PUNKS Ch. 11: The Black Pack

October 1993

On the flight home, Joe had too much time to think. He had a hard time getting the happy hour drama out of his head. He wasn't upset with Tina, except for the fact she put him in the position to be judged and offended by her girlfriends. When he considered none of that would have happened without T telling them so much about their past and his personal life, his attitude shifted. By the time he landed at LAX, hindsight had Joe annoyed with Tina.

Their next phone call did not start off so well. Joe immediately told her his thoughts on the flight home. "Ya know, T, you said they'd be friendly and then you invited a woman who has a grudge against you. Did you know she had this low opinion of me?"

"I know she has a shitty attitude towards men, but not you specifically.'

"Please don't ever put me in the same room with someone like that again."

"I'm sorry, Joe. You know I feel terrible. I never thought she'd say something like that."

"Stephanie teed her up." Joe reminded T.

"I know, and she's already called to apologize. Steph was just teasing and Ramona jumped on it."

"And then she tittered and made the notch in the guitar joke." Joe hated that he felt he had to hammer the point. "You asked for a favor that put me in that place, with those women, and you gave them all the information that led them to these shitty opinions of me."

"It was only Ramona and Stephanie, and Steph was just joking. You know her."

"Maybe you should keep me out of future happy hour discussions. I don't like being the butt of their jokes when I'm not present to defend myself."

"It's not like that, Joe."

"That's what it feels like to me. When someone is offended you can't tell them how to feel." Joe lowered his tone. "I won't make this a fight, T. That's all I have to say about it."

"I'm sorry, Joe." Tina said softly, "I promise to be more discreet."

"And I believe you will," Joe said softly.

Tina was quick to change the subject. "I told you about Troy going golfing this week, right?"

"I don't recall that."

"I told you when you arrived at my office."

"I had just flown cross country and went straight from JFK to your place. I was so disappointed you wouldn't suck my dick that I didn't hear any of that."

Tina ignored his dig. "He's golfing with a client on Cape Cod for a few days. With you leaving for a month, maybe we can talk in the evenings while he's away."

"What nights is he away?"

"It's mid-week, tomorrow through Friday."

"I can do that, T, but not Friday. I have plans."

Troy would be gone for four nights and Tina was determined to take full advantage of his absence. On the first night, she and Joe talked for hours, well past midnight for her. The range of subjects was wide and varied; including art, food, New York, politics, Joe's band, and his life in LA.

"A couple of weeks ago you told me about your crush on Jasmine. You said something about City Of Angels being an accidental band. What did you mean by that?"

"We didn't start as a band. Chico and I were helping Patrice record an EP. He needed players so we volunteered."

"What's an EP?"

"It's like a demo, four or five songs. Bands who don't have enough music for a full CD might record an EP and sell them on the boardwalk, or use as a promotional tool."

"Was Patrice a solo artist, on bass?

"No. He wrote four funk songs and wanted to record them. A lot of people do that, especially rappers. I've recorded dozens of rap EPs of varying quality."

"How did you meet PJ?"

"He was dating one of the Black Pack girls. Janice is kinda the queen of that crew - like you are with the Young Guns."

"I'm not the queen of my friends."

"Yes, you are, and that's why Ramona was a bitch to me, to take a shot at the queen."

"That's Niki's opinion." Tina said, "I don't see it that way."

"I think it's a logical take."

"So you helped PJ record his songs and that led to City of Angels?"

"Yeah. I volunteered Chico and myself. PJ brought in David on drums. I really liked PJs music. We learned and recorded his songs in one weekend, then we just kept jamming. PJ is a beast on bass. I asked if he would play on some songs I had written. I just had to rearrange them a little to marry PJ's style with mine. Over a few weekends, we recorded what would eventually become our debut record. It was an accident."

"When did you start playing out?"

"We felt we had something good. PJ's funk and my punk worked together. We decided to practice some covers in those genres to build a full set. The Black Pack came down to The Surfside in Venice to see our first gig. That was a wild night, the place was overflowing with punks, skaters, Chico's Mexican crew, surfers, and the pack. Everyone loved us and..."

"Was Jasmine there?" Tina interrupted, "did you hang out with her?"

"Of course. We walked out on the beach after the show and smoked a joint."

"Do you smoke a lot of weed?"

