All Comments on 'Primal Fantasies: Wolf'

Short and sweet. Love it

Started very hot....the end was a little disappointing though. Favorited anyway

There is confusing and potentially missing language. He took the sheath off. "pulling his cock free from the sheath and setting it carefully down on the end table," Then he's in the car and you're talking about _his_ sheath as if you're calling his penis a sheath. "The thin webbing of skin holding his hairless sheath in place thickened" "A lustful groan escaped his lips as he squeezed his sheath." But wait, now it sounds like the sheath is the appliance again. "The head of his already-hard cock forced the tip of his sheath open as it emerged. His sheath bulged around his dick" Is he meant to be wearing the werewolf sheath when he leaves his house? We're led to believe he left it on the end table.

"a loud two-tone emergency beep sounded from his phone" That's a good way to let us know his werewolf-enhanced ears can pick up sounds that he might not have otherwise heard, like a text message or delivery notification tone from a phone wedged in between couch cushions, but we're specifically told it's an emergency tone. I'm left wondering to what emergency did his phone try to alert him, but that detail is abandoned and we're never told. If it wasn't an emergency and it was just the delivery notification he heard, calling it an emergency tone is misleading and confusing.

"Blood coursed through his body, leaving a pounding ache between his temples." Blood is always coursing through our bodies. The statement comes off as redundant and unnecessary and elicits a "Well, duh" from the reader.

This whole paragraph has me confused as to where his penis is and the mechanics involved. "A thin web of skin grew from the base of his cock as he drove. It spread slowly, pulling at his hard dick. He felt the soft tip move against his leg as the webbing spread, inching along his belly. Pre-cum leaked from the tip of his throbbing cock, smearing against his thigh until his dick lay centered mid-belly. The strange line of skin continued up his cock until it was two inches away from the head." Is it against his leg or his belly? You're describing it against his leg and his belly at the same time within the same sentences. If it's meant to have risen from his pant leg, how? I'm under the impression that hard penises generally don't leave the pant leg of pants that have a zipper and rise to lay on the belly without assistance while you're in a sitting position driving a car.

That whole description of the webbing along with the two paragraphs below is also confusing.

"Excess flesh flowed from his crotch (that you described above as starting from the base of his penis), spreading up and over his loose ball sack and dick." Where is his ball sack that excess flesh travels up and over it? The ball sack generally sits on the seat of the car under the penis. "He scratched the itchy growth as it flowed up, further and further until it covered the fat head of his cock."

"The thin webbing of skin holding his hairless sheath in place thickened"

You continually talk about webbing and further on a knot throughout the story. By the end I still don't understand what they are, what they're supposed to look like, or what they do. I keep thinking about what I know about webbing and mammals in general and werewolves and humans specifically to make sense of it. And straight up - what is the knot? The webbing and the knot continually have me rereading passages to see if I missed something, but I haven't.

There's more, but this is already a lot for such a short story. The last thing I'm left wondering is how Joseph became infected, so to speak. Everyone he scratches or bites begins transforming immediately, faster than he did it seems. Did the sheath scratch or cut him when he put it on or took it off? You say it was easy to put on, although it did not seem like it was prelubricated with anything because he had to use his spit to put it on. It also seems he had no difficulty taking it off.

It's a good premise with lots of potential. It's difficult for me to remark on the pacing because of the problems that had me continually rereading passages. I'm genuinely curious about the questions I posed, because with those and the other points cleared up, the story could be really compelling. I look forward to seeing if you do a rewrite.

Why does a human/werewolf grow webbing? What's the knot? Is the guy still wearing the sheath?

The whole sheath thing is confusing. Did he leave it at home or did he somehow put it back on before he left? Why is he growing webbing? It's a wolf, not a duck, right?