All Comments on 'Promises, Promises...'

I've been getting really tired of cuckold stories of weak willed men getting trampled over. Thank you for something totally different.

No guy let's his wife have sex like that and gets hung up on it. Story just didn't make any sense.

I cannot help but think that Jack brought this onto himself. It was JACK who suggested Amy (HIS WIFE) sleep with Tim. Was this a long and thought out discussion about the pros and cons? No, a 3 minute conversation at best.

Yeah, Amy certainly does share the blame, for doing Tim again, even though it was explicitly said "only one time". Not to mention the shaving thing.

Tim, I actually blame the least. With the state he was in, he'd latch on to Amy like crazy, and certainly wouldn't refuse her if she came on to him.

That long speech Jack gives Amy? WTF? It was HE who suggested she fuck Tim. It'd be funky if Amy said that same speech to Jack, after he suggests she sleep with Tim, at the very beginning.

Jack is NOT sympathetic.

Also, who's Jenny?

Literotica doesn't usually present the concept of divine justice and lately the more perverse the better so it seems to me. Your story strangely projected that concept. Kudos. I've read all your works and continue to return. Perhaps there is justice!

Weird - he should have suspected something was awry especially as Tim seems to have been married to Sarah, Jenny and Sharron all at the same time. The motivations are as incomprehensible as the names of the characters. Maybe he just became confused and mistook Amy as Sharron and Janice as Jenny. Who cares? A slovenly piece of fiction.

If only because this genres been so DEAD lately.

Where are all the writers gone?

the ending was as believable as pigs flying. It was well written, but ill conceived.

I didn't care for the story or the ending. Thought the ending was just too contrived. For me a happy ending is a good thing but not a happy ending at any cost.

The content was not up to your normal standards but it was well written.

Thanks for your hard work and keep writing please.

Woodmanone

Liked the story and concept but I felt it could have used some more fleshing out. Amy must have been listening to her ipod because from what I read, I don't think I could have made a life commitment to someone based on what he said to a wife on a deathbed.

I mean really, you should've spent way more time fleshing this out. I hate to compare--particularly the comparison I'm going to make--but you should go and read and study some DQS stories, particularly "A Moment of Clarity." That way you'll see what I mean.

Here, you created a situation and then--BAM--resolved the whole thing, all in 1 1/2 pages. I'm not saying all stories have to be long to be good. However if you're going to introduce so many conflicts, you should take the time to allow the emotional impact to build and peak. You didn't do that here. You had a great idea for a story, but you didn't utilize your ideas.

1. He consents to her banging Tim. Okay, not my cup of tea, but you didn't really even have him agonizing over it very much. You had almost no confrontation with Amy over it except a brief phone conversation the next day. It was almost as important to him as her forgetting to make the bed.

2. Then, the very next day, he catches them fucking again. Better to have built up the suspense that maybe they were still fucking each other--ratchet up the tension--before catching her.

3. Then, when he catches her, it's all over in a few brief minutes. There's almost no emotion in the confrontation. He's pissed and sends them away.

4. The car accident. Slow it down. Almost write it in slow motion. "I watched her stare at me, tears streaming down her face. To my left, I heard a loud rumble. Turning, I saw a cement truck barrelling down the street toward our driveway. Turning back, I watched Amy put the car in reverse, tears still streaming. I started to raise my hands, shouting for her to stop." And so on.

5. The hospital scene. I mean, really. He's not a wimp if he sits there and doesn't rip her fucking heart out just before she dies. And, again, he could've been torn at least a little.

6. Then--BAM--out of left field comes a nurse to make him whole again. Again, at least have him noticing the nurse listening to him, maybe with her hand on his shoulder or a tear running down her cheek. Something.

Scorpio, I really do like your stories, and I read every one that is posted. Your writing skills are technically superb. Still, I can't help but think that your stories--particularly this one--could be a whole lot better if you take more time to maintain tension and increase the conflict.

Either way, please keep on writing!

