Rio, Ex-Pornstar Pt. 15

Sunday morning's sunrays snuck into their room, but despite the huge success of yesterday, neither had a restful sleep last night. They each had something heavy weighing on their mind.

Jay's situation was the easier of the two to resolve, in the sense that his worries were completely out of his control. Yesterday's scene was probably in the editing room by now, and as each day went by, it would move closer and closer to being finalised for release. He couldn't change his mind about it, he couldn't veto anything, and he couldn't pull out. His friends, his work colleagues and his family might eventually find out what he'd done, but the die was already cast. He was strapped into the pornography rocket and the countdown had commenced.

Rio's situation was different. Whereas Jay was a backseat passenger, Rio was in the driver's seat. He had a choice to make.

Rio opened his eyes and winced as he glanced at the sun. He knew there'd be no more sleep this morning. He threw off the covers, pulled on his underpants, padded to the kitchen, and made a strong pot of coffee. He poured himself a cup and stood near the window, feeling the warmth of the sun. He took a huge slurp as the liquid began to cool.

Jay woke and stumbled into the kitchen, led by his nose which was hot on the coffee trail. He rubbed crusty sleep out of his eyes and looked at Rio's junk. "Morning, dude. Still wearing briefs, I see?"

Rio looked down at his underwear. "You don't approve?"

Jay coughed. "Hey, I'm not complaining. You should know by now that I love watching you wear anything that makes your sexy prong poke out." He remembered the night before they flew to Fiji. "You can wear those tight red Speedos for me any time you like."

Rio laughed. "So ... we don't have a problem?"

Jay walked across to Rio and embraced him. He felt Rio's thick salami pressing against his own dick. "No problem at all." He broke the hug in search of coffee. He grabbed a vessel from the cupboard and poured himself a hot mug of joe from the pot.

"How are you feeling, Jay?" Rio asked. "I mean ... after yesterday?"

"I don't know. I had the best fuckin' day ever yesterday, and it was awesome to meet Flower, but knowing that everything I did is committed to film is the hard part."

"Digital video," Rio corrected.

"What the fuck?"

"Not film, Jay. Video. We shoot to high quality digital video. 1080p resolution, 60 frames per second."

Jay felt frustrated. "I don't care about any of that shit right now," he spat. "You asked me about how I was feeling about yesterday, and it doesn't make me feel any better or worse to know whether we were capturing my stellar debut performance by morse fucking code, so just shut the fuck up for a second with your technical bullshit and let me speak." Rio held his hands up in apology as Jay paused to take a breath. "I've seen enough porn to guess what's going to happen in editing. They're going to make me look as bad as they possibly can, because that's what the scenario requires, but I won't know exactly how bad they make me look until it's published. All I can do is wait to see what happens. I can't change my mind. I signed a form, and whatever I did or said while the cameras were rolling is their property now."

Rio resisted the urge to tell Jay that digital cameras don't roll. "Yeah, I mean, that's what happens when you're new, and that's why they make you sign the form. You'll get paid, but you won't have any influence. They'll send me a rough edit, like they usually do, and I know this sounds harsh, but I doubt if they'll send one to you."

"Why not?"

"First of all, and I mean this with the greatest respect, but they don't know who you are, and they don't really care either. The producer gave me his card to pass onto you, which suggests he sees some potential in you, but potential don't cut it on debut. And secondly, they know that if they ask you for your comments, the only thing they'll hear from you is 'I made a mistake, I'm begging you, please don't release this, you'll destroy my life'. But they wouldn't care because they've probably heard it all before many times. Again, that's why they make you sign the form."

Jay looked at his feet. "Sounds brutal."

Rio couldn't disagree. "It is. It's a business, and just like any other kind of business, it can be brutal." He was beginning to wonder whether he needed to step in on Jay's behalf. The production company wouldn't listen to Jay, but they might listen to him.

Jay looped back to something else Rio had said. He hadn't even thought about money. "Wait a second ... you said I'll get paid?"

"Well ... yeah ... they have to pay you for your time and your performance, but as far as I know, you didn't agree on a fee with them, and you don't have a manager, so they'll probably only pay you a very small amount."

"How much?"

Rio thought. "I'm not sure, but probably almost nothing. It's mainly so they have a record in their accounts that they remunerated you. Like, in case you sued them, or whatever."

"The form didn't ask for my financial details," Jay said. The penny dropped. They'd cut him a check in good faith, but they'd post it to the fake address he gave them. He'd never see it. "Why didn't you tell me about any of this beforehand, Rio?" he asked.

