PtB Ch. 01 - Imbalance

Am I the only one seeing the opportunity and not just the danger?

These weren't fitting thoughts for a bath. He needed to take his mind elsewhere, otherwise it would have been just a waste of time and water. Maybe a quick jerk-off session?

The others are probably just overstressed from all the additional work. They should masturbate more. It always helps me to calm down, even in times like these.

Paul's penis was standing at attention already and waiting for its massage. Should he do it now? He felt a slight bit of shame over his masturbation habit. He was doing it more often lately. Every other day, sometimes more. And he always took his time. A man of his station shouldn't be so beholden to the whims of his body. But it hadn't gotten to the point yet, where it impinged on his ability to fulfill his duties to his and everyone else's satisfaction.

What should I think of today?

Maybe Irulan, the daughter of the Emperor, would be there today. Paul had met her once before at a ball and impressed her with his dancing skills. And she had impressed him with her beauty, knowledge and elegant manners. That was a few years ago. Paul tried to imagine, what she might look like now. There were plans back then for her to be married off to his father someday. Nothing had come of it so far. Soon enough, Paul might become a possible candidate. Irulan would be a good fit. Like him, she was receiving a Bene Gesserit education. She was living with the Sisterhood on Wallach IX. But it was unthinkable to Paul, that she could ever match the skill and beauty of his mother.

Mmhhhh, mother...

Paul grasped his member and started rubbing it lightly. He had free and plentiful access to erotic filmbooks, but he still preferred to think of Jessica much of the time. There was no way to deny it: Paul lusted after his mother. He had come to accept that about himself. He felt no guilt anymore. Guilt is for those, who don't understand themselves and who lack self-control. Jessica was the perfect woman in pretty much every way. Nobody could deny that. And she wasn't shy about flaunting her qualities.

Mother in those skimpy dresses... They accentuate her form. But they also reveal too much of it. She isn't innocent. She likes the attention.

Paul didn't objectify his mother though. He had the utmost respect for her. How couldn't he? Her wisdom, her strength, her effortless grace left him in awe. He loved her genuinely, as a son. But he also desired her body. It was unnatural perhaps, but not necessarily unusual. Most people afflicted by such urges had the good sense to abstain from acting on them. And that's what he intended to do as well. He was going to be a good son. And later a good Duke. This was going to remain his little vice. His secret.

Mother in the bath. The most divine sight in the universe.

Paul had seen her in various states of undress countless times. Jessica wasn't shy about her body, least of all in front of her family. They never stopped taking baths together. It just happened less frequently over time. He never grew tired of the sight of her magnificent body, despite being so used to it. She never seemed to notice his gaze either, or at least she didn't seem to care.

Mother and father in ecstasy. Their moans and her cries of pleasure filling the corridors of Castle Caladan.

They didn't use a cone of silence in the bedroom. Some people said it was bad for sperm production, but Doctor Yueh said that was just a myth. Paul had caught a glimpse of his parents having sex a couple of times. They always kept the doors and windows open on those hot and humid summer nights.

Mother teaching me about sex.

Jessica and Paul had always been very open and frank about topics of a sexual nature. Since he grew up without any peers around him, he also didn't have anyone to talk to about sexual topics on even terms. Jessica remedied that as best as she could. She was present, when Yueh taught him the basics about sex and reproductive anatomy. She always found ways to infuse those boring lessons with the appropriate warmth and sensuality and make sex sound like fun. She even gave him advice about masturbation. "Don't be ashamed about it. We all have the urge sometimes. But only do it to clear your head and when you feel starved of love, never out of boredom".

Now he had to get her out of his head. He jerked faster.

Yes, yes...

And then the door opened and his mother stood before him.

"At least you're facing the door this time.", she quipped

Paul's cheeks flushed and he sat up, to make his boner disappear beneath the water. But the tip still stuck out. He wouldn't have been so embarrassed about this situation under normal circumstances. But the fact, that he was just thinking dirty thoughts about her and now she was standing before him, made him feel like he got caught.

