All Comments on 'Quarrelling with Kaylee'

This story was amazing. Utterly fucking amazing. Nice job.

This story in my opinon, is the best story I have ever read. I was reading it for the purpose of release and excitment. I recieved more than expected. As far as character depth, I do not feel it was necessary, unless you were not reading for the same purpose. I will become a Litrotica member now due to this story. I have been a Lit browser for years. I am posting from MB, Canada.

SERIOUSLY, THIS WAS A FUCKING AMAZING STORY!!!! I'M STILL AROUSED.

P.S -If that little sister is a real person I need to marry her. Lol

utha_side@hotmail.com feel free to email for more raving lol

This story was utterly amazing! I don't usually leave comments after reading but I couldn't just go after reading this one!

Love italics, right? Do teenagers really emphasize words in each sentence? Must be a strain. The story was okay just not memorable.

So, this story really highlights the weakness of the male mind and flesh. And it was a 19 year-old that played him and manipulated him. Technically, I guess I can say the plotline was good even with some very minor grammatical and punctuation errors, but just the idea that he let her do that to him makes me want to mock the male population---oh wait, this is about fantasy right? I guess its accurate to say this isn't a fantasy of mine to have such a weak-ass boyfriend since it didn't do it for me.

Dumbass should have just let his girlfriend know what her jerk-ass her sister was doing, even if it would have pissed her off, and the older sister should have just *beat* her younger sister's ass.

Yeah, so just some of my tamer thoughts. But objectively speaking it was a pretty good story.

Skipped the middle and judging by the end I missed little if anything.

Drawn out.

I am floored at how amazing this story fell under my radar for so long. This was/is EXACTLY the type of story I've wanted to write myself because nobody had before! Thank you so much for understanding how to develop a character like Kaylee and how to expertly pace her teasing in a way that was believable and hot at the same time! Just fucking awesome. Hopefully you continue to write similar themed stories where women fully utilize their sexual wares and power over men in a similar fashion. Thanks again!

Once again, a great job of writing. The ending in the shower with the g.friend coming in to the bathroom to chat while he was fucking her sister was awesome! Unlike others, I love the drawing out of the tension throughout the chapters. Good job.

dirty, and well-written. Who could ask for more?

WOW I would have got her the first day, and wouldn't have stopped till the little tease moved in and had my babies. sweet young pussy. makes the world go round.

What a great tease! The minx! Enthralled and enraptured by this tale of tail. The danger is an aphrodisiac.

Best of fortunes, looking forward to reading more.

D.

Seriously what's with the constant 'um...I .... ' people don't talk like that maybe one character who's shy but not a dominant. This story was too long and just kept rambling.

Well I'm going to probably keep reading the story to the end because there are so many positive reviews, right now I think I"m starting on page 2. Had to jump to the end though because the characters have me pissed off! :) The dude acts more like a 13 year old kid instead of a grown man. Should have kicked her ass out or called her on it in front of his wife from the get go. Worried that he had a hardon because of her and his wife getting 'upset' about it? Dude is a pussywhipped wimp! ...and his wife getting pissy because he was wiggling around on the sofa giving him the eye? Fuck that! ...oh, and the constand 'uh' everywhere. (grinding teeth) ...sigh, guess I'll keep reading since everyone seems to like it. Can't imagine 6 pages of tease though, may not make it :/

Ok, so I suffered through it. I didn't even get hard. Not once. It was actually fucking depressing. :( The dude WAS a spineless pussywhipped (by the sister AND girlfriend) spineless thirteen year old bastard. He should have either fucked her on day one or turned her over his knee on day one or spanked her ass so hard on day two when she asked for it that she couldn't sit down the rest of the week, or bounced her ass out the front door. (I'm for option 2 and 3 actually.)

I love a good buildup as much as the next person, but with the male character being such a loser (well I guess they're all dysfunctional, eh?;) it just sucked the fun out of it.

...and the girlfriend is almost as annoying. Yeesh. I just don't see how this story is enjoyable at all, sorry. I tried, honestly. Read it all the way through even though I was way way done by page three. :(

Oh, and the constant 'um' and 'uh' was highly irritating. :( I've got an upset stomach from just reading the damned thing now.

I'm not going to rate it at all, mostly because it's obviously more a matter of opinion and what people like as opposed to poor writing skill or poor plot development (well setting aside the annoying um and uh stuff). Thanks for writing it anyway, I'll have to check out some of your other stuff!

So hot, nice work

So erotic, loved the build up. I think most readers were also hard wishing to fuck Kaylee. I know I've never been so hard reading a story I had to get my wife to suck me afterwards.

What a pathetic man who couldn't tell the sister to back off.

