All Comments on 'Radiance Ch. 14'

I like this story very much, but there are... Editing issues.

What exactly is a "clam temper"? :p

Here's a tip from the industry: before you think you're done with editing, print the story out on paper, and then read it out loud to yourself. It'll feel silly at first, but you'll catch *so* many errors that wouldn't have otherwise. Your brain just glosses over them when editing normally, because it knows what's supposed to be there. Reading the printed page out loud forces you to reconsider everything and your brain processes it in a different way.

Cheers!