The "idea" of agreeing to let a "friend" fuck your wife is a life destroying idea and would be unlikely to enhance a relationship.

I DO like retribution stories, but even then this stories retribution was basically an accident. It's better if it's directed and premeditated.

Sometimes you do pretty good, but you already know this sure isn't one of your better efforts.

Basically, I rather liked the story.....except for the part in which he offers his wife up for a one-time-only morale-boosting fuck session.

The problem was in that Tim was dumped by his wife Sarah, and then out of the blue, his (new) wife Sharron phones and makes accusations of Tim cheating on her. Which begs the question of why he would be so distraught and melancholy as to need a morale-boost pity fuck.

As I said, there is a huge logic disconnect.

I always enjoy your stories, but again, like many other writers, I felt your ending was too abrupt. Why wouldn't Janice contact him before a year had elapsed if only to use the occasion to introduce herself. Then gradually she would confirm that he is a trustworthy guy, etc. before she decides to make a life commitment to him. Finally, you really need to recheck names of your characters as it shows that you care about your stories and us readers.

Started like another I've read recently? Liked that story but didn't like the ending. Liked your story, but not too sure about the ending. Thanks anyway, I enjoyed it.

I like the story.

really, really bothered me about this plot. Call me crazy, but if I am going to allow my buddy to fuck my wife once, and only once, I will not be walking out the door leaving the two of them alone in the house every day. The very simplest of common sense would tell you to never allow your wife to fuck a house guest, at least while he is still a guest, if you never want it to happen again. Show the kids the cookie jar, let them eat a delicious chocolate chip cookie, and then tell them you will be gone for eight hours and they must leave the cookies alone...right?

I agree with Rehnquist that this story could have been better. Why didn't they try to find out more about the reason why his wife left him to get a better understanding. And, indeed, it could have been fleshed out more. But Mousse9 has it all wrong. He didn't suggest his wife fucked Tim. She brought it on and waved his objections/insecurities away and left in just a few minutes. She must really have been eager to fuck Tim. And, the next morning he made it very clear there shold be now more fucking. And yet ... Maybe his reaction seemed a bit harsh, but the fact that they had been at it for a wile and that she shaved for Tim while having refused his wishes for years, I think his reaction is easy to understand. As for the nurse, why not. It's an ending like any other, which brings us to the departing point, this story could have been better.

Too short... he creates the problem... sends her away, and rips her heart out before she dies. Pretty awful, and not a story. Your writing is technically excellent and I enjoy most of your stories, but this one didn't get there.

It was full of interesting details and, of course, could have been turned into a soap opera..... The detail I like the most was the telephone call from Sharon, which showed that Jack never really knew Tim! Tim was a player of the first degree. Really economic wordsmithing to get so much across!

It was full of interesting details and, of course, could have been turned into a soap opera..... The detail I like the most was the telephone call from Sharon, which showed that Jack never really knew Tim! Tim was a player of the first degree. Really economic wordsmithing to get so much across!

<P>

HDK you surprised me with your comment, "I will not be walking out the door leaving the two of them alone in the house every day." Did not happen, unless like Harry you want to turn a one day occurrence into "every day". Hell he called home and ran home hoping to set up barriers, but she lied and he was too late. It sounds to me like he asked for the bare pussy the previous night and that was the first thing she took care of after seeing the hubby off to work....

Jack and Amy were set up by Tim who appears to be a predator. Jack decided to be stupid and agree that Amy could fuck Tim. Amy decides to be stupid and fuck Tim again the next day. Jack kicks them both out. No problems with that. He probably would have found out about Tim's actions later and realized his best friend set him up. At that point he could have hunted Tim down and disposed of him. But fate intervened in the form of a cement truck. (They survived that????) <br><br>

Then Jack becomes a complete bastard. Tim is barely clinging to life and he tells Tim off and Tim dies. Maybe a bit harsh but it was right after the confrontation so maybe understandable. Then he sits with Amy just long enough to tell off a woman that can't talk or move and is likely to die. WOW, what a man! What will he do for an encore, go pick fights with 3 year olds. I'll bet he wins all those as well. Then we get the brain dead nurse who thinks spitting in the face of a dying woman is romantic. <br><br>

Amy made a huge mistake by letting her passion run away with her. Jack opened the door to that. He helped facilitate breaking her marriage vows. She broke his trust and deserved some retribution. But Jack's actions don't make him macho or admirable. He is a vicious SOB. He doesn't deserve the stories "happy" ending as contrived as it was.