"Sorry to disturb you, Paul. I don't want to spoil your daily masturbation session."

"Bi-daily."

"Sure. Something has come up. Have you heard the announcement on the intercom?"

"Yes."

"It turns out the Emperor isn't coming without his trusted truthsayer. The Reverend Mother is with him."

"Oh?"

"I am sure, that she will take this opportunity to observe you. She might even pay us a visit."

"Well, I am honored."

"You should be careful."

"Of what?"

"Just... be mindful. Her opinion of you is very important to me."

"I will be on my best behavior...Anything else?"

Her eyes lingered on his penis for a second, as it slowly deflated and sank into the water.

"Don't take too long."

And with those words, she left.

Did she look a bit worried just now? Paul took a look at his sunken manhood and decided to postpone the finish of this session. His thoughts were again occupied by more pressing matters and he hurried through the rest of his bath, so that he had enough time left for a quick meal.

Paul didn't pay much attention to the food on the table. He knew exactly what to expect. His diet was highly regulated. He was too impatient for a full meal anyway. He just popped open the vial of Spice and poured it all into his coffee. The smell of cinnamon filled the room. That amount of Spice was worth around 150,000 solaris. This stuff was the whole reason for their journey. The most valuable commodity in the whole universe. The Spice prolonged life and extended awareness. It allowed the navigators of the Spacing Guild to calculate safe routes and steer ships at translight speeds. Without this substance there could be no long-distance space travel and therefore no Empire. Their very lives depended on it. Literally. In addition to all the positive effects to health and mental capabilities, it was also highly addictive. Withdrawal was deadly. And this substance was found on only one planet: Arrakis. Dune.

He quickly gulped down the coffee and immediately felt energized.

Paul arrived at the entrance of their transport. Everyone else was already assembled. At the rear of the Atreides delegation stood Gurney Halleck, warrior and troubadour. He was one of Paul's instructors. Paul didn't have any friends his own age. His teachers had to substitute as friends. Out of all his teachers, Gurney was his favorite.

"Paul, good to see you! You're right on time."

"Gurney! You're not glum like the others. What's going on?"

"I'm just happy about a little diversion, that's all. Isn't it nice, that the Emperor is going to honor us with his presence, before he sends us off to that dusty old rock?"

"I see, ever the optimist."

"When was the last time, you've been on a heighliner?"

"It's been a while."

The delegation stepped out of the transport and immediately halted for a second and stood there in awe. No human being could ever grow used to this sight. They were inside one of the cylindrical cargo holds of the Guild heighliner, which would bring them to Arrakis. These ships were a marvel of engineering. This giant room was big enough to have its own climate, with rain and everything. The entire Atreides fleet fit into just one corner of the cargo hold. Everywhere else was filled with freighters. Even during during this momentous event in the history of House Atreides, commerce continued as usual. It put their relative importance in the grand scheme of things into perspective. And it was a stark reminder of the enormity of the cosmos and their own insignificance in comparison. And of the Guild's power.

A barge was waiting to pick them up and dropped them off closer to the Emperor's frigate, which was just landing on the other end of the cylinder. The cargo hold was even more busy today. In addition to the usual ship's crews, maintenance crews, guards and officials scurrying about, there were hasty preparations being made for the arrival of the Emperor. Ships and containers were being relocated. The forward section of the cargo hold was being turned into an impromptu audience hall. The closest Atreides retainers, including Paul and Jessica, were making their way to an elevated gangway, which was to serve as a balcony.

One floor above them, another procession of strange-looking people was moving in a different direction. They were all bald and shy and it seemed like they were trying to slink by the Atreides delegation. But it was impossible not to notice them. The huge gas-filled tank in their midst drew everyone's attention.

Duncan Idaho gave a curt greeting to the group above, but averted his eyes. The others followed suit.

Gurney turned back to Paul and said: "These are members of the Guild. Keep moving. They don't like being seen."

But Paul couldn't help walking slowly and observing the swirling orange cloud inside the tank. It was beautiful, almost hypnotic. Like a thunderstorm in an aquarium.

"Is that spice gas?"