The erotic stuff wasn't bad though, but still. I really hope men have more backbone than this. At least I would have.

A lot of men would have broken - good attention to detail, and nice build up on tension. I wish the story were longer with the teasing more drawn out unlike the naysayers!

It's not even fun. Nice story though

I wish...... Uh, um, uh.... There weren't, um..... Uh, so many, uh...... Speech impedements in the dialogues. Would've made the, uh..... Sssto-ory more....... Um, satisfactory.

I have also lusted after my wife's little sister and could identify with this story. Try to get it said in fewer words.

I enjoyed that! I went through my younger years wishing I could be one of the smaller, good looking guys, so there would be some danger of women I found attractive actually being able to take me against my will. I'd love to read a story like this one where some young woman leads another couple of women to take turns having their way with a guy, despite any efforts he might make to the contrary.

Don't listen to the haters. More please but with him actually fucking Kaylee without the sister around. And cumming all over her face and body.

I was on pins and needles wondering if she was going to get fucked or not.

It looked like you were making a way to continue with this story at the end.

Maybe you could expand the story when she comes back from spring break.

That much is clear but, as someone else said here, the constant stuttering....for fucks sake. Enough! We get it, the guy is a bitch. That's goddamn annoying by the way, the fact that the men in your stories have no fucking balls. I really did enjoy the story but I just kept thinking to myself "Oh my god, what a bitch. Fucking grow a pair"

Great story first of all - Thanks!

The way she relentlessly goes after him no matter what is actually quite amusing I think.

A great read I for one would like to see continued.

/K

It is ridiculous to think of calling en_extase's work anything but masterful. The agony of circumstance, of choice, is perfectly balanced. This story is intelligent and elite.

Just not so much that other girls who put major effort into it can't get me to think about them instead of Melissa and eventually get me to cheat on her...

And you, Kaylee, love your sister but not near enough not to break up her relationship...

Have the decency to at least tell your girlfriend that you're breaking up with her. Let her "loving sister" be the one to explain how guys are more interested in giving into her seduction than in staying faithful...

It would serve Kaylee right if she effectively lost her big sister since clearly she doesn't care enough about HER anyway...

Enjoyable read though I dislike him. He's got no freaking clue what he wants apparently.

....i couldn't even get past page one. Why do authors do that?! A full grown man and theres a little pussy around and they write him like he's a fucking twelve year old sporting a woody in front of a nude playboy model.

"How are you this morning?"

"W w wwell, u uuh. I i-im d d doin ng o ok."

Always with the bullshit stuttering, always acting like his dick is going to explode if he doesnt do sonething about it. Hell my wife lets her hot nieces stay over when their in town, they parade around in the morning and at night with virtually nothing on, doing the usual 'I really dont mind my cute uncle looking at my tits and ass and puffy pussy that shows through my lil tight panties that Im only wearing around to get his attention and I can wank off a little later in my room thinking about him coming in here and fucking me good when auntie goes to work!' Routine... But I sure as hell dont stutter, walk around with a woodie or act like a kid. Yeesh. Write it a bit more realistic so that we can at least enjoy reading it. Please!

He made his own life miserable. Pehaps the way to handle the situation would of been head on. Keeping all of his lust inside, well it just builds. Exposing the situation in that small apartment. He still would have the opportunity to lose his relationship with Melissa. Just a story, can girls do that to men, I not sure I have the courage to say No. Only one girl ever teased me, with exposing her pantys but not anything like this.

Fun read Thanks.

One of the best erotic stories I ever read. It doesn't need gang bangs and weired stuff to be exciting, just an intelligent set up for seduction and lust.

Please go on writing. I appreciate so much.

Loved this story. You did a good job developing the characters and putting them back into those compromising situations. Maybe not entirely realistic, but hey! This is erotica, not a documentary! Your care in craft of writing - attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling greatly enhances the reading experience for me.

My only wish was that, at some point, he would have got the chance to take her up on that spanking!

The more I read this story, the more irritated I became. Our protagonist sounds nothing more like a pussy-whipped sixteen-year old. I skimmed about...italics...blah...blah...blah...scantily-clad...girlfriend...tease. The End.

I'm not dead between the legs by any means, but this story just rubbed me the wrong way (no pun intended).

Any grown man would have put Kaylee in her place. Then exposed her to Melissa if she continued.

I have read in years ! Something very near this happened to me years ago and I still think of it !! Much like him I hesitated but eventually went for it.

resisted and now regret it

Need more of Kaylee.

