All Comments on 'Real Love Ch. 30'

Seems like a novelized MBA capstone. There was more "story" in Sharing. Just my opinion, but rewrites are fought with the challenge of others having read the original work.

I loved it, I wish there was more to the series.

More?

More??? Maybe. Let's see what happens.

Thanks

It is a very good well thought out and planned story .Certainly worth 4 stars.

After the intrigue and excitement of the beginning I was always expecting something new and dramatic to happen, but after dealing with Charles there is just one long rather slow meandering tale.

There are too many questions raised in the series that are just left unanswered with no follow up.

For example

Was there a connection between Jack and Charles?

Did Danny know about Charles obsession with Kelly?

Was Danny part of it?

Were guests being blackmailed?

What was done to rectify that?

What did Chuckie want to say?

What happened to him?

Entertaining read for original and subsequent. It does suffer from the basic weaknesses inherent in large seral stories: your initial framing can really hamper the evolving metanarrative. Really large serials like these require careful outlining and a very clear easy to discern metanarrative. Failure to adhere to this principle results in the author going through all kinds of insane gyrations in subsequent plotting including lots of deux ex machina inserts that increasingly add confusion as the reader plods through the latter episodes. It is unfortunate and these stories seem to have been modified on the fly...which makes some confusion as we seem to add and eliminate character threads at will. For example the blackmail seems to be a deux ex machina insert with little explaination...it just hangs there slowly twisting in the wind. That is just one example...and makes this stuff much more abstruse that I was expecting.

Still the author is a superior writer...but these two tales could use some serious rewriting, simplification and clarification,

loved the story, when's the wedding?

I read all 30 chapters before I wrote anything butt, I think it needs one more chapter for the wedding

I like and wood like to see it continue

I read all 30 chapters in 1 go. I hope someday you add a second book of this storie. Keep writing

Sorry this version of the original story didn't make it better. I finally quit after 22 or 23. Too much phyco babble and no story. I read the original then this straight through. And ps. a 9mm is not a revolver

Dear rickydean56 - Check out the Taurus 905 9mm revolver.

Overall, I liked the basic story, but there were some very obvious weaknesses.

Often the narration felt like short summaries, strangely disconnected, only mentioning in passing things that either should have been fleshed out more or being omitted altogether.

Many of the chapters didn't advance the story at all and consisted just of Brad or the others retelling something that happened before or has been made clear before (like Brads philosophy), while the listeners feel enlightened as if Jesus has personally spoken with him.

Some of Brads (and others) behaviour wasn't appropriate. That includes openly teasing your siblings and assistants during business meetings or presentations with others, talking about private matters of themselves or others, fake firings, and bogus contracts. I wouldn't want to work with someone who does that. It wasn't really clear what the owners were even expected to do with the business apart from going everywhere to preach "let's be a family" to the employees and revising the handbook.

There are plot points that are never really explored further (like the stash of secret recordings in the bunker and Danny's role in them or the two other guys besides that fired VP who wanted to take over the business by... uhm, asking the owners to gift it to them? that was bizarre).