All Comments on 'Ripe for the Picking'

I was captivated by the story line and character development, and I certainly hope any feedback you receive is based on technical merits of writing and not people's overwhelming need to be judgmental assholes. In total the piece was, as they say, a page turner for me. They element that you really captured extraordinarily well was the love, one for the other, and their need to stay slave and Master in order to keep the love that they so cherish.

Now, were there parts I would have edited to tightened up for clarity? Would I have rewritten some of the "affirmation" discussions between slave and Master? Yes, I would have done both but it was a very long story and works that lengthy can be fatiguing so I don't want to be picky.

I found I wanted more of two things. First, more use of the toys in the dungeon. Slaves excitement was almost palpable and reading those passages was a lot of fun for me the reader. I had a bit of difficulty actually picturing how the post she was secured to when he took her orally would actually work. Probably my bad. The other area I wanted more of was them out as a couple. I found the time at the restaurant fascinating in that slave was totally on display very provocatively, skin showing, three inch collar, on a leash, and in her seven inch heels. Slave dressed for the evening out is a striking sexual image that is so dichotomously powerful. She knows she has reached her pinnacle, understands it, and chooses to do nothing to acquire what most think is freedom, but she understands doing that will not get her freedom at all. It will just cause her to lose all she loves and cherishes.

Hate to get all Zen, but it is a powerful life lesson there that probably most readers won't see. I loved your writing style. Your pace is good. Description generally good. Sometimes redundancy slipped in but overall it was a great read. Thanks for the effort and creativity.

The Entire Kidnapping added an edge that isn't normally found in this type of a relationship; but you obviously have some experience in the lifestyle as I truly felt some close parallel to my own and it had me wondering as to each page how you would bring her along. The only unrealistic part was in how fast she turned, and the quick timeline but idyllic in not as much resistance and the pesky small parts that hinder us like a waiter or vanilla person being judgmental while out in public but loved the twist of making him Jealous and actually wanting her for himself. That is more true as there always somebody who thinks they know, or can interject. But usually this type of relationship takes time to cultivate and nurture to it's intended goal as he declares she is trained in such a fast manner. I do like though how he transformed her into a seething horny slut as he truly reached the ultimate goal, even if it isn't always centered or revolving around sex. This was a Hot story that keeps one captivated.

Not many words to say other than it was enthralling and totally captivating, I thoroughly enjoyed it from beginning to end, thank you.