Your storytelling was amazing and drew me in instantly. But I spent the whole story yelling at him for being a pathetic pussy with a weak constitution. It made me so angry that someone could let themselves be controlled and manipulated like that. What a stupid whore of a sister and useless excuse of man he is! I can't stand weak willed people! You should write so she finds out and beats the shit out of both of them with a baseball bat!

Great story, perfect timing, and a great cast.

If it where me, Kaylee would have had a fuck buddy all week.

What I really liked is when he was in bed with her sister, and she came into the room.

She would have left with a mouthful.

But that's just me.

Would like to hear about her next visit!!!!!

Wonderful build up, with all the right details. For future work, I suggest avoiding too much italicizing of words throughout the story. After a while all the slanted words becomes a little obnoxious and throws off the tone. I would also consider reducing the amount of "ums" and "uhs" in the dialogue, as it becomes redundant. Otherwise, very steamy and extremely arousing.

The following is a critique of the story not the wank. Bless the wankers cause they need it hard. __________________________________________

__________________________________________

A summery of my proper ending: Breakup

__________________________________________

His girlfriend had enlisted her baby-sister for a final test to see if he was the one to wed. Needles to say it was a total failure exposing him as driven by fear not love or respect. The gutless jerk is flushed.

__________________________________________

He had an almost endless number of options to succeed: From temporary moving out, inviting friends over, keeping his pants on, to various degrees of exposing Kaylees activities to her sister. __________

. . Even talking with his boss, having Kaylee agree to a spanking and then continue beyond kinky to blue and black or realizing his moment of weakness and initiating a breakup himself could have worked. ____

. . He didn't care about his girlfriend enough to risk their relationship for her sake. It was all about his own fear and lust. He was bound to cheat sooner or later. No prior examples of his girlfriend mistrusting him were raised in the parts I suffered reading justifying his silence. Not once did he give his girlfriend a clue or sought help.

I have to admit one of the best I read.

Way too much "uh's" and "um's". The story would have moved smoothly except for the silly stuttering. It really detracted from the obvious teasing and foreplay. He could have fucked little sister until her eyeballs rolled up in her head and it would have made a better read. Big sis must be a "semi-klutz" not to sense her sister was trying to screw her boyfriend. He acted like such a dumb bastard it's a wonder one, if not all of them, didn't trip over his dick. Little sis is a nempho, and he's a nincompoop! Aside from that, it was a pretty good read....

Is that NOBODY is that stupid. Boy was this bad.

Forced myself to keep reading until page 5, then I just couldn't make myself care anymore. Hated the loser boyfriend, constantly complaining and whining. I found myself hoping he never got laid. Couldn't stand the constant "um's" and "uh's", that caused the story to be stilted and dragging throughout. All in all I gave it a 1.

This story is long but I will admit I was hooked because even though I wanted the guy to fuck the little sister right away. You just kept me in the edge of my seat the entire time I was reading. The anticipation and the teasing from the slutty sister was really hot!! I think he should have fucked the slutty little sister in the ass. Oh yeah!! It would have made the story more enticing!! ;)

First off, Kaylee was a stark raving bitch. I really disliked her from the first. I'm as attracted to women as the next guy but she really turned me off. Pushing her sister's boyfriend to cheat from the moment she showed up. Second, the guy was an asshole as well. All he had to do was be firm, tell her no and mean it. But he was a waffling loser and so got himself in deeper and deeper. But the main fault was hers'. She was after him from the first moment and never let up. I finished the story, (I'm just the kind who finishes whatever story he starts), but didn't like it - or them - from start to finish. Glad that is over.

Well written, a bit unbelievable but it is a fantasy, isn't it ?

FUCK that girl. I've never wanted a story like this to end in a fucking murder, but this was just ridiculous. FUCK YOU. Completely got me out of the fucking mood, if I could rate this fucking piece of shit I'd give it a -5. Please write another fucking chapter just so you can kill this fucking bitch off. God I'm so fucking pissed off.

Don't write any more drivel like this. You are much better than this.

I found it quite compelling story telling and have voted 5*****

Jane Marwood

Well written and totally erotic. I couldn't wait for the next chapter. Well done and I look forward to the next one.

This story was incredible! From the details to the raw emotions overall. Throughout this whole story, I was very conflicted. Much like the main character in fact, which I'm sure you did somewhat purposely. As a reader, I both loved and hated the characters, especially Kaylee. I loved her for the eroticism as well as that cocky sexy demeanor and the enticing pleasure she brings. I hated her for acting so smug and her overly confident persona. And for making me like her all the more for it! You made me me experience a roller coaster of emotions, all types of ideals and thought provoking concepts were manipulated, as an author should do! You made readers feel, and that's what's important in a story. Whether the concept was wrong or right, whether it had a fairy tale ending or a nightmarish one, whether people love you or hate you, if you can get readers to think, feel, or question...you are an accomplished author. You have a skill sir, so I say this. Fuck you and I look forward to the next story :).

