Providence Ch. 06

That is, until Isaac came to her. She felt her breath catch in her chest and she hoped he hadn't noticed it. Her cheeks flushed slightly when he took her hand in his, but she stared at him levelly until he finished talking.

Get a grip, Mari, she told herself. It's a fucking funeral for your family! Stop it!

She felt the pangs of guilt grip her heart, and she'd almost broken down at that moment. She immediately withdrew her hand, steeled her voice, and went on to receive the next visitor.

**

At the graveside service, Don could hardly keep it together. That was his friend, being lowered into the ground. He'd been used to burying friends and other soldiers, but burying a child, let alone two, for that he wasn't prepared.

As a result, his quiet sobs joined that chorus. He didn't need to turn his head to hear Kenzo's family crying, but he did anyways, at that moment admiring Mari's strength of resolve. There were no tears on her face, but he did see that her fists were clenched so tight they were turning pink.

That girl is tough, he thought. But toughness can only get you so far, Mari.

He squeezed Liza's hand and prayed silently for his own kids.

Mari saw those coffins being lowered with a curious detachment. It was as if she were on the outside looking in. She could hear the pastor's words, but those sounded far away, under the water. She stood as still as she could, clenching her fists to keep the emotions at bay.

Just gotta get through this, Mari, she reminded herself. You can leave right away.

Her eyes swam with tears, so she held up her head to defy gravity.

If you lose it now, you'll never get back out, she threatened herself.

Finally, it was over. People came by to shake her hand again, give hugs, utter platitudes. As soon as she saw the opportunity, she started walking towards her car. She'd almost gotten to the door handle when she heard someone call her name.

Shit, so close, she thought.

It was Karen, gently reminding her that there was lunch prepared for the family inside the reception hall. She bit back a snark and smiled at the lady. "Thank you for reminding me, Karen. I'm so tired, though, so I think I'll just go home and lay down. Thank you for coming," she said.

Karen hesitated, then said, "Ok Mari. I love you. I'll let your family know. Call me if you need anything, ok?"

Mari nodded. Who in the history of the world actually does that? Gives someone a call when you're in the middle of grieving? She thought.

She'd opened her door when someone else called out her name.

Fuck, she muttered under her breath.

"WHAT NOW?!" she turned around, her annoyance betraying her thin civility.

Her eyes widened as she realized her rudeness and she came face to face with Isaac.

He stepped back reflexively, then took a step forward. "Hey... I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry again. For... this," he said, waving his arm towards the cemetery.

"I uh, I also just wanted to say, I meant it when I said I loved him and the kids. I know people tell you this all the time, but I want you to know that they mean it. Doesn't matter how often you hear it, and I'm sure you're sick of hearing it by now, but it's true. They were loved. He was one of my first friends here, then you, and I've been blessed by your family beyond measure.

I looked forward to dinner at your house. Sometimes it was the only thing I'd look forward to the whole week especially if the kids weren't with me. So uh... yeah, I'm grieving with you," he finished.

She blinked and tried to find the words to reply to him. Instead, she took his hand in his and simply said, "Thanks, Isaac. Really. I needed to hear that. I'm gonna go home now. I need to get out of here."