Playboy Goes Trashy Ch. 01

VERY MUCH A PARODY... 50% SATIRICAL SARCASM... 50% OVER THE TOP TRASHY HUMOR... 100% PURE FUCKED UP FILTH... NOT REAL AT ALL... PURELY FOR PERVERTED ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY... PEACE

Episode 01 : Welcome To The New Playboy

Playboy Mansion... Holmby Hills...

"TAKE IT, BITCH! FUCK! TAKE THAT DICK! FUCK YEAH!"

"GOD!! FUCK ME, BABY! FUCK MEEEEEEEEEE!! UHHHHHHHHHHH!! GOD, YES!!"

As my dick rampages up my mother's cunt, as I playfully choke her... she fucking loves that... releasing my grip every few seconds as the intense sexual sensations overpower my loins... I grunt and groan wildly, spit flying towards my mother's perfect, sexually raging face. She fucking loves for me to spit on her too. It makes her so fucking wet!

"CHOKE ME... SPIT ON ME... USE MEEEEEEEEEE!! GOD... I FUCKING LOVE IT ALL, BABYYYYYYYYYY!! YEAHHHHHHHHHH!! UHHHHHHHHHHH!!" My mother smiles the wildest, sluttiest smile ever, so fucking tittilated by me and my domination of her. She craves my cock... and the uber pleasure it brings her awesomely perfect, statuesque body.

""GOD! BIG TITTY, WHORE! FUCKING TAKE IT!

"OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD!! I'M CUMMING AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNN!! YESSSSSSSSS!!" My mother (Kelly Madison) screams at the top of her sweet lungs. I pull out, grinning my heathen ass off, watching closely as her intensely pulsating pussy unleashes her very powerful burst of sugary sweet pussy cream, bathing my giant cock, my balls, my crotch, me... the floor... and everything in it's beautifully brutal path. Fuck!

I slam back up her cunt, fucking her senseless. Her battered pussy clamps down so tight on my mighty meat stick. I groan as loud as I ever have. HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKKK!! Mama is sitting on the edge of my home office desk, smirking lustfully at me, blowing me slutty kisses, playfully smacking me repeatedly to spur me on.

The desk almost breaks... and it's oak. The relentless force I'm fucking my favorite cunt with is driving both of us insane with non stop, thrilling glee.

I squeeze her huge right breast, cupping it and clamping down ridiculously hard on it as my dick powers in and out of her cunt, one million miles an hour... give or take... very much loving every glorious second it's sexually wrecking the pussy that brought me onto this earth.

Mama spits right into my mouth, slapping me again as she smiles, kissing me deep as my cock speeds up even faster, powerfully plowing in and out of her constantly cumming, 52 year old cunt.

I flip her over, my cock still in her twat. "DO ME, BABY! DO ME GOODDDDDDDDDDD!!" Mama grins with immense sexual intensity, so fucking turned on by our wild sexual encounter. She slaps both of her hands down on my desk and lunges forward as my cock leaves her drenched cunt and quickly enters her surprised, but very accommodating ass.

"GOD, YES! FUCK MY ASS, MY KING! FUCK IT!! YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!" She lays down on the desk, her all natural and all perfect 34FFs smushed hard into it. I grab and pull her long blonde mane, doggy style anal pounding her for thirty fucking awesome minutes straight! Taking my bitch! I own this ass!

"MY BITCH! MY ASS! TAKE IT, SLUT!" I yank hard on her flowing blonde locks.

"YES! YOUR BITCH, FOREVER, BABY! I'M YOURS, FOREVER! TAKE ME!!" Mama looks back at me, a look of pure, carnally boiling hysteria beaming lustfully across her smooth, supple skin and wide smiling, full, succulent lips.

Mama cums seven times, her pussy exploding each time with a massive wave of milky release. I keep drilling her butt, stretching it out so wide, pounding it so damn hard. I grit my teeth, trying desperately to hold out as long as possible, but the stimulation from her ever spasming anal membrane all around my massive rod is too much to handle.

I lean down onto her, biting and licking her sweaty neck like an alpha male lion in heat, roaring my way through it all as I pump her ass to overflowing with my thick, gooey manseed, glob after fat glob torpedoing out of my cock and balls into her dark bowels, smiling wide as it goes.

Mama's perfectly curvy body shakes violently and involuntarily from the intense sensations racing through her pleasantly battered bowels and pussy. She moans happily, continuously, smiling so bright up at me, her head resting contently on my desk. I kiss her several times, so in love with my favorite woman on earth. My mother, my love... my queen of fuck slut queens.

"Mmmmmmmmm. My king always does the job so very well. Making mama cum so gooddddd. Ha ha ha." Mama smiles contently, kissing my lips repeatedly, softly and lovingly caressing my face as I rub it on hers, lightly roaring. I kiss her sweaty cheek and rub my wide grinning face on hers some more.