Imagine fucking her in a tent, with your girlfriend sleeping right next to you.

I'd fuck my girlfriend to sleep, then let Kaylee suck my cock to taste her sister's cunt.

Then fuck that sweet young tease again, fill her up with load after load of my cum.

Even better get them to go skinny dipping and fuck them both.

Just like her hot story about kissing her girlfriend, with her girlfriend sucking her sensitive nipples.

She is a little freak, love it.

Hot as hell, but a weak payoff. Seven pages for one sex scene? Lame.

I fucked my mother in-law and the morning after...............

A good story but needed more sex scenes - I would like be tempted by a girl like Kaylee

The story was well written, but this would definitely go under Nonconsent/Reluctance if the roles were reversed. The rape-y vibes from Kaylee made it a bit difficult to enjoy.

womens magazine. All talk, no action.

this guy is acting like a pussy when all that's needed is a little dominance and cour

age, to call her on her bullshit and tell melissa what's going on. let them deny all they

want. when they call him a pervert "well I'm not the one parading around half dressed" this story is all about being pussy-whipped and a clear demonstration to

male of w h a t n o t to do . There is always a power struggle and a lot of fem

ales will respect you if they find you can't be intimidated. You must be willing to give

up the pussy: willing to walk away, or have her walk away, if she doesn't stop trying to

dominate you. Best to start of as a dom and never let her even begin to put you on the defensive: continually put her in the position of agree/submit or leave while you

give her small compliments and appreciations.

.

I loved the build up myself ..... I would really like that part 2 when she returns !!!! Can he put a stop to it (hope not ;)

Great lead up! After all that tease, I want to hear how he gives in to his desires and lays down his dick and plows Kaylee during her next visit! Id want to know how they sneak around, not get caught, and all the steamy ways they fuck each other into oblivion.

I think I felt like the MC as I was reading this. There was so much literary teasing going on between you and the reader; it kept me on edge the entire read! Instant favourite and instant 5 stars

for such a small payoff. Seriously, hurry up

Why do all the good stories not have multiple chapters

Oh no! Sexy teen tries it on and adult male is too fucking dim to refuse Andrew shut her down. Really??

Very wrong ending. The shower scene when she is so worked up and needing him he should have slapped her butt and wished her a nice ride home and left her there going out o her mind and then told her I can tease too see ya. Have a nice day.

Please tell me there is a part two!!!!! Best one I’ve read yet

One of the sexiest ever stories! Congrats!

Does not get better than this

You need to make a part 2

Great story had me horny the whole time

Made me super horny. Love the stories with teasing! Write a sequel please

That was HOT....The shower had me so hard.

Thanks for sharing.

It was great but I personally would have preferred him to win not that bitch.

More! More! More! I loved your writing! Got me pretty riveted on the story!

I agree with you I wish he won and not her. Man the sister was a bitch! He should have yelled for Melissa in the shower. Catch that bitch in action and throw her out on her ass. Honestly if that happened to my boyfriend or husband and I saw his hard on in the shower I wouldn't be happy about it but I would be proud that he yelled for me. Like we could work it out because I know he personally didn't want it but his dick did. Good story either way, I thought I was reading a story on "TheTalkMan's" page.

People actually like this? Dude was a weak chicken shit. Feel sorry for the older sister. Imagine the fallout when that happens...you know she'll find out...oh, of course, this is going to be a thing where Melissa is ok with it, and joins,right? Fuck. I'm done. This guy in the story should man up, break up with Melissa, and just fuck the shit out of the little bitch for a while. Not even a little turned on, just disgusted, and sorry to have wasted so much time reading about this punk.

...lame, incomplete and one-dimensional.

Which would be fine if this was a typical 'hit it and quit it' story with the sex happening by the fifth paragraph and the 'plot' being an acknowledged flimsy prelude just to get us to the action.

Only that is clearly NOT what you were going for here.

Melissa is essentially an empty box, a place holder, for woman 'X', getting cucked, BY HER OWN SISTER, in large part either through her own obliviousness or literal absence.

Kaylee is a garbage human, willing to destroy her sister, even as she disingenuously spends quality 'girl time' with her.

The unnamed protagonist is a weak-willed male of the tropiest sort. He's such an extreme stereotype that he is an overplayed joke. Clearly you hate men, as your reputation for writing them this way is remarked on repeatedly. Perhaps this is just therapy for you then?

Whatever the reasoning, this was drawn out and boring, with nary a character to feel much , if any, sympathy for.

