All Comments on 'Research Pt. 01'

If you're going to try to make this woman remorseful it's going to be hard to make convincing. You should have built this up more, given her more uncertainty, more guilt. The husband should not have been quite so accommodating.Unless, this is going to turn into a willing cuckold.

and want's to keep both. She needs the hubby to support her (you know pay for the house, food, car, gas, cloths) while she plays at the game of life with who she wants.

Sounds like the husband has his own fantasies and is encouraging his wife to meet other men. Then again, maybe he is clueless?

More slut crap!

I normally don't comment on spelling and grammar, but when you write a story from a first-person perspective where the narrator is an aspiring writer, the spelling and grammar should be believable enough to have been written by a professional. I don't think I read a single sentence here that was grammatically correct.

Setting that aside, the plot is a bit too thin for a first chapter. It seems as though you rushed through it to get it to publication. Why is the husband so willing to allow his wife to go on a date with a stranger? For safety reasons alone, you would think he would want to meet this guy first or tag along, but stay in the background.

Why is the wife so willing to cheat on her husband? Do they have a bad marriage? How long have they been married? Do they have kids? None of these questions were answered, so we know virtually nothing about these characters. Knowing so little means we care little about what happens to them.

You could have answered many questions about this married couple's relationship simply by including some dialog between them. That would allow us to understand them a little better without having to explain it.

Going forward, try to slow down and give us some details and dialog. Let us get to know who these people are and why we should care about them. Beyond that, please avoid using lazy shortcuts. Instead of writing "2", write "two." Instead of "IRL", write "in real life." You aren't texting; you're writing.

Good story line but moving to fast, more in depth discussion with hubby who is supportive of her research but expresses his concerns about her meeting. What of the friend she was supposed to take with her,(paragraph 9), is she being dishonest with hubby or is this an error by the writer. She has driven 40 minutes to this meeting and taken part in drinking 2 bottles of wine, when does she intend to drive home?, 12 hours later perhaps!, how would she explain that long an absence, a round trip of at least 15 hours.Having second thoughts about going to the hotel would be good, save that for later, let the drama build. I know i am being harsh with my comments but details of emotions and time lines are important to good story telling. Hopefully this will be addressed in the next chapter. Looking forward to ch2.

Annony hates these stories because they remind him of his dead ex wife. He's insane and needs help!

I'm not buying the attraction of the wife. There's too much telling that she's falling for him, and not enough showing how it happens. Show their on-line conversation. How the banter turns to romance. Her decision to go on the date only makes sense if she's lying to herself, but that isn't shown either. Same problems with the bar scene.

illiterate cuck shit.

That's where you show the reader that this woman is too stupid to be a wife or mother. Getting hit on by strangers over the Internet is in her mind substantive and reassuring. It never occurs to her that she is just a pieced of fuck meat for Internet trolls who have no life beyond a soft chair and a keyboard. Everything that follows from that line is just another version of How Stupid People Fuck Up Their Lives. There is nothing exciting nor erotic about the sex life of a mentally ill person.

But thanks for trying.

Not too bad for a first story. Swingerjoe, fifteen16, and MaFrepler, along with the Anon (she comes off as a common slut) have given you some great advice. I hope you give their words consideration, since you seem to have real talent.

My comment is, it’s hard to do a one page story, especially for a new writer. To put the above mentioned advice into practice, you need more space; I think at least two pages, and even with that you’ll probably need several more chapters to wrap this story up properly.

Never forget, buildup and tease is to storytelling what foreplay is to real sex. Only a dummy ignores either and almost always to their detriment.

Good Luck! cd

This anon is right. This is a FICTION site. I have noticed over time that the nastiest criticisms come from those who never write anything.

You might at least name your hated husband... that ended the story right there.

She loved and considered him a blessing, "I am incredibly blessed. It was my dream to be a writer and had married a guy who fully supported this. As he went off to work each day, I got to stay at home..."

Gosh how much he means too me, I think it will be fine with him if I screwaround on him.... Did you forget the storyboard?

Even people that are married should understand a basic premise of life. There's always someone else. People talk about being with their soulmates and then don't seem to understand that there's more than one soulmate out there for them. There's always someone bigger, faster, smarter, richer, etc, etc. That's the problem with people who want to share their wife or watch her get fucked by another man. What happens when she finds a man that treats her better than her husband? One that has a bigger dick? Or a lot more money? What happens is a divorce. And that's the way this sad story is going. In this case the cheating wife is about to fall prey to a huckster and lose her marriage because she's what? Curious? In lust with a pretty boy? Talk about stupid. Bad story.

1 star.

A lot of good advice about writing fiction, a lot of grinching from haters. In the former category, I would echo the following.

Let the characters speak for themselves. We-The-Readers (WTR) deserve to hear them say things, instead of being TOLD what they said! Makes it much more personal. That would include a few email exchanges. One avoidable impression is that the situation developed too quickly. It didn't, but by narrating a SUMMARY of the email interchanges, it is easy to feel that time in that aspect of the acquaintance was brief and inconsequential.