Bruce is a good guy, and he implied I am like Harry. What choice is there? The wife did 80% of her work from home. The husband had a job. The house guest had no job. Thus, 80% of the workday would see the friend and the wife home together without hubby. Allowing them to have sex once, and then thinking he could just walk out the door every morning afterward, leaving them together, seems like a big mistake to me if he does not want the guest banging her like a screen door. The proof is the guest banged her the first day after he left. If there had been a second day, he would have nailed her again, or so I would imagine. Some would say this was beyond stupid, and he is actually inviting them to get it on all the time. Some would say the husband is dumb as a rock. How many people celebrate a good job interview, unless there is free pussy tossed in?

I always find strangers and bring them to hotel rooms and hide all our ID before they bang the hell out of the wife, and we register under an alias. Then I toss acid in the guy's eyes so he will not come back to haunt me, or identify me. That's exactly how us smart guys get our wives banged on the side without any embarrassment or complications later! When I allow "friends" to nail the wife, they disappear the next day. Usually run over by a cement truck. Certainly, nothing smaller than a log truck. Never a damn Honda.

You had better cut back on the caffeine, sweetie.

I loved it. I agree with most of the people here that letting his wife sleep with his friend even once was a big mistake. But stranger things have happened. I for one love the abruptness and shock value of the crash, and love even more his resolute decision not to take her back or put up with her excuses. The way he went to the hospital and held her hand for 19 hours until she woke up was beautiful. And the ending was great too. Just salvage what you can of your life and move on. Brilliant

Author - written technically very well [as usual]. Short & to the point plot that does not turn out to be a epic saga of the dead wife's self-centered report of emotions. The husband gets a decent ending but still has to put up with the emotional damage/memories caused by the slut wife and alleged best friend.

The comments from HDK were a great response to some of the more idiotic retorts from certain individuals.

Tims ex wife?? Why'd she leave?? Was Tim a predator?? Cement truck eh ? .... Nice touch, I like it. Tell us more about the " professional ex wife" sounds intriguing.... Got any incriminating photos to post at www.voyeurweb.com ??

By allowing his wife to "help" his friend a single time, he himself sowed the seeds of their demise and her unfaithfulness. I'm not saying otherwise she wouldn't have cheated anyway, but he definately provided the catalyst.

Jack asked his wife if they had a friend who could help. I don't think he planned on her volunteering. She was down the stairs in a flash. She may have lied to Tim, or not. The scene at the end of the driveway was a quick solution to an age old problem. He is better off without her. Good one.

First response Wow. (took a little time to read type break)

So I'd looked for a quick read, found one. so it was not a sit down look for a DQS read..... and so responded Wow.

Wow good quick read. So comments took longer to read than story and they have their place but after second thought. Wow a good quick read. Reap what you sew....

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

"Too bad there isn't something we can do to help him. Do we have a friend who would seduce him, convince him that there is life after Sarah? That would be a hell of a friend."

After a few seconds of silence Amy looked at me and said, "You want me to seduce him?" Her face made it a question. Her eyes made it a challenge. Her tone was part rebuke, part offer, part observation.

Jack said the first paragraph, Amy the second. It was Jack who suggested it. You have it all wrong anon, read the story carefully.

I don't think you have to move your car in a situation like this.

