Rena of the River 02

Rena of the River 02

"Cameraman Harold! Put the donut down and roll the camera in three, two, one, hi, Gale Storms from TV3 coming to you live the scrawny tree backyard of Franky who has organized the highly anticipated hunt and discovery of the mythical Rena of the River and put her story to bed once and for all. So, Franky, tell my viewers why your confidence is so high that you will finally expose the mythical Rena of the River tonight then, go ahead."

Oh, um, it's the perfectly aligned Friday night on the 4th of July holiday weekend and this represents the 30th anniversary of her demise and she was nearing the age of 30 when she finally realized that letting her full and shapely boobs out wouldn't be the worst thing to ever happen to her, so, hey TV land."

"And Franky, for my viewers and for a little mommy ego boast, tell my viewers why you gave up the lead of the investigation to my middle daughter, Kendall, so, go ahead."

"Oh, um, as what I feel is the absolute chance to capture Rena of the River in all of her translucent glory, I mean, I felt it was very important to have someone take the lead who had an investigating reporting background and with camera experience. Also, Kendall basically storm armed her way onto my team and she refuses to zip up her nylon zipper warm up suit and my possible boyfriend and I have been fighting and his torpedo may be armed and ready to fire, so your middle daughter, Kendall fit best up front, so."

"Alright then, Franky, for my viewers, is it true that you're hoping to set Rena of the River at peace partly because you falsely accused her of floating through your bedroom walls at night and ruffling through your undies at night? Tell it true for my viewers, Franky, go ahead."

"Well, I may have a little false news on that situation, Gale Storms, but all that has been put to rest now and I can admit in public that was not Rena of the River ruffling through my undies at night, so."

"Okay, having called out your step sister's faggot boyfriend then, Franky, tell my viewers what you think Rena of the River may look like since there are no known photos of a woman who never existed in the first place, go ahead."

"I mean, she's beautiful and she maintained a wonderful hourglass figure a lot like yours, Gale Storms and her complexion is that of peaches and cream and she is just the idyllic "woman", even though that is politically incorrect to say these days, so"

"(Cameraman Harold, pan across my body!) So, Franky, if this flotilla that has massed behind your efforts tonight and you actually come face to spirit with Rena of the River, what will say to her then?"

"I mean, all I want is to set her free, Gale Storms, free from the murky waters of the Middleton River and maybe a selfie or two, but the silly rumors that I'm hoping for a spiritual 3-way with her, my possible boyfriend Max and myself are just false, Gale Storms."

"(Pan Cameraman Harold, pan the camera.) There you have it, folks. One of Middleton's most well-balanced Tranny boy's is on the hunt to free Rena of the River and to offer his possible boyfriend, Max, a platter full of both worlds (pan to my daughter, Cameraman Harold) and that's my daughter, tee, he, in all her glory, at the lead. (Hey, Cameraman Harold, that's enough of my daughter in her unzipped and flappy sweat suit!). So, viewers, we will await the outcome and update our report later. So, Franky, any final words before your flotilla casts off, go ahead?"

"Oh, um, I'm not sure where all these boats came from other than my friend's social media skills and popularity, but, um, my phone has been blowing up since you started interviewing me and it appears that you yourself have like eight offers for a seat on a boat and I do have one extra nylon zipper sweat suit fresh in the shopping bag, so? Oh, wait, um, ooh, but there isn't any room for Cameraman Harold, apparently, so? Are we still live, by the way?"

Well, what better way to top off an investigation team with the adult daughter taking it up front and her momma news lady taking it in back, right? I mean, taking the lead of the investigation! Maybe.

"We're still fighting, Max, so keep your focus at the helm and on the surface of the river for peaches and cream shoulders!"

[Mwah, oomph, mwah, smooch, smack, smack]

"That was just for good luck, Max, but I'm mad as a torpedo with you for standing me up!"

"Franky, you are so curious about what happens above "just slightly above casual" encounters, so?"

"Well, maybe and maybe, I mean, you'll never know now how I was going to make a late decision and maybe point your torpedo somewhere other than at wash cloth and you'll never know how maybe I have been thinking that I could let you catch me wiping up something from the floor in just my undies and while on my hands and knees, so?"

"Hmm, it sounds to me like you're going to push back, Franky, so?"

"Ahem! And it sounds to the rest of the flotilla that all this sexy talk could wait until we have a decent separation of the boats! Jeez."

Huh, it's funny how you lose track of things when you're trying to figure out if the torpedo thing is right for you at the time, so, tee, he, my bad!

"Oops, sorry, Marla, sorry everyone, so, tee, he, so, let's get with the crisscrossing of the flashlights then, shall we, tee, he?"

And not one person called out Max, so, huh about that then. I mean, give the guy with a real torpedo a break and call out the one who has a limited number of torpedo tubes, right? At least there was good separation of the flotilla anyways.

"Hi everyone, Gale Storms of TV3 live from the Rena of the River investigation flotilla coming to you via my cell phone. So far, viewers, there haven't been any sightings of Rena of the River, but the teams are not giving up (pull up closer to the sissy boy, Jake and pull out of me while I do another quick interview). Franky, Franky, are you discouraged or are a real trooper then, go ahead?"

"I'm not discouraged, Gale Storms of TV3. I can sense her presence and I have been in enough "slightly above casual" encounters to sense that Mr. Jake wants this quickie interview to end now. Also, the now famous Wyoming style is safer in a boat, Gale Storms of TV3, so?"

