by AveryTomDeaconHarry
Loved your story. It has been done soooo many times before ("Please put the lotion on my back") and the whole first-time seduction but you managed to keep it interesting and sexy. The only suggestion I would make is to stay away from the stupid phrases like "flood me with your love cream." NOBODY would say a thing like that! Thanks for a well written story
Good Characters, Good buildup, Excellent heighth.
No denounment. That is, there wasn't anything afterwards. Could have been a bit of that to add more to the story.
Rebecca seemed real excited by watching her brother fuck her friend. Maybe the two guys should have fun with both of the girls.
Excellent build up mate. Although I would have given you ZERO if you didn't let him cum in her mouth :p
Another possibility: They have the whole weekend to fuck and fuck they do. But she has not kept track of her temperature risings and fallings, and they fuck right into her monthly fertile period without concern for birth control.
That was really good. I came 3 times. I think I bruised my clit. Thanks. You should write about the next day when he gets her in the ass.
I loved the story, although a few things were a little off. If the girl was shy...why would she be blowing kisses and winking at him...seriously think about the real world. Another thing that really freaked me out was the girl was way to intrigued with her brothers little sexual act...that is way too gross to be sexy. But, otherwise the content was great, and the way you can build up the anticipation is astounding...makes me think of an actual sexual act. A lot of other writers i have read here could definitely learn a thing or two from you. Fantastic writing.
I loved the story, I was just turned off by the fact that she was all excited about watching her brother fuck and wanted to feel his cum in her friends pussy.
Of course I think you need to continue this damned good story!! I also think that the two sets fo brothers/sisters should eventually get together for a foursome and every body gets some of everybody!! Including some brother/sister action on both side and maybe even let the two girls fo at it some. There are so many good possibilities for this story!!! Go for it all!!!
Please write some more on these characters. Plus, u can add the sister in!
Well developed story. I agree with a comment from a fellow reader that it could be interesting to add the guy's sister into the equation, or maybe a sister of the girl in the story.
Although I liked this story....I've read it before elsewhere. Only it was the best friend's father taking the girl's virginity. It was the exact same....the girl fucking her brother, how she was on top, how she felt good about being opened up.....
Would have liked it more if it had been original.
dont include the other brother and sister its a little weird fucking ur own sibling
Stupid story. I think the writer is a little perverted. Giving hints of sibling sex and all.
they didnt fucked eachother bout his sister and her borther fucking there not family, its just to make the story have more action its nothing bad
The author has taken most of this from the story "cindy does her best friends dad" over at argasm.com
can't you write your own stories you thief?
This story should never have been posted in this form, because it is not complete. I was expecting a proper ending and got an outline. It was still a good read, but could have been better.