All Comments on 'Rain Must Fall'

All the guy did by forbidding his wife to have any contact with her sister is light the fuse on their marriage.

Two years, tops. Then KABOOM!

You read it here first.

was a different approach

I found it quite enjoyable, especially considering the (short) length.

I guess the BTB fraction will tear the story apart ^^

You got me. I thought it was Verity, since you made a point of describing all three as almost identical. Pretty entertaining. I could imagine several variations of this. Thanks much.

Not bad i can see the problem of finding out who cheated. But probably the husband should have stayed and questioned the woman who was fucking in the house. Would things be okay after this? Trust but verify would be the way to go.

Well that was good, LW section nowadays are full of cucks it's annoying

This was good.

The author kept me guessing.

By page 2 I even suspected the mother as she was a dead ringer for her children and the incident went fast it was possible the husband overlooked things.

Good story. Thanks IABH.

She needs to divorce him NOW! He’s not an idiot, he’s a fucking psychopath and the fact that you made him change his tune on seeing his wife shows your a goddamn lunatic and no woman should ever be left alone with you.

She’s at the library. But instead of trusting his wife, he doubles down and forces confessions and then withholds his live? Fuck you cocksucker.

He doesn’t deserve her and she should divorce him because his controlling and domineering won’t get better. How long before he starts beating her because she disrespected him? Because she talked to another man. Because she talked to her sister? How long before he blames her for his rage? Blames her for making him lose his temper and punching her? Blames her for making him angry and punishing her?

You sorry sack of shit. I want you to take a good look at what you writes and tell me that a guy best the shot out of someone he didn’t know, spit on someone who wasn’t his wife, made her feel like shit and refused to believe her when he could have JUST CHECKED HIS FRIEND FINDER APP!

A reasonable story with a slightly different plot, I can perfectly understand both sisters reactions and trying to save themselves, but I'm not sure they'd do it at one another's expense. What I definitely disagree with is the father's reaction: calling his own daughter a slut with just her husbands suspicions as evidence, in fact what kind of arsehole is he anyway by talking to her that way? Thinking back on it I believe this was probably written by somebody with some serious issues against women, all three were depicted as scheming and dishonest, while the men, even the lover were upstanding 'good ol boys' or in my opinion 'complete totesteron filled twats,' and why exactly was Beth included? It appeared she was just more ammo to show what a great guy hubby is.

A good story, well written but spoiled by the excessive macho postering. I assume the 'real men' think it makes them look good in some way, but really it's quite pathetic. I'd like to read this written I more sympathetic style, with more likeable charecters, then instead of a reasonably good story it'd be a very good story.

this feels very incomplete and rushed... just saying

Did he have two phones? Just asking because he says he texted her and then went in to get the phone...... What did he text her with?

He could have the PI ask someone at the library about her whereabouts.....

Too many inconsistencies

Interesting read. Thank you.

the post nup was a good idea, if she was ready to let her sister go down to save her own ass, fuck you then

@Anonymous 24 mins ago: Wow! This fictional tale REALLY got to you, didn't it? IT IS A STORY! Yes, the circumstances are a little odd and the details tenuous - but it works overall. Of course, we don't know what happened subsequently, but that may just be an opening for a sequel.

It was a great idea for a story, but it just felt a bit rushed, particularly the ending.

I can see Sienna being pissed at her sister for lying and putting her own marriage in trouble, but twins share quite a bond. Keeping those two apart was very sensible, but I'm not sure how long Sienna could last with Scarlet plucking at her heartstrings.

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"I told Sienna she wasn't to have any contact with Scarlett at all and she reluctantly agreed."

It's the reluctance here which is a big red flag. I suspect he won't have seen the last of the evil twin!

That was a great story, making good use of the twin plot device.

By the way, Anon, have you never heard of texting from a tablet or a Mac?

It is a good story, especially the identical twins angle.

So many critics here and none of them can write! I appreciate the writers time and

talent.

Not my favorite story but, enjoyable. Keep writing.

Asking Sienna not to have contact with her own sister is unreasonable. She should have divorced him.

These revenge fantasies are all so cliched. His new woman was literally sitting in a cubicle with him at work. Hahaha. I guess making it a case of mistaken identity is a “twist” … but it’s still dumb.

