Protected Pt. 10

Before I could speak, he buried his face in my neck as a shudder ran though him. He coughed out a wet sounding sob as he squeezed me so tightly I though he was going to crack my ribs. He shuddered again with the same painful sounding sob, his sounds of anguish breaking my heart. Struggling to breath, I held his head to my neck.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

He said nothing for a long moment, his shoulders heaving in near silence as I felt his tears on my neck. I resolved to endure, but just when I thought I was going to have to beg him to let me go, he relaxed his rib straining embrace. He continued to hold me, his breathing hard as he sniffed and grumbled deep in his throat. I held him, giving him time as he tried to gather himself. Just when I thought he'd collected himself, he crushed me to him again as his shoulders shook. I began to cry as his misery washed over me.

"I murmured her!" he sobbed softly into my neck. "I held her under until she drowned!"

"No..." I blubbered just as quietly. "You protected me."

"I should have found another way."

I caressed his head, holding him tight, my ribs creaking under the strain of his embrace, but I'd die before I asked him to let me go. The breast Marciella punched howled in pain, but I ignored it. He seemed to need this, and I knew I did.

"There was no other way," I whispered through my tears.

"I'm a murder."

"No," I whispered again. "You did what you had to."

"But I killed her."

I thought furiously, trying to think of something, anything, to help him come to grips with his guilt. He'd killed her, yes, but if he hadn't... "You had to," I murmured. "If you hadn't, I'd have never been safe."

After a long moment he became still and he slowly relaxed his embrace. He panted into my shoulder for a long moment, sniffing and gasping, as he again tried to compose himself.

He sniffed and swallowed hard. "I'm sorry," he murmured into my neck, his voice soggy sounding but devoid of emotion.

I chewed my bottom lip, fear pouring though me and stealing my breath. He was leaving me. "For what?" I whimpered, trying desperately to not cry.

"I should go."

"Go?" I mewled, my heart seizing in my chest.

He nodded slowly. "I killed a woman in cold blood," he whispered. "How can you ever trust me again? How can you not be afraid of me?"

"I'm not afraid of you!" I sobbed. "I love you! You've saved me! You did what you had to do, what you've always done, but what happened, that's not who you are. Please, Colt, don't go."

He was quiet for a long time. "Even after what I've done?" he whispered, his voice so soft I barely heard him.

"Yes! I want you in my life and I never want you to leave!"

"But--"

"No buts," I interrupted. "You've done so much for me, I have no right to ask for more, but I'm asking. Please, Colt, please don't leave me."

He was again quiet for a long time. "I'm sorry--" he whispered again.

I began to cry. I'd lost him. "So am I."

"--for how I've been acting," he continued, speaking over me.

It took a moment for his words to penetrate my fog of despair, but I began to tremble as hope flooded through me. "What?" I asked, my voice quivering.

"I've been acting like a dick, taking it out on you... and I'm sorry."

I was instantly racked by sobs, my relief so profound I couldn't stop myself from crying. I held him, weeping with joy into his neck as I squeezed him with every ounce of strength I possessed.

"No," I gasped as I finally began to get control of myself. "It's okay! I was afraid you'd had enough of me and that I'd lost you!"

He continued to hold me, his breath soft and warm against my neck as I clung to him. He finally set me on the ground, pushed me gently away, and looked into my eyes.

"Never," he whispered before pulling me back in tight.

I couldn't stop myself and began to cry again, my relief and joy overwhelming me. We stood for a long time, and slowly my tears dried, his embrace warm and soft as he rested his cheek against my head. I should have trusted him, should have been there to comfort him as he struggled with what he'd done... what he'd done for me. A tiny smile replaced my tears as I felt the bonds we shared grow stronger and more resilient with every heartbeat. After another long moment that was far too short, he relaxed his embrace even more and drew his face back from my neck. He held my gaze for a moment before he lowered his lips to mine. No kiss had ever been so sweet.

"I love you," he whispered as our lips slowly parted.

His words touched me as relief again flooded through me again. Dammit... I couldn't seem to stop crying. "I love you too," I whimpered.

"I want you. I need you."