I rub all over her tummy and up to her smashed onto the desk super breasts. My softening cock slowly slides outta her gaped out butt, causing our combined fluids to come pouring out onto the red carpet beneath us.

"Thank you, baby. Mama needed that. Mmmmmmmmm." We keep kissing and grinding on each other, post cum.

"My slutty mom has the best pussy and ass a son could ever hope to use." I laugh, softly kissing all over her right cheek as she laughs and grins as well.

If it's possible to be turned on by your mom more than I am by mine... well... it ain't possible.

Sup, peeps. Get ready to be tittilated and offended... Possibly both at the same time. This is my story about my life as the new king of Playboy. The Trashy King Of Playboy. Yeah... that Playboy. Formerly Hugh Hefner's Playboy... now mine. I bought the Playboy Mansion... and a few other properties we'll delve into shortly... as well as the rest of the Playboy empire. Magazine. Website. The name and brand. All of it. Why?... Well... Cause I fucking felt like it! (Cocky smirk as I kick back and blaze up)

I wanted to put a different spin of the Playboy universe. I wanted to make it dirty and filthy... or trashy... real trashy. No more sophisticated pretense here. Dirty, nasty, hardcore heathen filth. God... I love this country. Long live trashy hedonism. From old, horny Playboy to young, even hornier... and trashy loving... Playboy. Oh yeah... it's naughty go time, bitches.

Relax and chill... and enjoy the trashy ride...

Playboy Offices... Playboy Way... Hollywood

"Hello, Milton."

"Hi...ummmm... Kim."

"Did you forget what day it is?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's tighty whitey day here at the office."

"Oh... no. I... uh..."

"Miltonnn... are you shy?"

"Yeah (bashful snicker)... I guess I am." (Lowering his head, timidly smiling)

"Go change. It wouldn't be fair to all of the other guys if you were the only one not wearing your tighty whiteys with your cock hanging out."

One of our youngest employees, 18 year old Milton Green heads off to the bathroom to change. My darling wife Kim Kardashian keeps things running smoothly at the office. She has a way of convincing everyone to play ball. Her own, unique, Kim K way. When you're the most beautiful creature on earth, you tend to get people to listen to you. And when you're married to the perverted owner... they listen even more. (Cocky grin... puffing away on some sweet, sweet ganjah)

We instituted special days at the office to keep things loose and fun. Today is tighty whitey day. Kim liked that idea very much. All the guys wear nothing but tighty whiteys. No other clothes. Dicks out too.

I'm not an underwear guy... I usually never wear them... but I do enjoy wearing a pair of tighty whiteys once in awhile with my big ass dick flopping around. It's good for your ego. Looks cool too. The ladies seem to enjoy all the guy's dicks on display, no matter the size, so it keeps the moral high. Leads to some freaky office fun as well so it's a win/win.

Five minutes later, Milton's back in Kim's office... and Kim's jaw has dropped. The short, skinny nerd with the black, horn rimmed glasses has a dick that is beyond belief. That... and his amazing math skills... are why I hired him. It's almost as big as he is. Twelve and a half inches long. Kim just stares and shakes her head in disbelief. Her eyes widen with impassioned intrigue. She's a big dick fiend so she's quite happy at the present moment with my hire.

Milton tries to cover himself. He's shy. Kim puts a stop to that real quick. "What are you doing, Milton? No need for that." She walks over to him and moves his hands away from his extremely large, hanging meat stick.

"Please don't cover that. It's way too nice to be covered up. OK?" Kim gives my boy Milton a very approving smile. He grins back and nods, trying to relax around my world famous super goddess wife.

"Too bad I already have an assistant. I'm sure you would make a really helpful one." Kim playfully rubs his shoulder, giving him a mischievous wink. Milton just smiles, nods, and shyly lowers his head again. He's not used to so much sexy attention from such a sexy woman. He gets in a quick cleavage peek at Kim's bountiful chest. Her tight, white silk blouse is unbuttoned to below her ample breasts... no bra necessary. Just smooth, silky flesh. True perfection at it's sexiest and finest.

"I think I might try and squeeze you in with Spence (The King Of Queens) and have two assistants. Two assistants with such big, beautiful dicks. Yum." Kim turns up the flirtatious banter with little Milton. He just smiles and tries to not get hard. Still trying to cover himself.

"Do you need me for anything, Kim?" Milton shyly asks. "I'm supposed to be helping out in the accounting office."

"Don't you worry about them, cutie pie. They'll be fine without you. And yes, by the way. I do need some help with something." Kim leans back in her very comfy desk chair and spreads her smooth, supple legs. Her gray sequined mini, mini skirt rides perfectly up her deliciously curvy hips. Milton gets a magnetic eyeful of her landing strip topped, super succulent pussy. He gulps, staring hard at the amazingly sexy sight.