Nice to see a new twist on a familiar theme.

Granted the guy was beside himself and not thinking straight but, missing the fact that your wife has always had a shaved pussy and the woman who's naked pictures you're looking at has pubic hair... That's a big clue to overlook.

The sad thing is, in real life family will screw you over more quickly than just about anyone. They just know you love them and will eventually forgive you so, for the people who think it's unrealistic for Scarlett to have thrown her sister under the bus like that... On that same idea, as much as I understand why he wants her to have no contact with Scarlett. Not going to happen for very long. Until it becomes her own idea to sever contact with her sister he's never going to be able to enforce that.

Not a bad story however you finished it up as if you were in a hurry to get it done. No drama or information as to what happened to the sister other than her getting thrown out. Nothing about what the Dad would say, so I think you need to flesh out more when you bring in characters you need to include them in the finish.

I liked this story a lot. Thank you, Sir

Interesting little tale. One major question I have was why would she let her sister use her home to have an affair?? That's just asking for things to blow up in your face

This is rather misogynistic

Only way this would have been better was if it was the mother-in-law that cheated.

Wow! You sure pissed off "feminist" anon with this story. Needs some inconsistancies cleared up ( no phone tracker app?/ library trip?) and a more detailed explanation why the wife allowed the use of their house but a good story line.

"You might have to eat a little pride and ego on this. I know it's a hard choice, but that's part of being a man." So, his father and he are both fucking idiots. She helped her sister cheat. Which means, she's okay with cheating. And the mom was okay with it too, until her hubby found out. Fucked up mother and two daughters, ALL of them need to go. The shit is contagious.

An interesting twist. I really enjoyed it. Thank you.

As he said, Sienna was at LEAST covering for Scarlett, which doesn't speak well of her attitude towards infidelity.

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If it's a choice between ruining Sienna's marriage or Scarlett's, wouldn't you choose to ruin the cheater's?

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Can Sienna prove that she was at the library? Her car wasn't at the house.

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"We know you don't like Steve." - Which is why they felt safe that he'd never tell Steve.

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"Would a man put his ego and pride ahead of what is best for his child?" - Can we please stop with a man's ego and pride?

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@GarySmith69, he never thought that it wasn't Sienna, so he had no need to question her.

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@Anonymous Re: Two phones - GREAT catch!

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I can't believe he didn't catch the pubes!

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How is it that neither sister's car was at the house?

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I'm still troubled my the cover-up. I'd worry about an exchange, maybe it's already happened!

It could have been a great story but you cut it off too soon.

You did a great job of giving the reader just enough info to make trying to figure out who it was hard, but realistic. That made the little tale very enjoyable.

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Scarlett was a real piece of work. How Sienna could have wanted to retain ANY relation with her after Scarlett refused to clear her with Baz should have been a fatal blow to their relationship.

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4 strong **** for an entertaining “whodunit”

I really don't understand stories where a husband comes home, find wife in bed with another man, and leaves. Twins or no twins, you kick ass or get your ass kicked, but you do something.

Unique. Very refreshing and most importantly, cuck free. I just hope Steve gets to rain down pain on the skank that is Scarlett. It would have been nice to hear how Steve appreciated Bas' honesty so much that it led to a fantastic relationship that deepened to almost brothers type of thing that lasts a lifetime.

I liked it! The story line was a bit different from most here. 5***** And I certainly agree she was in hot water just for loaning the house to her cheating sister.

Extremely unusual situation. Nice job.

interesting take on the common theme. Unlike Anons, no nitpicking here

I originally thought comments against the husband in this case were ridiculous and unfair. Then I read the story! This man was totally unlikable! I can understand not condoning cheating. And the sister was wrong. But having her followed by a PI?! Who the hell is he to do that?! Telling his wife she can't have contact with her identical twin! Who she shared a womb with! Get the f out of here. Totally unrealistic to believe she would abide by that. Bottomline, this story portrays the women as being negatively controlled by their men. Even the mother-in-law. Really reprehensible. Especially in today's day and age.

Good story. I liked the twist. Don’t pay any attention to the haters. Keep writing.

Fast pace story.

