fuck my ass, and he would do that if it was what I really wanted. He just thought it would be a lot easier for me, and less painful, if I was on top at first, so I could control how fast his cock went in there. He was right about that, because it hardly hurt at all, once he opened my ass with his fingers, and I lowered myself onto his cock.

While I'd cum before from ass fucking, it had always been just that, an eventual orgasm, not something mind blowing. This though, was so much better, and so much like me making real love to him, that my orgasm was huge. But, I'm old fashioned enough to want the man to make love to me, and asked if we could do it that way. We didn't do it the normal way though, with him fucking me from behind, we did it face to face like as if he was fucking my pussy. It almost felt like he was fucking my cunt, especially since his cock was rubbing that as he fucked me. I was worried though, that he was only going slow because it was my 'first time', and wasn't getting all the pleasure from it that he should.

I mean, since all the others had wanted to fuck, not make love, I was sure that was what he really wanted too. And, I wanted to give him what he wanted, not just the things that I wanted. So, I asked him to fuck me hard and fast, to see if I would enjoy it that way with him when he finally did start doing it like the others. But I didn't enjoy it, and after 10 minutes, reluctantly asked if we could go back to doing it soft and slow. He wasn't reluctant though, and showed me again that he was 'the one'. Because he told me that he hadn't liked it either, and had only done it fast because I'd asked him to. He was only into making love, not fucking, and to him that always meant being gentle, with lots of kissing.

I was so happy I wanted to cry, because with this, all of my dreams had come true. The things that had been sacrifices with other men, were things that I loved doing with him, things I'd beg him to let me do. I loved how his cock felt in my ass, and loved how it tasted in my mouth. Even if he never ate my pussy again, those things would be more than enough to keep me happy. But, I was a little afraid that what I wanted to do next wouldn't make him happy, even if it had been in one of the movies he gave me. It was what the girl had done at the end of the ass fucking movie, and the part of the movie that made me cum the hardest.

But, what would he say if I told him I wanted to suck his cock after it had been in my asshole? And that I'd wanted it in my mouth as soon as he finished cumming, just like that girl did. Would he think I was disgusting for wanting that, or was his kissing me after he came in my mouth a sign that he might like dirty things too? The light in his eyes when I asked the question meant more than him saying he'd hoped I'd do that. Because, it showed that he wanted it bad enough that he'd gladly return the favor, and I definitely would like that.

As soon as I slid his cock into my mouth, I knew I'd want to suck him clean every time he fucked me in the ass. And, if I only got to suck him once on our nights together, it would be this one. There was something about the taste of his sperm, mixed with the taste of my asshole, that drove me up the wall. That may sound sick to you, but to me, nothing is sick if we both want it. Besides, if it was really that sick, it wouldn't be in every dirty movie they make nowadays. Also, I was going to make sure he always kept fucking my ass until his dick got soft, because I loved feeling it get hard again in my mouth.

Listen to me, talking about liking things that before tonight would have totally turned me off. That was the effect he had on me, which proved he definitely was 'the one'. I'd never enjoyed sucking cock or ass fucking and now I loved them. So much so, that I couldn't even think of a night with him that didn't include both of them. Especially if the cock sucking came after the ass fucking, so his cock would taste as delicious as it did right now.

I'd made myself a promise that I wouldn't let him cum as quickly the next time I sucked his cock, and this was the next time, wasn't it? Licking and sucking him slowly like I was, actually made it pretty easy to prolong things. All I had to do was listen to his body language, and back off every time he started getting too close. That was it's own kind of fun, seeing how close I could get him to cumming, without letting him cum. I did that by using the things I knew he liked, to get him there, then using the things he hadn't liked as much to get him to cool down a little.

But after about 5 or 6 times of taking him right to the edge, I realized it must almost be torture to him. So, I finally did let him cum, although I did like the idea of torturing him like that for a couple of hours some night. I was sure that if I did that though, he might torture me the same way in revenge. Then again, the idea of being tied up and licked all night long sounded like it might be fun. Speaking of licking, he did return the favor, by making my asshole as clean as I'd made his cock. And after he gave me a few orgasms, and another 15 minutes of kissing afterwards, we ended our date, and he went home.