"Eat my pussy, Milton. Will you, please?" Kim asks so nicely, smiling sweetly. God, she's beautiful. Milton is transfixed on the awesome sight in front of him... and his cock is too. It immediately hardens, drawing Kim's full, fixated attention. Her eyes widen with very happy delight. Her smile gets even smilier.

Milton just walks over in a trance and kneels on the floor in front of my wife and dives in. Kim closes her eyes and keeps smiling, and enjoys our little dude's pussy eating skills.

"Mmmmmm... very good, Milton. Very, very good. Mmmmmmmm." Kim licks her lusciously full lips as Milton sucks hard on her throbbing, dirty dancing clit. His tongue laps at it as he sucks harder and harder on it. Kim writhes contently in her seat, now watching her fantastically fabulous cunt being worked over by our young, nerdy math wiz.

He sucks on Kim's moist pussy, licking up and down the slit as he does, sucking harder, licking faster and faster, still in a Kim K trance.

"God... how did you learn to eat pussy so good, Milton? Mmmmmmmm. Yeahhhhhh."

"My mother likes for me to eat hers so I wanted to get good at it. I watched a few pornos." He snakes his tongue deep into Kim's welcoming pink folds. They grasp that long tongue as it wiggles wildly, lapping at her pleasurably pulsating pink walls.

"Lucky mom. Mmmmmmmm." Kim play with Milton's brown hair as she feels her impending orgasm racing out. She grinds her pussy on his face. Milton speeds up, licking, lapping, and sucking wildly on the sweetest pussy ever in existence.

"UHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Kim floods Milton's mouth with an avalanche of milky pussy cream. He sucks it all down, licking every delicious drop up as Kim's constantly convulsing cunt grinds and pumps, feeding him with pure pussy gold. He sucks and sucks, drinking down the delightfully delicious nectar, loving the divine taste of every single drop.

"That's was great, Milton. Thank you. Mmmmmmmm. So good." Kim winks at him with a big, beautiful smile on those glistening, creamy, light brown lips.

"You're welcome."

"So...do you fuck your mother? Or just eat her pussy?" Kim asks inquisitively.

"Yeah... (Holding his head down shyly)... I fuck her too." He looks up timidly, hoping Kim doesn't think he's too weird.

She smiles approvingly, softly rubbing his left cheek. "I think that's so hot. My mom's such a slut. I love fucking her with my strapon. All of my sisters do too. And James... (Kim giggles)... he lovesssssss fucking her... and all of the rest of us. His mom too. And grandmother. And... Everyone!" She giggles again. "It keeps a family close, I think. Especially if you have such a gorgeous cock like you do." Kim keeps smiling sweetly. Milton grins too, finally relaxing around my absolutely wonderful wife.

"You should bring her over to the house. I'm sure we could all have a very nice time together. We just remodeled the new grotto. I'd love to show it to you... and her." Another sexy giggle from my uber sexy wife.

"OK. That would be awesome!" Milton gets excited.

"I'm sure it would be, sweet little man." Kim rubs his face again with a super sexy smile and naughty wink.

Meanwhile... Back at the Playboy Mansion...

"Daddy... I got some real juicy gossip for ya." My second newest wife... behind Billie Eilish... the one and only Cardi B intrigues me with her naughty news as I take a leak. She's on Kim and I's bed.

"Oh yeah?" Ahhhhhhh. Nothing like a good strong piss.

"Mmm hmm. My sources tell me that Meghan Markle had an abortion the other day." Cardi smirks confidently as she files her nails. She knows she did good. Real damn good. She has a couple of jobs at Playboy. One of which is doing a gossip column in the magazine and a gossip update for the website. She's really fucking good at her job... all of em.

I walk out of the bathroom with a happy grin. She blows me a kiss, still filing her extra long red nails. "Where did you hear that?" I ask with a happy smirk as I move in next to her on the very large, green and gold silk sheets covered, revolving bed.

"I got my sources, daddy." She laughs naughtily, all sexy and shit. Devilishly divine smirk on that perfect, brown face.

My maid... one of em... ebony adult model goddess Jalande Jaguar saunters in, massive ebony jugs bouncing enticingly, and cozys up to my fourteen inch dick hanging out of my tighty whiteys... yeah... I'm headed to the office shortly.

"Mmmmmmmm... Daddy's dick looks so damn yummy in dem tighty whiteys. Suck dat shit, Jalande." Cardi directs, licking all around those delightfully luscious, cherry red lips. Jalande happily obeys, licking every soft inch, then playfully chewing on each one. Oh yeahhhhhh. She sucks my mushroom crown in and laps perfectly at the sensitive underside as she sucks. So damn goodddddd. Ohhhhhh... I love my black maids.

Cardi pinches hard and violently shakes my right pierced nipple, shaking it so damn fast and hard. God, I almost cum just from that. Fucking sexy bitch!