Author 4.6

The flow of story 4,5

storyline 4

Overall 4.2

No woman is going to give up her twin sister. No woman is going to sign a pre-nup that offensive. No husband worth having would be that pissed over her letting her sister use a bedroom. This was ridiculous.

Clever

Dude, you have a good plot here but you ended it too fast. You should pursue that further and build more suspense with both sisters being cheaters.

Nevertheless, it is a good plot.

Very rushed ending. I also didn’t like the stay away from your twin bit. Pretty good up to the last couple of chapters

Classic prisoners dilemma. Good story.

Reading this a second time after knowing the end result made Sienna’s behavior seem very illogical. To wit:

+++

KNOWING it was NOT her, Sienna had a stark choice: blowing up her relationship with her sister or with her husband. KNOWING that she allowed Scarlett to use her house for a hookup location, her reluctance…nay, obstinance to just tell Baz the whole story once he threatened to nuke their marriage was just bizarre. Once it was him (Baz) or her (sister), she really needed to tell him EVERYTHING she knew about her sister’s cheating habits.

+++

It also seems plausible that mommy dearest — Verity — either already knew what was going on, or was told by her 2 daughters while Baz was away for a bit getting a shower and phoning Dale. Her actions were completely of a type that was trying to protect the guilty one.

+++

Still…a very entertaining story, and well worth ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

So how did he text her if he had forgotten his phone?

I saw the "twin sister" play coming but you played it well. Unique twist in a sometimes cliche genre is worthy of 5* despite some awkward narrative moments.

It was a 4 or a 5 until you forbade her to have any further contact with her identical twin sister so you got a 3 for originality. In the real world you’d pay a continuing price for that if she followed that prohibition, and even requiring that of a twin makes the guy a prick.

Story was just ok but the postnup at the ending added the extra star. Not sure why more cuckolded men in these stories don't do that more often.

Unrealistic to think MC would destroy a car in a rage and then wait patiently for a PI to do his work. If the sisters are so alike then what would preclude them from SHARING Sexy Siren's workload? Still no closer to the truth but a major opportunity to expand both the story and reader interest was missed there.

Has anyone ever heard of a lie detector?

I liked the story...got me to thinking.

I was sure that the PI would discover nothing incriminating around the

actions or movements of either of the twins......and that when the

husband told Steve of the "landing strip" evidence, he would be

loudly informed that Scarlett was as devoid of pubic hair as her

twin.......and then Mother-in-law would became the culprit

@Dirtybopper6989, he DID do something: "I grabbed lover boy by his hair and pulled him off of my cheating whore wife. He screamed obscenities as I pushed him to the floor. After giving him a kick in the nuts and another in his hands that went to cover his nuts,"

Why didn't he go to the library to check if she'd been there? Otherwise, good stuff. D

What’s the explanation there when he got a *ping* from that?

Where was the Baby???? If it was his wife in the house the baby would have woke up crying with all of the commotion. If he wasn't there, where was he? Would have been the first question any father would ask...why is a stranger in the house with my kid????

I can't believe I was the only one knowing it was the sister the whole time. Baby was with wife at the library. Duh....didn't need a PI to figure that out.

He PMs ‘sexysiren’ from his wife’s phone. (Which doesn’t make sense to me).

Also -------

---My wife on the other hand is a stay-at-home mom. I texted her to see if she was busy and she said she was at the library. Her bringing me the phone was out, so I made the fifteen-minute drive home.----

She knew there would be a chance of him coming home for his phone so why would she have her lover there? For that matter, wouldn't she give her sister a heads up that he may be coming home??

Good story. I enjoyed it and pay no attention to the darkdunkindonuts2 idiot below with this gem "You should pursue that further and build more suspense with both sisters being cheaters."

Not every woman in every story has to be a cheater, though its funny the witless love that but hate when an ass wipe husband is burn for cheating. Typical misogynistic male idiocy at its finest.

You wrote a damned fine story, a little short perhaps but thats nothing to cry about. All in all a very solid 4.

Interesting story and an angle I haven’t seen before - great job!

Not a bad story overall.

To rushed a ending. A post nut that favors him .cutting her of from her twin sister! To much controlling.