I spent the whole weekend reliving our wonderful night together, and of course, playing with myself a lot. Being with him had been like I knew it would be, and better than I dreamed it could be. I'd known he was 'the one', from the moment our eyes first met, and the only thing that had changed was that my love for him was even stronger than before. But, while there was no doubt about my feelings for him, I did have some doubts as to whether he felt the same or not. I mean, I knew he'd fallen in love with me that long ago night, the same way I'd fallen in love with him. I knew I'd made him happy in bed, and that I could keep him happy for the rest of our lives.

And I knew he'd fall in love with me again, if we kept seeing each other. What I wasn't sure of, was if he'd give us that time, since he felt his age, and his wife, we're deal breakers for me. So, I was prepared for how he acted on Monday, where he told me he should back away from me, to make room for the man I really needed in my life. Because, after playing with him a little, by saying I already had someone, and asking for advice on how to tell that person I was in love with them, I told him the truth. He was that person, and his being married and being older than me didn't matter. All that mattered was that I loved him, and all I wanted from him was the time he could give me without hurting his marriage.

What I wasn't prepared for though, was that he'd tell me I wasn't really in love, I just thought I was because he was my first lover. Especially since it was obvious by the look in his eyes that he wanted to tell me he loved me too. That's why I had to write this, even if it does show that I lied to him about not having done those things before. He needed to see that my love for him didn't just start when we got into bed together. True, sex, or how I knew the sex between us would be, was one of the reasons that I fell in love with him. But, I was in love with him for over 2 years before we ever kissed, let alone made love.

Because, the reason the sex between us was so beautiful had nothing to do with what was in his pants, although I love it too. What made it beautiful was what was in his head, and even more so, what was in his heart, and those were the things I fell in love with. And, no matter how much he denies it, we both know the real reason making love together was so wonderful. That's because the love we made was the kind that only two people who love each other already can make.

Now, in case you didn't understand what all this means, I'm going to break it all down for you into simple statements :

1. I love you, and I've been love with you for more than 2 years. So stop thinking that what I feel for you is just because of the sex we had.

2. You were not my first lover, even though I lied to you and said you would be. But, if I have anything to say about it, you will be my last lover, because I don't want anyone except you.

3. You are not too old for me, and I'm not too young for you. I know you like young girls because your wife is a lot younger than you too. And, because of you, this young girl loves older men. So, I never want to hear you say you're old again, and if you do, I might have to hurt you.

4. I don't care that you're already married, because I have no reason to get married anyway. Yes, I'm jealous of your wife, but not because she's your wife. It's because I wish it was me you were coming home to every night. But, I will never interfere with your marriage, because I love you too much to cause you the kind of pain a divorce would cause you.

5. Sex isn't the only reason I love you, even if it is one of the biggest. I loved you long before we ever had sex, and I'll still love you even if we never have sex again. As I said above, it's your mind and your heart that makes the sex so good, so it's your heart and mind that I really love.

6. There's only one reason I want to make love to you, and it's that I love making love to you. It's not a weapon and it's not a bargaining chip. Because, the only thing I will ever trade sex for is more sex with you.

7. There will never be anything that is off limits in our bed, because there's almost nothing I wouldn't do if you really want it. I think I've already proven that I don't think anything we both want is dirty, and that I love doing dirty things with you. So, don't be afraid to share your fantasies with me, because I already have plenty of fantasies I want to share with you.

So that you don't think this is all give, and no take, these last 3 are for you. Besides, if I don't tell you up front what I want in return, you'll always suspect that I want things that I don't.

8. When we are in bed together, I will be a total and complete slut, and do things only true sluts will do. But, I'm your slut, and no one else's, and will never cheat on you. So, I naturally want the same kind of thing from you. Of course, you will still have to act like a husband when you are with your wife. But, except for the monthly blow jobs she gives you, I expect you to get all your sex from me. Since I will never say no to you or to anything you want, I think that's a fair trade.

9. I don't want to be your complaint department when you have problems with your wife. If she makes you sad and you want someone to make you feel better, I will be there for you. But, I will do that by giving you my love, not by letting you bitch about her all night long. So, I expect you to leave her, and all thoughts of her, at home when you're with me.

10. I know you love me, and I want to hear you say it, especially when we are alone together. I don't want to hear any more excuses about why it's wrong for us to be in love, because it isn't wrong. We love each other, and that's the only thing that matters. So, I expect the next words out of your mouth when you finish reading this, to be exactly that, that you love me too.