PUNKS Ch. 12: Non-Exclusive Clause

"I know you two had an affair. That was the first gossip that Janice gave me. I was actually happy for you because I knew how much you love Tina."

Joe stopped in the doorway and turned to Jas. She didn't like the look on his face. His mouth was open in one of those moments where the brain was processing new information and deciding how to react. He walked back towards Jas and sat beside her on his bed.

"Is there an end to this bullshit?" he asked, "Are there any more secrets of mine that you'd like to share with me?"

"I know you still love her, Joe." Jas put her hand on his. "You can deny it all day. I won't believe you."

Joe didn't respond. He just sat there thinking of the damage done by people digging into his personal life and spreading gossip. He sat with a woman he'd grown to love and he knew she didn't trust him. It killed him.

Jas continued, "I can't help but think she'll someday realize she's with the wrong man, and what would you do?"

"I don't know what I would do."

"Oh please, Joe, at least be honest with yourself. You'd run to her, and where would that leave me?"

"You don't know that, Jas. Please stop pretending you know what's in my head and how I feel."

"I know I can't be your number two. I can't spend my life knowing I'm the consolation prize in your life. She'll always be there, in your heart. I can't share you with her."

"You're not sharing me with her. She's in New York and we're here. I love what we have. I'm moving on, and I want you in my life."

"I know we talk about the future, and I would love that with you, but it's more fantasy than reality," Jas said with emotion weighing on her, "I can't risk having a baby with you. What if I did and she came back?"

"Wow," Joe put his hands over his face, "You must have a really low opinion of me if you think I would abandon you and our child."

"I'm just trying to protect myself. I'm sorry. It's not fair that I said that, but it's what I fear when I dream about a future with you. I think about the ghost of a girlfriend that will haunt me." She pulled his hands down. "Look at me. I'm crazy about you. I want to be with you."

"How can you be with me if you don't trust me?"

"I trust you as far as the New York State line."

Joe decided he wasn't in the mood for Italian after all. He showered and sat on his balcony in his gym shorts, shirtless, watching the sunset. They talked for a while, Joe admitting that Jasmine's point of view was at least logical, even as he rejected it. They were fine, but the mood was sober. Jasmine went home to West Hollywood, their weekend was cut short by a night.

Four months into their relationship, Joe finally knew where he stood with Jasmine. Her keeping their relationship casual had confused him. He thought she didn't trust that he was done with other women. It turns out it was one woman she worried about. Joe could not escape his past.

-- Just Friends --

While Joe was learning to accept where he stood with Jasmine, Tina was still going through a rough patch. Some of her emails had a tone of despair. After considering what Jasmine said about him not being a good friend to Tina, he decided to end his phone prohibition. The first time he called T she was emotional.

"I've missed you so much," she said, "I don't want to lose you as a friend and that's what it's felt like lately."

"I don't know what to say, T, " Joe paused for a moment to get the words right. "I miss you too, but we've had some fights that gut me, and every time you try to explain your side you tell me new things that make me go back and relive that pain. I get stuck in a loop of rethinking what happened to us. I can't do that anymore. I'm trying to move forward, not look back."

"I promise to never open those wounds again," she said. "I'm sorry for hurting you. That's the last I'll say of it."

Joe told Tina he'd call her on occasion, but not the every Monday routine they had in the past. From that day on, he kept his side of the conversation to his life in LA, the changes in his business, and topics that would not cause hurt feelings. Tina talked about her gallery, her people, and New York news. She occasionally brought up her husband's criminal case, and how having Joe to talk about these things was helpful.

"This means a lot to me, Joe," she said at the end of their second phone talk. "I didn't realize how much until we stopped talking."

"I'm trying my best, T." Joe said, "I want to be able to do this, to be good friends who can talk about anything, but we can't."

"I've learned that lesson the hard way."

"We both have."

Tina called Joe on Troy's poker night, something she had done a few times when they first reconnected. Joe sat on his balcony watching the sunset as she told him tales of FBI agents and federal prosecutors. He listened, but he had very little to offer because his thoughts were harsh and hurtful. He kept those to himself.

"I know you don't care about Troy's problems," she said, "and I get it. Is there something else you want to talk about?"

"You called me, T."

"I was thinking about something last weekend. I went home to have dinner with Mom and Dad and went upstairs. Do you remember the time we fucked in my childhood bedroom?"

