All Comments on 'Renascence Ch. 05'

No forgiveness is needed. I hope your troubles are passing by. Thanks for continuing this story.

I have been searching almost every day for a new chapter and it finally came! This story speaks to me, not sure why, but it is wonderfully written. Can't wait for more!

It's superb

Extremely well done. You pack emotion into every word. What a great story. Five stars, of course. Write another, please. Randi.

I really like this story. Thank-you for writing it - even if you never take it any further, it's already a gift. Thank-you!

So... after reading this which involved some rereading of parts that I already knew (which was a good thing as it eased me back into the story quite well) I now feel like I'm an alcoholic who has been in a plane crash and had to survive on a deserted island without access to any drinks for months and then finally gets rescued and the rescuers have a whole ship container of alcohol. Like seriously, you need to write more to keep me from drying out. I don't want to end up lookign like a shriveled fig! I just remembered how much I love your writing!

My favourite part about this chapter was when the mood shifted very suddenly when she had her nightmare. it was like being dose with cold water! And o-m-g the phone sex :'D I REALLY couldn't keep reading it while riding on that train haha

Keep it up, you still need to finish this baby! Hope I can keep being an inspiration to you forever :3

-Lun

You have an absolute gift. Please continue to share.

I love the story, having lost a brother in a military plane crash after I refused to alter a trip itinerary to visit him, I understand the guilt of the survivor.

My nit is just that you initially said that the girls were held back a year and thus 19 their senior year. Then suddenly she's 18 in Nebraska. In the movies they call it continuity, and they actually have people that make sure that everything is in the same spot, the same lighting, the same color for visual continuity. Find a continuity person.

I've enjoy the story so far and hope to read to a true ending. However, in my opinion this chapter wasn't as good as the others. Again in my opinion there was too much repetition in Grace's mental musing. I feel this chapter could have have been done well in only 2 or at most 3 pages. I gave this chapter a four because of your very good writing in spite of my concerns with it. Thanks for the hard work and am waiting as others are for the rest of the story.

Woodmanone

Everyone was 17 when I was a senior in high school. So 18 would be accurate for being 1 year behind in school. There was no age inconsistencies as far as I can tell.

Regarding Grace's age, I never specified that she was 19, however that is the assumption most readers have made. I apologize that I didn't pick up on this sooner. I wish I would have known to follow that instead.

Like anon, I also went to high school in the USA (SoCal, to be exact) and me and my classmates were all 17 going on 18 in high school. Grace is 18 going on 19 in my story, thus making her a year behind in terms of school. When I began writing this story I did not think I could justify a 20 year old in high school, so I left her at 18 to turn 19 in the new year.

Quote from chapter one:

"We were already eighteen before our senior year."

Hope this clears it all up.

And woodmanone, I have emailed you some of my thoughts. Thank you so much for your constructive criticism. It is greatly appreciated.

Cheers,

Nora

I found this story last night and read right through. Excellently written. Now I wait, I hate waiting.

"To live is to suffer. To survive is to find meaning in the suffering."

I got PTSD for Getting Over It from this quote. Also can't wait for chapter 6!

Update please!!! Loving it!

It's so much more than the shitty student teacher stories we find on lit. It's love. Really enjoyed it.. Can'twait for the next chapter. Update soon please don't leave us hanging

when is ch. 6 coming out??

That's what it feels like to read this story. I am really anticipating reading the next story and dreading it at the same time. I feel that you will get them together only to push them apart eventually due to how gabe pushes her amd cares for her. He will want grace to go out and live and find herself in the world after she graduates but I hope you are able to find a way to avoid this outcome because they need each other and separating them regardless of why or how long will make a lot of readers sad and hate such an ending. We don't read stories to feel worse or get a taste of the real world. We read them to escape from the real world and we your fans are dealing with our own pain and suffering like gabe and grace but though them are able to smile and feel better for a moment because you the writer gave them the happiness they deserve like we all hope we can find for ourselves in the real world. I wish you great fortune in the writings to come and would love to read anything you write.

P.S. your build up to the actual sex is amazing and all of us can't wait till it happens and shows your talent compared to all the "porno scripts" stories that are out there. 5 stars

Thank you to all those that left comments! I love hearing from you guys. Feel free to follow my twitter @authornorafares for updates real-time on my progress.

Joshuad2477s, awesome speculation! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.

And lastly, update:

Chapter 6 has been submitted for publication. It should be available to read in the next few days.

Cheers,

Nora

looking forward to the next installment.

At first I thought that phone sex was a dream.

I'm looking forward to more.