Be careful, language is important. When a reader hits a misused word - "He peaked at her decollage.", for example, is understandable if a reader is seriously into your story, but it distracts the reader's attention. Those not into the story will just stop and look for another tale. The author doesn't know, or maybe care, to spell 'peeked' or to look up 'decollete' (and is trying to sound 'fancy' instead of just saying 'breasts' or 'tits!' - and ... yes, the French term is usually written décolleté). Malapropisms, grammar, tense, integrity of person, selection of best person (point of view) all have impact.

A point not yet cited (or, at least noticed) is speed of submission! Write the story and send it in. Bad idea! Few good authors do that ... probably very, very few! Finish it, read it over yourself and take good notes. Then put it down, wait a few days and re-read (without checking your earlier notes,) pretending you do not know the story. If The Author thinks a character or situation is a little unclear, WTR will be foundering. After this step, get a reader who will be honest with you (like a volunteer editor) and let that person point out places that are not adequately explained ... AND places that are overdone. Then re-write, using ALL your notes and input.

Hard to tell, in the first chapter of a serial, but be SURE you know where you're going, and why! It may change if the characters start to take over, but have (and keep) a direction in mind, even if it drifts from the original.

3* Overall, a fair start. There is promise.

Basically the author imagined a good plate and then forgot to put it in the oven,

# 1

Only for real idiots!!!

fag cuck shit.

If you are going to make this into another of those pathetic "I've always wanted to see my wife with another man" stories, please let us know now .. so that I don't waste any more time reading. I've got to say that it seems to be heading that way with hubby encouraging her to date for 'research' ..

But you didnt finish casting, setting hook or rerling readet in.

Very good start. Looking for more.

...With almost every "loving Wives" story, someone pipes up and dismisses it as "Fag Cuck Shit?"

What is the proper criteria for a legitimate "Loving Wives" story to not be labeled as such? What elements are missing, or need to be omitted, to make a Loving Wives story that will pass muster? I am asking a question to try to be helpful. Isn't the point of "Loving Wives" that they cheat on their significant other? There was no "Bull alpha /forced homosexuality cuckold submissive" action in this story, which I have read in other "Loving Wives" stories (and which gets almost universally condemned when these stories do feature such content.)

To me, the story itself isn't terrible or anything, but rather, it just kinda leads up to something and then just ends. It is kind of a letdown. It is okay, but I think it needs more "Spice." The writing is actually decent, but I couldn't really get that interested in the characters, but that might just be me though. 3 out of 5.

Also, what husband would encourage his wife to date other men as research for a book? Would he be supportive if she was going to write a story about robbing banks or murder? "Oh, you're writing a murder mystery? Absolutely dear, you should kill someone to understand what it's really like."

The premise was flimsy and boring. Women don't get self confidence from getting dick pics, after all, there is a reason there are ugly hookers: guys will fuck anything.

The plot is plausible, and the possibilities are abundant. Keep writing.

Interesting that the most critical, vulgar comments come from those who have not submitted writings of their own or, if they have, don't allow voting or comments. Losers, all of them.

Delete the trash.

Comments made about this is just a category miss out on real life. With no std's no consequences forget that some of these stories are fiction, but in real life similar things have happed to married men. Some of these authors hate marriage and married men. Sometimes when I look at their profile I wonder why they are married. Some of the greatest stories I have read have been in LW. The one's you can feel the emotion and turmoil. Seen to many divorces when wife or husband got stupid. That's why these comments are the way they are. Someone has lived something similar that has cost them their marriage

No real loving wife would cheat like this breaking her marriage vows. Anyway what stupid husband would agree to his wife meeting another guy in club in aid of research.

I guess I'm the worst husband in the world. I think the cheating starts as emotional cheating where the person is engaging in conversation every day and it will escalate as they get closer. The guy will sneaky build up becoming her buddy first than will pounce as soon as he sees his opportunity. I just don't trust people enough and the more opportunity you give the more likely the cheating will occur. This wife has the most supportive hubby helping her as she walked in so why cheat on him. I doesn't seem he's giving her any reason to cheat like in most stories the wife will have some reason even it's not true. I know plenty of cheaters and they usually do it just to do it. Rarely is there a good reason and I always think if you really need variety don't get married. Unless the spouse stops having sex with you there should be no reason to need it from anyone else.

Yes, it moved along nicely, yes, a few typos etc, but not bad enough to worry about on a FREE site.

The story line is GREAT and I wish the author had continued. This story begs to be continued. Hopefully she has a great time and either doesn't do it again and doesn't tell hubby, or does tell him and even though he's royally pissed of he doesn't end the marriage. But she has to make it up to him somehow.

To me it isn't so much that she's going to fuck this guy, but that she fell for someone on line while she was married, fell hard enough to see him face to face. She should know better and needs to be punished.

Or maybe she doesn't have a great time. She leaves and confesses to hubby. Who knows, maybe he knows what's going on and wants her to.

Another cheating slut and Cuckold husband...

Getting hard . Ready for part 2