Cardi hits the switch, and the huge bed starts slowly turning. I dig revolving beds. Add in the huge mirror on the ceiling and it's retro trashy erotica 101 here at the Mansion. We did a great job remodeling the place. We kept the basic, retro slutty vibe, but kicked it up several, trashy notches.

I groan in utter ecstasy as my cock works it's way slowly down Jalande's throat, and my hard as steel nipples get roughly manhandled by my extra gorgeous, very kinky wife. Holy fuck! Living the lusty life of the Playboy King.

As Jalande bobs away on my massive white rod, slobbering all over it, Cardi leans over and feeds me her awesomely firm and perky titties. I chew, bite, suck, lick, lap, motorboat, and molest em both for fifteen awesome minutes. She's got such sexy, brown tits. Heavily enhanced, but perfect. Her chocolate nips taste so fucking delicious as I chew em and suck em ravenously, delighting in Cardi's very naughty moans.

"Daddy love dem titties. Yeahhhhhh! Suck em, daddy. Suck em rough! Gonna ride that huge white dick til it's raw, daddy! Mmmmmm Mmmmmmmm!" Cardi giggles, licking all over those luscious, red lips as I keep up my intense titty sucking, both bodacious boobs getting equally rough and loving care.

Cardi rides me rough, cowgirl, smiling at me, blowing me real slutty kisses as her very, very talented twat vice grips and erotically massages every fat inch of my happy white rod as it pummels relentlessly up it. That big ass bouncing wildly as it bounces off of my crotch every naughty time she slams down on my cock. I just grin my white heathen ass off and slap and squeeze those awesomely large, super firm, brown jugs.

"SHIT!! CUMMIN' DADDY!!" Cardi screams, squirting all over my dick and crotch. I grin so wide, soaking in every amazing, dick working second of that pussy bathing all fourteen fat inches of white dick shoved up her beautifully nasty, brown twat.

"Do my ass, daddy!" Cardi jumps off of me, pussy cream dripping out of her delicious, thumping twat. I lick it off her pulsating pussy lips while I slap that fucking ass, making her stick that long ass tongue of pure carnal perfection out with a naughty smile and beautiful booty wiggle. I love Cardi's fucking tongue!!

"Take dat ass, daddy!"

I shove up that super phat ass, making Carid almost jump off the bed. Her eyes are so wide as she takes in all fourteen inches at one time. "FUCK... YEAHHHHHHHH!! GIVE ME ALL DAT WHITE FUCKIN' DICK, DADDY!! ALL DAT SHIT!"

Cardi's horny wish is my happy command. I slam every fat fucking inch repeatedly up her tight butt, slapping it over and over as she shakes it for me, dirty dancing it all over my white dick. Fuck yeah! I slap that shit again! Harder!

Cardi looks back at me, tongue out and smiling. She wiggles her tongue at me, knowing how much I love it. I lean in, fucking her ass with relentless power and aggression and suck her damn tongue for five minutes straight. I'm obsessed with that perfect fucking tongue... and she fucking knows it. She's always happily teasing me with it.

Jalande sucks my fat nuts perfectly as I destroy my wife's thick ass, driving all the fucking way up it over and over and over. She keeps squirting all over Jalande and her 38K ebony titties as Jalande lathers and sucks my white balls better than anyone ever has. She slides a finger up my ass and fucks it as she sucks on my hanging balls. Oh shit!

I pump Cardi's perfect brown butt full... and beyond... of my thick, creamy load. The sensations racing through my loins at that moment... oh my God! Between cumming in my wife's ever shaking butt and Jalande perfectly finger fucking my butt and sucking off my fat balls, I can't stop groaning with sheer delight as I suck off Cardi's dancing tongue and we kiss so fucking passionately. She's constantly moaning from her bellowing bowels being filled with warm, thick cum as well. I'm also pulling her phat brown nipples and roughly squeezing those big ass, super firm brown titties for dear life too.

As we calm down, chill and keep kissing... and I keep titty molesting... and Jalande rubs those massive black breasts all over my very happy balls and ass... things are going pretty smoothly around the office...

"Yeah... you won't believe how big his cock is, Kelly. It's bigger than Spence's." Kim's talking to mom on the phone. "I almost let him take me on my desk, but I kept calm." Kim giggles into the phone.

"Well... I'll definitely have to see for myself. Maybe I could convince James to let them triple fuck me while you film it for the site. And you could join in, of course." Mom giggles back.

"God... that's sounds hot. Yum." Kim likes that idea. "So, how are things down in the lab?"

"Very good. Howard keeps staring at my tits, but I don't mind. I let him feel me up earlier. He does have very soft hands. He's done a fantastic job with the androids. They look just like them. Chyna looks so much like Joanie it'll blow your mind. I know James will be so happy. He misses her."