There was something in the way he spoke those six words that carried more meaning than physical desire. He wanted me... not just my body... as I wanted him, all of him, his heart, his soul... and his body. He'd proven himself willing, and capable, of protecting me against impossible odds, and I knew that protected in his arms, wrapped in his love, nothing could ever harm me. We'd survived this, and I knew together we could meet and overcome any challenge life may throw at us.

"You have me," I whispered in return, pulling him down into another kiss.

He slowly pulled away from the kiss and stared into my eyes as he stroked my cheek with his finger. His eyes were still haunted, but the cold distance he'd been wearing since... before, was fading.

His touch tried to squeeze more tears from my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I no longer doubted my feelings for him. I did love him, loved him without hesitation or reservation.

He kissed me again before he took my hands, opened the door, led me inside and up the stairs to our bedroom, pausing only long enough to deadbolt the door. He coasted to a stop just inside the bedroom door before the turned to face me. I reached for his rumpled shirt, but he caught my hands, wrapped them in his own warm hands, and held them to his chest over his heart as he continued to watch me. I held his gaze, wondering what he was thinking.

He released my hands, but before I could react, he squatted, and hefted me into the air, causing me to squeak in surprise. I wasn't a small woman, and no man had ever tried to carry me before, but the ease with which he handled me was testament to his strength. I clung to his neck, not because I feared he'd drop me, but because I desperately wanted to be close to him. He carried me the five steps to the bed and then slowly lowered me to the mattress.

He stood at the edge of the bed, watching me, and I again wondered at his thoughts, his gaze so intense and filled with such desire that I could feel my heat rising in response. We held each other's gaze for a long moment, until I reached for him in silent beckoning. He remained statue still for a moment more but then began removing his shirt. I smiled, and began to wriggle out of my own clothes.

"No... don't," he whispered.

I paused, and watched him as he slowly undressed, his gaze never leaving mine. As he stepped out of his pants, he joined me on the bed, moving across me like a thundercloud. He hovered over me as he watched my eyes. I offered him my lips, once, twice, and then a third time as I caressed the back of his head and strong, muscular shoulders, but he didn't move, as if he wanted nothing more than to look at me.

Finally, after a seeming eternity, and with near infinite slowness, he lowered his lips to mine. I wrapped him in my arms and drew him down, his arms surrounding me to hold me tight as he kissed me, deeply, our tongues engaged in an intimate embrace of their own. His weight caused my breast to hurt even more, but I didn't care, the ache reminding me of what he'd done, what he'd sacrificed, for me. I could endure anything so long as I had him in my arms.

I sighed as he pulled back and rose to his knees as his fingers began slowly plucking at my garments. I could deny him nothing, and I allowed him to slowly undress me, thrilling at the intensity of his gaze and the slow, soft caresses of his fingers. With the removal of the last of my coverings, he watched me a moment more before he slowly lowered his lips to me. He slowly covered me in kisses, his lips visiting the puffy red lines where Marciella had scratched me, the raw place on my arm where I'd scraped it on the concrete, and then he feathered his lips over my slowly bruising breast with gossamer lightness.

He brought his lips to mine, holding them a hairsbreadth from my own before slowly taking me into a long, luxurious kiss. "You saved me," he whispered as our lips slowly parted. I looked at him, not understanding his meaning. He must have realized my confusion. "The gun. Had you not--"

"I had to," I whispered, suddenly understanding what he was talking about.

"You could have been killed."

"If I hadn't done anything, she'd have killed you."

He held my gaze for a moment. "Thank you."

I again had to fight off tears. He was thanking me... after everything he'd done? I sniffed. "I couldn't let her hurt you."

He continued to watch my eyes before he bought his lips to mine. "It's over now," he murmured as his mouth closed over mine. As we kissed, he adjusted his position, and I moaned as he touched my flower, slowly dragging his finger through my wetness. As our kiss deepened, I gripped his cock and steered it into me.

I gasped as he sank deep, his low and sexy moan causing my passions to roar. I held him tight as he began driving into me with slow, hard, deep, plunges. He whimpered as he surrounded me in his arms and again buried his face in my neck. He tightened his embrace, his hands flexing against my shoulders, and then with a soft chuff against my shoulder, he tightened his embrace even more.

A shudder ran through him as he rammed his cock deep and held himself there as he whimpered into my neck. After a moment, he rammed himself deep again, and then again, and then again, each deep thrust accompanied by a soft sound of sorrow. I held him as tightly as I could, my heart breaking for him.