"I get high with friends but not usually when I'm alone."

"You're a social stoner the way I'm a social drinker. I don't drink alone."

"A week after the Surfside show we played The Wilshire. We didn't even have a band name yet but those gigs went so well that I booked our bar down in Redondo Beach. The Black Pack traveled. I knew we were onto something because we had wide appeal. Black, white, and brown people loved us."

What Joe hadn't told Tina during this first night of their phone-a-thon was how fortuitous the timing of City of Angels' birth was. Less than a month before PJ's day in the studio, Joe had learned that Tina Costello was engaged to be married. The news was a punch in the gut.

Joe had some tough years after he and T broke up, with periods of depression between his typical punk-loner periods. He had built his new studio in LA, was having fun with The Eldorados, and had many friends. Joe was doing okay in '89 when the engagement news knocked him down.

It dropped him into the pit of despair. He drank heavily and barely worked. Chico had to pick him up off the floor more than once after finding him passed out. It was the funk EP project with PJ, and the forming of CoA, that pulled him out of the gutter. Joe needed a purpose to take his mind off T marrying another man. City of Angels gave him that.

On the second night of their phone marathon, Tina wanted to know more about Jasmine. Joe repeated some of the stuff he had already told her. He included how Janice tried to play matchmaker, pitching her girls like a saleswoman.

"She would give me their backgrounds, academic achievements, and the great jobs they had. Janice literally pointed out their physical attributes to emphasize what fine women they were."

"You mean like tits and ass?" Tina laughed,

"Yeah, that's exactly what she did."

"That's kinda creepy."

"It is creepy to have a matchmaker on your case!" Joe agreed. "It's like she was pimping her girls out. What kind of person pimps a friend? The thing is, I did not need convincing. These women were all hot, fun, intelligent, and fine ladies. I just knew not to mix business with pleasure. Eventually, I had to sit Janice down to tell her to stop."

What Joe didn't tell Tina was that Janice was trying to fix him up because off stage he was still melancholy over her engagement months into City of Angels. Everyone in the Black Pack knew his sad story because Chico enjoyed breaking Joe's balls about his 'New York love sickness'. Janice was convinced one of her girls could set him straight.

"I told Janice her girls are incredible but I'm not interested. I was afraid to fuck it up and ruin friendships. She asked why I was so sure I'd fuck it up and I told her, 'because I always do."

"But you liked Jasmine enough to become close friends." Tina added, "So you clearly put in the effort. We're you planting a seed for the future?"

"I don't know. All I can say is Jasmine and I are effortless," Joe said wistfully. "It's the same with you and me. Friendships like that are rare." Joe paused for a moment, thinking about Jas. "I miss her, but I may see her next week."

"How? Where?"

"Before every tour, we do a tune-up gig at one of the bars we started in. We have to keep it a secret because the first time we did one the crowd was so big LAPD rushed in and cracked heads. Some friends got arrested. It was a crazy scene. The tune-up gig for the Asia Tour is this weekend in Redondo Beach."

"How do you keep it a secret?"

"There's no promotion. The locals show up and pay five dollars expecting a cover band. They won't know we're playing until we appear on stage. The scene still gets wild as word spreads down the beach."

"So you think Jasmine will be there?"

"She always is." Joe said, "the problem is she always has a date."

In the years since they reconnected, Tina and Joe had done well to avoid rehashing their 1984 breakup. The problem this week was, they talked for so many hours they unintentionally wandered into that emotional minefield. Tina was talking about his Providence band from the eighties, The Young Punks, trying to explain her state of mind in their final year together.

"It wasn't just my insecurity about girls on the road, Joe, it was the never-ending road. The thought of being left home alone for years to come scared me. I didn't want that life."

"But you never told me that. We talked about marriage and kids and I said I'd stay in New York and work at the studio when that day came."

"I guess I didn't believe you'd ever break up the band."

"I can't believe this, T. All these years I thought my flying to London and missing your gallery opening is what ended us. Now you're telling me you had doubts long before that?"

"I'm sorry, Joe. You said you wanted the naked truth. Yes, I doubted I could be happy with a life with you touring all the time. You missing my gallery opening confirmed for me that your band would always come first. You couldn't be there for me in my big moment."