Unless Hubby was as terse in his text to Sweetie as he was to many other times he talked to people, it would not be Sweetie. If she is at the library, she knows he is coming home and would call and alert Sis. If Sweetie is boffing Mercedes Guy, MG is out the door and away. If Sweetie has done this before for Sis and doesn’t know it is happening today, it could happen, but only is Sweetie is not the fuckee!

DNA would not work very well, but older technology might. Demand that MG either gets the Fuckee, via text with sexysiren, to pay for the damage or get fingerprints if MG drove her to Hubbys house..

Not sure why the fuckee would try to get Hubby to talk to her right after the discovery! Also not sure how Hubby could pull MG off the fuckee and not see a bare beaver or a landing strip! And WHO, in this age of smart phones with HD cameras, would not take photos before interrupting the pair?

4*. Cute story, anyway! And MiL was clearly described as older-looking than her daughters!

I find myself agreeing with the Anons for once. As the father of identical twins I assure you there is no way you’d get them to not see each other, and only an inconsiderate fool would try.

However, that being said, you wrote one heck of a story here. Yes, it would have been more effective if you spent more words in the last part—maybe—heck, I don’t know—it’s better than the stuff I write so who am I to talk?

Keep writing—your scores say you’re doing something right—even if some of us question the believability.

"Verity was my mother-in-law and could be a triplet of her daughters. Except for the extra twenty years of experience on her face, she was a dead ringer for her daughters."

Would been more fun for MIL to be the cheater. And what about Beth from work? Mebbe she could get with Dad, after _that divorce.

Way too rushed.

Okay story, 4*

It was good BUTT for a big miss. When did he tell his in-laws and what did they due to Scarlet for trying to trash Sienna's marriage? Where was Dale in giving Sienna some good fatherly verbal spanking? And how did Scarlet turn Steve? But Sienna allowing Scarlet to use her house for a fuck - nope, more needs to be done.

/

Can Baz monitor the house cameras remotely from his Cell? Do the cameras save to file? Trust but verify. What if Sienna brings Scarlet for chit-chat while Baz is at work?

/

4*, Hooyah...

You concentrated more on the techniques, technology, and methods than on the human beings; remember them? If his wife wasn't the whore she at least knew A LOT about her sister being the whore. Why wasn't that part of the story and the normal thinking and actions of the people involved? Where is the logically presumable conversation between the husband and wife about her whore sister? How long had her sister been fucking around? How often did her sister use their house? Where was his wife and child while her sister was fucking in their guest room? Why was she condoning her sister cheating and betraying? Did her mother know that one or both of her daughters were whores? When did her sister join the hookup sight? Did his wife know her sister was trolling for fuck buddies on the Internet? Why didn't she confide in her husband and get his permission to allow his sister in law to use their house for recreational sex? Who cleaned up the bed and the house after the fuck-a-thons? And lots more. It was a very good plot idea, but poorly executed. Better luck next time. But thanks for the effort..

Good story. I like the fast pace. Life can be like that sometimes.

Enjoyed the twist. Did not see it coming. Well done. Could have gone either way.

Anonymousabout 10 hours ago

Always wonder why

So many critics here and none of them can write!

I appreciate the writers time andtalent.

Not my favorite story but, enjoyable. Keep writing.

.

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So what you are saying is if a chef shit on a peice of bread you would eat it because you aint a cook?

Wow. This was an amazing story, I was constantly wondering what the truth was as it could've gone either way. But I have to only give it 4stars because I do think forcing his wife to cut off all contact with her sister was too harsh. Also, I don't understand why she signed that post-prenup, she had nothing to lose especially since it turned out she was telling the truth the whole time.

Twins.

We've seen a few LW stories on twins.

Many good and some just silly.

This was one of the good ones.

Many a writer has tried, understandably,

to write a mystery here in LW.

Looks like that is hard to do.

Judging from the fact

that there are far more bad mysteries here

than good.

Again, this was one of the good ones.

With a cleverly and well worked plot.

I disagree with comments saying the ending was short.

The mystery was solved.

And the path forward clear.

Why wasn't that enough?

I tip my hat to IABH.

He (she) gave us a top shelf story, even though it was short.

I'm grateful for that.

Top ratings from me.

“Hi Sis, remember that new guy I found on line? Well I’m supposed to hook up with him today but Bobby called and wants to hook up. Can you take the new guy this time?”

