All Comments on 'Poly - Swinger - Wife'

of emotional turmoil to go through for no good reason. But at least good old gay Ray the mug is there to pick up the pieces. Well it's always said that a woman's best friend is a gay guy.

These are the conversations the everybody SHOULD be having. I know that monogamy is the societal norm, but I can't help feeling that it's unnatural.

I'm probably more sympathetic than not to the 'lifestyle' choices. However, what comes across here is a struggle to come to grips with an inner turmoil (as another comment noticed).

This, for example:

"I'm a swinger because I like having sex for the sake of having sex."

This reminds me of Robbie Williams' comment on having sex with a groupie: 'It's like masturbating with someone else there.' Judging by the stories/ comments I read about swinging, at least some of the participants de-fang the experience emotionally. They neuter it, describe it as 'playing'. At that level, it would be too barren an experience for me. But, if some people are content with that, I wonder about the purpose of the rationalizations.

Which brings us to the emotional involvement dimension, which the author hyphenates as in-love (I'm not sure about what this is supposed to mean). The author writes:

"And I am a wife because I am married to a man who truly wants the best for me."

Interesting .. best for 'me'. Me. Me. He gives me what I want, therefore he is good.

All of it tucked behind the final rationalization about being unique and special. A serial murderer is no doubt unique and special. I don't know what that is supposed to justify.

So, while I don't have a moral issue with the life-style choice, the rationale look like more of a cover-up than a nail-the-truth explanation. The author needs to dig deeper.

I thank you for the time and effort to give a look inside your life. The only flaw is that the level of acceptance and TOTAL lack of friction seems, to me, to have been glossed over.

I can't imagine a life such as this without some raised voices and tears at the start.

Still, gave you a 5 for telling your truth and "lifting the curtain".

And if it’s not, then I feel sorry for both Ray and PSW. Ray, because he was emasculated on his wedding day. PSW because she doesn’t understand what a husband is all about. She says she loves him(I read doubt it), but she sure as hell doesn’t respect him! If he does have Bi tendencies, she’s certainly reinforced her disrespect towards him. Ray might not realize this,but it’s true...he’s beyond a beta male...he’s a true omega. They should have gotten married, because there is no equality in their relationship. She uses him. He allows himself to be used. Just unfortunate and sad!

I've asked this question before and never received a satisfactory answer, Why get married at all? Why drag a man down to your level and make him clean up guy? Stay single and fuck whom ever you want or at least until your triple cock tail forces you to stop. I really do find you all sorts of disgusting, but not because you are promiscuous almost beyond belief, but because you are married doing this. Even a un-married (and never will) guy like myself recognizes the commitment, you obviously do not and never have. Just a side question if you care to answer, Does your husband have to ability to step out and get some strange or are you the only one with that privilege?

@SemperSolus0198;

Ray and I are each other's comfy slippers. We're each other's constants. We've been together so long that it would feel weird if the other weren't there. I have sex with other men for two reasons. I like having sex with multiple men, and Ray feels loved by me when he can watch me have sex with other men.

Ray has been dating Amy and her brother, Chuck, for just over six months now. And I'm glad he found people he could enjoy being with. Yes, Amy has been with Randal, and a lot of other men I get with, but I think Amy and Chuck actually love Ray. And I know he loves them.

Any is the kind of woman that Ray has always been attracted to, but when I see him with Chuck, that's when I see him happiest. If Chuck wasn't Gay, I'd go for him. But at least he loves Ray and treats him well.

We may not have a traditional marriage, Ray and I, but we're both happy.

@Poly

You said your "husband" likes to sit there while you get pounded flat by other guys, have you ever just sat there while he pounds out a couple of girls? Have you ever arranged something like that for him? Also one other thing i've been thinking about, if he is a willing cuckold, do you know any guys that have been turned into forced cuckolds? And if you do, how many of them, or do you know of any that have killed themselves because of their situation? Also, i would find another man wearing my "comfy slippers" almost as disgusting as him expecting me to wear his underwear. Life humiliates us all, what posses your husband to accept it from you?

@SemperSolus0198:

I have never watched Ray with more than one woman, yet I have seen him with a woman and a man. I enjoy watching, too.

I have never known a man who killed himself, because he was cuckolded or for any reason. I do know several men who are willingly cucked, though. And they are some of the happiest men I have ever known. Each of the husbands knows Randal, and Randal has been with each of their wives. Randal is my main boyfriend. And Ray has loved seeing each of the wives with Randal.