It started out great ... and has kept getting better.

Hooked

So curious how you could possibly close tgis out in one last chapter. Glorious writing ✍️, bordering on overkill. U b u girl

you made me care for them, fictitious people.

That affirms that you are a fine writer.

Nora... thank you; you and your stories fill my nights.

I was enjoying this story until this chapter. You lost my interest in this story and my respect for you as a writer with some remarks made.

First, it lacks all class to rag on a book that is considered a classic while implying that you are writing a better love story. This is especially egregious because you didn't even seem to understand the book. Mr Darcy is a fake, but he's a fake bad guy. He pretends to be an arrogant snob because he's cripplingly shy. I adore the book because I used this exact kind of behavior myself in high school. He never attempts to buy anyone's affection. He throws around his money in an attempt to fix problems that he believes he is at fault for. If he was trying to win her affection, he wouldn't have tried so hard to keep it a secret from Lizzy.

Teaching how to paint by giving a student a paintbrush and telling them to paint is the mark of a terrible art teacher. I'm a decent painter, but I only learned that after I had a teacher who took the time to show *how* to do the fundamentals. Prior to that I tried to draw with the paintbrush (in other words, I was using the paintbrush the way one would use a marker or a pencil), which my earlier art teacher was aware of, because she said as much, but never suggested I try anything else.

Lastly, and most seriously, your prejudice against those from small towns is obvious. In many respects you could call your portrayal bigoted. Some lines in your work also lead me to believe that you've never actually personally gone to a small town school, so you don't know what the hell you're talking about. I have gone to a great many different public schools: urban, suburban, and rural. The ones in the small towns consistently offered the best educational experience overall. Truly small towns lack the student body to support AP classes unfortunately, but on the other hand you don't see kids who can't read (contrary to stereotypes). This is actually a thing that happens in the big schools not the small schools, because in the small schools everyone knows everyone's name a single student's academic performance can't go unnoticed by the faculty. In a large school, you're just a number. It's usually called a student identification number or some such. The reason for such things is because there are too many students for the staff to actually keep track of who is who. It's in this kind of environment that you have kids graduating high school that can barely read, because the administrators are out of touch with the kids they are supposed to be helping and only see numbers...especially dollar signs.

This isn't to say that I love small towns. For social reasons, I myself will never choose to live in a small town again. Sports tends to be entirely too important, they tend to be overly clannish, and every small town has some unspoken standard that a person must meet in order to be considered a part of the town and not just a resident alien. Sometimes these standards are literally impossible for a newcomer to meet, such as having been born there. Small towns also don't support much diversity of interests. The catch is that the belief among city folk that rural folk are unintelligent and poorly educated is complete bullshit.

@kvalentine

It's unfortunate that you felt the need to rag on a story written and provided for free by someone as talented as Nora. Any class or respect people had for you is certainly in question when you post something so thoughtless, but specifically about a free story on a website for sex stories.

Someone having a different opinion of Pride and Prejudice is not classless, nor is anyone implying that they are a better writer than Jane Austen. Perhaps you've heard of "fiction": it's this thing where people write stuff that is sometimes not true. Sometimes, they even write things that don't match their own personal opinions for the sake of the story or characterization.

A teacher not teaching properly is not that far of a stretch. No one said the art teacher was a good teacher. It's such a minor point that I can't believe it's something you'd really flag the way you have.

It's nice that your experience with small town schools was so very beneficial. There is definitely no chance whatsoever that some small towns have bad schools, or that small towns vary place by place. It's too bad you seem to offer the same level of prejudice you're claiming Nora has, otherwise I might actually have to consider what you said.

If you don't like the story, that's fine. No one says you have to like everything. But you also don't need to insult the writer of said story because it was catered to your specific preferences. THAT shows a complete lack of class.

Hello kvalentine,

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You may not be aware of this, but authors on lit absolutely adore insightful, reasoned and educated feedback. I understand that is beyond your current capabilities, but you should consider it when you up your game a bit.

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Let's go through your comment, shall we? I'm gonna start out with an overarching truism: characters are not the writers. I understand how that can be confusing for those with a limited intellect but stick with me and I'll try to explain what I mean. Let's say you have a character who dislikes a book (to keep this working at your level, let's assume it's “Green Eggs and Ham”), That doesn't mean the author dislikes “Green Eggs and Ham” or thinks that they're a better writer than Doctor Seuss.

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I hope that clears that up for you. If it doesn't, shoot me an email. I'll respond using small words.