"Yes and there's a navigator inside. Don't look at it."

The tank almost came to a halt as well and the swirling gas calmed down. Paul could peer inside a bit. He could just barely recognize some solid shapes amidst the cloud, but nothing, that he could make out as human. There was a big, bulbous appendage right in front, too big to be a human head. And then another one right next to it. And then above those shapes appeared two shining, dark blue dots. Eyes? If they are, then they are looking straight at me. Paul remembered, that Spice addiction turned the eyes of Fremen blue. Did the Spice also change this navigator's body, only more so? The misshapen figure floated slightly closer and a webbed hand came to rest on the glass. The blue dots blinked. Definitely eyes. Wait. If those are indeed eyes, then the big round shapes below them must be... Kull Wahad! Boobs! Giant Knockers! Yes, he could see a nipple almost as big as his fist! The navigator jerked back and covered up her ridiculous udders with her arms, futilely of course. She soon disappeared back into the orange storm cloud.

Paul quickly swung his head around and went into a brisk walk, soon catching up with the others again. How embarrassing! And disturbing... and... exciting? He was used to seeing his mother's prodigious boobs wobbling about Castle Caladan every day. But these were several orders of magnitude larger. He could feel the onset of an erection strain against his pants. Ugh, why now? I hope she didn't see that. Those abnormal breasts must be another sort of mutation from the Spice. What might happen to a man, if he breathed in Spice all the time? Grape-sized testicles? Maybe that person WAS a man? Uhm...

"Gurney, I saw her!", Paul whispered. "I saw the navigator!"

"You rascal, I told you not to look. Wait, did you say 'her'?"

"Yes. Have you ever seen one?"

"No, but I've heard rumors. What did she look like?"

"I couldn't see much, mainly just eyes, a hand and... gigantic boobies. Like you wouldn't believe!"

"Holy...! Surely they can't be bigger than your mo... uhm... nevermind."

"They are. Significantly."

"Oof. You must tell me everything in detail once we get back! But for now, let's not distract ourselves."

A platform was hastily assembled out of containers in the center and draped in carpets, to serve as a dais. As functional and inornate as this place was, its size alone made it majestic. And with all the splendid looking figures emerging from the Emperor's frigate, several hundreds at least, the barren landscape in front of the platform soon filled with color. Leto and Shaddam met atop the dais. Shaddam was flanked by a Burseg of the Sardaukar, who was holding an oversized decorative sword, which was probably going to be presented as a gift. Leto was flanked only by his favorite pug.

Paul was bored already. As unplanned as this event was, it was still performed like a stale ritual. Platitudes upon platitudes. Nothing heartfelt was said, despite the two being cousins. Earnest words cannot be spoken by such important men in front of so many people, it seems.

With his attention starting to drift, Paul sensed he was being watched from elsewhere. A robed woman entered the throng of court toadies from the side. After she was done mustering Paul, she made her way to the front of the crowd, where her full figure became visible and she watched the exchange of kind words in the center, like everyone else.

That must be her, Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam. What a shock! She did not at all look how Paul imagined her. Her true age was unknown, but from the little bits and pieces of information he could gather from his mother, he figured she must have been... maybe 100 years old? At least 80.

She was... beautiful! Only the silver-white color of her hair seemed to conform to her actual age. And maybe the skin was slightly wilted. Her large breasts were just starting to lose the battle against gravity. But... God, the breasts! They were just as big as his mom's! And the hips and waist were almost the same. Why could he even see all this so clearly? His mother had dressed more modestly than usual for the occasion, but not this lady. Her robe was almost hanging open.

Is this a pattern? Do all Bene Gesserit look and dress like this?

