Ralphie attends a medical

From: Ralph Holston

To: William Bedell

Date: Thurs, 6/14

Subject: RE: Last night...

Will

One day you've got to tell me how you found a woman like Saskia. Also, if she has a sister. Also, if that mother of hers is single, or at least has a thing for well-dressed, courteous southern American gentlemen like me.

I don't mind older women one bit. If she likes a dick up her ass then, well, that's a coincidence because putting my dick up a fine lady's ass is one of ol' Ralphie's favorite things too.

It's funny you should mention jerking off (or "wanking", as you Brits say so quaintly) because I recently found out the medical name for my "condition". Until now I thought I was just a guy unable to keep his cock inside his pants. It turns out I've been suffering from "satyriasis".

Who knew?

This diagnosis came from a doctor, too.

I'd better start telling this story at the beginning.

The firm has instituted a scheme whereby all executives must have a full medical. Yep, to work on the 41st floor of [REDACTED] you need to fill a jar full of piss every half year then spend an hour telling a doctor how you love brown bread.

It's supposed to be 100% confidential but I'll bet if they found coke in my piss then I'd be out the door with the imprint of a boot on my ass.

My turn for the medical came at 4pm Friday. It was lucky I was still in the office because I'd been invited to a very important meeting in The Swan and Duck pub on Kings Street.

I walked into the tiny room that, with typical generosity, the firm had set aside for the medical examinations. The doctor was practically sitting on my knee, which I wouldn't have minded at all because she's a simply gorgeous young woman. Tall and willowy, everything was in proportion. Saskia wouldn't be jealous of her tits but there was enough to make a sausage muffin for some lucky guy, if you know what I mean.

But this woman's biggest assets were her legs and ass, and I thank sweet Jesus that the fashion now is for tight business skirts.

My guess was that she'd just graduated from med school and was trying to clear those student debts by giving medicals to corporate law office workers.

She introduced herself as Dr [REDACTED]. Her light Scottish accent made my cock twitch and her hair was red and wild, like some illustration on the cover of a trashy romance novel. She had amazing pale skin, like you only get in your country, and freckles too. These girls make it look so easy. Why can't all your British women look like this?

But it doesn't start so well. She confirms my name and date of birth as if I've just crawled out from under a stone. It's 4pm and I ain't the first exec from [REDACTED] she's seen that day. I'll bet every one of the fuckers hit on her.

Meanwhile, I'm wondering whether anybody's ever shot their load over that pretty Scottish face of hers...

Is that kind of thing expected nowadays in our modern age of porn? Have all women below the age of 30 had cum on their faces?

Then the questionnaire starts. She asks what I eat. I tell her. She asks if I do regular exercise. I tell her. She takes my blood pressure. I pull-up my shirt sleeve for the cuff and reveal the bicep that I owe to [REDACTED], my personal trainer.

"You're clearly a regular gym visitor," she says, putting the stethoscope in her ears.

"You should see the rest of me," I reply. She doesn't respond. She tells me that the next section of her questionnaire is about sexual health and I can refuse to answer if I want to. I tell her to go right ahead. After all, who in this God-damned firm doesn't know exactly what I get up in the sack?

She asks if I practice safe sex.

"Always," I say. "Ma'am, I'm a southern gentleman, and a gentleman always wears a rubber."

A slight smile appears on her face.

"Number of sexual partners?" she asks.

"This week or all time?"

Another slight smile.

"I've lost count," I say. And I have. If I put a notch in the bedpost for each woman I've laid, there'd be nothing but wood chippings on the floor.

"How about this week?" she says.

I notice she's deviating from the script. My cock notices too.

I pretend to count on my fingers, then say, "Five."

"Five sexual encounters?"

"Four sexual encounters. Five people."

It takes her a split second to work it out, but then the smile is back again.

"Sounds like quite a night," she says. "You must buy those condoms in bulk, Mr Holston."

"I get them through mail order."

(It's true. I do.)

"Have you ever thought you might suffer from satyriasis?"

I raise my eyebrows.

"It's a form of hypersexuality," she continues. "The male equivalent of nymphomania. It comes from the Greek Satyrs. Horned gods who frequently had sex."

I tell her I know all about Greek mythology. After all, I went to the same college as several U.S. presidents. British chicks love it when I slip that into the conversation. (And no, I didn't know President Clinton--he was already president when I was still at high-school, although my father plays golf with him.)

"Does your sexuality cause a problem for you?" she asks.

I think about the times I've been late for work because I had two hours sleep after spending the night fucking, or the jobs I've lost because I fucked the wife of my boss, or his daughter. Earlier that day [REDACTED] had flown in from Japan for a really fucking important meeting about the [REDACTED] merger, and I missed it because I was in a store room with my cock in the mouth of [REDACTED], a paralegal from the fifth floor.

