Pranked

Jimmy stood up above the red and white diner table and began gasping for air. His face had turned a dark purple and both hands were wrapped tightly around the sides of his neck. I was finally going to put my first aid training to practical use.

After setting my leg under his thighs, I began doing the Heimlich maneuver. I placed my thumbs near his belly button, and pressed into his body harder and harder. I was truly terrified that I couldn't save my best friend! Jimmy's left hand came off of his neck, and he slammed his open palm against the table. He brought his other hand down and reached beneath my waist.

"You're gay!" He yelled, as he squeezed my balls hard in his hand.

Jimmy turned around and gave me a soft kiss on the left cheek. Now that he was satisfied with his shenanigans, he sat back down besides Craig. The two of them both burst into bouts of uncontrollable laughter while holding the sides of their throats. I should have known Jimmy would do something like that. He was always pulling these sorts of pranks on everyone. What else were a bunch of senior college kids going to do during their long spring break? There really wasn't much else to do in this boring old town.

We probably could have had girlfriends like the other college kids our age, but we were all terrible at talking to girls. Jimmy was the most attractive one out of our group, and would probably have a decent chance at it. Jimmy was a tall burly football player with muscle up and down his huge body. His shiny silver eyes and long slick black hair only added to his incredibly perfect physique. Despite his good looks, he usually screwed up any chance with girls because of his stupid pranks and immature sense of humor. Most girls around here were looking for bad boys, not toddlers.

Craig was the other guy in our little trio, but also didn't have much a chance. His sparkling blue eyes and curly blonde hair could probably get him any girl around here. But Craig was way too awkward to talk them, and usually just kept to us. Poor little Craig had a wicked stutter and weighed less than a hundred pounds. It didn't help that he was also shorter than most six-graders.

I was the average guy in the group, and that was probably my biggest issue. I weighed about two hundred pounds, and didn't really have anything the girls were really looking for. I didn't have that bad-boy persona, and the two of them never let me hear the end of it. I was as soft as my man boobs, which the boys love to rip on. But the three of us made a great group, and always had a great time together. Here we were following another one of Jimmy's stupid pranks.

We slowly ate our omelets and drank our burnt coffee. Jimmy and Craig kept pretended to choke on their food, while wrapping their hands around their throats. I knew Jimmy wasn't near done yet, and prayed he would divert his attention elsewhere. Craig's face was so red that it was causing me to burst out laughing. As soon as the color returned to their faces, Craig saw his next victim. There she was another one of Craig's perfect opportunities, sitting alone at the far end of the restaurant.

Ms. Davies always sat near the restaurant window with her little black shiatsu beside her. She never hesitated to complain, and we could overhear her whining to the pretty blonde waitress about everything. Her toast was overdone, her coffee was burnt and her cutlery was dirty. If there was an award for complaining she would get the gold medal.

The pretty blonde waitress nodded her head and took everything back inside the kitchen. We knew the waitress would bring back the same food, the same dishes and most likely spit inside her coffee. We knew that because that pretty blonde waitress hated the old hag, just the same way we did.

The three of us couldn't even drive past the old bitch's house without her calling the cops on us. She called them because our clothes were too dirty, we were swearing too much or our music was too loud for her little shiatsu. One time Jimmy had enough of her complaining, and gave her a reason to call the cops. Jimmy had somehow gotten a hold of just about the smelliest food on the planet. One morning Jimmy showed up at my house with small can of the gross fermented fish, and spent the next hour explaining what it was in great detail.

He explained that Surströmming is so pungent that it's banned on most domestic flights. On the hottest day of last summer, Jimmy set it the can down behind her house and opened it up. Even from across the street where we were hiding, we could smell the pungent contents of the open can. Her little black shiatsu ran off the balcony, and bolted towards Jimmy. Jimmy ran back across the street and quickly ducked into the overgrown bushes, while the curious Shiatsu ate all the stinky fish.

Oblivious to what just happened, Ms. Davies was sitting up in her rocking chair. She was thumbing through her leather bound bible while fanning her sweaty neck in the sun. The little black dog jumped right up on her lap and threw it up all over her old floral sundress. The old lady jumped up and knocked the dog down to the ground. Between loud barks it kept throwing up the rest of the contents on her bare feet.

