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All Comments on 'Renee'

by hamptonite

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  • 5 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Stan or Steve?

Stan or Steve? Very confusing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

Stop writing til you get YOUR own characters names right. Stan switched to Steve every other sentence. Oh and come up with an actual story.

JensensloverJensensloverover 9 years ago
""Stan, it's time. Oh god, Steve, I really need to feel you inside me, not your tongue, but the real YOU."

Fuck, bad enough switching names every other sentence, but seriously? 4 words apart in the same sentence?

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
...

One moment he's admiring her ass, the next they are fucking, out of nowhere. Add some back story or something.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
You have potential but not there yet...

The outline of the story was plausible but under developed. Oh, and of course the name thing.

Fill in the story and resubmit.

Anonymous
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