A rework of misterstan's a "Friend of the Family." One really needs to read both.<P>

I like features of your rewrite better. In the original, Tim's instant transition from Jekyll to Hyde seems weird for someone who was supposed to be a best friend. In this version he is a least contrite. Also, in the original Jack allows them to continue to screw under his roof and in his bed, he does not force Tim to leave, and he immediately takes Amy back after Tims leaves. All of which seemed totally unbelievable.<P>

Now Jack tells them to get out as soon as he finds out they have continued to screw. Much more plausible. Except for the fortuitous ending of having the cement truck run them over. Too deus ex machina. Sorry.<P>

But as others have said this seemed a big rushed. The pacing and development could have been better.<P>

Thanks for sharing.

I did not enjoy it at all. (Good Luck On Future Stories)

The story is well written and has a couple of unexpected happenings in it. I good read. Thank you.

What can you say good thing happen to bad people and Tim and Amy got what they deserved

with a couple of the earlier comments. You really needed to proof this one a couple more times. Misplaced commas? No problem. A bunch of either 1.) different women who aren't quite defined, or 2.) the same character, but you couldn't remember her name for the 14 or 16 word processor pages? That causes grief and heartburn.

Just not quite up there with your best.

on one hand, i hate the fact the he was cool with his wife fucking his supposedly best friend but one the other hand, he was clear that it was a one time thing and when he found out it wasnt, he kicked them both out and made sure she knew how shed killed their marraige and love. haha, he even said how he wondered if tim would have biggger cock, be a better lover, etc. in case you're wondering that haha was more a sarcastic or sad laugh. now, i like this story better than the garbage the orginal was but the commenters had a point-this was rushed and needed quite a bit of editing/proofing.

Instead of finding a logical way of resolving the situation, you used a lame device to avoid thinking up, well, something. It may be easy and cliche to label this as deus ex machina, but it fits all too easily. The nurse was even more trite and strained.

who the heck is sharron? is she supposed to be sarah? cause that doesn't make sense or when he answered the phone he'd recognize her name... and tim basically said he hadn't been with anyone since sarah.. so there was some sort of mystical marriage in there?

massive plot holes.. story itself is at best ok.

Why would any normal guy let his wife cheat on him? So, he isn't normal. Then why is he so upset? Why would his wife volunteer? There wasn't enough groundwork to explain this.

Who was Jenny?

Ttom

Sharon? I Thought his wife was Sarah? Who's Jenny? Every happy ending needs a strong story leading up to it without a lot of name confusion. Revealing Tim to be a dog, and the introduction of Janice to the ending was totally superfluous and hurt the credibility of the story. It is enough that the cheaters died a horrible death, probably bad karma. I especially enjoyed the part when he re-kicks Amy to the curb in the hospital, hopefully exacerbating her condition and hastening her demise. So find yourself a continuity editor to proof your stories, a second set of "fresh eyes" would have spotted most of your goofs, and keep up the good work.

"As always your votes and comments are welcome. Personal attacks on my character are a waste of time however, as I have many years of those attacks from a professional Ex-wife and she is incredible."

Love it.

I liked the story,it has a good line and is plausable. As it ended there will be no other chapters? Keep writing Scorpio I enjoy your work.

I loved it when he didn't take any crap from her and dumped both of them out. Just like a man should do.

I loved the cement truck, no ambiguity

I loved his last words to Tim. He had it coming,

Lastly, to hs dear wife saying good bye and not looking back, that was just beautiful.

Could you please arrange some of this to befall MattM before he can publish any more of the wimp crap he pumps out?

Mental illness is a terrible thing.

WAS THE CEMENT TRUCK AN ACCIDENT OR SUICIDE BY C,T, TK U MLJ LV NV

The star and the main actor is so horrible not human being. It is acheap idea

I have long advised friends against sharing/swinging/whatever for I have seen this happen more than once. No two people who truly care about each other can do this without insecurities. Yes men are very insecure, and justifiably so, we have to perform were as women receive. We will always be wondering are we big enough, hard enough, masculine enough (but not to masculine), endure long enough, etcetera. Women have that part easy in that a pussy is a pussy, tits are tits as long they are there and functioning men don’t care. She lays there or hoops up and down on him, she is still receiving, maybe actively receiving but still receiving. He is performing. Proof of this is to have him go limp and see what happens.