"I do," he said, "We went to Brooklyn for dinner and football and we got snowed in. Your dad made sure we slept in separate rooms, but you weren't having it."

"Me? I'm pretty sure you snuck into my room at 1 AM."

"Because you told me to."

"I don't remember that. Anyway, the idea of fucking with them in the next room turned me on."

"Hey, T," Joe interrupted. "Are you taking me down a phone sex path?"

"I wasn't planning that."

"We often didn't plan phone sex. It just happened. I just don't think we should go there."

"Why not?"

"You're married in New York. I'm here in LA. I have to stop deluding myself into believing we might be together again. Phone sex only makes it harder for me."

Tina sighed, "Alright. I understand."

"I'll always be your friend, T. You know that. I just have to keep it real and not get caught up in a fantasy. And we can't revisit our stupid history."

Joe felt terrible saying these things, but it was how he felt. He was trying to be honest with Tina. He was moving forward and working hard not to fall back into his old habits with her. Joe wanted to have phone sex. It was fun. He just wasn't going to allow himself to be that weak.

Besides, he was having plenty of sex with Jas, something Tina still didn't know about.

-- Same As It Ever Was --

Jasmine's ability to let her and Joe's differences not affect her mood and attitude was impressive. Every Friday she showed up in a delightful, happy-to-see-you mood regardless of how they left off last week. Most weekends were fantastic, fun, and without drama. Lately, there were a couple of frank discussions that left Joe feeling like crap.

Jas was beginning to learn that Joe was overly sensitive at times and she had to be careful what she said on a few issues, his former love life being a big one. She never again mentioned the old Black Pack gossip, and she didn't speak Tina's name.

Joe wanted more from Jasmine, but she wasn't budging on her position. He did well to not allow this to affect their time together. He wanted her to keep coming back, so he pushed those feelings aside and did everything in his power to make her happy and to show Jas how he felt about her.

Even after he was hit hard by the realization that she didn't trust him enough to plan a future, Joe remained steady in his mission to prove her wrong and win her over. Their relationship did not change, it was the same as it ever was, as good as it ever was.

Joe looked forward to Fridays. He'd spend the afternoon straightening his place, planning meals, and shopping for food and beverages for the weekend. Jasmine always appeared with a bright smile and kissed Joe as if she was madly in love with him.

This is where Joe's confusion came from. Jasmine's pragmatic caution and unwillingness to be more than fuck buddies didn't match her behavior. She was excessively affectionate and passionate. Joe had a hard time reconciling her words with her actions.

Within minutes of arriving on a Friday, Jas sat on top of Joe, his cock deep inside her. She ground her pussy on him, slowly, feeling his rock-hard shaft rub her G-spot.

A few minutes earlier, in Joe's kitchen, he had barely said hello when her lips found his. She practically dragged him into the bedroom. After sucking his cock to get him hard, she pushed him onto the bed and took over.

Jas took Joe for a long ride. Her lust for him could not be more obvious. He liked the way she took charge in bed. This time she was in no hurry to cum. As she wiggled and squirmed on his cock. Jas kissed him tenderly from above.

"You feel so good inside me," she whispered. "Her lips touched his as she spoke. "I've been thinking about this moment for days."

"Are you like this with all your boyfriends?"

"What do you mean, all my boyfriends? How many do you think I have?" She had her G-spot riding his bone perfectly.

"I think it's just me," Joe said, realizing the error in choosing his words. "I meant other guys you've dated. Are you this eager and insatiable with them?"

Jas kept grinding. "I'm not insatiable. You take very good care of me," she said while pushing herself up to ride him harder. "I went all week thinking about you. I couldn't wait another minute."

Jas rose up, Joe's knobby head nearly popped out from her pussy, then she slid down pushing him deep inside her again. Up and down, no longer grinding, she started fucking with purpose. His entire cock was being used. Joe reached up for her fabulous tits. He played with her long hard nipples. Jas fell forward, putting her hands on each side of his head and her titties in his face. Joe took her nipple in his mouth, sucked her, and nibbled lightly.

"Oh, baby. That feels so nice," she said, her hair falling into his face. "I like those tiny bites."

Jas rode his cock a little faster as he sucked her tits, moving between them to give each sister equal attention. Jas moaned. Her tummy slid against his, harder, her pace quickening again.

