All Comments on 'Rim Nation Pt. 01'

It's an OK short story but it was spoilt by grammatical and spelling errors. If you can't 'proof-read' it yourself, then get some assistance from an editor or other author on here. Keep writing though and good luck.

I liked the sex part but the back story could use some work. What kind of work do they do? A year to get around to it even tho he got his massage sometime earlier? What about the gf waiting at home?

So hot when you feel their ass contract! So Fucking hot!