Rio looked a little exasperated. "What would I have said to them? 'Hey, please hire this friend of mine as a personal favour to me, he's never been in front of a camera before and he has no prior experience whatsoever, but hey, give him a million bucks.' They would've said no, and they would've found someone else."

Jay looked back down at his feet. "Yeah ... I see what you mean."

"And you never would've met Flower."

"Yeah."

"And you never would've fucked her fat booty."

"Yeah. That was an amazing twenty seconds."

"So stop worrying, Jay. You had an awesome day yesterday, didn't you?"

"I did. But don't forget, I didn't do it for me. I wasn't looking for a new career or anything, it just seemed like something I could do to support you given you were finding the scenario a little challenging, and everything about yesterday turned out to be a complete surprise for me. Sure, some dollars and cents might've come in handy, but if what you're saying is true, it wouldn't have been much anyway, so missing the check doesn't really matter. But I guess I'm just concerned about how people I know might ... umm ... react ... if they found out what I did. Or, more likely, *when* they find out. I know we talked about this last night, but I'm still worried."

Rio did the mental arithmetic. He knew what question to ask. "OK, Jay, let me ask you this. If it was yesterday morning all over again, and you know everything you know now, and you knew you might feel like this the next day, would you still go ahead?"

Jay stared out the window, deep in thought. "Yes."

Rio knew he didn't have to intervene on Jay's behalf. Shit would work itself out, one way or another.

Rio's conundrum was more difficult. He'd reached a psychological impasse. He stood at a fork in the road, and he could see the direction each road headed in, but not their destinations.

He'd reached a point where he could no longer cope with living two separate lives. One of his lives was spent living in the public spotlight: the life of a successful male pornstar who appeared to be unquestionably straight. The other life was lived in private: he shared an apartment and a bed with a man.

Each of these lives were at least partially fictitious, and he felt the need to reconcile the two halves of his soul.

Rio stared out the window. One fist gripped the handle of his coffee cup, the other hand wrapped around the outside, feeling the warmth of the brew.

Jay fixated on Rio's thick fingers wrapped around his mug. "How are *you* feeling, Rio? I mean, after what you were saying last night?"

Rio looked at the floor. He drained his mug and rested the empty cup on the kitchen counter. He looked at Jay. "I don't fuckin' know what to do," he said, throwing his hands into the air.

"Do you want to talk about it?" offered Jay. He knew Rio's dilemma was significantly more important than his own.

They sat at the kitchen bench. There was a little more coffee left in the pot, so Rio poured half of the remaining liquid into Jay's mug and half into his own.

Rio began to unload. "I feel like I'm treatin' you bad, bruh."

"In what way?"

"I feel like I'm fuckin' dissin' you, man. Like, we're together, but I can't own up to it in public because I'm scared about what it might do to my career. And like I said last night, I'm lyin' to people I care about, and I hate doin' that." He paused. "I feel dishonest, and I shouldn't have to feel like this. A part of me is startin' to hate the industry I'm in for making me feel like this."

Jay knew what he'd signed up for when he moved in with Rio. He knew Rio's persona was an integral part of his career, and he didn't want to upset the edifice Rio had painstakingly built.

"You're not disrespecting me, Rio, so forget that shit. I knew what the game was when I first moved in with you. I know shit's delicate right now, but I know the score, and I always have. The question I'd ask you is ... are you disrespecting yourself?"

Rio stood still. His dark, fiery eyes blazed. "That's exactly what this is about, isn't it? It's not about other people, it's not about my career, and it's not about you. It's about me, isn't it?"

Jay nodded. "Yeah. I think it is."

*

They spent a quiet Sunday afternoon. Rio went to the gym to swim some laps and pound some weights. He came home horny, smelling like gym soap, and Jay couldn't help himself. The smell of the soap was like an aphrodisiac to him. Almost as soon as Rio walked through the door, Jay dragged him to the couch and sucked a fat load out of Rio's thick, sweet-smelling snake.

They went out for dinner that night and found a new burger place that had just opened. Rio ordered a beef and bacon burger with a greasy fried egg on top. When it arrived, Jay pressed 9 and 1 on his phone, preparing to dial the final 1 while he looked around for the nearest defibrillator. Jay ordered the veggie burger. It came with lettuce, tomato, cheese, pickles and mayonnaise, and it was the most delicious burger he'd eaten in many years. They shared some fries.