But women being vain creatures that they are (yes men are vain also) will have vanity concerns, which are real and to them very important. She has to worry if she will lose him to a sexier woman.

And what happens if these fears to pan out? He is bigger/better, she is sexier/more lively? What then?

p.s. Hell of a steep price here for everyone.

But I thought you rushed the ending. More detail of his new romance would have made it more believable. Otherwise a good story.

I too have seen too many innocent deeds like this go bad. Don't every let it happen to you.

No one deserved to die in this story. Neither the wife nor the friend deserved to die for an act of betrayal, or abandonment. The surviving husband suffers from an agonizingly painful, a wrenching, sadness and anger. Perhaps that explains his "consolation" about what happened to his wife and his friend.

I can understand how desperately alone and angry the husband feels while his (estranged) wife lays in bed dying. The sole purpose for his fury and words he spoke to her was to cause her pain like that which he felt. That's understandable, but terribly and deeply sad. She deserved his anger and fury, but not to die so alone.

It would be challenging to describe how sad I feel about the turn of events in this story.

The contrivance at the end with the nurse showing up a year after the accident and deaths, and mouthing approval about the surviving husband's behavior and character is so phony, and doesn't justify his behavior and actions.

I can't even begin to know what silly little number to score this story.

Perhaps the only redeeming quality is that it's fiction.

You typically have the usual mix of negatives, boo's, agreements, disagreements, accolades and dumb asses. Surprisingly, some of the better commentators have weird slants on your story so...

...you did end it rather quickly and totally out of the flow of your story telling - too quick and didn't make sense...still, a very good story!!!

As to the agreement to fuck Tim in the first place, I think she was way more into it and moved on it very quickly - a little more than a mild attraction. It didn't surprise me that she had shaved her pussy and it pointedly highlighted her cheating with Tim. Despite the one time agreement (not sure he was really into it but), his phone call and her reassurance of no more screwing well - he worried about it, after all he had heard her comments last night while they fucked...AND...made love.

Tim, actually married? Seems like his timid behavior was just a cover, seems like he's a womanizer, a cheat and has no moral standards or qualms about fucking his best friends wife.

Finally, I'm surprised that even after a year that he could even have a relationship with another woman? You wrote so well that he apparently was totally, emotionally and romantically in love with his wife. Her betrayal was enough to cause any other man like him to commit suicide. Throwing her out with him was a horrible and difficult decision but he knew he could never trust her or believe in her again and that would be his nightmare for years - he totally loved her - No Cheating!

Okay, good story, just disagree with a lot of the others except - your ending was too quick and really didn't fit with the story - at least, as written!

Thanks!

Loved the Psychological and physical tension in this story. Delicious irony and wonderful twists. Tight plot! Well written! Thank you Scorpio!

simply because it deserved it, not to mention that it was a great read.R.T.

I liked the things you wrote before you started writing in the "Loving Wives" category. Maybe you're working through some pain with these revenge stories, but they aren't much fun.

Every one of these revenge type stories reads like it's written by a cuckold who can't stand the fact that it turns him on to be cuckolded... as if it's somehow ok to write the cuckold story as long as the revenge comes right after, in the case of this story almost insanely harsh revenge. Interestingly, the 'revenge' part of the story never seems to be as vividly written or fully imagined as the cuckoldry that came before, and I'm pretty sure I know why lol...

I have an idea: just write the cuckold story and skip the self esteem booster at the end.

Nice one Scorpio44a !!

Sometimes things work out just fine :-)

Now this is a real LW story - not that garbage that MattM or Azpiri spews out just to satisfy the dislusional misgivings of the fag retards like shoe-no-IQ, Clueless Wonder_One and Poesproppie.

sharron=Sara? BTW...her story about Tim contradicts Tim's apparent confidence problem (a problem posed as likely!) Sounds like a last minute addition to make Tim more unlikeable! It wasn't necessary to do that...the 'resolution was Draconian, fine...don't try to justify it!