It was like our first time together. I'd cost this wonderful man so much. He drove into me again and again, his thrusts hard and deep as we clung to each other, but then he began taking me faster, his body becoming taut as he fucked me with purpose. I held him tight in the way he liked as he gave himself to me.

With a deep grunt, he exploded into me as he shuddered, his soft cry a mixture of pleasure and grief. Then he was still, panting as he held me. I hadn't come, but I didn't care. I was there for him, as I'd always be there.

He lay still for a long time, supporting some of his weight as I held him, his breath soft and warm against my neck. I felt so incredibly close to him in that moment that I never wanted it to end. Finally he brought his lips to mine, and we kissed, a long, slow, deeply loving kiss. As our lips parted, I could see doubt and pain in his eyes. I smiled at him and caressed his face.

"Love you," I whispered.

"Love you," he whispered in reply as he began thrusting again.

I'd thought we were finished, and my smile spread. I said nothing, afraid of breaking the moment, as I pulled his head back into my neck.

He took me slowly for a long moment, grunting and gasping as he did, his sounds of pleasure so incredibly sexy. As his back became slick with sweat, my orgasm began its conquering march on me. Somehow he knew, as he always seemed to know. He began taking me with more authority, his cock plunging deep into me as he drove me toward rapture. I clung to him, straining for my release, wanting to experience the cleansing rush of orgasmic fire.

He took me harder, then harder still, pounding into me as he moaned and growled into my neck, crying out occasionally as we gave and took pleasure. He'd already come once, but even as he struggled with his guilt, he thought of me. I stiffened under him, my climax surrounding and enveloping me, and I began to moan, unable to quieten my voice.

With a long, loud moan of his own, he spilled into me a second time as I clung to him, desperate to feel his closeness. We strained against each other for a long moment, our bodies taut and still, our voices quiet, until I relaxed with an explosive exhale, his own shuddering gasp following only moments later as he sagged.

I sighed and then blew out a long cleansing breath as he loosened his own embrace by degrees, his hot breath on my neck slowing as his panting eased. We lay in each other's arms, neither of us moving, no words necessary or spoken. After a long moment he brought his lips to mine for a long, sumptuous kiss.

"I love you," I murmured as our lips slowly parted.

A tiny smiled danced over his lips, and some of the darkness went missing from his face and eyes. "I love you, too."

We kissed and touched for a long moment before he finally softened enough to fall from inside me. With a sigh, he flopped to his back, and I snuggled in close. This felt so right, as if we'd been doing this for years, not weeks.

"You okay?" I whispered.

He was quiet for a long time, but I said nothing else.

"I will be," he finally said.

"I'm sorry you were forced to... that you had to..."

"Shhhh..." he shushed. "It had to be done."

"I know, but it couldn't have been easy for you."

"No."

"Do you think..."

"What?"

I swallowed hard. "That they'll know it was us?"

"Not us... me. I don't know. All we can do is wait."

I nodded against his chest. "Thank you."

"I had to."

"I know."

I considered Colt's actions. I'd never condone the malicious taking of another person's life, but I felt nothing except gratitude toward him. I'd seen the horror in his eyes before I'd walked away, and I knew he was hurting now. He'd given so much, more than I had any right to ask, but he'd done what he had to, what he'd said he'd do, what he'd always done, despite what it'd cost him. I literally owed him my life and I'd never forget that debt.

I felt no remorse for Alejandro or Marciella. They'd tried to have me killed, and they'd paid the ultimate price. No matter what the law said, I knew Colt wasn't a murder, and I'd work every day to make sure he understood that he'd done the only thing possible. He was my guardian and protector, my knight and hero. I felt a smile tug at my lips as sleep began to cast its warm blanket over me. My knight protector... I rather liked the sound of that.

.

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COLT

I sensed a presence and slowly opened my eyes. Willow was beside me, propped on her arm as she watched me. "Good morning," I mumbled as I tried to shake off the lingering tendrils of sleep.

"Good morning."

I yawned and stretched. "What are you doing?"

"Watching you sleep."

"Why?"

"Because I want to."

