All Comments on 'Revenge Ch. 04E'

and loving well. Thanks for giving us an ending that allowed Barbara and Tom to work things out and remind each other just how passionate love and sex can be between two people who know each other and make full use of that knowledge.

Did I miss a chapter where Barbara took off and Tom married the next door neighbor, Kathy, and then SHE was raped by Marvin??

Did someone forget who was who in their story?

It bothered me!

Glad to see the happier ending. But the changing of the name leaves me wondering about any retribution by Barbara?

The changing from she to my and I, where 'her' should be used, is also disconcerting. Kept me backtracking.

AND nobody can fuck and suck constantly for a month (It was a month wasn't it? Sure seemed like it!). I was worn out long before the chapter was over.

You pumped this one out to fast, lots of mistakes. The main one was character change from Barbara to Kathy.

If this scenario were to play out in real life, the passion that you describe would take a lot more time coming than a year.

What happened to Marvin's wife? how was it that the young white girl came to move in with him?

Why was Tom going to therapy? Did I miss something in the earlier chapters about him being somewhat at fault for her behavior?

You have appeased all the readers romantic visions of a bad girl gone good. This was done at the expense of reality.

Barbara was a slut and in a chapter, you transformed her into the virgin Mary, except a horny one.

Two words for the future, Proofread and Edit....

some authors think the only thing they should see one these pages are just glowing "100%" reviews, praises, and begging for more, etc.

they should, in fact, be honored that they have people from a wide range of perspectives (so that while they bask in the sing of praises, they may also factor in the serious and intelligent critiques, so that they may improve on their next writings)

author "Salamis" has the BEST observation on this series; read his on the second to last alternative ending. and basically what he/she said is this, to be succinct: there are TWO levels of flaws to this series (that he admist COULD BE "interesting" in and of themselves, if intelligently written), as "Salamis" sees it,,,

the one is logical/story flaw (turning a good, concerned, moral woman into a wanton slut for no reason other than that she was RAPED by some black man with a big penis, simply because she had an "orgasm" with him? that she, after the brutal assult, thinks of his big thaing day and night and every phone ring, she's waiting for him to call, to summon her to wherever he wants, so that he could rape her to give her more orgasm, etc.)

and the other is the lack of grammatical and/or editing coherence

Did Barbara become Kathy because Tom called Barbara Kathy and Barbara resented Tom for thinking of Kathy instead of her which wasn't fair to either of them because Marvin was who everyone was wanting to be with anyway?

Who was Peggy and what did the accordian have to do with the doctor's strange desires?

Outside of that I liked this ending the best. A+!

with the excetion of names in this one, which I believe was an over sight by the author. he/she was working on two stories at the same tie and messed up the names. I have done that myself. But, the story was gooooooodddd

The only problem I see is the name change in the story. Ask someone to proof read it if you can (ask you significant other, unless they don't know you write these stories. I totally agree with the last comment made about this chapter. I also love endings that have everything returning back to normal or even better. Probably becease something similar happened to me a few years ago with my wife. We worked trough it and our marriage is better than ever. Now if I could only tell if my daughter is really mine or not! (just kidding)

..let's see..kathy..tom..barb..frank..ruby..marvin..names and matches..how in THE world can you screw it up so bad???...go and learn how to write..get over your white supremist aryan club..and do something you know how to do..like cleaning urinals and shitters in BLACK MENs clubs..where white trophy women/wives are owned and treated to be breeder vessels for the new power in america..OBAMA and JESSE JACKSON JR. FOREVER!!!..YOU GO GIRLS!!!...;-}}}..XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO...!!!

I can see where sex can be a drug and very addicting but each time Barbara had the sex with BBC she was raped! Maybe I'm naive but this story seemed more believable!

This jumbled up mess has gotten my head hurting. I've even gone back and read it twice in one setting to see if it's possible to understand what this "author" is attempting to get across. No dice, I still don't get it and my head is still hurting.

I thought that his wife's name was Barbara and that Kathy was a neighbor. No one else has commented on your literary series?

"Because she was sucking him as he pumped down into her mouth this time, the cum couldn't go anywhere but down my throat"???????? WHO is this giving the blow job?? What the heck happened here to Kathy ??? Who the hell is Kathy??? Her name was BARBARA!! For pete's sake, can you not keep up with your characters ?? there are not that many in this story !!!!!

The fact that it is about a black, getting a married whitis girl, is really what this story is about. The idea and the sex is good, you just need more attention to detail. Word's tense plays a great part in a story AND speech!

So I read all the chapters and all the endings. On the technical side, Barbs fuck feats with Marvin go on way too long. I lost interest in every one of them before they ever ended.

Secondly, Marvin rapes Mary, a younger female and then rapes Barb who turns out loving it and THEN he comes back as Barb’s professor???????! Very unclear as to whether she knows it’s the same guy . But she does fuck his lights out and comes home and lies to Tom

By this time you know she’s too far gone

What I don’t get is why Tom just doesn’t divorce her. We already can deduce that Marvin will turn her into a drug whore and she will die in the street.

Lots of relationship stuff between Barb and Tom left out