You are one of my fav's. You know how to write like the male is a actual man. Most of the writers here make the husband out as some pussy. Thanks again. 15 stars

...again,and I still felt the impact it had on me the first time.

It's so tough to get started again after something like that happens to you.

I enjoy your stories very much - thank you for this one.

not for do-overs. TK U MLJ LV NV

I have always wondered what it would take to put so much feelings and emotions into written word. Now I know,it takes a genius. Thank you Scorpio for wonderful entertainment.

Excellent fucking story, Always been a fan.....thank u

I see comments that lead me to believe that the story has been changed since those comments were made. The version I read does not jive with many of them.

However, one thing I did not see in any of the comments that I waded through was the idea that they had been fucking for days before the night Jack reluctantly agreed to share. The author made a point of focusing on the use of the shower to indicate that. However, it did not appear obvious in what he observed that night. I think it was as he suspected, they knew he might be watching and their actions were staged to not give away previous encounters.

And then there was the fact that she had shaved her pussy. Was she really that stupid? What did she think was going to happen when Jack saw that, even if he never caught them in the act? Would she have said, "Oh, I knew you wanted me to and I just happened to do it while your best friend was spending the weekdays alone with me"?

Given all of that, I wish the author had spent more time dealing with questions about the infidelity before running her out of the house. I wanted her to admit that they had been having sex all along. I wanted her to explain why. I wanted Tim to explain his subterfuge regarding the job interviews. Did he really come to town just to fuck Amy? Did the two of them plan that even before he came to town? Had they actually had an affair previously? Perhaps it was even planned for her to decide who she really wanted to be with by the end of the week. Or, perhaps Tim really was just a supreme asshole who came to town with the intention of seducing his friend's wife.

In the end, I could not tell if she was crying and saying she was sorry in the car because she had lost the man she loved or because she had simply hurt the man she once loved. I could not tell if she was crying in the hospital because of what Jack said or because Tim was dead.

There were just too many questions left unanswered for me to enjoy the story.

And I still think its one of the deepest stories on the site. Sorry, the site won't let me give it a five again.

I also skimmed several of the comments.

I found the story compelling, but abrupt.

I could see, given the sob story from the friend, how this sort of scenario could develop. No way I would agree to letting my wife bang someone, but that element is plausible.

The warning signs were legion, however. The wife interpreted hubby's suggestion that his buddy needed to get laid as wife should do it. She's practically giddy at the thought. Then, the mid-day showers with damp towels in the bathroom every day should be a sign of concern.

Wife poo-poos the idea of other women that hubby suggests. Wife brings up again the idea of letting her bang buddy. She puts the full-court press on hubby about it. He reluctantly acquiesces, despite deep reservations. Then, he spies on the seduction and hears his wife say something about wanting buddy's cock in her since she saw it already. WTF? She saw it already? She obviously enjoyed the shit out of the encounter, orgasming repeatedly and practically singing in joy afterwards.

All of this would bother me, and should have bothered the hubby A LOT. Instead of having a long conversation about it, he settles for some bland assurances.

At that point, maybe he needs to have the long talk with wife and possibly his friend. Something like "I agreed to this only with great reluctance, and out of concern for my friend. I regret agreeing to it now. It bothers me a lot. I may never feel the same about my wife or friend. I feel like I can't have my friend in this house anymore. I think you need to leave. I'll put you up in a hotel, or whatever, but I can't have you in my house while you are in town. I cant have the two of you talk to each other while you are in town. I am sorry it has come to this. But that is the way it has to be. If you can't abide by this, I will divorce my wife. I'm sorry it has to be this way, but it has to be."

Once the djinni is out of the bottle, it is hard to put it back in.