Lucky for us, Craig's uncle was the sheriff and we got off easy. Nobody pressed charges, but we got stuck helping the old bitch for next couple weeks. No matter how well we completed the chores she gave us, she would still make us do it again. By the time we left her house, the house looked like a museum. She tried to get us to do more, but Craig's uncle said it was enough.

But did the handsome troublemaker learn his lesson? Absolutely not, and no Jimmy never did.

As we left out the restaurant on this sunny spring day, the two of them held their necks and continued their 'choking'. They purposely made their faces turn purple and pretended to do the Heimlich to each other while humping each other in the parking lot. I grabbed Jimmy from behind and jokingly pushed his body against his jeep, pretending to save him from choking again. When we were finally done our little spectacle we headed to the jeep.

Craig took the front passenger seat and I climbed over into small torn up leather backseat. The old green Willy's Jeep was Jimmy's pride and joy. It was high school gift from his grandpa and it meant a lot to him. The jeep was rusted all on all sides and underneath, the paint was peeling off and half the gauges didn't function. But it was the best way for us boys to get around town, and Jimmy was proud that he 'fixed' it up himself. Jimmy put on his favorite rock station and started jamming with Craig. But as soon as he saw her mint condition pink Caddy parked in front of the restaurant we both knew he was about to pull something.

Jimmy stepped out of the Jeep and opened up the small trunk. He smiled at her through the big glass restaurant window and pulled a massive bag out of his trunk. After spilling out whatever it was all over her car, he got back into the jeep and parked facing her shiny pink Caddy. Whatever Jimmy did was definitely going to cause some problems.

Within minutes her pride and joy was coved in a thick layer of seagulls. The massive flock was proudly mewing at whatever Jimmy just poured all over her pride and joy. They quickly ate it all, and left a series of small white 'thank you' marks in exchange all over her car. Jimmy was laughing so hard that his belly kept smacking back and forth against the Jeep's vintage steering wheel. We were begging Billy to drive away before we got into more trouble. We didn't want to spend another minute in her smelly dirty house. To Jimmy this was probably one of his life's biggest accomplishments. Jimmy waited a few more seconds, and counted down from ten. There it was, his moment of joy!

Ms Davies flung the diner door so open hard that it nearly flew off its large metal hinges. Her little Shiatsu was tucked neatly under her arm and her cane was raised high above her head. Her yelling was so loud that she scared the three remaining seagulls off her car.

Ms. Davies looked at Jimmy's Jeep and waved her cane higher up in the air. The frail old woman began speed-walking down the block towards us. For someone who used a cane it was impressive how fast she was able to walk. Just as she approached the jeep, Jimmy dropped his arm out of the window, gave her the old 'one finger salute'. Jimmy glanced over at the massive puddle on the dirt road beside her and turned the jeep around. We watched in horror as he drove right through it. Poor Ms. Davies was now soaking wet with a crazy enraged barking dog and car decorated in bird shit. I didn't want to tell Jimmy he'd gone too far, it would just get him more excited.

Jimmy knew he would pay the price, but to him it was worth it.

We drove past Ms. Davies house the next morning and all laughed hysterically while she wiped the bird shit off her pink Caddy in the warm spring sun. Jimmy honked at her twice and was met with two matching middle fingers. She tried to chase us down with her cane up in the air, but of course we just sped off.

Jimmy drove along the main road until we got to what we called 'The Spot'. It was a mile off of the main highway, and two miles on a small dirt road. At the end of the uneven dirt road was an old barn on Jimmy's grandpa's farm. I hated the drive because his Jeep wobbled up and down like crazy and I would always get a little bit nauseous. But it was worth it, because we always had a blast. There was nothing like getting messed up in the old barn. It was just us three boys getting shit faced without anyone bugging us.

Jimmy's family was too rich too care for the decrepit property. They lived in a massive mansion right in middle of town. Jimmy's grandpa refused to move out of the log home he built, so he stayed on the farm. His grandpa's house was about a ten minute walk from the barn. The condition was that Jimmy could keep the farm, as long as he checked up on his grandpa. The good think was his grandpa couldn't hear or see much. He would never notice us the noise we made or the trouble we caused. He mostly just sat in his house reading books or staring blankly out the window into the poorly maintained property.

