Promises Pt. 03

Then, surprising the hell out of me, Kira crouches slightly and launches herself upward in a leap that would make an NBA forward proud. I quickly recover and, at the top of her arc, when her eyes are maybe only a foot below mine, my hands are there to catch her and lift her the rest of the way up.

There are several gasps from the Palmetto State group at her sudden act, but Kira and I cling together cheek to cheek. "Oh God, Peter," Kira says softly in my ear. "I'm so sorry. I was afraid you'd never want to speak to me again."

"No Kira, it was wrong of me to stomp off like that." We just hold tight to each other for a long moment.

"So I guess you two, uh, know each other?" Anna eventually ventures.

"Yeah," I say. "Kira's the 'roommate' I told you guys about yesterday." I realize that I'd never described her to them.

"Ah, it suddenly becomes clear," Anna says. "Kira said she had a platonic guy friend for a roomie, but if she'd mentioned he was seven feet tall, I might have made the connection. You two make an awfully cute couple."

Odd might be a better word for it. "Well, we're not actually a..." I blurt, then stop myself. Our recent actions give the lie to the words I'd been about to say.

"We came down here as mere acquaintances," Kira says, bailing me out. Then she whispers in my ear. "You should probably put me down now, Peter."

"Oops, sorry." I set her down lightly on her tall stilettos and she happily recovers her flowers from Anna, who, to my relief, doesn't seem to be at all jealous. Kira gives them an appreciative sniff.

"Thank you, Peter. They're beautiful." In her arms, the large bouquet looks positively humongous.

"I was going to introduce you to my new friends," Kira says, "but evidently you've already met."

"Yup, I spent the better part of yesterday with these folks." I turn to the group. "Hi guys." There's a round of hugs and handshakes.

"Yeah," says Braden, the nominal leader of the group, "we always seem to be picking up strays." He smiles and shakes my hand. "Dude, you're crazy to have spent a day with us if you could have spent it with this lovely young lady."

The daggers for him in Anna's eyes are very brief, but razor sharp. Braden and his wife had split off from the group before dinner the night before and he evidently didn't know just how friendly Anna and I had become. I'm not sure where I stand with the tall blonde, but her face quickly regains its mild expression.

"What do you say we all do tables for two tonight?" proposes Braden's wife, Julie. "We've been traveling as a herd all day and, since everyone has someone, a little intimacy might be a good thing."

Murmurs of agreement break out all around. "Thanks guys," I say, then look down at Kira. "Shall we?" Her grin is answer enough.

I slip the maître d' a hundred peso note and he gets us a semi-secluded table with a great view of the ocean. A server takes Kira's bouquet.

"So, what were the chances of that?" I ask, wanting to start our conversation off with something relatively safe. "It about blew me away, seeing you with the same group I was with."

"Well, after you left, I really needed to take my mind off my woes. For me, there's nothing like a good thrill to do that, so I went over to the parasailing spot. That's where I met Anna. We were the only two girls in line. She said she'd felt stupid chickening out the day before and the gang had encouraged her to come back and do it. When they saw that I was a singleton, they kind of took me under their wing."

"Sounds familiar. They're a good group of people."

"So true. Then we found out there's a 110lb minimum weight limit to parasail, and I've never been within thirty pounds of that. Anna and I were both nervous about flying anyway, so she suggested we go tandem. They have rigs for that, so we got to experience it together. It was awesome. I'll have to show you the video some time."

I grin. "Can't wait."

"We all spent the day together, then tonight they were wanting to go upscale for dinner anyway, so I steered them into coming here at seven."

"I see that you took the time to get ready for dinner. You clean up exceptionally well."

She blushes slightly. "I should say the same about you."

"Thanks."

"So Anna is the girl from last night that you told me about?"

"Yeah. Look, I have no intentions toward her."

"Peter, it's okay. I can see why you'd be attracted to her. She's really tall and pretty, though only a mere shadow of Destinee."

I can hear Kira trying to disguise her jealousy of my ex-girlfriend, but it's still thick in her voice. Interestingly, I don't detect any jealousy at all regarding Anna, who would be much more of a threat to her at this point.