I will say this: the wife is to blame, as is the friend. Hubby did elicit promise from wife not to do it again, repeatedly. Her excuses were bullshit.

I dont have a problem with the end-it was kind of abrupt, but so what?

Unfortunately, I would have liked to have had some explainantion and clarity in what the hell happened that week. I read a comment somewhere on this site that quoted someone (a playwrite?) to the effect of "dont put a gun on the stage if it isnt going to be shot." I feel like a lot of guns were put into this tale that never got shot. When had wife seen the friend's cock before? What was up with the towels every day? Had the freind really come just to fuck the wife? Seems an elaborate and expensive effort with no guarantee of success. How could wife and hubby not have been given details of the divorce of their friends, and not have heard about friend's remarriage? Too many unanswered questions.

Final analysis: without knowing more, and assuming wife was just trying to help out a friend, and that she only did it that one more time (to affirm friend's confidence, hubby wouldnt find out, she had already done it once anyway, she got caught up in celebrating, etc.), and that she would not do it again (big assumption), I feel like a reconciliation could have been possible and justified. She was a good wife for years. She probably did really love hubby. She was given permission to seduce buddy once, etc. Wasn't hubby unduly harsh in causing her terrible emotional pain and loss of hope while she was struggling for her life? I would think that would haunt him, and maybe that was the point with him crying at the end.

Side note: the shaved snatch observation was kind of ridiculous.

other than the letting his wife fuck Tim, which made him a willing cuck. That were the respect fled her lying ass, he became a stupid husband that would do what ever to keep the whore. But in the end he did the right thing.

He needs to grow up, be thankful the cheating slut is gone, and get on with his life

Why the sadness all the time by the victims, so where is the rage the anger, sadness is a useless emotion unless its about grief(you grieve for loved ones not whores or bastards), but he should be using time to be angry, for this was a bitch was a cunt of the 1st order.

I love my best friend like he is my brother, I hold him higher than any man I know. If a panel of top oncologist from the best cancer centers in the world told me that he had cancer and the only cure for him was sex with my wife I would consider it. The idea of letting ones wife fuck a friend to boost his confidence before an interview is...the only word that comes to mind is ludicrous but this is beyond that well beyond that

One fuck or twenty once the husband gave his ok he gave up his right to be outraged. His stupidity killed his wife as much as anything else.

But he was fooled into letting his wife fuck Tim, not realising they were screwing all along. I repeat other commenter's lament, "Why the sadness?" He should be happy to lose the assholes and rejoice he is still young enough to restart his life, without the dead, rotting assholes. May they rest in pieces.

I had to say it. HA

Started out brilliantly, a wonderfully crafted story. The ending was sloppy and didn't seem to reflect the same care and precision that it started with. It was almost like you simply wanted to end it as quickly as possible. Very disappointing. I absolutely love the storyline though.

I agree with some of the others about the notion of being outraged about her breaking her promise after having agreed to letting his wife fuck his friend. It seems like he was upset about the wrong thing. Once he agreed to letting them fuck, it isn't her breaking a promise that he should be upset over. What did he expect? In that regard, her excuses after he catches them make just as much sense as the whole notion did to begin with. What he should be upset about is the fact that he knows they both conspired to trick him, that they had been fucking all along, and obviously must have been fucking prior to his whole visit in the first place. Why would she agree to the whole ludicrous act if she hadn't already fucked him at some point in the past? I realize he is upset by this, but why keep it a secret and say he is kicking her out because she broke her promise?

The revenge is not truly revenge. They obviously had a connection, so kicking them both out only gives them what they ultimately wanted - each other. He ends up driving them together. Keep her around, let her twist in the wind and suffer over weeks of regret before divorcing her. Killing her off is an easy escape and not revenge of his doing.

an idiot for semi-approving the first act. Upon reflection, Sarah's comments during their first coupling indicate this was her first time with Tim. If so, was she in on Tim's fake trip to Denver? Maybe so, because she seemed to suggest several times boosting Tim's confidence until Jack finally acquiesced. Does anything like this happen in the real world?

he did not approve the first time, he approved a time after they had already been fucking. either way she was a cheating cunt and died like all cheating cunts should die, in pain and disfigured. and his friend, well i hope he was in a loit of pain too before he kicked off.

good story - killed both cheaters.