"Oh, baby," she groaned as she felt herself getting close. She pushed herself up, sitting tall, and bounced hard

Joe reached down with both hands to grab her ass. He squeezed her bum hard, leaving finger impressions on her beautiful, brown bottom. Jas screamed as she exploded on his cock, her muscles spasming, and clenching, as she kept riding, pushing her G-spot against him. She rode out her orgasm and then fell forward, kissing Joe while still lightly massaging her pussy on his rod.

"Are you close, baby?" she said breathlessly, "What can I do?"

"Can you make me a taco," Joe laughed, "I'm starving."

Jas pushed up and slapped his chest. "That's not on the menu. Not yet."

Jasmine moved up on her knees. Joe's cock slipped out of her pussy. She slid down, kissing his chest, and his tummy, and found his head with her mouth. She took him between her lips and began sucking, her hands on the bed on each side. Jasmine worked him hard, sucking his knob and most of his cock in a sprint to climax. She bobbed up and down, sucking with intention, trying to will the cum from his body. It wouldn't take long. Jas knew how to get her man home.

Joe grabbed her head as he gushed inside her. She swallowed as his load filled her mouth, sucked more cum from his shaft, and swallowed again. Her hand went to his base, squeezed, and pulled the last drops through his shaft and tip. Jas sucked him slowly for a while. Joe watched her. He liked the sight of her long, manicured, painted white fingernails wrapped around his cock. She pulled off with a big smile and cum on her lips, using her polished nail to push it into her mouth.

"Are you good?"

Joe nodded.

Jasmine rolled off the bed and onto her feet in one swift motion. "What's for dinner? Did you say tacos?"

"I slow-cooked pork shoulder this afternoon," he said, "carnitas tacos or a quesadilla, whatever you wish, with rice and beans."

"Sounds yummy," she said as she walked into Joe's closet. She came out seconds later slipping a Clash T-shirt over her head. Jasmine always helped herself to Joe's shirts. She slapped his belly. "C'mon, I'm hungry. Your load wasn't that big."

"I told ya," he smiled, "you're insatiable."

Standing at the kitchen island, shredding a still-warm pork roast with his fingers and a fork, Joe went back to his earlier thought.

"I want to know, are you this passionate with other men? You might be the most lustful and eager woman I've ever been with."

Jasmine smiled while removing tortillas from a plastic bag. "I'll take that as a compliment. You've known a few girls, so that's a huge honor." She was half mocking him, and Joe knew it.

"I'm serious, Jas. Is this just you and how you are, or is it us, and how we are together?"

Jas moved to Joe's side. Her hand went to his cheek. She turned his head toward her and kissed him. "It's us. I'm crazy about you. I wait all week for this. It's the best, Joe. We're the best."

Joe nodded, never breaking from his meat-shredding duty. "Good. I was hoping you'd say that. So no other men are seeing this side of you?"

"I didn't say that. I like to fuck, and when I want it, I'll take it." She sighed, "Baby, we have something special that makes it better."

"That's a shame." Joe shook his head. "Those guys get the discount Jasmine and I'm getting USDA prime Jas."

Jas laughed and shoved him. "There's nothing discount about me." She went back to her chore of preparing to fry corn tortillas. "Two weeks back I went out for drinks with a guy. He's very nice. He's handsome and I like him."

"What's his name?"

"Marcus. He works at the Children's Hospital."

"Was that a first date?"

"No, we've had drinks a few times, but we've never fucked. I think he's getting frustrated with me."

"Why haven't you fucked poor, frustrated Marcus?"

"That's what I'm getting to. I don't know. I honestly believed I was going to fuck him that night, but then I didn't. We kissed in his car. I had my hand on his crotch, and then I just wasn't feeling it."

"His cock is so small you couldn't feel it?"

"No," she laughed. "I wasn't feeling what I needed to feel. That was the first time we kissed, and there was no spark. He wasn't a great kisser. That's a big thing for me, kissing. The first time you and I kissed I was so happy. I knew right then we'd be great together."

"So bad kissing Marcus was thrown out at first base?"

"It wasn't even close." Jas giggled, "I realized I wasn't into him as much as I thought I was." Jas stopped working and turned to Joe. "Have you ever had that happen? You want to fuck someone and just when you think you're about to, you realize - nope?"