"Tee, he, Franky, before I go all Wyoming cowgirl on my new friend, Jake, don't you think it would be more to the point if you dropped your nylon sweat suit so Rena of the River might think that you're out for a swim too? I mean, you have been outed as looking more like a woman down there than a woman does, so, go ahead."

"Geez, Gale Storms of TV3, well, I mean, well, I may prance around in ridiculous exercise shorts once in a while, but I'm wearing a little less than that tonight underneath my nylon zipper sweat suit. Although, if your slut daughter can do..."

"(Zip, zag, wavey, interference) tee, he, sorry viewers, but cell phone service is not the best on the river, so, this is Gale Storms of TV3 signing off for now."

And that's how you get one of the flotilla boats to slowly peel purr off to the left, folks.

"So, Franky, back to the other investigation where you're dying to know what lies just beyond that silly "slightly above casual" encounter then, hmm?"

[Mwah, oomph, mwah, smooch, smack, smack]

"Screw off, Max. But you're wearing me down."

[Mwah, oomph, mwah, smooch, smack, smack]

"But screw off anyways, Max."

So, from a distance in the darkness of the river, right? It could have looked like I was kneeling in the boat like I was searching for the flare gun, right? I mean, I was curious and all, so.

[Slurp, whoa, gulp, geez, ag, ow, slurp, ag, ag, ag, woo, ag, gag, gag, slurp, ugh, ugh, ooh, ow, ooh]

"OMG, Max, blow your torpedo already, I'm ready and I can take it!"

"Oh, it's almost ready, Franky, it's almost ready, oh, oh, way above "slightly above casual" Franky."

[Slurp, whoa, gulp, geez, ag, ow, slurp, ag, ag, ag, woo, ag, gag, gag, slurp, ugh, ugh, ooh, ow, ooh]

And then, unknown to me because I was too engulfed engulfing Max's torpedo!

"OMG, TV3 viewers, this is Gale Storm's daughter, Kendall, filling in for my mom while she investigates that Wyoming thing, OMG, viewers, I have pulled along side the investigation organizers boat and OMG, viewers, I cannot pan my camera towards Franky the organizer because he is way deep in making up with his crush, Max and Max's armed torpedo, but viewers, viewers, I don't know how this looks on your TV screen, but sitting at the front of Franky's boat in all her translucent glory is someone who must be Rena, Rena of the River and OMG, viewers, she is all that! Rena, Rena of the River, say something!"

"[In a barely understandable watery, wavy and bubbly voice] I'm free, free because of him/her?"

"Yes, Rena of the River, you have been freed because of Franky, he's your savior! Viewers, viewers, I apologize for zooming in as she puts on her new bikini top to complete her bikini set and catching her bare breasts in the process, but viewers, this is live TV and stuff happens and OMG, they're translucent anyways! Also, whoa, she is all that!"

[Slurp, whoa, gulp, geez, ag, ow, slurp, ag, ag, ag, woo, ag, gag, gag, slurp, ugh, ugh, ooh, ow, ooh]

"[In a barely understandable watery, wavy and bubbly voice] Never to that."

"Rena, Rena of the River, it's just something that guys like, like a lot, but Rena, Rena of the River, what's next for you? And stand up because your hips are famous too!"

"[In a barely understandable watery, wavy and bubbly voice] Swim home now."

"Oh, OMG, Rena, Rena of the River, in all your translucent glory and for my mom's loyal viewers, OMG, Rena of the River, raise your arms and smooth your wet hair back, OMG, OMG, viewers, I hope this is transmitting properly!"

[Slurp, whoa, gulp, geez, ag, ow, slurp, ag, ag, ag, woo, ag, gag, gag, slurp, ugh, ugh, ooh, ow, ooh]

"[In a barely understandable watery, wavy and bubbly voice] Like this?"

[Ghost woman or not, only a woman could sweep her wet hair back like that]

"OMG, OMG, my boyfriend is going to get it so hard tonight! Rena, Rena of the River, OMG, I'm going to faint!"

[Slurp, whoa, gulp, geez, ag, ow, slurp, ag, ag, ag, woo, ag, gag, gag, slurp, ugh, ugh, ooh, ow, ooh]

"[In a barely understandable watery, wavy and bubbly voice] Maybe I enter into his dreams?"

"OMG, OMG, Rena, Rena of the River, Franky would love that! Although I think he has dragged into his dreams anyways, but OMG, OMG Rena, Rena of the River, you are free of your terrible demise!"

[Slips quietly over the edge of the boat with a quiet splash]

"Ooh, ooh, Franky, you wanted my torpedo payload and you're getting it now! Ugh, ugh, ugh, ooh."

"Ooh (gag, gag), oh (spit, gag), geez (gulp, swallow), OMG (wheeze, cough), ooh (gulp), oh, made it."

"Ahh, well, I guess we're not fighting anymore then, like ahh. Hey, what the hell, Kendall? Did you catch that on your camera? What the hell are you and what is your investigation boat doing so close to Franky and myself, hmm?"

"OMFG, Kendall, how could you! I was just looking for the flare gun anyways! Kendall? Kendall? Are you breathing, Kendall?"

I mean, it seemed like Kendall was breathing and her eyes were as wide as the river, but she seemed to be locked into some sort of trance, although, you know, if she spied Max and I going well above "casual to slightly above casual" with the sex, I mean, that would put anyone in a trance, right?

And to prove that my first "beyond casual" sex encounter was all that, like I imagine Rena of the River to be all that, I mean, the local internet went down and Wi Fi went down and TV3's website went down, so you know, hey there, I'm Franky and I perform like all that!

End Rena of the River 02