“Sure Sis, but I want another shot with Bobby! That guy can really lick a pussy.”

So it WAS his wife in the bed, but it was his SIL in the photos. They’d both been fucking around.

Still a good story line and pretty well written.

My question is that if the woman caught in bed with another man was either of the twins why didn't he hear the differences in their voice as one of them screamed for him to listen?

Not really sure I gave this a 4 instead of a 5. Maybe it seemed like small beer after "In The Death Cell" - at least that's how it felt. But it was solid, kept the suspense going till the epiphany, and while the ban on contact with her twin was harsh, there was some justification in it for the consent of her cheating at their house. The postnup was also stern, but just.

This was a good story, but I didn't see why his wife had to sign that post prenup when she didn't do anything wrong. I can understand why her sister needed to be punished, but not the wife. She was also upset by her sister's behavior and how it almost ruined her marriage.

Entertaining! 5 stars

Entertaining.

Good originality, nicely played plot and resolution.

Please delete the dipshits who do nothing but whine and complain about these stories. Go to a g-rated site if you don’t like wives getting railed by someone else. That’s why most everyone else come here.

A bit silly, but fun anyway l scored 4/5

Good story. I was expecting to learn that both sisters were guilty and sharing the account. But it is nice to have a faithful spouse and a happy ending.

Story is stupid. The wife did nothing wrong but the idiot husband still blamed her. She should divorce her idiot husband and take him to the divorce cleaners to take ALL of his possessions!

Good story with a little different slant on the cheating twin sister. I liked his method of discovery, even before the landing strip. Scarlett was a.lying, cheating bitch, and I wouldn't accept her toxic influence on my wife either.

*** SPOILER ALERT (You shouldn't be reading the comments before reading the story, anyway!) ***

This is not an unoriginal story. I enjoyed the concept. There seems to be a dormant underlying theme to this story: the question of what it means to be a man, a husband, and a father, and to what extent those roles affect the decisions we must make in our lives and marriages. You actually mention this specifically in the story and I wish I could have spent more of the story appreciating and thinking about that, but it wasn't set up properly, nor was it capitalized upon in a satisfying way.

I would probably have given this story three stars if it had been posted to the proper category. I don't think that many reasonable people would consider "I caught my wife fucking another guy so I kicked him in the nuts twice" to be an erotic depiction of extramarital sex. "Erotic": as in the name of the website. This story was not erotic. It's just another self-imperious Reddit-like "I hate liars and cheaters and anyone who supports them" story, right down to the PI and the post-nup. I'm a little surprised that getting tested for STDs wasn't mentioned. It's really getting tedious seeing these stories posted to Loving Wives so often.

For these two reasons alone, not erotic and wrong category, I am giving it only one star.

There were some other issues with the story, particularly the dialog which did not read very well. There were also some minor continuity issues, minor grammatical errors, minor spelling errors, and minor punctuation errors, particularly around commas.

The confrontation by the husband with the sister and her lover were believable to a point, but I feel like I was intentionally mislead by the author. However, I admit that the author also gave clues within the story as to the true identity of the malefactor: the fact that the deed was being committed in the guest room was a tell, as well as the smirk which Scarlett gave Baz Sr. as she was leaving his house; both had me guessing that it really was Scarlett and not Sienna, and I found myself hoping that these two clues were not just coincidental story details added for some kind of color.

I really had trouble with the dialog around the confrontation between the husband, the wife, her sister, and the mother. It was not reasonable for the husband to believe that one woman would trash her own marriage to save another woman's marriage, even if that other woman is her twin sister, nor was it believable that the father would also believe this to be a reasonable response from the women; you'd have to convincingly foreshadow that somehow for it to be believable.

I also didn't find it satisfying that the husband didn't catch the pubic hair thing. People who shave their pubic hair don't often get a chance to see how they look without hair, but anyone else who sees them regularly does. People have a self-image which rarely matches what they really look like. It's fairly unlikely that the wife would have noticed the differences in depilatory habits and the husband miss it -- especially when he kissed the area, which indicates that he's not shy in the oral arena. He certainly should have noticed it right away, but even if he did miss it, there would have been something in the back of his mind telling him that the woman in the picture was not his wife, even if he couldn't quite put his finger on the reason for believing that.

