QT Q 01

QT Q 01

"Well, I won the dare anyways, so."

"Oh, you did not win the dare, Sid. No where in your dare did you include the word "only" when you dared me to wear female undies for this perverted TV watch mixer of yours, so my True Crime program is on channel 3 if you don't mind because I won the dare and all."

"Well, where did all of this come from anyways? I thought you might pick up a cheap pair of undies from the department store to secretly wear and not to show up at my place looking like all this and all, so. I mean, this is full bore and all (and way hot)."

"Channel 3, please."

"Well, fine, so what do you want from me for splitting the dare victory with you then?"

"Oh, not much, but you can call me QT Q and turn on channel 3 please. Tonight's series is Swamp Killers and all, so."

"QTQ?"

"Ugh, no, it's QT Q, like Cutie Q and not QTQ and all, so."

"Can I text Vic and Fred then, QT Q?"

"You may not do that, Sid."

"Well, can I at least sit next to you on the couch then, QT Q?"

"You may do that, Sid."

"And you're not adding "but keep your hands to yourself" and all?"

"Well, not just yet, but you are the first to see me this way in person, so."

"So, um, so you're pretty good with the makeup and all then, QT Q?"

"Oh, um, Sid, um, I have been doing this at home for over two years, so."

"What? You have to be kidding me! And just now I find out about this?"

"Well, it's hard to judge how people might react to this type of thing and all and I do like having friends, so."

"Um, ah, QT Q, um."

"LOL, we will not be getting naked tonight, Sid. Oh, nor will I getting on knees tonight either, if that's where your boner brain was going to go next. Un-mute the TV, please."

"But, QT Q, um, well."

"LOL, if the girl who gets killed and dumped in the swamp tonight is wearing a dress, we'll talk about something, but if the girl is wearing jeans or shorts, well, you've had blue balls before, right?"

"Whoa, whoa, did you just?"

"LOL, nope, I'm just funning with you Sid. And if you keep secretly trying to text the guys, I'll be out of in a flash, Sid, so. Ooh, ooh, it's Detective Duran, he gets the best true crime cases and all, so hush. But you can scoot closer. As long as this is between us, well, other human skin feels pretty nice and all, so."

Oh, well, he scooted over quick enough, right? I mean, he would hush so I could watch my program, but I think some out that was because of how I gently slapped him on the face when he talked during the program. I mean, I just said it, right? It's Detective Duran investigating yet another crime in the swamps and all, so.

Anyways, hello people, I go by QT Q and I used to be a closet cross dresser until my idiot friend Sid thought he was going to have a dare win over by daring me to wear female undies while we watched his motor head TV program as his victory. Well, well, right? Besides, it's nice dressing in the safety of one's home, but geez, right? Once you realize another human gets excited over you and all, right?

"Well QT Q, I think you won that one because you watch these shows a lot and all, but are you sure the girl wasn't wearing those skorts things so it was a tie and all?"

"Well, there was a lot of swamp grass in the camera shot and all, so let's trade one secret each then."

LOL, like showing up at his if full drag wasn't a big enough secret, right?

"Fine QT Q, do you have a bald beaver and for just how long have you been that way?"

"Oh, well, unfortunately, I don't have the beaver part, but I have been shaving since I slipped on my first pair of female undies, so like two years. And I suppose our days of the past let you know long ago that I don't need to shave my legs much. So, my turn? Mm-mmm?"

"Ugh, yeah, but no fair asking me if I'm secretly gay for you right now, so."

"Fine, Sid, I won't ask that, but are you secretly gay for me right now?"

"Um, whew, hey, the next program is coming on all, so."

"LOL, I need to go now, Sid, but I really enjoyed this and the chance to step out of the closet, so thanks. Also, LOL, if you would have dared me earlier to watch TV topless, LOL, I may have responded in your favor, you know, as long as you covered me up with a whip cream bikini and all, so good bye, Sid."