Now, back with the good doctor, she starts to deviate from the script. Majorly. She reaches across and unzips my fly. She does this as if it's the most natural thing in the world and for a split second I think it might be part of the medical examination. Then she pulls my cock out, and even I know that ain't what normally happens, although I'm quite glad she isn't a male doctor.

She gets on her her knees in front of me then swallows my cock. It's like I've just dared her to deep throat me.

She looks up.

"It's been a very long and trying day," she says. "Can you make me cum?"

"Yes, ma'am," I say, laughing because I'm still a bit shocked. "I'll make you cum as many times as you want."

She gets up and locks the door, then I stand behind her, reaching around to unbutton her blouse and cup her breasts in my hands.

It's like I'm the first guy ever to touch her. She's panting.

I hitch her skirt up, then massage those insane ass cheeks through her silk panties.

Silk stockings too and she was wearing a garter belt.

"Do you always dress like this for work?" I asked.

"I'm going on a date later," she said, breathlessly, unclipping her stockings so I could pull down her panties. "I hoped I'd get some a fuck today. I need it! I just didn't -- Oh God, keep doing that!"

I'd reached around to stroke her pussy--trimmed not shaved, and beautifully soft. I'd pushed through the lips and was lightly brushing my wet fingertip against her clitoris.

She bent over the table, standing with her legs apart, and I fell to my knees. That magnificent ass was in front of me but it was her pussy that deserved attention. I buried my face in it.

Had you seen us, you might have thought I'd lost something in her pussy and was trying to get it out with my tongue. At one point I was literally fucking her with my nose as I tried to get my tongue on her clit.

Then it was time to give her asshole some attention. I had nothing more than a hunch she'd be into it, but when I started to push my tongue into the gap between her ass cheeks she reached around and held them apart.

Young women today, My God. This kinda thing wouldn't have happened when I was her age.

"You won't believe how hard it is to find a guy who's into what you're doing!" she says, panting.

Lucky her. Lucky me. There ain't nothing I won't do to an asshole in the course of sexual exploration so I rimmed the hard puckered flesh while I finger-fucked her pussy.

"Get on the floor," she ordered.

I lay flat, expecting a nice bit of cowgirl.

But this doctor had other ideas.

She squatted over my face, lowering her pussy onto my mouth and grinding against me.

"This is most kinky, my fine British madam!" I said.

Actually, what I said was "Mmph mph mmpph mmpph!", because I had pussy in my mouth.

She rocked on her Jimmy Choos, pushing her cunt against me. All I had to do was flick my tongue against the hardness of her clit when it came my way. After just a few minutes her fingernails grasped my chest, she stopped moving and was silent for a split second before letting out a scream of orgasm.

She fell back onto her ass, then let out of a laugh when she looked at me. I knew why. Her pussy juices were covering my face. They'd even started to slick back my hair. She's a woman who comes hard.

I smile like a gentleman, then lift her to her feet and bend her back over the desk. Slipping a condom on, I push my cock into her slippery hole. She lets out a low, long moan as I start slapping against her ass.

"Harder!" she shouts, like some kind of weredevil.

Lucky for us the office is virtually empty. Everybody was at that meeting in the pub I mentioned earlier. If any cleaners hear us then it's nothing they haven't heard before, at least not if they'd been anywhere near my office late at night. Hell, a couple of the lucky ones have experienced Ralphie's cock in person.

I follow the good doctor's instructions and fuck her harder, slapping her ass for good measure. Looking down I see my dick pounding in and out beneath that beautiful love-heart that's her ass... I'm tempted to reach for my cellphone to take a picture but that probably woudn't've been too bright.

I gently pull apart her ass cheeks. I spit on my thumb and rub it against the puckered skin as I pound against her.

She turns and looks back at me as if she's having the time of her life, groaning and then clenching her eyes shut as she cums. That's another thing your British girls do. In my experience they really play on the whole innocence thing with us American guys. With girls in the US you can pretty much tell how many cocks they've had at a glance. A British girl could simultaneously deep throat two guys while two guys fuck her behind, then five minutes later she'll look as if she's yet to pop her cherry.

I pull off the condom and then it's my turn to groan.

"I'm gonna cum!" I just about manage to say.

She looks back at me with a mischievous grin. I pull out and then look down to see jet after jet of spunk spurts up her back. Some even gets in her hair. As I catch my breath, I rubbed my cock between the cleft of her ass cheeks.

It turns out I passed the medical. I got her cellphone number and might just give her a call some time...

--Ralph