Based on what others have commented, I now know I need never read any of your other work.

1 star, because zero or minus are not available.

Great work. The battle of trying to do the right thing against temptation is a classic, but you made this nearly unbearable. The one thing was a little unclear was what Kaylee's motivation was. At various times she seemed like she enjoyed torturing him, but others she seemed to really want him. Also some kind of reason that she was willing to betray her sister would have been good.

One of the best I have ever read! Wonderful tension build up.

The guy struck me as being a pussy afraid of his lust for the sister that obviously wanted him to give her a hot fuck.

If he really didn't want her there, he would have insisted she leave the next day.

I kept waiting for the punch line, but there wasn't one.

Do you actually know any men like the protagonist?

There is no way, none, zilch, zero, that a young woman like Kaylee would be interested in such a weak individual.

The only way this makes any sense is that Melissa is the boss, he's her beta male for now "boyfriend" until someone she really wants shows up, and Kaylee hates her older sister for some reason and is using her lame excuse for a boyfriend as some sort of twisted revenge.

Fun thought, reverse gender roles, and see how twisted this read.

Literally one of the best stories I've read in the genre.. that build up though omfg

I agree with No1OfConsequence, to some degree. I was waiting for a twist or additional information. As it is I would summarize this story as follows: The mountains went into labour- and gave birth to a mouse.

All that build up for a quickie in the shower?

And the characters: Melissa, oblivious about her sisters personality; Kaylee, striving to seduce her sister's boyfriend to just sample him once or twice, while she has her pick of college students? And the guy? Presumably in his mid twenties, he has been able to maintain a committed relationship with Melissa. They were not living on a deserted island or in a country where it's customary for females to be clad in loose fitting clothes from head to toe. Still, the story gives no indication of him being tempted by female beauty outside his relationship in the past. And suddenly he behaves like some 14 or 16 year old boy, has no self control whatsoever? A man at his age being that pathetic is just unfathomable. Other than that, if you would have given any background to make Kaylee's motivation and goals understandable, preferably less shallow, it could have been somewhat good.

I don't think I liked Kaylee at all, does she not care about her sister? Why was she trying so freaking hard .-.

I loved it. I completely get why he couldn't get his mind off Kaylee, I can't get my mind off Kaylee and she's not even real! LOL

NO WAY! I REPEAT, NO WAY! One of two things had to happen six pages ago! Either he outed her to Melissa and made it clear he was not goint to be her dildo for her mental masturbation, or he fuck nailed her and did so every time Melissa left the building l

This guy has been so humiliated, so made into a spermless, gutless single celled amoeba....his only recourse is to apologize to Melissa n a note and hang his sorry self in a closet!

This story is horrid! Total subjugation of anything male, honest or sexy!

Loved it I can’t wait for her to come back in part two

A man in his position just wants to be safe and know he can trust people around him he is loyal and can be trusted. When he did his homework he felt as if he was a bit blind sided. He doesn’t understand like some many others but has interest in helping out only if all are on board and the respect and trust is there. Yes, he could have handled things better. The info was a bit bizarre he feels bad for all it was public show that should not have been. Nothing a talk with the king won’t straighten out he hopes all is well and love your artistic talent......

Waste of time. Should have outed the slut with texted pix or used her hard

Just tell your girlfriend what’s going on the first day!

Dumb ass!

Bill

I only have one word, HOT. For reasons unknown even the non sexual parts had me hard and happy.

I dunno why but i feel like

Umm,uh,l

Are more than all the other words combined

worst

The sexual tension was fun. There were too many plausible ways out of the dilemma that were ignored. Fun but not really believable.

I needed more sex.

Hot. Perfect. (I had to comment because I don’t understand all of the negativity)

I've read hundreds of stories, maybe thousands over the years on literotica. And this is been my absolute favorite. Please write more and ignore the nonsense and hate. I've read it numerous times now.

I would have kicked the bitch out of my house. If she has that little respect for me and especially her sister then I want nothing to do with her. And if her sister got mad then fuck her too. They both can just get the fuck out. And you bet your ass that in about 8 years forward one way or the other I would be looking kaylee up hoping like hell she was married and happy then do everything in my power to break them up. Revenge is a bitch

Can anyone imagine the comment section if the roles were reversed and the dude was trippin out over the young hot teen. Walking around with his cock out sneaking into her romm sliding his clock into her while she was napping on the sofa. Hell every woman in the world woud be screaming rape. But hell if te young teen girl does that to a guy, he is considered a pussy for not just rolling with it and fucking her. Not even taking in your account he is trying to not cheat. But once again it would be all his fault