"Yes, it's happened several times," Joe said, "it's usually about me getting cold feet. I worry where fucking will lead us. Sometimes that's not a good place."

"Thank you for saying the words I couldn't come up with. What if I fucked Marcus and he wanted more than I'm willing to give, as in a relationship? How much of a hassle would that be for me? I have to see him twice a week at his hospital. I don't need that hanging over me."

Joe squeezed Jas' ample bottom. "I can't imagine fucking you and not wanting more."

"Thank you." Jasmine turned to him. "I couldn't say that, but I've never had a one-night stand. They always come back for more." She kissed Joe softly. "And you keep coming back."

"So, you're dating other guys on weeknights and you're with me on weekends. How would that work if Marcus wants more?" They both got back to work on dinner.

"That's what I wonder. I'm not giving you up for him, not even one weekend. So what's the point?"

"Have you had any weeknight fucks?"

"A couple," Jas said, " How about you?"

"No. I live a very small life here. I go days without leaving Venice. If I hook up and she gets the wrong idea, I can't escape. Everyone knows me and where I live."

"It sucks to be famous."

"Sometimes it does," Joe said half under his breath.

"Fuck! I ruined the first one." Jas held an oil-soaked tortilla with tongs.

Joe looked over. "You have to wait. The oil isn't hot enough. Toss that one and give it a minute."

"Sorry." Jasmine moved to Joe's side, standing very close. "Two weeks from tonight I won't be here. I'm going to a UCLA alumni event with a college boyfriend. I don't know what's going to happen. We might fuck for old times sale, or maybe not."

"How long did you date this guy?"

"Most of my senior year and the summer after." Jas paused for a moment, "Ricky calls me the one that got away, so I have to be careful. We're just friends and I worry about complicating my life." Jas put her arms around Joe. "I love what we have, baby. It's not complicated. I know you want more, but you're also patient and willing to meet me halfway."

Joe smirked, "It's either take what you're giving me or push you away by being too pushy."

"Not all men get that," Jas kissed him.

"Not all women get that." Joe looked over at the pan of oil. "Get back on tortilla duty."

"Yes sir." Jas went back to work.

"What do you want to do tonight," Joe asked, "after dinner?"

"Smoke a joint and go for a long walk on the beach after dark."

"I'm down with that."

For the remainder of that weekend Joe thought about Jasmine dating other men on weeknights, and maybe fucking them. He wasn't hurt. Joe knew that was part of the deal they had. He was mildly concerned that maybe he was being foolish. Jas was clearly more committed to the non-exclusive clause of their contract than he was. It was another sign that she wasn't close to a change of heart.

He appreciated her honesty and willingness to discuss their relationship, and what she was doing when they weren't together. It didn't matter. He was not going to change what he was doing with Jas. She said she was crazy about him. For now, that was good enough.

-- Under Pressure --

Over the phone with Joe, Tina was explaining the difficult week she was having at home and at the gallery. The Feds had been pressuring Troy and his co-defendants to cooperate and take a deal they offered with reduced sentences. Troy immediately declined. One defendant, a man with children, caved. Two other defendants were still undecided.

She likened the pressure she's under to past periods when her business caused her great stress. Tina made the mistake of bringing up 1984 as one of those stress points in her life, recalling how her gallery's construction delays made her miserable. She was whining about how difficult their last few months together were. Joe pounced on the subject, taking her by surprise.

"Yes, I'm painfully aware of how stressed out that summer was for you. Didn't we already have a fight about this?

"Joe, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to bring that up. I'm talking about my business."

"After we had that last fight I realized something. I was right about us all along."

Tina didn't like the sound of that. "What do you mean?" she said timidly.

"Do you remember that rough patch we had in eighty-three when I felt I didn't belong in your world, and you laughed me off?"

"Vaguely," she said.

"Vaguely because you weren't listening. You dismissed my concerns."

"Is this about the art snobs?"

"Yeah, the people in your circles who shit on me because I was an uncultured, uneducated punk rocker with no money. They couldn't believe I had you. Those old fucks didn't know what you saw and me."

"Joe, you comported yourself quite well at those gallery events. I was proud of you. Gail Mortenson and John Harmon loved you."

"They were the only ones, T. The rest were condescending and disrespectful. I had more servings of cold shoulder than I could stomach. When I tried to talk to you about it, you dismissed my concerns as insecurity."