"Kira, I learned my lesson about Destinee. She's most emphatically not the kind of girl I want to spend my life with." That seems to relieve Kira a little. "I also learned some other important things this afternoon."

"Really? Like what?"

"Like maybe my whole life has been a lie."

"Whoa, hang on there, Peter. You're just-"

"Please hear me out, Kira," I say gently.

"But-"

"Please?"

She bites her lip and nods for me to continue.

"I was reading my email this afternoon. There was an invitation to my ten-year high school reunion. They're going to have a mixer, a barbeque, and a formal dinner. There were two from a professional engineering association where I'm scheduled to give a presentation on how to navigate the US Patent process. The one that scared me silly, though, was from a high school in St. Paul. One of their teachers heard me give my speech about how to push past what you feel are your limitations. She wants me to give it in front of the entire senior class." I think a little of my internal shudder makes it to the surface.

"Peter, none of that sounds like you."

"It's not, but I do these things to try and get more comfortable dealing with people. It's part of my self-improvement project."

"But?"

"But while I've gotten better and better at doing it, I haven't gotten any more comfortable with it, which was the whole idea. No matter how many times I do any of those things, my stomach churns at the prospect of having to do them again the next time. I hate doing that shit, and I think I always will."

Our waiter interrupts momentarily to take our drink orders and to return Kira's bouquet, which is now beautifully arranged in a simple glass vase. Kira orders chardonnay while I ask for ginger ale. She has to dig around in her purse when the waiter asks to see her ID.

I chuckle as he walks away. "Laugh it up, fuzzball," she says with a chagrined smile. She's just old enough to appreciate being carded.

"And you do realize that the drinking age here is only eighteen?" I ask.

"Oh wow. Do I look that young? In this dress?"

"You look beautiful, Kira, no matter what you wear, or don't wear."

She blushes, then urges me to continue with what I had been talking about, probably to change the subject.

"Kira," I say, back to being completely serious now, "what you told me this afternoon pissed me off, but it was true. It pushed me to step back and reexamine my life's goals. I finally started to ask myself what it is that I really want. What would I be doing if I could do anything? At least among the things that might be possible for me, anyway."

"A worthy question," she says. "I think everyone should give some thought to that from time to time."

"Yeah, and after spending some time sifting through my motivations, I've come to realize just how much my life has been influenced by the bullies who teased me as a kid. They called me a weakling and a 'retard', and said I would never amount to anything. I honestly believe that my motivation for much of what I've done ever since has been to disprove a grade school taunt from kids I'll never see again."

"Wow," she murmurs. "So, what is it that you really do want, Peter?"

I've been thinking hard about that question and have some general ideas, but somehow, sitting across the table from Kira, my thoughts and desires seem to crystalize.

"I love to work in my shop, creating new and useful things. I love to work out, and I love my peace and solitude."

"So far so good."

"Yeah, the effort I've put into that has been time well-spent, but I want more."

"Like what?" she says gently.

"I don't want to deal with large groups of people, but I don't want to be alone either. I want to have a good relationship with someone who understands me, who I can talk to and relate with honestly without constantly having to monitor my every word and action. I basically want someone I can share my life with."

But what I can't bring myself to admit is that I want children, because to say that to a woman who will never be able to get pregnant would be downright cruel.

"I can certainly understand that desire," Kira says. "How do you intend to make that happen?"

"Well, I'm working on it. I'll let you know, Kira, and I really owe you for being brave enough to push me on it this afternoon."

She smiles. "It was the least I could do."

The waiter arrives just then with our drinks and we proceed to have what is easily the best meal of my life, not because of the food, which is nevertheless exquisite, but because of the lovely company and relatively unforced human conversation.

"So how do you like this tropical climate?" I ask.

"It's totally awesome," she enthuses. "If I hadn't been so messed up from losing my folks, I'd have moved back south long ago. Minneapolis is just too cold. How about you?"

"Well, this is my first time visiting a place that never freezes."

"Seriously?"

I shrug. "My mom grew up in the Soviet Union, so she wasn't in the habit of traveling. Even when we moved to the US, we never went anywhere. When I got old enough, I went to college nearby and was so focused on my goals that I never took the time to do anything else. I'm loving the warmth here, though, and I'm not sure I want to deal with snow and cold ever again."