Thr ending killed this story plain and simple.

Ok, here are two bits of feedback on your writing as you asked in your closing author's note:

A general problem with your writing is the lack of scene change indicators, I've found. It's sometimes difficult to know when one scene starts and another ends. While I didn't notice it in this very story, I have noticed it in particular when separate conversations meet with little to nothing in between the two parts of dialogue.

Second, your dialogue is sometimes a bit ambiguous. I specifically don't mean this story, but that doesn't mean that you did something different or better here. With a few more "he said/she said" and other ways to assign a particular line of dialogue to one or the other person, you would make long conversations easier to read.

He knew what they were doing with the wife's showers so he allowed himself to be a cuckie......so little wanker, take it between thumb and forefinger and enjoy your miserable life.

I could not give this story very high marks. I've seen you write much better stories than this.

trust no one

Ditto.

I don't know how you can say that!

Yes, he had his suspicions, then he checked on them, found out they were cheating, and threw her out.

He didn't even take her back when she was injured.

Not cucky in MY book!

5 stars

to keep or to make, both hard to uphold. TK U MLJ LV NV

Oh yeah.

Not particularly 'literotic' but, omg, what a gifted writer! What an ability to touch and move with one's prose. Bravo.

In my story PRICKLY PAIRS the cheaters are swept to their doom by a flash flood. Here, it's a cement truck. See, the cheated-upon don't have to go all BTB, not when The Hand Of Fate steps in and smites the transgressors. We can get rid of noisy dogs that way, too.

women that think with their cunts seldom are happy, forget her, move on

he needs some thing to fuck and suck besides himself or he's going to kill some one

I lived with and was engaged to a beautiful widowed sweetheart and her daughter for three years who...turns out, liked coke and pot and...usually got them on girls night out on Wednesday with her old college friends.

They would go to a disco, dance with blacks only and when they decided who they wanted, they each would drop a motel key in the hands of the lucky guy. Lucky, that's mild, Hollywood made movies of creatures this stunning, looks, intelligence, mischief and hot so...lucky - you bet!

Okay, my point, relative to this story, it was 6 months before I could go a day without my knees giving way, convulsing and totally crying and I didn't always have some place to duck into for cover. It was two years before I could actually enjoy a date, forget making love - which did ultimately come back around.

This was 20 years ago, I still do and will always love her, I am an emotional romantic (not sickly - just private and special, friends don't see it and I know don't sense it) and I still feel that my life is empty and sorrowful. She is alive and I guess well, she did try to re=unite with me but I could never get past the betrayal of what we had that was just ours and I know she felt that too but...drugs and euphoric extramarital sex enticed her all too frequently and I could never take her back. Did I/Do I want to - sure but I am plagued with a very vivid memory so...I just wish and know...Not ever!

I can relate to his sadness, he'll hurt forever and I know because...I Do!

Thanks for the offering.

Both cheaters got what they deserved! Karma can be a stone cold bitch!!

way before it ever was, TK U MLJ LV NV

cement truck. I know that Jack was sad, I mean, why couldn't it have been him driving the truck.

So, I bet Amy knew why Tim and Sarah got divorced. Poor Jack, they were probably fucking back in Jellystone. Right in front of Yogi Bear no less. Second read, good story actually. Well written I say.

They got what they deserved.

Any husband who agrees to let wife screw someone else even a single time deserves whatever comes his way

he agreed .

oh i know , they were doing it all week before he "agreed" .

but he still agreed .

so fuck him .

I could almost feel his emotion. The story could have been longer in explaining what was going on or why. I wouldn't think a wife would cheat on her husband just because she could, but I could be wrong.

I think it was well written, but could have been fleshed out more.