Porn Star's Daughter Ch. 10

I giggled, thinking back to how I thought that the video didn't do his cock justice, now that I had seen the real thing.

"And it was mine," she said. "He was everything a girl could possibly want in a man, including a penis that could give me a lifetime of pleasure. It was everything a pervert like me could possibly want.

"But then I got cocky," she said, her tone of voice shifting. "There's a part of women that we all know about, but none of us want to admit. We all want to be the envy of other women. We want to be the one in the red dress that turns all the heads at the parties. We all want to be the queen.

"Think about it," she said, and her pointed comment took me by surprise. "When you are in a room, within three seconds you know what the pecking order is among the women. You do, don't you." It was a statement, rather than a question.

"Yes," I said. She was right. Being invisible my entire life, I knew that my position on the totem pole fell somewhere between leprosy and the chewing gum under the desk. I knew that the moment I walked into any room where there were several women. Even at my own birthday party, where my mother had given me lingerie and wanted me to try it on - where I would have definitely been the Queen for a moment - I couldn't bring myself to do it. In order to be the Queen, you can't just act the part. You actually need to be the Queen.

"See?" she asked. "Every girl knows it. Well, I knew it. Being the girl next door isn't glamorous, so I felt strangled because I had all of this... specialness inside of me. I was willing to do things, wanted to do things, did do things, but nobody knew. Nowadays being that way would have gotten me all kinds of attention, but back then I knew my place.

"At the time, being with your father and having that gorgeous dick all to myself wasn't enough. I wanted to have everyone know that I had the best dick to play with, and it was mine to do with as I pleased. I wanted everyone to see his dick and be completely shocked, and then they would know that it was mine.

"And that's why..." she said, but then stopped suddenly.

Why? Why what? What happened next?

"So, I used to be far more willing to share your father, but it turns out there are limits," she said. The tone of her voice flattened and cooled considerably as she shifted the subject. I wanted to pry further, ask more questions, but it was painfully clear that she had revealed all that she was willing on that train of thought.

I wanted to scream. Did he find someone better? But who could have been better than Tracy? He bobbed around like a little boy at Christmas when he knew she was at his front door, and it was obvious from the look in his eyes on the video that she held something special for him.

My eyes flicked to the screen as I saw a short-haired brunette that I'd not seen before struggling to get past the halfway point with my father's cock. It looked like that girl was definitely hitting her limits.

"But things change, too," she said. "At the time, I couldn't be with him any longer, but that didn't mean that I wanted to break up with him. I know he didn't want us to break up, either, but there are times when fate intervenes and there's nothing you can do about it."

I had no idea what she was talking about. It was all vague and nebulous, and she was talking in circles. I started to realize that she wasn't going to give me any more details, either.

"And oh boy, did I miss his wonderful cock," she sighed. It felt like she was changing the topic back to more comfortable territory for her. "You've seen it in action, so I'm sure you know what I mean."

I looked at the dildo and thought about how quickly I had come to feel possessive over it. "I guess so," I said.

"Actually," she said, thoughtfully, "maybe you don't. What you don't realize, Shannon, is that most men aren't built that way. Most men are half that size, and nowhere near as big around. I looked for almost twenty years to find someone even close to your father's beautiful dick, and never found it.

"When you're twenty years old, you tend to think that you've experienced enough in life to have it all figured out," she said, philosophically. "You think that everything you've experienced is all there is to experience, that what you have is plentiful and easy to find. You take things for granted, because you can't imagine a possibility that it will be gone for good.

"But then you realize that sometimes, when you lose something, it is gone for good," she said, her tone changing. She was more thoughtful now. I wasn't entirely sure she was really talking to me, but really more reflecting upon herself.

"I was dumb enough to think that because I had met your father so young, that I would meet many more like him," she said, wistfully. "When... when we broke up, I wasn't as bothered as I should have been, if I'm completely honest. Sure, I thought that I loved him, but I was looking forward to trying out new things and new people anyway.

"What I didn't realize, though, was that your father is special," she said. "Not just because of his fantastic cock, Shannon, but because of who he is as a man. He is one of the sweetest, most responsible people I've ever met, and one of the kindest. I never understood that I had the total package, and in my arrogance I thought I was pretty enough that I could get any guy I wanted. Maybe even a better guy. I can't believe how wrong I was.

"Right now, I don't know if I was actually in love with him at the time or not," she said. "But I should have been. If I'd known then what I know now, I would have never taken him for granted. I would have fought for him. I would probably have failed, but I should have at least tried."

I was staggered. I still had no idea what had happened that broke them up. What could have been so bad, so terrible? What on earth could have been so irreparable then, but no longer a problem now? I just didn't understand.

"So I spent my twenties not wanting to be tied down, chasing the next dick," she spat. There was more than a little undercurrent of hostility in her voice now. "Over time I started to realize that I had made a horrible, terrible mistake. I had the perfect man, the perfect cock, right in my hands - so to speak - and I didn't even try to keep him.

