All Comments on 'Pulling the Strings Pt. 00'

You've defined the stories characters don't be to long in releasing the first part of the story. Spending this amount of time promises a long series don't let us down.

Hope there is more excitement than that in the next part

You have potential but your writing is so disjointed that it distracts from the story.

Actually I put the first part to be submitted with this part. But apparently because of punctuation it was sent back. Please wait a few days before I review and post it.

For future reference....you could have condensed all of that into a paragraph for each character.....or, simply let them develop through the story.

After reading that, I couldn't tell you who was who. Too much information scattered all through what you wrote.

Yes. Write it out so YOU can keep the characters straight.

Answer me this.....how many books have you read, where the first chapter was a solid wall of biographical information on characters....and of the very few that do, how many did you continue to read?

Personally, I can only remember 3 or 4 over the last 50 years, and I never finished a single one.

This is something you'll find occasionally in the appendix of books, but even that isn't all that common.

I've read a few stories that may run along the lines of what you envision, that while at their base, are unrealistic, were still written well enough, that it was easy to set that aside.

I really enjoy new takes on the idea that technology can be used in fantastical ways, as long as the premise bares up, to possibility...not necessarily reality.

I hope we'll eventually get to see the idea you're developing.