"I killed that band because I lost you!" Joe yelled into the phone. He then paused and lowered his tone. "You always came first, T. There was never a doubt. If I missed that tour our company was in serious legal jeopardy. I was fucked no matter what I did. You made sure of that with your goddamn ultimatum."

Tina went silent for a moment. She had opened old wounds they had avoided for this very reason. They both knew the blame game over that painful summer would result. Tina, sensing Joe trying to keep his cool, also spoke softly

"I didn't know you left the band until you were long gone, Joe. It was weeks after the tour ended. When Stan told me you left town and weren't coming back, that's when I realized I was wrong. That band was everything to you, and you just walked away like it was nothing."

"You were everything to me, T. It was always you."

"I didn't know that,"

"I only told you every day of our life together!" Joe stopped to keep his emotions in check. "Every. Goddamn. Day," he nearly whispered. "I told you how much I loved you so often - you stopped hearing it."

That second night of the phone marathon did not end well. What hurt Joe wasn't just Tina's admission that she had thoughts of leaving him before that fateful summer. He had other axes to grind. On the third night, Tina attempted damage control and only made matters worse.

When Joe explained how hurtful and mean she was to him that summer because she was livid that he would miss her gallery opening, she tried to downplay her cruelty and manipulation. Joe had to replay the hurtful words and actions to remind her.

"You called me a pathetic loser!" Joe nearly yelled into the phone.

"I don't remember that, Joe."

"You also don't remember hitting me, but you did. It's like you've conveniently erased all the terrible things you did to me while preserving my mistakes in carbonite."

"What's that?"

"Nevermind."

"I'm sorry I don't remember." Tina tried to calm things down. "I was stressed out of my mind?"

"I know you were, T!" He said with passion, and then went low. "And I was your punching bag, physically and emotionally, for seven weeks. The worst days of my life."

By the end of that conversation, Joe was emotionally spent. It was painful and exhausting. He decided this was a good time to take a break.

"I can't do this anymore, T. I can't dredge up the pain and go through it again. You don't know what losing you did to me. I've told you, but you never had to confront it face to face. You'll never know. I have to stop."

"What do you mean?"

"I need to stop. I'm going away for a month. It's a good time to take a break from us."

"Please don't leave angry with me. Call me tomorrow, at the office"

"I'm not angry, T. I'm hurt. We'll see how I feel tomorrow."

Joe hung up. He didn't call the next day. Tina left a message he ignored. She then emailed him pleading that he talk through this. He replied with four words.

I need a break.

-- Redondo Beach --

The Black Pack always had inside information and would show up in force for the secret shows. At the Nautic Lounge in Redondo Beach, the pack occupied four booths and two tables. The club was barely half full. In the back lot, the band was preparing to take the stage. A pair of warm hands covered Joe's eyes from behind.

"Guess who?"

Joe immediately recognized her perfume.

"Stacey, no, Jenny, no, Donna? Hang on. I know. Don't tell me. Rita?"

She shoved him from behind. "Punk ass bitch."

Before he looked he said, "I know it's you, Jas." Then he turned to see her fabulous smile. She hugged him hard.

"I miss you so much Mister Big Time Rockstar!"

"I miss you too, Jas. How are you?"

"I'm good." She looked at his wiry frame under a sleeveless t-shirt. "Someone needs to buy this boy a sandwich. Are you losing weight? Look at your skinny ass."

"I'm the same I've always been." He flexed his bicep. "I've even gained muscle, toning up with weights." Joe stepped back to check her out. "You look fantastic. Are you gonna be able to dance in those spikes?"

"I'll manage, baby." She smiled. "You just watch me."

"Oh, I'll be watching."

Joe stood around six feet. With her heels, Jas almost met him eye to eye. They chatted for a minute before she excused herself.

"Janice is saving me a seat. I better get in there before the surfer dudes realize you're playing. Can we have a drink after your show?"

"I would love that."

Jasmine hugged him again. Joe breathed her in, the hair, the perfume, all of it. When she walked off Joe watched her the whole way, admiring her long stride and the wiggle in her walk. Jas had a very nice ass. Chico walked up alongside and noticed what Joe was admiring.

"Bro, that chick has the hots for you. Tell me why you haven't hit that. It makes no sense to me."

"Me neither, Chi. Me neither."

