Rekindle

I had never desired anyone more than I desired Laura in that moment. Stacy and all the other sorority girls were just casual one-night stands, the occasional fuck to satisfy a physical urge. But this was different. Thinking of Laura made my heart sting with an odd pain. It clouded my judgment and sent my emotions into a frenzy. Standing next to her and facing her rejection, these strange but undeniable feelings burst to the surface.

"I can't help the way I feel. I love you, L." My voice cracked on the last word, partly from emotion and partly from uncertainty. How could I say that to my own cousin? I gritted my teeth and swallowed hard in order to suppress the tears. I hated myself for being so desperate and vulnerable.

"I love you too, Ben. Just not like that." Laura placed her hand on mine and gave a consoling squeeze. It was cold comfort.

Exhaling a burst of hot air through my flared nostrils, I snatched my hand from her and stormed off.

--

I couldn't stay. I couldn't. It would drive me crazy. As I paced angrily around the living room, sniffling and wiping the water from my eyes, I spotted the bright sunlight shining through the open front door. Who would stop me?

I stormed towards it, forgetting about my belongings and completely neglecting to consider that my only mode of transport would be to hijack my uncle's car. My footsteps slammed louder and louder as I became more and more blinded by emotion. I was totally throwing a fit. What happened to the cool, calm, and suave Ben that attracted so many college girls? I didn't know, and I didn't care. I shoved that self-awareness and fear of losing control to the back of my mind and let my anger take over.

I made it two steps outside before I was tackled to the ground.

"There you are, you little shit!" Aunt Beth's son, Mike, had pinned me down and was roughing up my hair with his knuckles.

The sudden violence shook me out of my feelings. "Mikey, is that you? You rat bastard! Where the hell did you come from?" I shoved him off me.

"Came straight from your girl's place! Guess she found herself a bigger man." Mike opened up his arms, as if challenging me to a fight.

"Yeah, right! Only thing you've fucked is your pillow, you virgin." I reached out to slap him, but he deflected my attack.

"That's enough, you two! And quit it with the profanity. There are kids here!" Carrie snapped.

Eric giggled. "It's alright, Aunt Carrie! I'm not a kid anymore. I'm all grown up now."

"Aw, sure you are, sweetie! Sure you are." Carrie bent down and kissed Mike's little brother on the cheek.

Behind them, Aunt Beth and her husband unloaded their station wagon. Mike and I put an end to our battle of masculinity and hugged it out.

"You look like shit," he noted.

"And you smell like it," I retorted.

"What can I say? It gets sweaty tapping all that pusssaaayy, y'know what I mean? Heh heh heh!" Mike joked quietly to avoid Carrie's ire. He shoved me towards the cabin. "C'mon, let's grab a beer and catch up."

I resisted his attempt to push me inside. "You go in and grab the beers. I'll wait outside."

"What do you mean outside? It's cold as balls out here, bro!"

"Aw, is little Mikey afraid of the snow?" I mocked. "Don't be a pussy. C'mon, let's sit out on the logs like we used to."

"Yeah, and get blasted like we used to," he whispered, prompting both of us to burst out in snickers. "Alright, you got me. Find us a good spot. I'll be right back."

"Hey, L. How are ya?" Mike paused just short of the porch steps, seemingly forgetting about our beers. He waved up at Laura, who was still standing on the balcony.

"Hi, Mike. Nice to see you again." Laura responded with a warm smile.

"You settle down with a decent boy yet?"

Laura giggled. "None of your business."

"C'mon, you can tell me! Is he cute?"

Not wanting to hear any more about Laura's love life, I prodded Mike with a slap on the back. "Man, just get the goddamn beers!"

"Alright, chill! I'm going, I'm going! Sheesh, what the hell..." He disappeared through the doorway.

I looked up to see Laura retreating back into her room.

--

Mike and I caught up and joked around on the logs beside the cabin until nightfall. By the end of it, empty beer bottles were strewn across the ground. Mike was slumped against a log, mouth agape and snoring loudly. I was left with nothing to do and was too distracted to sleep. I decided to grab another beer and wallow in my sorrows in the quiet night air.

The cabin had gone dark, presumably because everyone was asleep. As I entered, I heard a faint sobbing coming from the living room. Concerned that Mike's little brother was having nightmares again, I rushed over.

"Eric, buddy, is that you? There are no monsters, I promise."