They lay in bed that night. Jay was due at the library tomorrow morning. He was sitting up, propped up on pillows, reading.

Rio looked across at him. "Hey, Jay?"

Jay looked up from his book.

"I need to say something. Publicly, that is. I don't want this to turn into a fuckin' soap opera, but I just want you to know I'm finally done with this, and I've decided."

Jay knew what Rio was talking about. "Are you sure? When we finished talking last night, I thought you were going to talk to some people you might know who can help you."

Rio shook his head. He worked that idea through of his mind at the gym today, and he decided he needed do this on his own terms and in his own way. "That time is past, and the time is now."

Jay nodded. "Yeah, I get it. I feel you, man. This shit ain't easy ... and especially not for someone in your position."

"Can you help me write something?"

"Like I said last night, 100%. But I got work in the morning."

Rio nodded. "Whatchu gon' tell yo' bitch Britney?"

Jay thought. "I found your counsel of yestereve both prescient and sage, good sir."

Rio shook his head. "Are we living in a medieval castle right now? Where's my sword?"

"I'll give her a heads-up before the scene drops," Jay deadpanned. "And I know exactly where you keep your sword," he winked.

*

Jay rocked up for work on Monday morning in high-dollar library gear. Pastel vomit-green polo shirt with expensive designer logo, beige slacks, white socks, and a pair of brown leather loafers.

Go get him, ladies; he's all yours.

He shared lunch with Britney, but they talked about mundane stuff. Jay didn't mention his weekend, and Britney didn't talk too much about hers either. They didn't have sex.

He came home from work to find Rio sprawled on the couch, headphones on, listening to hardcore rap, eyes closed, feet tapping to the rhythm. Rio didn't even hear the front door open or close, he was hyperfocused on the bass and the beats.

Jay changed into street clothes without Rio even noticing his presence. The first Rio knew that Jay was home was when he felt the equilibrium of the couch change. He opened his eyes to find Jay sitting on the end of the sofa. He whipped his headphones off.

"Hey, Jay."

"Hey, DJ Rio. You rockin' the house?"

"Sorry dude, I didn't know you were home already. How was the library?"

"Not too bad for a Monday," Jay responded. "How was your day?"

After a guilty silence, Rio admitted the truth. "I didn't do very much today."

"Jealous," said Jay.

"Oh ... but one thing I did," Rio said, "was I went to the supermarket to buy some groceries for dinner. Sit down and get yo'self comfortable, Imma cook for you, dude."

Rio launched himself up off the couch. First stop was the refrigerator. He extracted two cold, imported beers from Thailand, and flipped the tops off. He ferried one beer across to Jay on the couch, while he planted the other next to himself on the kitchen counter. He took a slug before beginning to cook.

He chopped onions, garlic and chillies before frying them in a shallow pool of hot sesame oil. Jay was sitting in front of the television, but he wasn't interested in what was on the screen -- the main event was in the kitchen.

Rio added some finely diced carrot, peppers and snowpeas to the pan before adding soy sauce. Some pre-cooked tofu was the final ingredient. He stirred with a wooden spoon before dousing the heat and serving over pre-prepared rice. He took two bowls across to the living room, one for Jay and one for himself.

Jay tasted freshness, spiciness, heat and nutrition. "Fuck, dude, this is amazing." He shovelled the food in.

Rio grinned. "I'm glad you like it."

"Can't talk right now," smiled Jay. "Eating." After inhaling the food, he cleaned the bowl with his tongue. "That was fucking delicious," he said.

Rio beamed, happy that Jay enjoyed the dinner he'd cooked. "I'll tidy up," he said.

"No," disputed Jay. "You cooked, so I'll clean up. It's only fair."

"Yeah ... but you worked all day, and I did nothing, so ... let me do both."

Jay relinquished his responsibilities. "Thanks, dude." He could still taste the chilli on his tongue as Rio ferried the empty bowls back to the kitchen. Jay flipped the television on and zoned out, but from time to time, his gaze wandered across to the kitchen where a sculpted body with a twelve-inch dick did the washing up.

'I still can't fucking believe that this is my life,' Jay thought to himself.

*

Later, while Rio was taking a shower, Jay sat up in bed, scrolling through his socials on his laptop. It'd been a long time since he'd checked out Rio's Onlyfans page. Before they met, he was as thirsty as any other fan, but what's the benefit in checking the Onlyfans account of someone who's sleeping next to you?

