All Comments on 'Prison Payment Ch. 02: The Guards'

...get yourself a few things before you continue with this story.

Like.. a dictionary.. a spell-checker.. and a proof reader.

Oh.. and throw in a few more (like a lot more) periods.

Good story.. poorly written.

Thank you Anonymous - you after reading the story there are quite a few grammar issues I will try harder next time to check the work. All comments are gratefully received, you don't improve without criticism.

First chapter was plausible, and good enough.

But this, ... sorry no words... she went from being reluctant but forced, to just being a slut.

First chapter was excellent but this one is fucking for fuckings sake as if Rosie is doing it as some form of revenge on her husband. Ideally she should be genuinely reluctant and maybe a little fearful too with time to anticipate what is to be done to her, tied with everything exposed awaiting humiliation. Too many cocks spoil the broth!

How to ruin a story in one easy lesson. Switch from past tense to present tense midway through.

What a pity.

Well, I would have liked a little more comforting aftercare from the guys since they really put her through a lot with all of them taking all of her holes. It would have been nice to have Adam tell her, "I know you are hurting a bit but it will get better. Let's get you into a shower and into bed. You were great tonight. We are going to let you recover for awhile. Your husband really does love you."

It has been some time since this was last written however it would be good to have another chapter of her exploits until her husband gets out of prison. How does she cope with so many men showing up at her house? Will the neighbors think of what is going on? So many options that could happen. Does she tell her husband to bugger off?

I couldn't get past the horrible spelling and grammar.

It was a nice try but you really need someone look over your stories. Spelling, grammar and flow were definitely a problem. You need an editor