When I peeked over the couch, I realized that it was Laura. She was slumped over, sobbing into her knees. As soon as she heard me, she snapped up and wiped her face with her palms.

Taking a deep breath, she gathered herself. "Sorry, I thought you had gone in for the night. Eric's fine. I tucked him in an hour ago." Her voice was nasally, making it obvious that she had been crying for a while. "Where's Mike?"

"He's passed out outside." I nodded towards the front door. "Probably getting eaten by a bear," I mumbled.

Laura giggled out loud. But the very next moment, an awkward silence fell over us again. I could see a few empty bottles on the coffee table, indicating that she had been drinking too.

I decided to take a chance. "You look like you could use a drinking buddy. I could use one, too."

She seemed to hesitate for a moment, glancing at the stairs which were her escape. Then, she looked back at me. Despite the dark, her watery eyes glistened in the moonlight. "I suppose another beer won't hurt. Just don't think I'm some alcoholic."

I shook my head. "I don't think that... anymore."

She snickered and gave me a gentle nudge towards the kitchen.

I sighed in relief and flashed a nervous smile. "Cool." I ran to the fridge and returned with a beer in each hand.

We sat down on the couch, our postures rigid and an awkward space between us. An uneasy tension lingered over us as we sipped our drinks in silence.

When our bottles were a quarter empty, I finally spoke up. "Were you crying because of me?"

After calming down with the help of Mike and the alcohol, I felt genuinely guilty about the way I had treated Laura. She was only doing what she thought was right, after all. There were certain desires we shouldn't give in to.

Laura shook her head. "Not you specifically. Just... this whole thing is messed up. Is it wrong for us to feel this way?"

I knew what the answer was, but she had practically admitted that she felt the same way, and my desire overcame any morality or logic.

"You know, I cried over you, too," I admitted.

Laura turned to me with a shocked expression on her face.

I chuckled softly. "Yeah. I almost left, too. I would have, if Mike hadn't pummeled me."

"Oh, Ben..." Her voice was filled with tearful emotion.

I sighed and shook my head. "I just can't help it, L," I whispered. "You're all I think about. I'm going crazy."

"What are we going to do?" she asked fearfully.

"I... I don't know."

I placed my hand onto the couch in the space between us. Slowly, Laura slid hers closer until it was over my palm. The feeling of her fingers gently brushing against mine sent sparks through my entire body. Our fingers interlocked, and we held each other tightly for a long moment. How wrong could it be if we both desired it so badly?

I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed it softly. Then, I worked my way up her arm until I had pulled her to me. Our noses brushed against each other, ever so lightly. I immediately became erect. It strained against my pants and throbbed desperately. I placed a hand on her cheek and wiped the tears with my thumb, then brushed her hair behind her ears. She inhaled a shaky breath. I could practically sense her arousal.

We closed our eyes, and, finally, our lips met once again. The taste of her mouth sent my emotions into overdrive. I pressed into her lovingly and felt her push back with equal intensity. For several minutes, the empty expanse of the cabin echoed with the suction of our lips and the sounds of our light moaning.

Unable to resist any longer, I pushed Laura onto her back and tore her pants and panties off in one motion. I left her sweater on and didn't even bother taking off my own pants. As soon as Laura unbuckled my belt and zipper, I shoved her hands away and aimed my member.

The tip had barely pierced her labia when a sudden noise from the front door sent us flying off the couch once again.

"Fuck!" I whispered frustratedly. We pulled our pants back up and caught our breath before turning towards the entrance.

Mike stumbled through the doorway. "B, you in here? Grab me another beer, will ya? Urgh!"

Laura and I caught him before he planted his face onto the wooden floor. We glanced at each other nervously, praying that Mike hadn't seen anything in his drunken stupor.

Thankfully, it didn't seem like he did. "Laura, is that you? It's way... buurrrrrp... past your bedtime, young lady!"

"I know, Mike. I know. Let's get you some rest." Laura helped me carry him up the stairs. "You got this?" she asked as we arrived at my room.

I nodded silently and watched her disappear into her room. Our eyes met for a brief moment before she shut the door.

Turning back to Mike, I let out a disappointed sigh. "Alright, big guy. Let's get you to sleep."

--

I woke up to the sound of overlapping voices. Sitting up on the bed, I rubbed my eyes and shook my head. Upon reorienting myself, I realized that the noises emanated from downstairs. It sounded like people yelling over each other. Then, it dawned on me. Amber must have arrived.