Jay was surprised to see Rio had posted a pic of his ass earlier today. Rio's fingers pulled his cheeks apart, giving his subscribers a clear, unobstructed view of his nearly-virgin hole.

"Any comments?" was the caption.

The comments Rio solicited -- all 517 of them -- flowed like a deluge, and there were already 1726 likes. Most of the comments were from thirsty dudes, and Jay knew that if Rio had posted something like this before they met, he'd be the thirstiest of all.

He heard the bathroom door close and Rio's footsteps approach. He climbed into bed next to Jay, who pretended to be catching up on emails.

"You said you didn't do anything today?" Jay began.

"Well, almost nothing," came Rio's cryptic reply.

"I can see you did at least one thing today. I saw your Onlyfans post, dude." There was no jealousy, only curiosity.

Rio felt a little embarrassed, despite what happened with Jay last night. "You saw that post?" He climbed into bed.

"I'm still subscribed to your account, you know."

Rio had never considered this. "Why are you paying me $15 per month," asked Rio, "when you've got me for free?"

"Hmm," Jay mused, smiling out of one side of his mouth. "Not sure. Good question. Maybe I'll unsubscribe," he joked. He hoped Rio didn't think he was spying on him.

The room fell silent, though they both heard sirens way off, miles away.

"I can't remember you ever posting a pic of your ass online before," Jay continued.

"You're right. I haven't," Rio answered. "I've always felt uncomfortable about showing my ass."

"But it's so juicy!" encouraged Jay.

Rio thought about those countless hours he'd spent doing squats in the gym, but he still felt uncomfortable. "Thanks, Jay. Yeah, I've been told that before, but ..."

Jay knew where this line of enquiry would end, so there was no need to pursue it. Rio was 'straight', and 'straight' guys didn't have sexy booties. "So why'd you post it?"

Rio knew there was no judgment, just inquisitiveness. "It's a genuine question, Jay, and my honest answer is I'm not sure." Rio paused for a second. "I guess ... I guess I just wanted to see what reaction I'd get."

Jay coughed nervously. "Have you *seen* the reaction? Fuck, dude, your account has detonated. I don't think I've ever seen a single Onlyfans post of yours get so many likes or comments."

Rio eagerly fired up his laptop. As it booted, Jay dropped a hand under the bedsheets in search of Rio's meat. He found Rio's thick salami and gave it a loving squeeze. He still couldn't quite believe Rio was lying next to him.

Rio logged into his account. His inbox was overflowing. He showed Jay his screen. "Fuck, take a look at this!"

Jay smirked. "I'm not surprised, dude. You're in denial. You got a hot tush."

Rio's eyes met Jay's. "You wanna try again?"

Jay thought he knew what Rio was alluding to, but he needed to be sure. "I don't know what you mean, Rio."

Rio nodded. "Yes, you do, bruh."

Jay gulped. "You want me to try to fuck you again?"

"Yeah."

"If you're sure?"

"I'm sure, Jay. I want to know what it feels like." He powered down his laptop.

Jay rolled on top of Rio and kissed him. "I'm not so good at being a top, you know."

"Just think of me as Britney," said Rio.

Jay stopped cold. In this moment, that was absolutely the worst thing Rio could've said, but Rio had no idea how badly he'd fucked up.

Jay rolled off and lay on his back. "I can't do this right now. Not tonight, Rio." He paused to think. "I wish you didn't say what you just said."

Rio propped himself up on one elbow. "What do you mean?"

"I don't want to picture you as a woman, Rio. I'm not fucking joking. Like, please, just don't ever go there. You're the most masculine man I've ever laid eyes on, and that's one of the reasons I'm so fucking attracted to you. You made me go soft and limp as soon as you said that."

"I'm sorry, Jay. I was kind of just messin' with you, like I thought you might've found it funny, but ... yeah, OK, I hear what you're saying."

The mood was gone. Rio reopened his laptop and replied to his thirsty fans.

Jay rolled onto his side and turned his light off. He found it hard to fall asleep that night.

*

Tuesday lunchtime found Jay balls-deep in Britney's fat ass. She dragged him to the women's bathroom and took him into the special needs cubicle. She bent forward and pulled her cheeks apart while Jay rolled a rubber on. She wanted it bad, and so did Jay -- he needed to work last night's conversation out of his system. He fucked her mercilessly, almost scowling, and it was painful for her to stifle her moans and screams as she came.

Jay's nut flooded into the tip of the condom and his dick fell out of her ass. Britney rolled it off and poured his load onto her tongue.