Anyways, I understand that Sid woke up within a few hours when Vic and Fred came over to check on him and LOL, they both said that he woke mumbling my name because he remembered how I kept gently slapping his face for talking during the program. Which I wish I was there to see because I'm pretty sure that Vic would have been slapping him awake with much more vigor than my playful slaps.

And the whip cream was just a joke. I mean, it melts and makes a mess pretty quickly, right? I mean, unless were to wipe my chest with a towel or a tongue.

And then true to form, well, Sid blabbed, like I knew he would.

"Oh, I'm sorry Fred, but the true crime shows on Friday nights are all reruns and stuff, but if you say that you have a fresh can of whip cream in your refrigerator, well, I have some strawberries that I can slice and I have some short cakes, so maybe I'll bring what I have and then you bring what you and then we can have a fresh sweet dessert down the river. I mean, I need an hour or so to get ready, alright? Yes, I'll dress and yes, I'll dress for the warm evening, but listen, it's QT Q and not QTQ, OK? What? It makes all the difference you bonehead! QT Q, got it?"

I mean, I did have some fresh strawberries that I already sliced and had soaking and the short cakes are nicely packaged and all, so? Add plastic spoons and Fred's whip cream and it's a dessert date, right? Besides, that left a fresh can of whip cream in my refrigerator for later and all, so.

"Sorry about the ponytail and all, Fred, but I didn't have time to pretend I can wear my hair down as well as Miss Popular T-Girl Ellie on Chang, so."

"Ah, yeah, that's what I noticed alright, um, Q T Q."

"OMG Fred, it's QT Q! Like Cutie Q, alright? And not like Cute Tee Que, alright?'

"Ugh, well, damn, girly boys be trouble, but alright, QT Q."

Well, his efforts deserved a lean over cheek kiss and all, so.

"Drive it like you own, Fred. These dessert plastic containers are sealed tight and the paper bowls are in the plastic wrapper bag, so."

OK, never tell a motorhead to drive it he owns, especially when he's a motorhead and he does own it!

"Sorry Cutie Q, but you said it and all."

"Well, point Fred, I guess. Let's just give my blood a chance to get back inside of my veins and I'll prep our dessert and by the way, I suppose you can call me Cutie Q tonight, but you better figure out how to say QT Q for the future!"

I mean, guys, right? There's always a short cut and an easier way, right?

"Because we have had a moment before, Cutie Q? And yes, Cutie Q is the same as QT Q."

"Now, now, Fred, let's not call that a moment, well, wasn't it an awkward moment? I mean, I wasn't dressed and all, so awkward, right?"

"LOL, like you weren't a cute boy at the pool and all, but yeah, it was awkward for a moment. Wow, smell those strawberries, right?"

"Well, the strawberries are doing most of the work, Fred, but I am pretty handy in the kitchen, so. But listen, um, this is my first time out and all especially to the river park, but, um, um, Fred, are we the center of attention from the vehicles right around us? I mean, did you park in someone's spot?"

"LOL, oh, it's just, well, let's just say that good old Fred is getting a little extra cred with the motorheads, that's all."

"Oh, oh, cool, um, right? Um, did you want some A+ cred with your boys? I mean, what would happen if you take your fat can of whip cream and point the nozzle directly at my leaning and open mouth and then you filled my open mouth completely to my red lips with your whip cream? Mm-mmm? And you know, fill my mouth with your whip cream like you own it!"

OK, never tell a motorhead or any other guy for that matter, that he can impress his friends by filling your mouth full with whip cream from his nozzle! Up to the edges of your red lips. Without being 100% prepared.

Squirt, squirt, squirt.

"Damn it, QT Q, you're my wife now!"

"LOL, well (gulp), let's not go that far Fred, but the truth is that I made our awkward moment at the pool last a little longer than it had to, so. Anyways, (gulp, tongue swipe), is there any whip cream left in can for our desserts?"

Well, there was because, wow thankfully, I have a small mouth, not to mention that I had to push him back pretty quick or you know, be the first person ever to die from swallowing too much whip cream!

"That's a lot of incoming texts blowing up your phone, Fred."