You can not force a man to be a cuckold. You can cuck him without his knowledge, but that isn't forcing him to be a cuckold. Just because a wife has sex with another man, that doesn't make the husband a cuck. It makes him the husband of a cheatng wife. And there is a difference.

You can no more force a man to be a cuckold than you can force submission. Each is a choice. Submission is a gift.

What possesses my husband to accept me having sex with other men? It's what makes him feel most loved by me. He wants me to have sex with other men as much as I do. It's what thrills him, turns him on, and best of all, makes him feel most loved by me.

From reading this, another of your essays, and your introduction...well into your 50s now you are basically here sharing and writing all of this to justify having spent your entire adult life as a thrill seeking whore. Married to a gay dude for 30 years.

If it seems like I am being judgemental? I am. You are putting it all out here for everyone to see and get feedback on. Ypu got it.

Congratulations on spreading your legs for hundreds (or thousands) of dudes "that you are in love with" having unprotected sex over the past 3 decades.

Yuck. You must be a veritible petri dish for the STD laboratories.

Look. Nothing wrong with living a carefree SINGLE life and having all kinds of fun. Safely. I did. For a while. Then like most others...I matured and got tired of all of the meaningless hookups and emotionless sex. It took me 3 or 4 years. You've never gotten there have you? Instead you cover it all in the trappings of "love" and continue on 30 plus years into your rationalizations for fucking men who you simply use as human dildos.

Trying to justify and pass off what you and Ray have as some kind of great model for happy marriages to be widely accepted and followed? Just comes off like crazy rationalizations from the used up neighborhood slut that everyone laughs about. Every town has one it seems like.

Here is what I see. Two people got married who never should have. Circumstances dictated it. Like your families, church, or culture expected you to marry. You were probably a good church girl virgin. Ray is gay. Also has issues with sex imprinted on him by his parents. Didn't probably want to marry a woman. But back then didn't have a choice. Kept his sexuality a secret. Did not want to have sex with you period. So was more than willing to let another man fuck you on your wedding night. And you not only accepted that...but embraced it. And now...by your own admissions you treat each other like comfortable shoes?! Wow. What a love story. While you both slut around. You with whoever you "fall in love with" who has a big dick, and him in whatever situation will get him fucked in the ass at the end of the night. I simply see two people well into their middle age who were too lazy 20 years ago to put an end to their farce of a marriage and move on with having better and more fulfilling lives. What you all have is not healthy and would never work functionally with more than a hundredth of 1 percent of the population. Ever. There is a reason why divorce statistics are what they are for the swinger lifestyle. Let alone the mish mash of 3 or 4 different lifestyles you all have going on.

I comment on stories occasionally. But I read lots of thing on here and just keep going. Normally. But every once in a while something strikes me as just batshit crazy and I have to make a comment. Your story. This. Yup. Some fucked up kind of crazy.

And I am just saying what most people here are thinking. But hey. You shouldn't care about the opinions of anonymous people on the internet. Since you guys are so happy.

Grammatical errors ruin the story if there us one. Any word processing software could check Grammer. Author might do well to get one!

This was a fun.. entertaining.. and educational story.. I truly enjoyed it

Respectfully recommend rewriting in conjunction with commonly accepted patterns of English composition.

It’s amazing to me, that on a website which is really geared to people who enjoy sex and exploring their own interests, just how judgmental so many people are. If it isn’t your thing, why do people read stories that piss you off? You just cannot avoid the haters in this world. Live and let live people. Not everyone has to experience life only as you do.

This story… thank you. Your words have taught me a lot about swinging and polyamory. In particular, after reading your words, I now know what “compersive” is (my phone spell check AI doesn’t recognize the word) and that I am compersive! Wow. So much about my own difficulties with sex & relationships are now better explained via that word. This story also explains well a lot about swinging, polyamory, bisexuality, communication, honesty, and managing these issues. It is interesting and in my case, others’ also, necessary. I last wrote about swinging over a decade ago and I wish I had been able to read this story way back then. Wow. Thanks again for writing this and sharing it. Great work!

Thank you for writing this. I'm in a poly marriage, and I know that some people can't understand how I can be with two men, and how I can love them both. Poly is not for everyone, but it is for those who are committed to the relationship that it forms. The questions asked of you were great as were your answers.