by Amouteru
Ok its obvious English isn't your mother tongue. A lot of misppellings and grammatical errors. Easily overcome with time and a tutor. Not a bad story. Love reading bout a bitch like this getting put in her place. On her knees with a cock up her ass. Keep going.
The basic story was good and has potential . But the misspellings , case changes , and broken sentences . distract from the enjoyment of the story .As one of my professors told me years ago " learn your trade then fancy - up your story " . Learn your trade .
Find an editor to help you with spelling and grammar. You have a good start just need help with spelling and grammar.
The idea was hot and the basic concept I really liked. Needs a little more proof reading before publishing though. Punctuation and grammar need work. Most distracting though was paragraph 2 when the name changes from Kara to Maria, and I noticed, back to Kara at the end.