All Comments on 'Red Eye'

Fuck me, couldn't even get down a quarter of the page, I suggest an editor, or better yet go back to school and learn how to write.

The last comment about an editor isn't a bad idea, but I think the main issue I have with this is the use of text message like shorthand. If one of your characters is sending or receiving a txt, it's okay to read that. When a character is thinking or taking out loud, how often do adults of any age speak in IM shorthand? Saying oh my god out loud, and textibg as OMG are fine, but unless you are an air-head tenager, most people don't say OMG that often (it does happen just not as much as was written here). Anyhow nice try, thanks for sharing. 2*