I jumped off the bed and kicked Mike, who was sleeping facedown on the floor with a pillow underneath his head.

He turned over and slapped me away. "Umph! What is it?"

"Mike, get up. It's Amber."

Mike sat up and listened to the sounds from downstairs. "Aw, shit." He flew up, and we rushed downstairs. "I knew this was a bad idea."

"...is their money! Why else would you be here? You don't even like the snow. You've always hated it. And now, you come slithering in here-"

"Alright, alright. Let's all calm down!" Mike rushed in to separate the two sisters.

Rob and Carrie each held onto one of their daughters, trying desperately to convince her to stop fighting. Amber had arrived in a faux fur coat, tight jeans, and knee-high leather boots. Around her arm hung a designer handbag. Upon seeing me, she removed her oversized sunglasses and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, here comes your knight in shining armor."

"Nice to see you too, Amber." Without looking at her, I walked over to Laura and pushed her back.

"Let go of me!" Laura attempted to fight back and reached an arm out, as if intending to strangle her sister.

"What are you gonna do, huh? What are you gonna do?" I whispered as I led her to the other side of the living room. "Fight your own sister, in front of everyone?"

She looked around. With the exception of Amber, everyone was staring at us, including little Eric, who hid fearfully behind the staircase railing. She scoffed and shoved me away.

"Come on," Carrie pleaded. "Let's all head out and have a good time! What do you say?" She was referring to the ski trip we had planned for that day.

"I'm not going anywhere with that parasite." Laura spat her words out like venom.

"Ha! So pouty and childish. When are you ever gonna grow up?"

"That's enough, Amber." Mike's severe tone silenced her for the time being.

Laura looked up at me. "I'm not going. I won't. You can't make me!" Her eyes welled up.

"Hey, hey. No one's making you do anything. You don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to. I'll stay right here with you." I gave her a reassuring smile.

She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my chest. Despite the seriousness of the situation, I couldn't stop the arousal from flooding my veins, especially after the denial I had endured the night before. I embraced her tightly, kissing the top of her head and inhaling her flowery aroma.

--

After half an hour of packing their snow gear, our family prepared to head out the door.

"Are you sure you're not coming with us?" Carrie pleaded with her daughter one last time.

Laura remained silent and refused to look at her mother.

Carrie turned to me. "Watch her, will you?"

I gave her a reassuring nod.

"We won't fit into one car with all the gear," Uncle Rob noted as the group filed out the door.

"We can take my Mercedes," Amber chimed.

I glanced outside to see a silver G-Wagon parked on the driveway.

"Nice car! Which 87-year-old exec did you blow to get that?!" Laura yelled as she slammed the door shut. She proceeded to kick it repeatedly with her bare foot.

"Alright, alright! You're gonna shatter your foot if you keep that up." I held her leg in place.

She turned around and sighed annoyedly. "Ugh, what are we gonna do now? I was looking forward to skiing."

I cocked an eyebrow suggestively. "Chill by the fireplace with some morning wine?"

Laura scoffed. "Who's the alcoholic now?"

"What are you talking about? I heard a bit of wine can be good for you, actually."

"Yeah, and I suppose snorting cocaine is good for you, too," she retorted.

"Hey, I never did coke."

"No?"

"No. I only sold it."

We burst into laughter. I always admired Laura's bright smile and sense of humor, but in that moment, I found it incredibly sexy.

When we calmed down, the memories came flooding back. "I still can't believe you did that. God, you were such an idiot. What were you thinking?" Her tone wasn't judgmental, but caring.

I shook my head. "All I know is, you saved me from that. I'm a better person because of you," I said truthfully.

We stared tenderly at each other for a long moment. Almost instinctively, I began to slowly lean in.

Laura dodged my attempt at kissing her. "I'll grab the wine. I think I know where dad hid it."

I chuckled to myself. "Alright. I guess I'll get the fire started."

--

Laura rested her head on my shoulder as we sat side by side sipping wine from our glasses. I wrapped my arm around her waist and held her tightly. The flames from the fireplace kept us warm.

"Were we really about to do it?" she finally asked.

I glanced back at the couch where pure ecstasy almost found us.

I shrugged. "I wasn't really thinking. I probably wouldn't have stopped, though," I admitted.

