Quaranteam - North West Ch. 19

"The FBI is busy as hell right now," Miriam said. "At least as far as I know."

"So it's me," I said.

"It can't just be you. You'll need support of some sort," Miriam said quietly.

"I'll ask for it if I need it," I said. "So maybe come up with a list of people who might want to run an off-book mission in the backwoods."

"You'd be surprised how many people I know who would do that if I asked," Miriam said. I'd forgotten that she'd been working with the Pararescue specialists through Intelligence. She reallydid know some badasses.

"Well, like I said, I'll let you know," I said. "It'll take a bit to figure out where these bastards are coming from."

"And what are your girlfriends going to think of that?" Miriam asked. "Or yourother girlfriends?"

"I'm going to pretend I don't know what the fuck you're talking about with that 'other' comment," I said. "And I'm pretty sure Erica and the girls won't be happy about it. I think I'm going to move them to that place I told Captain Bloomberg about."

Miriam raised an eyebrow. "That's safer than here?"

"It's a total secret to the local community," I said. "No one knows it's there. That's safer than here right now."

She frowned behind her mask but nodded. "I need to get back to things. There'll be airmen here within the hour - I already have a truck driving out. And not those National Guardsmen, real Air Force goons. Is there anything else you need?"

"A nap, a general raising of the national average IQ, and an end to world hunger," I said.

"Sorry, soldier," Miriam said with a smirk. "No can do on any of those."

"I'll make do with a visit from you that isn't preceded by gunfire."

"That could actually happen if you stopped getting into these situations and gave me a chance to get all the shit in this state together."

"Hey, I went like three weeks there without getting into a gunfight," I said.

"I think it was closer to two, Harri," Miriam sighed. "And this time it was three days. I'll swing by to say hello before I leave, alright? Your girls will be needing you."

I nodded, and she left me to find my own hobbling way back to the compound.

* * * * *

"I should stay here with you and Vanessa," Erica said as I slammed the trunk of her car, sealing in the luggage.

"Erica, I love you, but there's no fucking way," I said as I took her face in both of my hands and kissed her hard. She took a moment to breathe in through her nose before she kissed me back properly, at which point she melted into it a little bit.

I'd already been fussed over enough by the girls and I'd made the call about them needing to go to the Falls. A quick conversation with Abi over the phone confirmed they were welcome, and had raised questions that I was going to need to answer when we got there. Now Leo, Dani, Aria, India, Erica, Ivy and Kyla were all going to move over there, leaving just Vanessa and myself to watch over the compound. Vanessa couldn't leave because her work was too integral on-site, and I was still technically the Sheriff even if there were now USAF Airmen posted at the entrance to the site running security.

Erica and Leo's cars were both stuffed full of people and luggage, and I was borrowing Brent's pickup to carry the rest of the luggage. I had the police truck, but I wanted this to be as quiet a move as possible and my truck could draw attention. The last thing we wanted was to draw attention to the Falls that afternoon.

"I'm sorry for earlier," Erica sighed as she held me close and pressed her forehead to my shoulder. "I don't know if it's just me feeling like I can't do anything to help you, or just feeling trapped in general a bit without any power over my life, but I know you didn't need me second-guessing you and getting in your head."

"I know, babe," I said, rubbing her back. "I think getting out there with the ladies might be a good change of pace, even if it's just for a week or two."

"It better not be that long," Erica muttered. "Our RV already smells like pussy constantly, I don't want to guess what all thatsweaty pussy up in those dorm rooms is like." That made me snort and laugh a little, and she squeezed me tighter. "You need to be careful, Harri," she said. "As much as you can. I- You joked about it, but you almost died today. I can't handle losing you when I finally have you."

"I know," I whispered, squeezing her back. "And I will. But I need you to promise me something too."

"Anything," she said, pulling back a little so she could look up into my eyes. She'd done up her makeup like she used to and had that fierce, punky look going on like she'd raised her armour.

"Don't go trying to recruit more of the ladies into your web of sex," I said with a little smirk. "I have more than enough with you four."

"So just Josie, then," she said with a sneaky smile.

