All Comments on 'Poolside'

I like your story,i had a similar experience.gail and i worked together, i would drive her home,we would occasionally get together, go to a bar, eat out, but friends.Herv parents had a beach house,they invited me, swimming, fishing, the whole deal.The next beach was pristine, deserted,so Gail said,lets get all our gear off,o.k.Now Gail is a rather large girl,same age,i watched as her tits and arse wobbled into the surf,my cock stirred, so i went straight to the water, hoping she didnt see.We swam for awhile,then back to the beach,lay down,she asked for the sun screen, would i put it on her back.No problem, i watched as her arse jiggled, my cock going hard.I lay down,she said i will put some on your back,she did and said roll over i will do your front,my cock was hard, i said no its all right, she insisted, i rolled over, my cock pointing to the sky.She started on my chest, then lower, then straddled me and said Rob we both know we ,want it and she lowered her pussy down over my cock,warm and wet.I grabbed her hips and fucked up into her her tits bouncing,she groaning as i released my cumm up into her tight pussy.I stayed hard as she ground down onto my cock and finally orgasmed.She rolled off,i went for her pussy again,licking,her just fucked pussy, tasting my cumm, tasting her,until she was ready to cumm again and i got between her legs and plonked my hard cock into her and fucked her for all i was worth.She came and so did i a second time.For the next 4 days i filled her mouth and pussy until we were both exhausted.When we went back to work,she would tease all day,i fucked her in the storeroom,she blew me in the ladies and in the car on the way home from work.Then she got transferred and i never fucked her again.I found out that she got married and had 2 kids.Oh well it was great while it lasted.

This was quite interesting. I liked how innocent it was, most of the storyline. I had TWO problems with the story. The first problem was that the character of Eric was not developed enough. I can't remember if you told us what he looked like. The second problem was the Ending: you made Danielle act as if what she and Eric did was just a 1-time thing, and if that is truly the case, it makes me dislike her as a person. Using her best friend like that? Come on! (You could have saved this ending if you actually had Danielle kiss Eric on the LIPS before they went back to the car.) But I'm willing to think that I just misunderstood these things, and I'll probably read it again to see if I missed anything. Aside from that, great story. -- April Smith sucks.

Hey, it's me again. I feel like I misjudged this story a bit the last time I commented on this.

I still say you should've given Eric's character more development. You didn't seem to care about describing his appearance as much as you did with Danielle.

But I feel like taking back what I said about the Ending: when I first read this story, it seemed like Danielle turned out to be an uncaring user because I assumed she wanted this to be a 1-time thing, since she might not be going back to that pool again....BUT now, I understand that Danielle and Eric don't need the pool to have more "flings" together. They can do it at home if he or she wants.

I also found it offensive (at first) that you made Eric into a bit of a goofball and Danielle laughs AT him all the time, which I consider to be rude....BUT now I take that back, because I realized Danielle doesn't *cause* the things that make her laugh at Eric, he causes them on his own, it's just part of his quiet+unsocial+shy personality.

Plus, it's not like Danielle's taking amusement at Eric's negative emotions. So I'm actually able to enjoy the dynamic interaction between Eric and Danielle, more-so than the last time I read this.

Maybe you were trying to tell a story about a quiet/shy and *inexperienced* man getting to hook up with an outgoing/promiscuous nice woman, and about the woman actually TEACHING the man to be more confident during sex...When I think about the story like that, it's very fun to read, and I'd really like to see a SEQUEL, with Danielle seducing Eric again their hometown, continuing her "confidence lessons".

Final Verdict

- Innocent

- Danielle is sexy

- Eric/Danielle interaction is fun

- I still think you could've actually had Danielle kiss Eric on the LIPS before they went back to the car. All lovers should be okay with doing that, even if they're not a serious couple.

All in all, a 3-Star story.

~William (AprilSmithSucks)

In English literature, noone has asked anyone anything if there is not a ? ending the sentence.