The Beth character was problematic. This is a first-person narrative. You have the protagonist-narrator of the story telling the reader about all the subtle and not so subtle ways in which Beth is making a move on the protagonist-narrator, yet you fail to have the protagonist-narrator notice this right away. Your obvious intention was to demonstrate the protagonist-narrator's hatred of liars and cheaters, but it draws you out of the story wondering about his failure to acknowledge the obvious. This problematic plot point can be cured by writing in third-person, either limited or omniscient. Now that I'm thinking about it, third-person omniscient may have provided opportunities for further suspense-building around the reactions of the rest of the cast.

It really bothers me that the protagonist didn't get more details out of his wife. It begs credulity to think that the sister hooks up in the protagonist's guest room the one day when the protagonist forgets his phone, and all coincidentally while the wife is at the library with the kid. Obviously the wife knew all about it; why would she not simply tell her sister, "if he can afford a Benz, he can afford a hotel room"? Someone would have pointed out to the protagonist that the wife knows a lot more and he would have pressed her on it. Her obvious complicity wasn't addressed in the story and leaves it unsatisfying.

This story could easily be a 4-4.5 story with a little reworking, but the way it's written it just comes off as a wish-fulfilment punishment fantasy.

Nice hook….well written. 5 stars

What man would NOT notice an image, identical to his wife, with public hair? Yeah, maybe one in a million, but I was expecting something more sublime, more of an 'Ah-Ha!' moment. You know, like fingerprints on the doorknob. Still, a decent story, and definitely a DIFFERENT spin on the strange-car-in-the-driveway cliché! 5/5!

For all that say that making her ghost her twin sister was harsh and unrealistic, consider that what Scarlett did was despicable. She refused to tell the truth and take responsibility for her own infidelity at the expense of her sisters marriage. She would rather see Sienna's family go down in flames - yes - her twin of which she shared a womb - than admit to a problem she had. She would rather see them divorced, her nephew grow up in a broken household than simply appeal to her sister,, BILL and her parents to keep quiet until she figured out what to do about her marriage. That would have been the reasonable (and realistic) response. As written, Sienna would be furious and probably would have had it out with her sister long before Baz found out the truth.

Nothing about in this story only male fantasy and abuse of women in words. Every secound word i kick you out, do you think any real women go with this shit?

The guy is a pussy? In a country where everybody is armed i want nothing have to do with a uncontrolled asshole who may hit me or worst. To call a wife names doesn't help, if i would do to mine i sit in jail, so your story is fantasy for every yesterday people.

Plot is good but the handling is like the old joke, whats the difference between Marks and murks ..... Marks is the therorie

Well he doesn’t TRUST his wife so what’s the point she should divorce him with full custody with flexible visitation an find someone who trusts an loves her an doesn’t alienate her from any support network an family it’s out of order to implement the stringent controls an cruel it’s very bad for ure mental health to be alienated from people while he’s trying to get it on with his co worker

5 stars - this was a novel twist on the standard LW story - I liked it.

After this kind of treachery, how could this husband ever trust his wife again?

What a conundrum this would create for any spouse married to an identical twin or triplet.

This story leads me to think of other options the author might consider for a sequel or future story:

- untrustworthy identical twins - with just one flaw - a landing strip of short curlies. That flaw could be erased in about 2 seconds - then how will anyone know the difference?

- maybe fingerprints?

I think a small tattoo at the top of the wife's butt crack would be the next best solution - but the sister could duplicate that idea.

About the only way I could ever feel somewhat secure, would be to add eye and fingerprint scanners at the front door?

Yes, a pre-nupt and/or post-nupt contract might be a deterrent - but not if the twins are determined.

He should have his wife get a tattoo....

I was starting to think it was their mom. LP

If he didn't have his phone how did he text his wife? Blows the whole story in first paragraph.

interesting story line...not the same old regurgitated theme.

What about the fact that she used her house as a hookup spot for her sister. Why wasn’t that discussed more?

A good story with an interesting concept.

I just don't like stories that end like this, the last section was not as good as it could have been.

weird, different tale of cheating. yes, allowing a sis, bro to use your house to cheat in is a betrayal also which needs punishment

Sisters this close would not do this. Cheat maybe but not have a better plan.