"Erica," I sighed.

"I hear you, babe," she said, and kissed my chin and then my lips. "But I'm not promising that."

We separated and I swatted her butt as she went to get into the driver's seat of her car. Kyla met me before I got to the borrowed truck.

"You have everything packed?" I asked.

"All of it," she nodded. "Except what you asked me to leave for you."

"Good," I nodded. "Give some lessons to anyone who wants them. I'll make sure to figure out how to send more ammo for everything. The more of the ladies who are comfortable with firearms, the better they can protect themselves if this shit keeps getting worse."

"I know," she said and moved her bangs out of her face as she looked up at me.

"Fuck, Kyla," I groaned, and I swept her up in my arms as I kissed her hard. My one hand was on her ass to hold her up, and she wrapped her legs around my waist as I walked her to the back of the truck and sat her on the bed as we kissed.

"What was that for?" she asked when it finally ended.

"I just had a moment to remember how young you are," I said. "And how much you're being forced to change for this."

She looked at me with her eyes brimming a little as she smiled sweetly and put her hands flat on my chest. "I'm not that young, and I'm not changing that much," she told me. "You were younger than me when you joined the army."

"You're changing more than you should need to," I said. "Doing things you shouldn't have to. I'm sorry."

She knew what I meant, but she responded by sitting a touch higher and summoning me to kiss her again. I did, and we got lost in each other until a honk from Leo's car knocked us out of it.

"Come on, you two," Aria called out the window. "You can fuck in public once we get there. Bigger audience, too."

Kyla blushed, and I felt my own face get a little warm too as I stepped away and offered her a stabilizing hand down from where I'd sat her.

We hit the road, and I led the way down the driveway and stopped at the quartet of Airmen at the bottom. Each of them was in fatigues and they looked out of place next to the little outhouse-sized covering where Patrick used to happily check us in and out.

I rolled down my window and flashed my badge to the Private who came over. "I'll be coming back in. I assume you were told about me?"

"We were, sir," he nodded. "Any chance you have an ETA?"

"Not sure, but I won't be far," I said.

"Alright," he nodded and waved me through.

Ivy was alone with me in the borrowed truck by design, even Macho riding in Erica's car, and as we drove I held her hand tightly and tried to make small talk with her. Again, more than Erica, she'd been the one left the most out of the loop on what she could do when the shit hit the fan. It wasn't her fault, but she'd been shaken when I'd shown back up even more wounded than when I'd left.

She cried a little as she held my hand with both of hers, and when we reached the driveway up to the Falls I pulled off to the side and waved the others ahead of me. Once they had disappeared into the forest I pulled Ivy out of her seat and she climbed over the middle console and curled up in my lap, crying harder as she held me. I just hugged her to me and let myself go.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't lay the actual words out for her. About watching men die in horrible ways over stupidity. About knowing I was inches from dying. About how my death would have meant something horrible for her, and Kyla, and Erica, and Vanessa.

I let myself go and we cried together, and her feeling my chest heave and hearing my own grunts of despair let her know that I needed her just as much as the others.

Erica was my wife. Kyla was my partner. Vanessa was my girlfriend.

Ivy was my heart.

"Thank you," she whispered to me when the tears had stopped for both of us. Her fingers wiped them from my cheeks and she looked at me with those big blue eyes of hers as she studied my face. "Thank you,mon amour."

"Thankyou, Ivy," I whispered back, leaning my forehead against hers. "Je t'aime."

"Je t'aime," she replied with a soft smile and then kissed me delicately.

I checked to make sure there wasn't anyone on the road ahead or behind us potentially watching where we would go before I pulled into the driveway and headed up to the Falls. The girls had already gone through the gate and I ended up needing to close it manually since I didn't have the automatic opener. Up in the parking lot, I found that the introductions were already going on, and almost every woman in the place must have been out there helping carry in luggage, greeting the new faces and fawning over Macho as he was passed from bosom to bosom receiving cuddles and kisses.

When we parked and Ivy and I got out I was almost toppled sideways as Josie hit me with a hug that almost doubled as a rugby tackle. I barely managed to stay upright.