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I'm not sure if I should address the issue of educational acumen Found in small town schools as I'm not sure if that was just an opportunity for you to bloviate about the breadth of your learning history or not. Let's pretend it wasn't as self serving as I think it was. This feeds back into the previous point. Are you familiar with what is called ‘point of view’? It is how a character sees the world and that is what is presented to the reader if you are character in question Is the narrator (again, if you have questions about narration styles such as first person or omniscient please shoot me an email and I will respond in greater detail).

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If a POV character has to move to a small town Due to a traumatic event the lens that they perceive the town with maybe tinted. This falls into the possibility of an unreliable narrator, but that's probably a very sophisticated concept for you, so I'm going to gloss over that.

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I am once again Presented with the possibility that your concern about the art teacher may have been an opportunity for vanity so you could let us know that you were a decent artist. Let's pretend that's not the case and I'll simply ask why you seem convinced that the art teacher was actually a good teacher and why his initial attempt to assess her abilities and raw talent didn't reveal that his hands off approach worked in this instance?

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Regardless, as a fellow reader, thank you for your attempt at meaningful feedback. Your pedantry and lack of understanding of basic literary concepts does not dismiss your obvious enthusiasm. However misplaced, enthusiasm is always a plus

That long diatribe of his is nothing but unneeded and unwanted baseless criticism.

This is story written from the hart by a very young and upcoming writer who is doing a great job. There is no constructive criticism in his ramblings and pointless points he is trying to make. He falls into the category of everyone who criticise and they do it because it's easy. Try a little encouragement and praise it will do wonders to help aspiring writers. Ithink your story is excellent, it affects me emotionally, and I am entertained, thats whats important, the accuracy of some of the information is unimportant. Keep writing and thank you, again.

For trusting us with this sometimes gut wrenching story, very realistic and beautifully written. Life sometimes is sad and dark and you picture that perfectly against a stormy and forbidden love.

She hit him right between the eyes with her story, likening him to the thunder. To say she is the rain though...I can't really see it, unless it's only viewed as unending tears. Usually rain is contextually used to wash away pain, provide a new beginning (Shawshank Redemption) or to symbolize a kind a baptism.

I can agree with her being chaotic, as she feels too many negative, nearly-overwhelming emotions all at once. But he understands her very well in all senses except for her anger. (You certainly use this chapter well to explain the characters and their feelings if the readers pay attention to what is being said, which is a great plug for structuralism.) Thing is she suffers from so many things at a time: survivor's guilt, then from believing she was the reason her dad left, in addition to general depression. You do an excellent job at picturing her maelstrom.

I hate to say it, but there was a real missed story opportunity, which was to make her knowing Spanish more than just a mention and forget it. That Spanish could have really helped her externalize her anguish in many ways, although it could have been through writing lyrics to a song, singing a Spanish song (I can think of a perfect one for how she's feeling) or having her even say entire sentences to kind of give her some "privacy" especially to those who wouldn't know it. If she were truly fluent, many possible phrases would have come out of her, and the AP Spanish class would have been HUGE in getting her to read poetry from Góngora, Antonio Machado, Gertrudis Gómez de Avellaneda and so many Spanish-speaking authors that would have perfectly expressed her pain in so many different ways...to say nothing of perhaps coming across a Colombian novel called "María" from Jorge Issacs.

They're both trying to heal each other, but really playing such a dangerous game, which is why employing fire as a metaphor is very understandable...although perhaps a category-5 "hurricane" might be more apt.

You excel at bringing out the gritty, raw emotions and describing how your characters experience and process things. On occasion, it's almost disturbing.

After reading so many long, erudite comments (kvalentine excluded), all I can say is damn, girl! You write real good!

Wow. I’m amazed at how good a writer you are. Excellent again.

Outstanding very emotional, big 5!

Small town people are stupid(sic). LOL.

Hello pot, kettle calling.

When an author's character, an author's creation, an author's proxy expresses an emotion which crystallizes the theme of a story into one fragile and brilliant statement, it eclipses fiction and blazes like the corona of the sun which cannot be entirely concealed by the moon.

"It is a very sad thing ... to be alive."

Indeed.

I feel your pain.

Damn powerful. It resonates. When my wife committed suicide, everything had no meaning. I spent time in a mental hospital losing myself because I didn't deserve to live. You don't think I felt and heard the blame from her, her mother and community? Its the 'albatross' around my neck. You put the words to my failure. I Feel it.

Loved the story. One remark though... in the middle of the dialogue you lose yourself in ramblings. It distracts from the actual dialogue and it forces me to keep going back to have some context on the answers. 5* anyway. Thanks.