"In one sense, though, it was all his fault," she said, shocking me. "He had set a standard that no one else could ever meet. I'll tell you this right now, Shannon, for all the men I've slept with, no one has ever come close to giving me what I needed - every single time.

"Having sex with Rod is like disconnecting your brain from the rest of the world," she said. "Nothing else exists except you, him, and that wonderful magic cock. It takes up everything you can sense and experience. Nothing else exists, nothing else matters. When you hold it in your hands, or take it in your mouth, or - oh god - when he's inside your pussy, there is nothing else. And it's like that every time he fucks you.

"I had that whenever I wanted," she said, and I thought I heard her voice crack. Then, with a little more force and intensity, she said, "I thought that that was what sex was. All the time. I thought every man could do that. It turned out I was wrong. Dead wrong. It wasn't just the cock, it was the man. It wasn't just the man, either, it was the cock.

"What was left was just an empty space waiting to be filled, emotionally and physically," she said. "Most women focus on the emotional connection with their men. They think more holistically, and having that emotional connection is incredibly gratifying. It helps if you find something lacking in your man.

"But I got spoiled, Shannon," she said. "I had both. Having that physical aspect opened up Pandora's Box for me. I met men that I cared for, possibly even loved, but without having what I knew I had in the past they couldn't last. They would never be able to satisfy me, no matter how hard they tried.

"I tried for almost twenty years to find a way to get that back, to have it again. I finally do now, and there's nothing that's going to take it away from me." I thought I heard a sharp edge to her tone, almost a warning.

"What if I took that dildo away from you right now?" she asked, rhetorically. "What if I told you that you could use it for only a week, or a month, or even a year, and then never have it ever again - not even come close? That was me, Shannon. It was an itch I couldn't scratch."

She was sounding shrill, now. Her voice was laced with anger, and I couldn't help but think that it was directed at me, somehow.

"I'm... sorry?" I offered in peace.

"Yeah, well, I waited for a very long time to get that back," she repeated. "I suppose I'm envious of you, Shannon."

This took me by surprise. Me? How could Tracy, woman of perfect tits and gorgeous looks, recipient of my father's cock whenever she wanted, be envious of me?

"Me? Why?"

"Because you've had him for all this time," she answered. "He's been right there for you for your entire life. Sure, maybe not his dick, although now you have that too - or, at least, as close as possible."

I swallowed. Her words stirred a sense of guilt in me that I wasn't expecting. For all the years that I had taken my father for granted, Tracy's words stung. My father had been there for my entire life. He had always been reliable, even if he wasn't always available due to work.

Tracy had, apparently, obsessed over my father for nearly two decades, and here I was barely keeping him in mind at all. I began to understand what she had been talking about when she was younger. You get all wrapped up in the normalcy of a situation without appreciating that it actually was special all along. I suddenly felt like I had wasted years not even trying to get to know him better.

This was getting to be too much. I was starting to feel very small, nowhere near the girl-with-attitude that I thought I was becoming. My meek, shy self wanted to hide in a corner somewhere. Instinctively, I wrapped my naked body in my blanket, forming a comforting cocoon.

"What's more," she said, obviously on a roll. "He loves you very much. Much more, in fact, than the rest of us combined."

Wait, what? The rest of us?

"I don't understand," I said, "What do you -"

"Oh, crap, Shannon, I've got to go," Tracy cut me off. "I lost track of time. Let's do this again soon, so that you can practice on getting better at your phone sex. Bye-e-e!"

She drew out the last word in a higher pitch, almost sing-song like. And then the phone went dead. It was such a drastic 180-degree turn that it left me with whiplash.

Get better at the phone sex? But... but... she had had an orgasm. Two, in fact. Wait, she did, right? I mean, why would she fake an orgasm during phone sex? Twice? It didn't sound fake.

And what did she mean by the rest of us?

What the actual fuck!?

I felt the hairs sticking up on the back of my neck. I watched the porno in a daze, the muted sound making it much more palatable. The short-haired brunette was replaced by another carbon-copy dirty-blonde girl. What was this, girl number seven? Eight? I lost count.

My mind, though, was racing and spinning at her words.

I don't mind sharing...

Was that what was happening? Was she sharing my father... with me?

The rest of us...

Who are 'the rest' of us? Is my father fucking more women than just Tracy?

Suh-Shannon...

I was now more convinced than ever that she was about to say someone else's name. But whose? Is that "someone" part of the 'rest of us'? She said she liked both men and women, so was she fucking someone else too?

My world started to feel like it was crashing down, imploding. Her last words stuck in my head like an ear worm: get better... rest of us...

My father's words began to intermix as well. Promise me... no matter what... it's because I love you very much.

At that moment, I felt like I needed that love. For the first time in years, I wanted him to come and hold me tight, rock me in his arms. Yesterday Tracy had made me feel very special, almost like the center of the universe. Now I felt like I was nothing, small, insignificant.

A small, barely perceptible squeak jumped from my chest, and I rolled onto my side into a fetal position.

The tears came, and there was nothing I could do to hold them back.