All Comments on 'Queen of Heaven Ch. 01'

You did sort of telegraph the reveal at the end. The attempts to finish his sentence, "But she's---" were enough, by themselves, to tip off that that there was an existing relationship. Specifying that the object of their discussion had a child that was "Michelle's" age narrowed the possibilities even more: The mature woman they were discussing almost certainly had to be either his mother, or step-mother, or possibly an aunt. And while I couldn't have known, beyond doubt, that my guess was accurate, I was sufficiently confident to have bet I was right. So, having said that, perhaps you could have dropped fewer hints (to prolong the suspense), or even shared the revelation sooner.

Still, a good start on a new story, and lots of possibilities

How about another chapter and a three-some with Mom.

Thanks, mate. That was funny and a great starting point for any direction you're interested in taking it.

like i was sucker punched...in a good way - nice twist.

Thanks for your time and talent!

i really like the start of this story. erotic - yet no sex. pretty good!

Good start but I guess I am dense because I can not figure out who is who. Will continue reading.