"And I'm Second Head motorhead now QT Q! Also, um, did you bring any extra strawberries and short cakes because apparently the way you, ah, "eat so daintily" has caught Dan's attention and apparently his girlfriend, Cathy, thinks so too, so. Well, Cathy may still be thinking about the whip cream squirt and all, but are you sure this is your first time out, QT Q?"

"LOL, it is my first time out and it's with my favorite awkward moment guy and which hot rod is this Dan guy and his girlfriend Cat Cath in? And give me few of the paper bowls and plastic spoons."

And here's what I learned from lurking around Chang chat rooms for a few years, if there is girlfriend, then you always, always, always approach from the girlfriend's side. Which would provide a few others nearby a chance to check out my short cakes, but that's how things go, right? Oh, the other thing I learned is that never ever break eye contact with the girlfriend because your throat could be slashed opened and that if seemed safe to peek around to scope out the environment, well, be quick about and get back to direct eye contact with the wild tiger that could your days of shaking your short cakes.

I mean, I had to see what she was wearing and all, right?

"Um, Cat Cath, if you could just hold the paper bowls steady so I don't spill any strawberries on that amazing Denim mini you're wearing, we'll just get this dessert party started and all, alright Cat Cath?"

"Hold up there QTQ, we."

"Um, it's QT Q, Cat Cath, not QTQ."

"Cutie Q?????"

"Close enough for now, so you were saying and putting your claws away, Cat Cath????"

"Well, QT Q, thanks for noticing my skirt and might I say that you could have worn shorter shorts and all, but first things first. Squirt me in my mouth with your whip cream and make it quick while everyone is looking, even though half of them seem to be looking at your short cakes as you lean further into Dan's car than you need to. So? Half a squirt sweetie."

Squirt, squirt.

"Yum, yummy, yum and pull your eyeballs back in your head, boyfriend Dan! Anyways, spoon away with your berries sweetie and you know, tell us how you and Freddy know each other."

Well, listen, I don't know all of the body type lingo and all, but Cat Cath's Denim skirt was stretched tight by her thighs and there was a left thigh and there was a right thigh and there was no space in between them and they were golden and it was hot as hell! I mean, not that I was staring or anything.

"And well, um, that's when Fred and I ended up sharing the changing shed by accident and well, it was pretty innocent and all, but I liked it. So, I guess this bowl of strawberry short cakes is for your very fit and triangular boyfriend, Dan then, right?"

"Squirt me QT Q. The jugheads don't seem to be finished with your short cakes just yet. And how innocent sweetie? Like a bump and run innocent thing or like bump, freeze in place and then run?"

Squirt, squirt, squirt.

Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact, maintain eye contact!

Gulp, tongue flash, gulp, tongue tease.

Don't stare at her tongue, don't stare at her tongue, don't stare at her tongue!

"Hmmm, is there a bump, freeze, poke, peck, poke, hump, (big hump) and then run, Cat Cath?"

"Hmmm, Cat Cath likes that! Anyways, LOL be careful how you back up away from Dan's sports car and all QT Q, LOL, your short cakes are still on the menu! Call me, QT Q."

See? You can learn a few things from Chang chat rooms! I backed into up a random guy, who backed back and my throat wasn't slashed and Dan was still going to lucky and I filled Cat Cath's mouth full of whip cream twice and I'm calling it sex!

"Um, did you enjoy all that, QT Q? I mean, first dates don't usually go this well. Or involve other people at the river park!"

"Well, I got caught up with things and there were extra squirts of the whip cream and then I glanced over at you and you were smirking and have you ever seen her thighs and then that guy wanted to check that my short cakes were fresh and you're still my favorite awkward moment, Fred, so squirt me Fred, squirt me with your (whip) cream and punish me!"

OK, never fully explain things to a motorhead and then ask him to punish you for it like he owned with the rest of the whip cream. Also, always, always reseal the plastic strawberry container tightly. Also, there were a lot of horns beeping, so I guess my punishment was a good punishment.

"Wow, QT Q, this has been the best date ever and OMG, in just the short walk that you and your short cakes made back to my sports car, well, Cathy is throwing a mixer tomorrow night and we're invited! Well, you're invited but the text came through my phone, right? Anyways, so, are your shorts ruined now from the spilled strawberries and juice?"