Usually we would get drunk and shoot metal BB's into the lake. We would often create mini explosions with anything we could fit inside our massive fire-pit. Sure, we were probably too old for this shit but we were still kids at heart.

Tonight was no different, and we were sitting outside out big fire pit having a great time. We were pretty tipsy and halfway through our first two-four.

"Truth or dare?" Jimmy asked, after chucking an empty beer can into the fire pit.

"Dare." Craig quickly answered.

Craig was always up for a good time and when he drank enough that anything was possible. Because he was a fairly small guy it was easy for him to sneak in and out of places. It also helped that Craig was an easy drunk and after a beer or two he would be near hammered. It was hard for Craig to make new friends because of his stutter, but we all grew up together and he never seemed to stutter when he was with us. It wasn't his fault that his mom drank through her pregnancy. His stutter was one of the very few things that Jimmy never made fun off, and that was our only rule.

Jimmy smiled at Craig and chugged down another beer. As soon as I saw that twinkle in Jimmy's pretty blue eyes, I knew this would be a good one. Craig was practically bouncing up and down on his chair waiting for his instructions. We finished the rest of our beers, and chucked the empties into the blazing hot fire-pit. We forgot about the cans of food we threw in earlier and ducked down as they exploded high in the air just above our heads. A can of beans landed an inch away from Craig's sneaker and nearly burnt it. Just as we got near the jeep, another can of food launched way above the barn, before falling down onto the wet grass.

After doing a few burnouts in the muddy grass we drove back to the main highway. Jimmy parked across the street and the three of us looked up into the bedroom window. Jimmy despised the pastors son because he excelled at everything, and way always 'one upping' him. Danny was much better at football. He was smarter and funnier than Jimmy and was incredibly handsome. He was always surrounded with the hottest girls in town, and they practically queued in line to be with him.

The light was on and we could see Danny was flexing in his mirror. His arms were raised and he was flexing his thick muscular arms back and forth while admiring his bare chest. Jimmy was laughing like an idiot and flexing his own muscles, while we watched Danny show off his bare upper chest. Danny spun around and began to check out his back muscles. All he was wearing was a tight pair of white underwear, and we could see him flexing his ass muscles up and down in the mirror. He turned back around once more, and admired himself while we got a good look at the big bulge between his legs. I could see why Jimmy was jealous of him, he was one sexy guy!

Danny stopped admiring his perfect body and flicked the bedroom light off. We waited quietly in the jeep until we were sure he was fast asleep.

Jimmy gave Craig the signal and Craig quietly stepped out of the jeep.

Craig scaled up the flimsy white trellis on the side of his house and climbed into his open bedroom window. We could see Craig moving around the room behind the light silk curtains, as he quietly fumbled around his bedroom. A few tense minutes later, he slid down the side of the house and landed onto the wet grass. He ran back across the street and quickly jumped back into the jeep.

He was sweating down from his short black hair and we could hear his heart pounding wildly against his chest. He handed something over to Jimmy, and Jimmy smiled as if it was some sort of trophy. Jimmy drove a few blocks over so we wouldn't be spotted. Craig's hands were still shaking as he handed something over to Jimmy.

The three of us were excited to see a nice pair of woman's big juicy breasts with perfect pink nipples. Or maybe we would be lucky and see a nice hairy pussy between a pair of long thin legs. We all looked at each other in disbelief as Jimmy slowly fumbled through the pages. He quickly discovered that this was no naked lady magazine!

The magazine was filled with page after page of muscular men. Some of them were wearing tight underwear with their gigantic bulges pushing against the soft cotton. Some of them had the tips of their thick cocks peeking out above the underwear's elastics. All the men were clean- shaven and a few of them were buried deep in each other's mouths. On the last few pages some of the guys were on their hands on knees getting penetrated from behind.

"Damn, this guy isn't into females at all!" Craig yelled, before tossing the magazine to the backseat.