"Amen to that."

* * * * *

We've finished our main course when Kira excuses herself to go to the lady's room. I take the opportunity to look out over the ocean. The nearly full moon is lighting the foamy surf, making it almost appear to be illuminated from within. I find that I'm very quickly becoming used to being near the sea and don't like the idea of leaving it behind. Then I feel, more than see, a female presence alight on the chair across from me. That was quick. I turn back from the window, but it's not Kira.

"Good to see you again, Peter."

"And it's good to see you too, Anna. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Well, I couldn't help but notice how good you and Kira are together. I'm really happy for both of you."

"Well..."

"And I wanted to apologize for yesterday."

"Huh? What could you have possibly done that would require an apology?"

"I was taking time away from you that you should have been spending with Kira. See, I was having so much fun hanging out with you that I just couldn't bear to tell you the truth. Normally, I would have told a guy about it a lot sooner."

"I'm afraid I don't follow."

"Peter, I delayed because after I'd been with you for a while, I thought I had you figured out. I mean, I'm not a complete ogre, but when you never tried to put a move on me, I just figured you must be gay."

"I'm not," I say quickly, "not that there's anything wrong with that."

She smiles, obviously catching my Seinfeld reference. "Yeah, but I wondered. But tonight, in front of the restaurant, that first moment that you looked at Kira told me that girls are your thing."

"Look, Anna, I'm sorry if I didn't try to be more, uh, romantic last night, but somehow it just didn't feel right. I absolutely loved hanging out with you, but I didn't have those kinds of feelings, and it bothers me a little that I don't know why not."

"Oh, I think I know why, and I think you didn't come on to me because you recognized it subconsciously. And it's why I need to apologize."

It's like a bolt from the blue when I finally get it. "You're a lesbian?"

"You don't have to yell it out," she says with a smile.

"Oops, Sorry. So, you and your roommate...?"

"Sure, but René and I are just friends with benefits. We're not a couple."

"Not that I'd be jealous, of course." Though I am, which is stupid because... well... Anna's a lesbian.

"Of course you're not," she says.

"So were you just being polite yesterday, hanging around with me, slow dancing with me, holding me close?"

She pauses for a long moment. "I had a great time with you, Peter. I certainly wasn't faking that. And if you'd tried to get more intimate with me, I'd have told you about my orientation, but you never did. Don't you find me attractive?"

It's my turn to pause. "Anna, I find you very attractive, I mean, well, look at you. You're tall, gorgeous, smart, and I relate to you on a friend level as well as anyone I've ever met in my life, but I somehow just didn't have those kinds of urges. Still, I was totally serious when I said I wanted to see you again."

"You know, Peter, it was the same for me. I've never made a better human connection than I did with you yesterday. And you're a guy." She blushes a little at that, but then continues. "But what about Kira? You've obviously got romantic feelings for her that you don't have for me. What do you suppose she would think about the two of us hanging out?"

"Well, you obviously hit it off with Kira. Maybe you could hang out with both of us."

"Hmm, but wouldn't you worry that I'd try and get in her pants?"

"Do you think she'd let you?"

Anna pauses for a long moment. "Maybe. I'd been planning on finding out tonight."

"So you're kind of my competition?"

"Maybe, but only until Friday, when I have to fly home. And I'd share."

"Share what?" comes a tiny little voice from beside us. Kira has returned. Now Anna and I both blush.

"I'm going to let Peter tell you about that," Anna says to her. She leans toward Kira, (who's at her height with Anna sitting) giving her a quick kiss on the lips. Kira returns it.

Anna gives me a smile and a surreptitious wink, then heads back to her own table, where I notice that René seems to be fuming, probably from having been abandoned in the middle of a dinner for two. Kira levers herself up onto the now vacated chair.

"Share what?" she repeats.

"You," I admit, deciding that honesty is the best policy in this case. "Anna thinks you're cute."

"And I think she's gorgeous. Don't you?"

"Uh, yeah, absolutely," I stammer, "but she's, well..."

"A lesbian," Kira finishes for me. "So she'd share me with you, would she?"

