by VaRiverWriter
I don't like where the thing with Rob's look-alike looks to be going, but I loved the video chat. PLEASE DON'T LET BOBBY CHEAT ! ! ! I love this couple!!!
I agree with someone above about the POV shifts, easy to follow and the story flows smoothly. I guess I'm sentimental too so I hope the guys stay together despite the trials and temptations of college life. I'm looking forward to the next installments, especially the role of the doppelganger. Keep up the fine work, and thanks for the entertainment.
I read both your stories of Bobbie and Rob in one go and so happy to have discovered your awesome story and writing. I love angst but really hope there is no break for them.
I cried when Rob explained the presence of his silver ring, and his "promise" that someday he and Bobby would marry. Keep Bobby faithful. He can "look" but don't let him stray. He can remember how hurt he was when Rob denied their love that previous fall. It is so great to read that Rob sends his love, and I look forward to the joyful sex and reunion when they get together again!
I have unfinished stories of my own I should be working on, but I am addicted to this ongoing one. I won't even try to think of where you will be taking this but looking forward to the next installment.
Once again...A GREAT *5* STAR JOB!
The pov change shifts were easy to follow. I hope that Bobby doesn't fall for the guy who looks like Rob. Fingers Crossed.
You know exactly how to keep your reading audience coming back for more. Now you've opened the door with Rob's lookalike and it's a bit worrisome that Bobby might have trouble resisting this new fellow.
Keep up your great storytelling, Bobby. You've outdone yourself with chapter 4.
Cliff
I agree that the narrator shift wasn't too hard to follow, Sometimes, just putting the name at the beginning of the section or using asterisks are other ways of doing it. A good story so far and I look forward to reading more.
It wasn't hard to follow the POV shifts at all. Some other authors have used the group of asterisks to indicate a shift of some nature. Another way to do it might be to give an introductory statement like " In Williamsburg, Robbie .... " etc.
Keep it coming. Great work man!