All Comments on 'Prince Charming'

I like it and I want to read more, but all the grammer errors are distracting.. i have to go back and reread sentences to make sure I'm reading it correctly... other wise good.

I agree with the other comment. The grammar and lack of punctuation make it difficult to read. Also seemed a bit rushed. Interested to see more of the plot.

Finish High School, try again, or not.

On a positive note it has a good start and can really turn into a good story. You need a good editor. If you need help contact me and I will edit for you. Good luck. Slow down a little give more detail. Draw your reader into the story.

probably can't write to save his/herself, keep up with this story, it has a good solid story behind it, u'll find u a good editor, keep it up.

But the first commentor was right. It does need a bit of work to iron out the few rough patches and missing words. Readers are lazy most of the time and they don't want to sit and figure out what you want to say. I enjoyed the story and hope you get help with the rest! Good Luck!

All you need is a good editor.

Please continue this story. I really like it so far.

Forget the negatives, and focus on the positive.

want more.

Seek out an editor or invest in a TextAlod program. Hearing the grammatic errors and tenses will help.

The only real problem with the story is the lack of commas. If you read the story aloud you will see what I mean. Simple enough to correct in the future. Hang in there.

This is borderline illiterate.

First, it whips between present and past tenses.

Second, it generally isn't punctuated at all properly, making it tough to follow.

Third, there are major misspellings or improper words.

Examples:

Did you here my question - 'hear'

I'm luck you even wanted to be with me - 'lucky'

...and the list goes on and on.

It reads like it was written by a seventh-grader.

An editor *might* straighten out some of this mess, but so far, this is garbage.

I liked the direction of the story; however, I couldn't appreciate the story because of the run on sentences, missing words and incorrect syntax. I would like to see what happens next but you seriously need an editor.

Please don't listen to people who tell you to disregard these comments. It's a good story and I can read it as is. But you'll have MANY more fans and it will make for a much better story if you take the time to edit or get yourself an editor, who can change your run on sentences. You took the time to post it so I know you want people to enjoy it.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE OTHER PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT, BUT CONTINUE WRITING YOUR STORY.

Now its time to get on with the Shane and Carmen Show.

I agree dont let People who are to Embarassed so they Choose "Anonymous"

to Make remarks they wont or Cant backup.

Am I the only one that thinks this story is starting up like Demon at my door only this time he is irish not scottish. I have to agree with the others you need a good editor plus more character development. The good thing though is a lot of people are reading your work.

Dont let the negative,non-helpful criticism stop you from continuing to write. As previously stated, all you really need is some good editing. So far I'm intrigued and really want to see where it goes.

I'm waiting to read how things turn out.

BAD GRAMMAR. HORRIBLE.

great beginning! way too short, but that's okay for now. although your grammar needs help. there were some missing words and incomplete thoughts in there. otherwise, great job. kudos.

wow that was really good. i hope there will be more.

Badly

With that being said, really good start on the story.