"Only if you swing that way." I decide to go ahead and ask. "So, uh, do you?"

"Well," Kira says, blushing a bit, "back when I was in high school, Bethany and I practiced kissing a few times. Supposedly it was just so I'd know what to do if I ever went out with a guy, but it was kind of fun and we ended up making out a little. She was quite eager to go further, but I wasn't up for that. I don't know that I could have sex with another woman, but if I did, it would be with someone like Anna. I really liked hanging around with her."

"So did I."

"Maybe we should invite her to come to the beach with us tomorrow," Kira suggests.

"Seriously?"

"Well yeah, sure. You like her and I like her. I think it would be fun."

"And you really want to go back to the beach after what happened today?"

"Well, thanks to you and your very stern phone call, there's going to be security there tomorrow. And I really did have fun for most of our time there."

"Well, how can I argue with that? Anna may not want to go au naturale, though."

"We'll just have to play it by ear," she says, "but I'll invite her."

Wow, this conversation has taken some interesting turns. "Okay then, now that we've got everything else settled, I'm going to throw the question you asked me earlier right back at you. What do you really want from life, Kira?"

She seems to gather her thoughts for a moment. "I want what I hoped I was going to get when I married Angelo. I want a man who wants to be my partner in life, who loves me, cares for me and yes, can make me scream at night."

"Don't let Gloria Steinem hear you talk like that."

"Hey, feminism is about letting women make their own choices. If those old broads don't like my choices, then fuck 'em."

I raise my half-empty ginger ale and she clinks it with her wine glass. "Hear, hear," I say.

Of course, we're both still skirting around the issue of what exactly is going on between us. I've never met anyone like Kira, and while she's gorgeous, she's so not my physical type. I can't imagine what intercourse with her would have been like, even if she'd been capable of it. It certainly wouldn't have been anything like what I've had before.

"Here's to both of us getting what we're really dreaming of," she says.

"Cheers."

* * * * *

As we're exiting the restaurant, we run into Braden and Julie, sitting on the padded benches and evidently waiting for more of the group to emerge. "You guys want to come dancing?" Julie asks. "We didn't dance last night, but we were wanting to see if anyone else wants to go with us."

What I really want is alone time with Kira, but I don't want to be rude either. I can pick up that Kira feels the same, but it's still early and it couldn't hurt to be social for a while. I do actually enjoy dancing, and the music at the club isn't anywhere near as loud as it is at the Time Zone.

"Sure," I say for both of us. "That sounds like fun." Only then do I think about the fact that dancing with Kira might be a bit awkward. Her face mirrors my concern, but I've already kind of committed us.

* * * * *

The whole gang ends up coming along as we hit the dance floor. Happily, tonight's musical theme is '70's disco and Kira and I immediately groove to the beat.

We find that we can dance together just fine as long as it's not a dance where we touch, but soon we're getting tired of craning our necks to see each other's faces. I spot a sturdy looking table right at the edge of the dance floor and impulsively lift Kira up onto it. She grins her approval and gets right back into the rhythm. Now she's my height and we're dancing face-to-face.

"Is this okay?" I ask, worrying that I might be demeaning her.

"No, it's wonderful. Thank you, Peter."

Kira is a good dancer and I really enjoy watching how she moves. Being so small, her movements are naturally quick, and she can put a lot more intricacies into her steps than I can.

After a few songs, the group begins to trade off partners, which I would have assumed would be awkward, what with Kira table dancing at the edge of the floor, but it turns out not to be an issue. Braden drags a heavy coffee table over next to the full-height table, and Kira's able to comfortably dance with everyone else. I end up dancing with Anna, Julie, the other two married women, a few random tourists, and even René once. I keep coming back to Kira, though, lifting her up onto the taller table each time.

There are several slow songs in the mix and at last one comes on when I'm dancing with Anna. We automatically move in until we're pressed tightly together, her large, firm breasts flattened against my chest. This is not the way I was slow dancing with the other girls (except Kira) tonight. Even knowing that we don't have sexual intentions toward each other, I love the feeling of Anna's tall body against mine. It just feels good. And strangely, it doesn't make me feel at all uncomfortable that Kira might see us like this.