All Comments on 'Rebecca's'

by sissynewbie

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  • 5 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

You went home shocked and ashamed - you shouldn't have because you have written a wonderful story. Your presentation of characters and stiuation/location is very realistic.

There are a few spots that might indicate typos or perhaps English as a second language; nothing tremendously noteable for inquiring readers. I have identified a few portions that I feel might be better represented, and given suggestions

How the tops of her stockings look like or how kind of garter - I think you meant stockings looked or what the tops of her stockings looked like

I stared for a few minutes in the - this might have been at the display. You could strare at/through the display

I have a quite of them - I have quite a _____ (few/collection) of them

Tare off boxers too - perhaps Rebecca is learning English as a second language or you may have meat take off the/your boxers too

With my face painted red, I have opened the door and went back - With my face red/crimsom/flushed pink with a blush/from blushing I have opened the door and gone back/returned . .

Here tare then - should have bean these as she has handed him a new pair of panties: the boxers are in the bin (garbage/trash)

When you will do that - implies that he is to return to the shop and shave his privates there - when you have done that is what I believe you intended/meant.

Please continue writing, your story is refreshing and believable and many of us await further chapters from you.

cheshirekatt40cheshirekatt40over 2 years ago

Very nice story. But as noted in an earlier post, grammar is a problem. A good spelling/grammar checker would spot most of them for correction. Keep writing, your effort is appreciated.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I had a similar experience and it left me tongue-tied too.

TheAce0fHeartsTheAce0fHeartsabout 2 years ago

Wow. Uhm... you get an A for effort and your creativity is wonderful, but holy shit do you need a proofreader. The creativity is hot, but besides that, it's almost indecipherable. I highly suggest you take a remedial English spelling and grammar course if you're at all serious about being a writer. Putting it as nice as I can, this is AWFUL.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

I thought it was a good story and reminded me of my experiences as a young man in Toronto in the 1990s. I too, found a small lingerie shop near Jane and Annette. The owner, a wonderful lady, was very understanding and supportive as my interest in lingerie and cross-dressing developed. Nothing erotic ever occurred, she was very friendly and even helped me determine my bra size.

Anonymous
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