If only those boys knew about me. If only they knew how badly I wanted to slowly flip through every single page of this sexy magazine. If only they knew I couldn't stop thinking about Danny's hot muscular body. Of course, I couldn't tell these two guys they would for sure kill me. As we drove back to the farm I kept glancing over at the magazine. There were two guys kissing on the front cover. They hand their hands inside each other's underwear, and were grabbing each other's massive bulging cocks. Once I was sure they were distracted, I quietly kicked the magazine open.

On the particular page I was peeking at, two naked guys were pressing their muscular bodies together. Their thick exposed cocks were rock hard, and pressed between their bodies. I couldn't believe how wide and thick they were, these guys were gigantic! Their hands were wrapped tightly around each other, and they were grabbing each other's behinds. The brown haired guy had his index finger slightly buried in the other guy's exposed asshole. Just as we turned onto the dirt road, the car bounced and flung the magazine to a different page.

The brown haired guy from the front cover had the blonde bent over. His thick cock was inserted halfway inside him, and he was grabbing the blonde guy's muscular ass from the side. The blonde guy was looking back, and smiling at him. It was clear that he was enjoying being penetrated and wanted more. Unfortunately, the jeep hit a bump and the magazine fell to the floor. It was perfect timing, because I needed to get rid of hard-on.

Jimmy parked the jeep by the barn doors, and we continued our wild night of spring break drinking. We treated Craig as if he was some sort of hero, and Jimmy carried him around the fire pit on his broad shoulders. Craig was even given a title that night. In our little group he became known as 'Craig the gay magazine thief'. Although, I'm not sure he appreciated his new title.

All I wanted to do was grab that magazine and flip through the rest of the pages.

By now we were all pretty wasted. Even Jimmy was barely holding down his liquor, and the bottles were slowly evaporating into the fire-pit. Somehow one of Jimmy's size 15 shoes ended up on the barn roof. Craig was running around buck naked with the magazine in his hand. He was waving it back and forth and I'm pretty sure he was singing the theme to star wars.

"Truth or dare?" Jimmy said, nearly falling backwards into the glowing fire-pit.

"Dare." I replied, downing the rest of my open beer.

Jimmy leaned back in his chair and undid his jeans zipper. He reached inside his blue jeans and began fumbling inside his red flannel boxer shorts. He was struggling to pull it out and he stood up and undid his jeans button all the way. His jeans fell down above his boots, and he sat back down on his chair

Jimmy brushed his slick back hair aside, and turned to face me.

"Reach in my boxers and touch my dick." He whispered in my ear.

"But I'm not gay." I replied, lying to him.

Jimmy took my hand and pulled it towards his crotch.

"It's a dare you've got to do it." He said, moving my hand closer.

He was right a dare is a dare, and his thick juicy cock was turning me on.

At this point I was pretty wasted, and it was hard not to ignore his massive cock beginning to swell up in his boxer shorts. Jimmy let out a soft grunt as I placed my hand inside his shorts. He started to get harder and harder as I toyed with his swelling cock. Something began to come out from his fleshy tip as I pulled his foreskin back and forth. I thought it was pee but it wasn't warm enough, and it felt thicker.

Jimmy began to moan as I wrapped my hand next to the base of his cock. His thick hairy balls seem to 'glue' to the base of my hand as I moved it faster and faster inside his boxers. More and more of the liquid kept dripping down onto my fingers. Jimmy turned rock hard, and I was struggling to wrap my hands around him. He grabbed my hand and pressed it tightly between his big hairy legs.

He let go of my hand, and a shot of warm liquid started pouring out from the opening of his tip. It got all over my hands and dripped onto the front of his red boxer shorts. The rest of it was still dripping over my sore hand. Jimmy kept drinking with his cock still throbbing up and down inside his shorts. He pulled his boxers down, and grabbed my hand again. His cock was massive! but not nearly as big as the ones of the two guys in the magazine.

We both began stroking his cock up and down a few more times. He moaned loudly as a small white splash shot from between his legs. He drank another beer and pulled his pants back up over his soaking wet boxers. Once his pants were back up, he gave me a gentle pat on the shoulder and stumbled inside the barn. I sat at the fire for a few more minutes and finished my beer before heading in after him. Once I found a small comfortable space near the barn door, I slowly drifted off to sleep.