Jessica inspected the Emperor carefully. She could tell, that he was putting on an act, but only barely. He must've practiced this a lot. Could she detect a hint of sadness? But why was he sad? Surely his truthsayer instructed him on how to disguise his emotions. She looked over to the truthsayer now. Her old teacher. Vain as ever. That tricky old hag was deliberately looking away from Paul, practically inviting him to stare at her! Jessica did not dare to interfere, but she would have liked to give him an earful for being so careless and showing weakness. But soon enough the show was over. The old woman was adjusting her robe. But this was just a pretext to make her hands more visible. Only a person taught in the Bene Gesserit way could recognize the hidden message, let alone decipher its meaning. A few subtle finger movements, barely noticeable spasms. In just a few seconds, she had constructed three whole sentences this way. Jessica was able to decode them as soon as they were spoken:

"I have come to test your son. But first I will have to attend a secret meeting between the Guild and the Emperor. Go to my shuttle and wait for me."

A test? So soon? She hadn't expected them to test her son for another few years. She wasn't sure, if he was ready. The last few days had filled Jessica with anxiety, but now for the first time since her almost-banishment from the Sisterhood, she felt actual dread. There were several ways to test an acolyte's humanity. But the results for failure were always the same. Death. And a secret meeting? Was that the real purpose for Shaddam's presence? He came to deal with the Guild? And with his truthsayer in tow, no less. What's the purpose of that?

Paul had also seen the message. He was still deciphering it, as the crowd of onlookers started to disperse. The Emperor and his father had already parted. Test your son. And something about a meeting. Surely mother will know the full message. She was evidently deep in thought right now. What a strange day... So exciting! The images, that this day had yielded, had burned themselves into his memory. He couldn't wait to return to his room, think about them and... let off some steam.

He went over to his mother, to inquire about the message. Jessica spoke to Thufir, who looked displeased but nodded in agreement.

"Paul, we're not going with the others. Follow me."

"Where are we going?"

"The Reverend Mother wants to see you. We are going to her shuttle."

"Is that safe? Should we really go there alone?"

"It has to be this way. The things, that we are going to talk about, concern nobody else. Besides, aren't you glad, that the others can't see the tent in your pants right now?"

Paul chuckled. His mother was joking, but she couldn't hide her anxiety from him.

They took an automatic cable car. Not because they were in a hurry, but just to escape the bustle in the hangar, have some quiet for a moment and prepare themselves mentally.

Paul had never seen his mother so visibly nervous. That couldn't be good. She was controlling her breathing now. Surely she was repeating the Litany Against Fear in her head. This was worrying. He thought, maybe he should follow her example. So he closed his eyes and silently formed the words with his mouth. But he stopped halfway through. It was of no use. The Litany might work against fear, but not against -- he looked down his body -- horniness! His penis was straining hard against his uniform pants. The excitement of uncertainty was adding to all the sexual excitement. His heart was beating audibly. He tried the Litany once more. Maybe he could at least relax the upper half of his body.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

And exhale. Paul felt calmer already, at least in his head. When he opened his eyes again, he could see his mother looking at his erection.

"You are still like that. You can't step before the Reverend Mother with an erection."

"I know. I'm trying my best."

"Use your Prana-Bindu training. Don't worry. We still have time."

"I... I'm not sure how."

"We don't usually teach Prana-Bindu to males, but I'm sure it can be used to deflate an erection. Control your blood flow. I know you can do it. This is a good occasion to put your skills to the test."

Paul was surprised by his mother's sudden calmness, considering the situation. In fact, she sounded almost happy. It must be, that solving this little problem is distracting her from the uncertainty ahead.

Alright then. Paul had practiced cutting the blood flow to certain body parts before. He could stop his cheeks from blushing. And he could make his fingers and toes go numb. But he had never practiced on his penis before. At least not like this. He could make himself cum just through force of will alone, but that wasn't the requirement right now.

Paul was sweating. This was difficult. His mind was fully turned inward now, all his outward senses shut off. As he had never done this before, he couldn't quite "target" his penis yet. So he took his time, started at the heart and let his mind circulate through his veins for a while, flowing merrily downstream, down to the source of his good feelings. And there it was, the root of his shaft. What comfortable warmth he felt. He was reluctant to stop here at the entrance, but he had no choice. As he had found the way to his penis, it was time to return to the heart and redirect the blood flow. But as soon as he turned around, the warmth increased and he began to feel a tingling.