"What the hell, Harri?" she said, squeezing me tightly and then letting go quickly as she remembered I was hurt, the opposite of her greeting earlier that day. "You were here what, two and a half hours ago? Three? What the fuck happened?"

"I have some explaining to do," I said and pulled her back into another hug. With me initiating this one she obviously felt more comfortable doing it, and she held me tightly for a long time.

"Well?" she said as we finally let go of each other.

"It'll be better if I tell everyone all at once," I said.

Several of the other women came to talk with me, some out of concern and others just trying to get a little nugget of more information than anyone else got first. Melina in particular, though she blushed heavily when she approached, fussed over me. It was almost weird to think that the whole thing in the showers had been less than a few hours ago.

One thing that stood out was that Abi didn't come to me like the others, or like she had earlier. And I didn't know how to feel about that. She was busy getting introduced around to the others, almost tied at the hip with Erica who had easily slipped into the Manager Mom role for our extended family on the move.

Once I extricated myself from Melina and another woman, I headed over to them. "Abi," I said.

She turned and looked at me, her brow softly drawn down as she smiled a little. "Harri," she said. "I'm glad you're not... any worse off."

"Thanks," I said. "I'd like to talk to everyone all at once; there are things we need to let you all know. I just- I noticed Spencer isn't out here. How did your talk with her go?"

Abi nodded softly. "She's... It's her story to tell."

"I'd like to talk to her before I address everyone," I said. "If she'd be alright with that."

"She's embarrassed, mostly," Abi said. "I can bring you up and see."

"OK," I nodded. "Thanks."

We got the rest of the luggage together and everyone helped us bring it in, many hands making light work as we mounted the stairs inside and I got my first look at the upper dormitory floor of Valkyrie Falls. It was a long hallway with a glass wall on one side looking out over the back of the building and into the woods, letting in lots of natural light. The other side was interspaced with door after door in a sleek, black hall. Each door had a whiteboard on it with a custom magnet of the occupant's name, and pictures, quotes and other bits and bobs decorating them giving a glimpse into each woman's style. With the occupancy of the building already running lower than normal, Abi and Sarah had set aside a room for Leo and his family, another for Erica and Ivy, and a third one for Kyla.

I made sure everyone was set, and Kyla was particularly happy about getting her own bed for a bit, before I followed Abi down the hall. She led me to Spencer's door, where I found her whiteboard was plastered with pictures of Spencer grinning widely surrounded by friends from high school or different gyms she'd worked out at, and a couple pictures of horses including one of her riding, and down at the bottom she'd written a quote in cursive - "Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." -- Nelson Mandela

Abi knocked while I stayed a step back and averted my eyes a bit, trying to make myself obviously passive. Spencer answered the door.

"Harri was wondering if you'd be OK to talk with him," Abi said.

"Um. Hi, Harri," Spencer said.

I looked up at her and gave her a soft smile. "Hey, Spencer."

She looked a little worn out, like she'd been through an emotional wringer, which was a bit how I felt as well. She was wearing one of her big sweatshirts and her long mane of blonde hair was loose, hanging all the way down past her butt.

"Do you want to talk with him?" Abi prompted the younger woman.

"Um..." Spencer hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah. You can come in."

"We can do it somewhere more public if you want, but still quiet," I offered.

"No, it's fine," Spencer shook her head. "I- My thing earlier wasn't about you. I know you're trustworthy."

"OK, if you're sure," I said.

I followed her in, and Abi gave me a look that was both soft and understanding but also pointed and demanding that I not fuck this up. Inside I found the room was much like the others, though Spencer had been there long enough that she'd hung up more pictures and her stuff was scattered around the room, along with having a dozen different hand-written papers taped to the walls with different workout plans and other ideas. It was a bit messy, but considering what my rooms had looked like until a couple of years of military life I couldn't say much.

"You can sit here," she said, pulling out the chair from the desk for me before she climbed up on the bed and sat cross-legged, tugging the sheet over her legs and bundling it in her hands nervously.

