All Comments on 'Plans Come Together Ch. 04'

I hate to say it, but you have some bad typos in this chapter. At one point you talk about Diane doing all the work at the cabin when you meant Baliey. There are a few others, too. Since the debut of "Gamers" I've thought you were one of the very best authors here, and I still do, but these simple mistakes are ones that we all know you never make.

That said - thanks for a great story - I had figured it was going to be Kyle and Diane from the first time she appeared in the story, but even so, I had no inkling of how they were going to get there. (And - Chris STILL should have moved to the US to be with Nina!)

Great finish to your story!

5

Great story great ending

Awww. Sweet, but not saccharine. And Steve got totally Steved (sorry to any pleasant Steves, Stevens, or Stephens out there; this is a contextual neologism). Nice job.

Outstanding

A lovely story, as expected

This story was a fun read. I didn't imagine Kyle ending up with Diana. I somehow shipped him with Joanne. Bit of a redemption arc for her. She deserved more than just being used as a tool in the story.

Nice story, thanks for sharing.

Thank you for this story. Well told. Also a marvelous illustration of AspernEsling's gift for stories that wind up where they need to go, even though it doesn't seem like the characters' plan!

Couple quick notes. Ch 4 p.1 you say "With the score 9-7 for them, I huddled with Lisa." You mean Diane.

Also Ch. 4 p 3 you say "Diane ran the boat until it was low on gas. We all thanked her for spending so much of her time making sure that we enjoyed ourselves. (para) "You're having a good time, and I love seeing that." she said. "And I'll tell you the truth: you're the best guests I've had in a long time."

Here I think you mean Bailey - as she's the hostess - ran the boat until it was low on gas.

Great story. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks so much for another great coming of age story!

Love you work and your style of writing. Thank you again

Extraordinary!! A well true joy to read. Very well written engaging characters who are multi dimensional and show depth and growth. Add a great story idea that works. Love ie I said truly exceptional job of authorship

5 stars

Awesome ... love your work

Thanks for another great tale! It was a bit different, but very enjoyable. I’m looking forward to the next series already!

Didn't expect who Kyle would end with until it happened. Was really thinking it was going to be Bailey after Joanne dropped out of the running. Good story all the way through, nice bit of revenge, some good romance, and just an interesting "slice of life" for a group of friends (mostly friends) hanging out. The story was already a 5 star story but I wish I could give it a extra star just for featuring SR-71 in it, my favorite band.

Lovely finish.

Nice ending.

Sir. Your writing is simply outstanding.

Across the board.

7 stars.

FDD

Loved it

Beautiful little story, loved every minute of reading it.

I confess I wanted him to end up with Bailey, but I really enjoyed this regardless.

Thanks once again, Aspern. I thought it would be Amy, I'd hoped it would be Bailey, but when we got there I realised he wound up with the right girl. Well done.

A bit different in style than your usual, but absolutely wonderful as always.

If I may, would suggest a derivative story one for Joanne. With all that she did and had happened to her it would be nice if karma stepped in and treated her well.

I very much enjoy your writing. I am not an expert, but this common man gets and enjoys the feeling you have woven into your story. Thanks

Great story, loved it.

Love this story. I hope there's more to it, like after college and such plus hear more about where matt and lisa end up in their lives. I hope lisa learned a bit of a lesson and found someone . She was a snob but I think she realized it had cost her. Matt well maybe its fitting he faded into obscurity but wouldn't mind an update. Also like to see what happens with Jo's life. She got forged in fire persay so I think she'll come out on top. But it's a great story as it ends now and I can't help but love some of the characters and wish to see them more.

Didn’t see that ending coming and I’m usually pretty good at forecasting. I liked almost all the characters, obviously some more than others. It was refreshing to see the cast staying true to themselves, not randomly making out of character decisions, just as a plot device. I’d love to see more of them, especially Joanne, who definitely could use some good karma coming her way. The hypocrisy of guys called studs and girls called sluts for essentially the same behaviors is annoying as all get out, and always has been. I hope that stereotype eventually dies out like the dinosaurs. Thank you for sharing your talents with us.

I've read and loved your mythic history stories. I thought of you as a great storyteller and a fine writer. I didn't expect to catch a more "conventional" romance and enjoy it as much as I did. You take the fantastic and make it seem real. Now, you take the familiar and make it seem... real!

Characters I could relate to, situations I could almost remember myself, and small justices right where they needed to be. I felt good reading this.

Now for the criticism: at one point you wrote "Diane" when you surely meant "Bailey."

Hey, even "Clan of the Cave Bear" has typos!

I find myself wishing you set up Bailey to play an even bigger role with Kyle...but the ending doesn't disappoint me. You certainly threw us 2 big misdirections and you've improved that part of your game considerably. I have to say, though, that I would have suggested to make Diane more accessible by cutting back her commitments more (wouldn't have had to be tons) so it would have been easier for her and Kyle to mesh. I get why you did it (to truly appreciate the unplanned and lovely moments in a jam-packed life), but it did feel a bit like Diane's and Kyle's journey got needlessly shortened too.

I'd say on the balance, despite those limited reservations (and how you improved your obfuscation), 5.

Great! really great, thanks!

Long winding story but worth the time to read!

This is your best by a great margin, IMHO! Love it!!

Loved seeing Ontario in a story. And what a great story it was!

A very enjoyable read. You are an amazing writer and I've never been disappointed reading your stories. Thank you for all your hard work.

What a great little romance, I wasn’t sure who who Kyle was going to end up with, even at the end I wasn’t sure. Great job, thank you for entertaining all of us readers. KS

After all the mix ups I did read it through and the ending was perfect.

Awesome story!

Good story plot. Sexual encounters added to the story line. Do you really know all of the song titles and artists? May try the numbers game at the next party.

Just another brilliant story by a wonderful writer. I enjoyed it immensely, although I have to say I still much more prefer your fantasy stories - hope to see something exciting soon enough. Thank you for your work.

Always excited to read your stories, never disappointed. Looking forward to more.

That was a great read! Thanks for sharing this story.

Spent all week reading all your stories and I'm pissed. Now I'm bored and nobody else has anything posted that can compare to you. Get something going, I need my fix!!

It felt that you wanted to wrap everything up but you've left Joanne behind... Deep down she must feel like an accepted prostitute in the way that Kyle used her, dinner twice at his mums place and an Arcade Fire concert to even things up??

Very much enjoyed this story, thank you for sharing it

Poor Joanne, even the author treats her like a second class citizen. Surely dinner and a concert isn't enough, especially with how much she clearly likes Kyle and has been through. Never got any romantic spark from Kyle and Diane, seemed much more intellectual to me and like they were the endgame during the planning process which maybe should've changed during the actual writing. Still loved about 95% of it! It's just that it's much harder to articulate all of that than the 5% of meh

Great story. You are a fantastic author, your ability to make your cast members so real in the telling amazes me. You have gift for this.

I also like how you weave gaming and music into your stories, you are a man after my own heart.

Scores 5/5

Aside from Joanne tossed aside as a nobody it was great story. I wish you had included a little vignette aout Joanne getting a good mate even if it was not the MC. Well written and entertainig though.

great author/nerd master