When the band took the stage there were maybe two hundred patrons in the bar. An hour later they were well over the 431 fire marshall's capacity and people were still showing up. The overflow gathered outdoors and listened. Joe loved these nights. He missed playing in nightclubs and the closeness of the in-your-face experience with fans.

It was a hot night for October, and the Nautic didn't have the best air conditioning. They opened the windows facing the Pacific to let the ocean breeze in, and the windows facing east to let the heat of the sweaty crowd out. That let the music out to the overflow crowd. The parking lot became a dance floor.

The Nautic was taking the five-dollar cover charge for people standing outside the building. These nights were a gift to the bar, and they cashed in. The band was okay with that. CoA played the gig for free.

Watching the crush of people on the inside dance floor, where it was so crowded no one was actually dancing, Joe kept coming back to Jasmine. All he could see was her smiling face in the crowd, taller than other women, and many men. She waved and blew kisses at him through a three-hour nightclub set with one band break. The beach people paid five bucks and got way more than the 110-minute City of Angels concert set.

During the encore, after midnight, Joe stepped up to the mic. "Thanks to everyone. You've been great. I have a special friend in the room, and I have a message for her." He paused and looked her way. "Jas, I love you, but I must say to you and everyone here, the fucking Lakers suck!" Then banged the chords to open the final song of the night. He laughed hard when he saw her middle finger with a light blue nail polish directed at him - for a long time.

The band hired security to get them out of these small venues. It was needed. After talking with a few old friends at the front stage, Joe found Jasmine in the thinning crowd and took her by the hand. "Let's get out of here."

She waved at her girls and followed Joe. He followed security dudes who were making a hole in the crowd to reach a waiting van. When Janice and PJ saw Jas climb in with Joe, they shared a glance. Janice tapped Jas on the shoulder. Jas looked back and shrugged.

The band and dates, including Chico's pregnant wife Rosey, sat in two booths at a diner in Torrance. They had coffee and pie, some had breakfast. Joe and Jas sat side by side. It was clear to everyone that Joe had finally broken down.

Janice was itching to ask but held back, until she couldn't, "Okay, what is this?" She gestured to Joe and Jas sitting much closer than just friends sit. "Did something change?"

"What?" Joe barked back. "We've always been friends."

"Oh fuck off with your games." She snapped. "What's happening here?"

"Nothing has happened," Joe said flatly.

"Not yet," Jasmine smirked, and then she and Joe tittered.

Joe and Jasmine's giggling alone would annoy a normal person. Janice was not normal.

Two by two, the van dropped everyone off at home. Joe purposely went last so no one would know for certain if he and Jasmine went to his place. It happened that night. Jasmine finally bagged the man she'd been trying to fuck for years. It was epic, for both of them.

The band had five nights before the show at The Forum to launch the tour, then a day off before the long flight to Tokyo. Joe spent every possible moment with Jasmine, fabulous nights at her West Hollywood apartment and his place. They had become a thing.

Jasmine Greene was backstage for the LA Forum show, Joe's special guest, with a lanyard and badge and all that official access stuff. She relished seeing the inner workings of a major rock concert. After holding Jas' hand for the backstage tour, Joe led her away with two Forum security people. He had a special surprise. Security led Jasmine down to the Lakers locker room. Jas was visibly moved by this gesture, covering her face, standing in that hallowed ground for Lakers fans. That Joe would even think to give her this made her emotional. When the emotions passed, she whispered, "If you have the power to empty this room, I'll fuck you in front of Magic's locker."

As far as the Black Pack was concerned, they were a couple. Joe wasn't yet sure what they were, but he knew he wanted to keep seeing Jas and he hoped she'd be around when he returned from Asia.

Late at night, after the Forum show, at his apartment; Jas lay on Joe's bed wearing only the sleeveless T-shirt he finished the show with. It was still moist with his sweat, and she was smelling it. Joe walked into the room in his underwear carrying two cocktails. Jas sat up and took her drink. Joe sat beside her.

"We have all day tomorrow and all night," he said. "The van will be here at 5 AM Monday to pick me up."

Jasmine stared into her drink. "We finally do this and you're running off to Japan."

"I didn't plan it this way. It's not ideal, but I'm glad I'm with you, finally." Joe held his martini up. "Here's to us."

"Us," Jasmine said, clinking her glass against his. They both sipped gin.