I held her gaze for a moment before a small smile danced over her lips, she wrapped her arms around me, and settled on my chest for a long kiss. "Nice," I murmured.

"How are you?"

"Fine."

"Are you really?"

I watched her eyes. Yesterday I'd been a mess. Once I was away from the scene, the guilt of what I'd done had settled over me, squeezing my chest and choking me until I nearly couldn't breathe. I couldn't say I'd killed Marciella without remorse, but she wasn't any less dead. I was still trying to sort out how I was going to live with myself, if I could live with myself, when Willow had begged me to hold her.

When she did, and I took her into my arms, something inside me had shifted. I'd still felt guilty over what I'd done, but my view of the event had tipped and spun, and I realized I'd made the only choice I could. I had no doubt if I'd allowed Marciella to live, Willow would have never been safe. If I had to choose between Willow or Marciella living, if there was no option other than one had to die so the other could live, then it was Marciella who'd be sacrificed. I could, maybe, survive killing Marciella, but I knew I wouldn't be able to endure allowing Marciella to live in Willow's place.

Having Willow hold me, helped. Having her assure me she still loved me, helped. Having her tell me that I was still a good person, helped. Holding her in my arms, helped. Waking up with her beside me, helped. I still carried the guilt, and maybe I always would, but I knew at my core, I'd made the right choice, the only choice, and I knew with just as much certainty, I'd make the same choice again.

"No... but I'm better," I replied, my voice soft.

"Do you think you'll be even better tomorrow?" she asked softly, her concern clear in tone and expression.

"Will you still be with me?"

"Babe, I'm going nowhere." She paused and then smiled. "And don't you think you're going anywhere without me, either."

Dammit! I had the sudden, overwhelming urge, to cry, but I fought off my tears. "Then, yeah, I think I'll better tomorrow."

She brought her lips to mine. "I'm here for you," she whispered before she kissed me. After a moment, she slowly withdrew from the kiss. "Do you suppose...?" she began.

"Shh..." I hissed. "Don't ask things like that, not to me, not to anyone, not ever."

She seemed shocked at my rebuke. "Sorry," she murmured.

"I'm not mad, but you know nothing of it, understand? If anyone asks, you followed Alejandro to Marciella's house because you suspected he was cheating on your aunt Pam. You caught them, you sent pictures, you told him to stay, just like Pam said, and then you left. Got it?"

She nodded. "Okay. I understand, but do you think the police will know it was us?"

I didn't know the capabilities of a modern, big city police force, nor did I have any idea how much effort they might put into investigating the two deaths. I'd tried to cover what had happened as much as possible, but I had no way to know if we'd been seen, or if someone heard Willow and Marciella screaming as they ripped each other to shreds. I kept my concerns to myself. She had nothing to do with either death, and if I had to go to prison, I at least knew she was safe.

"It wasn't us, it was me. You had nothing to do with what happened. Remember that, and don't talk about it. Not to me, not to your aunt Pam, not to anyone. Pretend it never happened. All it takes is one slip and we may be answering some very uncomfortable questions. Unless someone asks you about the deaths directly, you weren't even there, and even then, you follow the story... you followed Alejandro, you took the photos, and you left. Understand?"

"I understand."

"Good. You need to delete those texts and the pictures. Pam, too. They're probably on a computer somewhere forever, but there's no point in making it easy on the cops if they come sniffing around."

"Okay, but if I can't tell her what happened, what do I tell her?"

"Tell her nothing. Remember, you know absolutely nothing about what happened. I'll handle it."

She swallowed hard. "If we have to, we'll get you the best lawyers money can buy. You did it to protect me. Any jury can see that."

"Let's try to make sure it doesn't come to that, and the best way to prevent that is to act like it never happened."

"Okay." She paused but then continued. "This is the last time I'll say this, because of what you said, but know it won't be the last time I think about it, and that I'll always be grateful for what you did. So.... thank you. Thank you for everything."

I touched her beautiful face. "I couldn't do less." I held her gaze a moment before I pulled her lips to mine. "Come on," I sighed as the kiss dissolved. "I have to get you to work, and I have to report to the VP of Operations to tell her my assignment is complete."

She didn't move as she held my gaze, and that was all the invitation I needed. I slowly drew her lips back to mine, and when she didn't resist, I knew she was going to be late to work.