"What are you thinking about now?" That was a loaded question, and she knew it.

"About you."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, that part's obvious. What about me?"

I swallowed nervously. "About you... without your clothes... in my bed." My eyes darted back and forth while my cheeks burned.

I could feel her trembling against me.

"What were you thinking when you kissed me that day?" I asked. It was her turn to confess.

Laura gave a subtle nod. "Something similar." She could barely utter the words.

Her lips pouted in guilt, but her eyes were alight with desire, paralleling the conflicting emotions tearing at me as well.

She closed her eyes and sighed. "God, what's wrong with us, Ben?"

I nuzzled against her face. "I don't know, L. But I'm going to regret it if I leave here without kissing you again. Without..."

Without making love to her. But I couldn't bring myself to say it.

Suddenly, Laura took my wine glass from me and placed it onto the coffee table along with hers. Then, she straddled me and wrapped her arms around my neck, combing her fingers through my hair. I let out a silent groan as her weight pressed against my erection. She gave me a long and deep kiss.

"There. Happy?" she whispered.

"Very," I replied with a satisfied grin.

Laura placed a finger on my lips as I leaned up to return her kiss. "Wait. If we're going to do this, we need to lay down some ground rules."

"Ground rules? I think we're past following any rules."

She bit her lip and gave me a bashful look.

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, fine. We'll do it your way. Lay down the law, sheriff!" I saluted.

Laura giggled. "Well, first, we have to take things slow. You can't just do me out in the open with a house full of people."

I let out a pouty groan. "But being spontaneous is what makes it fun."

"I'm serious. If Mike had seen us, we'd be dead." She gave me a stern look.

I sighed. "Fine. Slow it is." I embraced her and brushed my lips against her ear. "Can I see you naked now?"

Laura scratched my neck softly. "If you promise me one thing."

"Anything, my love." I shook my head, as if to tell her how silly she was to think that it took any convincing for me to do her bidding.

"I'm not just some slut for you to bang as you please, and then toss aside when you're done." When she saw me about to protest, she responded, "I know how you are."

I scoffed incredulously. "Laura, you mean so much more to me than that. I don't give a shit about those stupid college broads. You're more beautiful than they could ever hope to be. I need you so much it fucking hurts. Don't you understand that? This is the most wrong and twisted thing I've ever done in my life, and I've done some shit. Yet, there's not a single cell in my body that's willing to stop. I love you, Laura. That's what you mean to me."

Her eyes welled up and she flashed a bright smile. She nodded in agreement.

"Besides, if that's all I wanted, I could just call a hooker. Way simpler than falling in love with my cousin." I winked.

She laughed and rolled her eyes, barely surprised anymore that I would bring levity to such a meaningful moment.

I chuckled and brushed her tears aside with my thumb. "So, what's rule number two?"

She pondered for a moment, then shrugged. "I dunno. I'll make it up as we go."

"See? Spontaneous." I pulled her to me and stuck my tongue into her mouth.

--

I fanned the dying flames as Laura removed her clothes behind me. By the time I turned back around, she was laying on the floor, completely naked.

I scanned her body from head to toe. "Goddamn, you are beautiful."

Her pale white skin glowed stunningly against the fireplace. Every inch of her slim but curvaceous body demanded to be kissed, licked, and teased. Her perfectly round breasts were just supple enough to fall slightly to the sides when she lay on her back. Her little pink nipples looked so suckable that I almost thought I would never want to put my lips on anything else. But of course, my eyes inevitably caught sight of her blushing vulva and moist labia, finished off gorgeously by a thin brown strip of hair emanating from her engorged clit. Her long, flawless legs were complimented nicely by her shapely feet and smooth soles. Her curled toes were finished in a seductive red polish.

She blushed brightly. "No one's ever seen me like this," she admitted.

"You mean, you've never..."

She shook her head. My heart pounded even harder knowing that I was about to take my cousin's virginity.

I removed my clothes in a flurry of desperation and tossed them aside. Then, I opened her legs and slid in between them. Just as I was about to enter her, she put a hand on my pelvis and stopped me.

"I want to cum, Ben." She stared at me with raw lust in her eyes.

"Th-that's what I was about to..." I attempted to penetrate her again, brushing my cockhead against her flushed lips.

Still, she held me off, shaking her head. "Not with that."

I cocked an eyebrow.

"You know..." Laura stuck her tongue out and licked the air.