All Comments on 'Poly - The Way Forward'

I don't claim to be the most knowledgeable or experienced on this subject, but I've known a few people who have gone down this road. It seems great going in, but it never works in the long term. A monogamous relationship is hard enough to maintain at times, start throwing in multiple people's jealousy, fears and insecurities and it's like a circus juggling act. And just like a juggling act the ball gets dropped eventually. Besides, I am more of a "what's mine is mine" kind of guy.

You can just as easily be monogamous and choose to not have children. In fact, since the advent of multiple methods of procreation control that simply did not exist before the last 75 years or so, it has never been easier to NOT have children.

In my opinion, polygamy in any form invites multiple stressors into a relationship that do not exist in a monogamous ones. You mentioned some like jealousy and misunderstandings, but there are also some of the same failures that exist in monogamy. You have access to multiple partners, but that doesn't stop you from being attracted to more. At what point do your existing partners become annoyed or offended that you can't stop adding new people to the mix?

I can't speak for everyone, but I will say that I have had friends who either were into swinging or polygamy. Many times they tried to get me and/or my wife involved. We chose to stay monogamous and recently celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. I can't recall any of them making it past nine or ten. Obviously that is just an anecdotal blip given how many marriages and relationships fail, but I still believe that we as a species still do best with monogamous or serial monogamous relationships.

Being married to someone who is the love of my life but for whom one man is not enough to love (she has a heart with many rooms), I would say it may work, but only for a small percentage of the world population.

Many stars, because the story provides food for thought.

Keep up the good work!

I do believe Tara has some valid points but it really depends on those in the relationship.

My wife and I had a poly a decade ago, a triad of MFM and it lasted three years. After three years she decided to end it with the other M as he was getting too controlling. Now, she's 100% disabled and can no longer hold a job, do housework or have a regular sex life. I am overwhelmed with being her full-time caretaker and holding down my full-time job and keep the household running.

When we were married, our vows did not contain a promise of "none other" or having to be faithful. However, I do take the part seriously of "in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part."

In our case, with the right woman, a poly relationship might be the answer for us. Someone who is very giving and knows how to take care of the disabled, can run the household, and someone who can and wants to satisfy my sexual needs.

I have identified such a lady, a friend, wanting to participate in a poly triad with us long-term. She is a younger woman (19 years younger) who has very stunning beauty and is a licensed caretaker. However, my wife needs some convincing as she doesn't like to share me with another woman. My wife knows I am stretched too thin so she's agreed to have this younger woman live with us but thinks she is way too pretty. The younger woman wants stability, love and to have a baby. Her previous relationships have stifled her and she's never really been able to explore and develop her own life interests and hobbies.

Certainly, I'm not complaining but we will see how this goes... I think it will all hinge on my wife's ability to deal with jealousy and how the relationship between the two women forms. I'd like to see a older-younger sister relationship form and that seems to be their intention as well.

My partner and I live an alternative lifestyle. We found out when we wanted kids, getting married was essential or advantages for boring yet important things like insurance, taxes, mortgages etc etc etc etc...

When you are married, each spouse has certain rights (one of the most important is the right to a share of the roof over your head should you split, unless you are renting). If you are in a poly relationship and is not one of the legally married party, you are likely not to have such rights (when it goes wrong) and if you happen to be the stay at home party, you need to not only find a new home but also a new job (practical thought how are you going to explain your career break? No clue how you are going to sue for “alimony” but you will be entitled to child support if you did have a child)

We are fine with different partners (BDSM or otherwise) or friends with benefits but not any form of poly relationship because there will always be a party with significantly disadvantaged rights and that is ultimately not fair to that party. Plus I would have no idea how to explain such an arrangement to the kids and I have a difficult enough time explaining to them why The Fifty Shades of Grey is a terrible representation of BDSM

I believe it would be a net positive for the world if it was polyandry; polygyny not so much.

Monogamous married sex tends to get routine, lustless and less frequent. Monotonous monogamy is the major cause of sexual ennui that invites nonconsensual adultery with two thirds of husbands and half of wives cheating. Couples try to spice it up marital sex again with some success with toys, games, flirting, etc. More daring couples try consensual non-monogamy lifestyles like open marriages, swinging, shared/hot wife, polyamory and other variations. Basically, monogamy is a myth and life for the majority of married couples.

skanks wanting lots of dick. end of stange dick. sorry, this idea won't wash. Blech.