"Spencer, first off I just want to say how sorry I am for doing whatever caused that response in you," I said as I sat, leaning forward to try to show her I was being sincere and entirely engaged with her. "I had no idea it would make you remember something, and I don't need you to tell me what happened unless you want to. I'd... like to know what exactly it was that I did though, since I think you're a cool girl and you're a great friend to Kyla, and I'd really like to not put you through that again."

Spencer chewed on her lip for a second, looking down at her hands clutching the bedsheet, then shook her head. "Harri, I- God, I'm sorry for making you think it was something you did. This- It wasn't one thing, OK? It was like a sequence of things you sort of stumbled into. Coming up behind me while I was preoccupied, putting your hand on my shoulder, and calling me cutie and complimenting me. It just reminded me of-" She stopped and took a slow breath. "It reminded me of someone, way down in my subconscious."

"I'm sorry," I said. "For whatever happened."

She swallowed and looked up at me nervously. "Do you want to know?"

"Only if you want and feel safe telling me," I said. "Spencer, I don't know for sure how much you all know about me from what the girls have told you. I was an MP before I left the army. That's a military policeman. And I did investigations in the last year before I left. A lot of the job I did was standing guard places, making sure drunk soldiers learned to smarten up, and occasionally helping track down someone who had gone AWOL. But at the end, when I was doing investigations full time, I- I saw and heard about and investigated a lot of shitty stuff people did to each other. Sometimes it was violent. Sometimes it was sexual. And I didn't just leave the army, I sort of got kicked out. I was following up on rumours of someone who was blackmailing young female officers, and I happened to come across a bigwig officer in the middle of trying to assault a woman. It was just me, him and her, and I punched him even though he put his hands up and surrendered. So I got kicked out, and I couldn't help stop any more people from getting hurt like that on my watch, but I never regretted it because that woman ended up becoming a good friend of mine and she deserved to feel safe. So... if it will make you feel safer, I'd like you to tell me, but if you don't think it will, you don't have to."

Spencer was a beautiful girl, usually full of that soft energy and endurance, and it was heartbreaking seeing her so obviously torn as she tried to decide what she wanted.

"It was my cousin," she blurted out, then swallowed and closed her eyes. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the bedsheet. "It happened the first time when I was thirteen, and I tried telling my parents but they thought I was just tattling on him for roughhousing because everyone in my family is like that, and he was a couple years older than me so they thought I was just being a sore loser. I never even got to tell them what happened, and then I didn't think they'd believe me. So I avoided him every chance I could, and that was when I started working out. I thought if I could be strong enough I could make him stop if he tried it again. Then, when I was sixteen, we hosted the family reunion and I couldn't avoid him. I tried to just stay away as much as possible. I locked myself in the basement or went out of the house every chance I got. But I must have left the basement door unlocked later in the day, and I was working out when he came down and put his hand on my shoulder and called me cutie like he did when I was a kid, and told me I was looking hot. And I tried to fight him like I planned but I was sixteen and he was eighteen and he worked out too and-"

She stopped, the words halting their terrible tumble out of her mouth, and she swallowed hard and looked up at me. I tried to push all of my agonies for her into my expression, all of my sincerity while reducing any pity. I nodded silently.

"He left me down there, and when I got myself together I went upstairs and told my parents. At first, my Mom didn't believe me, but my Dad did. God, he beat the shit out of my cousin. It took my Grandpa and two of my uncles to pull him off, and then my uncles had to pull my Grandpa off him too once he figured out what had happened. That's when I told them what happened when I was thirteen, and my Mom finally put the pieces together of why I'd changed so much, and she broke down crying. The police showed up and my cousin got arrested. I had to go down to the station and to the hospital to do the rape kit, but I was lucky because it was sort of open and shut. Even his own parents had heard him saying 'I thought she liked it' to try and defend himself. He got sentenced to two years in county prison after time served and had to pay some cheap fine because he was only two years older than me. He got out last year and I saw a photo of him - he looks like shit, and I think he joined a gang to try and survive, but no one in the family will talk to him so I'm not sure. I'm not really close to my parents now though - I mean, they're still my parents, but I think they realized how much they fucked up and it's hard for us to connect anymore."