All Comments on 'Prima Nocte'

Could be a great story, but it has way way too many errors. Multiple changes in POV between she/her and I/me, he asks if her friends would like to join them before we know anything about the friends being there, etc etc etc. Get an editor!!!

This is the very first erotic story I've ever written. I hope it's enjoyable and I apologize for any short comings the story has. I will only become better with your feedback.

When this was copied over the italics for any thoughts didn't transfer over. My thanks to those of you who have and will rate and think of this story highly. I am working on a second story as well as a continuation of the Abby/Vine line.

Pelwrath

Anonymous you are a pain. Not courageous to use you Lit name.

I liked it very much, but find an editor to correct your oops. That will make anonymous go await to torment someone else. Keep on with more chapters.

Anonymous;

On page 1Abby mentions about her friends meeting them at the show.

On page 2 Vince askes if they would like to go with them for gelato.

Would having an editor have helped, yes there are mistakes that woul have been caught.

i thought the ending would be they would fall in love and vince would make her a honest woman...this was a very erotic and enjoyable story and reading please i would truly love to see more of the story continue.....please

Your story of the VFT was very enticing, and remembering. Much more erotic than I recall and yes, you got me off. Take good care of Vince as he seems to be worth the effort.

I almost quit reading after you said they were going to a fancy French restaurant and then they order steak and fries? Cmon, why not just go to Golden Corral?

This is what Making Love should be about.

I want to thank all of you who've taken the time to read and or vote for my story. I do plan on continuing on with Abby and Vince, though I've another story to finish first. As this was my first erotic story, I'm flattered at the positive responses and that you liked it.

Again my thanks and best wishes to you all for your support.

but it was with a lass who, with hindsight, had little more self confidence than I did. I came in her cunt and spent the night when I got home worrying about which happened first, the sensation of my orgasm or ejaculation. Much later I rationalised that she had some contraceptive active but I wished she'd told me!!!

My favorite element was her running interior commentary!

Fun story! Thanks!

Loved the story but hated her constant calling him "dear" made her sound ancient 😀

The story telling was extremely sensuous, and I would read more from you. However, please edit more carefully or get an editor. The your/you're errors were extremely annoying.

The errors in this story are totally distracting to the point of nearly making it incoherent. I lost track of the misspellings at 60. In addition to the spelling errors the grammatical errors did nothing to enhance its readability. Before you release any more stories please get a competent editor. As an afterthought this story appears to be written via a dictating program which can't distinguish the subtle differences between similar words.

I was told when I started writing a few years ago to always look to improve your writing and that you write for a particular audience. The Twilight books are said by many to be poorly written. I've never read them, so I've no opinion on that but I do know that millions of people bought those books, so to them, the books weren't poorly written.

I intend to improve on my SP&G and I'm sorry for putting so many through such a terribly written story. My nickname is on it for all here to see, it's possible some might even recognize it.

I've submitted an edited version of this story, to correct the SP&G errors and a few other small changes. I hope that I've caught them all but I'm sure a few may have slipped past.

I hope that this improves the readability of the story for all and I thank full for all the support and comments that have been left.

The continued mixing of the two was very distracting.

The edited version, by me for people keeping score, has replaced the original. I think I caught all the your/you're incidents, but if I didn't I'll find out. I've italics for Abby's thoughts. I missed correcting the French Restaurant.

I hope that the edited version is easier to read and allows for comments on the story instead of the warranted but technical aspects of my writing.

If any are interested I have a second story under interracial love. I've started work on the next segment of this story.

Thanks to al who've enjoyed reading my story and those who offered suggestions to improve it.

English a second language?... Just wondering

In answer to your question. No, but I've several high school English teachers who might agree with you.

It was the first erotic story I'd ever written. I'm so glad that you had the courage to post your comment like the rest of your family did.

I know that poor SP&G takes away from a good story and my apologies for offending you and all others with so many mistakes. I've learned my lesson, the scars from the previous lashings, have only barely healed. I did my best to self-edit, not knowing then, the volunteer editors were at no charge.

My stories now are edited before being posted. I hope that it didn't detract from the story excessively, make you stop reading or, if you voted, noticeably affect your scoring of the story.

Semi-formal dress is not a suit, it is a black tie tuxedo. A suit is informal.

“I’m so glad I decided to be Vince’s boyfriend.”

Do you see anything wrong with that sentence coming from Abby?