by Lez_writer
...well of course Mother always knows best. How can this possibly go wrong?
You are far too prone to silly errors (such as getting your characters' names mixed up), poor grammar etc. I recommend that you get some books on writing and grammar and study them very carefully. That or find an editor.
You seriously need to look at your characters, because you are crossing them over, way to much.. Plus the Grammatical Errors are beyond anything I have seen.. Proof reading doesn't take long and having a second pair of eyes, probably would be a very good thing..