"Well Fred, they are probably ruined, but the truth is that I think they are a little long on my legs anyways, but I thought it would be best to look a little more modest for you on our first date. I mean, I was going to remove them for you anyways as my favorite awkward moment, you know, if you wanted to have me as your favorite cookie tonight and all, so."

OK, never ever tell a motorhead to peel out because he could have his favorite cookie. That's all.

"OMG, I messed up by letting you out of the pool changing shed, QT Q!"

"Well and I messed up by letting you act all shy and stuff that day. And by the way, I know that sucked, LOL, literally, but that was my first time and all, so."

"Um QT Q, are we, um are we now?"

"Are you ready for the shit storm that society and our friends will rain down on us if we were, Fred?"

"Ugh! I mean, um, stupid freaking society, QT Q!"

"(Lips on lips on lips on lips!) Relax Fred, um, I'm pretty happy right now as your favorite cookie, so."

Huh, never tell a guy that you promise to get better at, well, never mind all that, he got his favorite cookie and holy snap, his recovery time was quick! But I was still happy and my first date and my first time for sex was behind me, so on to Cat Cath's party!

"Um, QT Q, people our age don't really gift bags to a general mixer, but you know, what did you bring?"

"Well, two bottle of wine, two cans of beer, two cans of whip cream and in this bag, well, I have a friend who works at a clothing store, so it's a leather and cloth infused Bustier that's almost appropriate to wear in front of people that you know and it has tie strings in the front and tie strings in the back and it has those full cut modesty undies like the dancers wear and it has matching..."

Swipe, grab, swoosh, return for a quick hug and a butt pat, swoosh.

"And it has matching stockings!!! Cat Cath??? Fishnets and pantyhose nylons???? Hello???"

Well, I didn't know that people our age didn't bring gift bags to the host of the mixer. Also, well, two cans of beer seemed like a lot to me and all, so.

"Well, QTQ, I'm..."

"Ugh, Triangular Body Dan, it's QT Q, not QTQ. And I'm sorry, I thought two cans of beer was a lot of beer and all, so."

"Ugh yourself, Cutie Q, I'm getting sexed hard tonight because of your gift bag! And tomorrow night too probably, so you rule, QT Q."

"Well, I'm happy that I could help and all, so. And holy snapping snap, wow, um, look at your woman and all, right? I mean, LOL, everyone else is and all, right?"

"Ooh, um, I need to go QT Q, so, anyways, we don't care about you and Fred and there will be no shit storm coming from this crew, so. And the two cans of whip cream were balanced out with the two cans of beer that you brought, but take Fred along to the party store next time anyways."

"Well, thanks Dan and um, LOL, I'll kiss Fred hard tonight for that. Unless he wants his hard another way, right? LOL, go, your jungle lust woman is gleaming and all, so. Oops, and not to mention that your jungle lust woman may have forget to tighten a few strings in the front."

Well, I like the light shades of animal print and it a nice mix of black leather strips and all, so.

"Wow, QT Q, Dan is going to get sexed up tonight because of your gift bag, right? And the next time you "have the beer covered" at the party store, well, just take me along anyways, OK? But the two bottles of wine were cool. So, um, well."

"Ugh, Fred, we're at mixer with people around and all, but I feel it too given the success of my gift bag and all, so."

OK, um, people, how does it work when as the new kid on the block, people take to your short cakes and gift bags right away and then the mixer hostess takes you by the hand and leads you into a back bedroom and then all the other people are still just outside of that bedroom mingling around the house and then you have some privacy for a while and then afterwards, no one blinks an eye? I mean, I wasn't complaining and all, but is that the normal these days?

And why did Cat Cath burst through that bedroom door a few minutes and throw a can of whip cream at Fred and I with such a wild smirk on her face? And not blink an eye for catching me doing what I was doing Fred? I mean, did Cat Cath wink at me? And spread a few Bustier front tie strings open?

End QT Q 01